FabSwingers.com forum: Bad break ups (fwb/partner)

By *r-8-BBC OP Man
22 weeks ago

LONDON

So, i was seeing a fwb and it came to an end over a misunderstanding, which is fine enough.

My question is. Why must such friendships come to an end be difficult?

I mean we were fucking just days before and we were telling each other how much we really like each other and get along, now I am the worst person on earth !

There is no need to be enemies! lol

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By *aughty driverMan
22 weeks ago

Romford

Happens sometimes dont overthink it plus it was notva serious relationship in the first place.

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By *r-8-BBC OP Man
22 weeks ago

LONDON

"Happens sometimes dont overthink it plus it was notva serious relationship in the first place."

I understand that but why have such enmity if it was serious in the first place ?

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By *bi HaiveMan
22 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Every relationship is different.

The one thing you can never control is the other person's feelings. You can't decide how they perceive things, how their emotions deal with problems and break ups and you'll have no control as to how they want things to be moving on.

You can only accept them.

Second guessing and trying to analyse someone else's choices will generally drive you nuts. Better to just move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

Sounds like it was maybe more serious for them. I think to have such high emotions towards a relationship breakdown there must have been more emotions involved to start with. If you were recently saying how much you liked each other then maybe it wasn’t as unserious to them as you thought.

Hopefully when things settle you’ll both be able to see it for what it was and remember you had a great time together

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By *midnight-Woman
22 weeks ago

...

The old adage 'time is a great healer' is very true in the majority of situations.

As is taking accountability, if your actions were responsible for any part of the breakdown. A heartfelt 'i'm sorry' goes a long way to paving a way forwards.

If not, then you just need to distract yourself and make yourself busy, so it's out of mind.

I'd recommend blocking their account if you might get upset to see that the they've moved on in any way.

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By *r-8-BBC OP Man
22 weeks ago

LONDON

I'm ok with the break up and yes theres two sides to a story but i wasnt at fault, and i wont be upset seeing them move on. We both knew what it was (fwb) and like someone said above we had a good ride.

I just do see why we can't stay friends instead of enemies. I messaged her to say let's stay friends and let her understand my side but she not having it which her choice.

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By *orphia2003Woman
22 weeks ago

Tonypandy.

Sometimes, what one party sees as a misunderstanding, the other views are something far more serious, and something for which the action changes the perspective of the 'arrangement'.

Eg. I don't send nude or genital pics to people. Really not my thing. I had joint profile with FB once, and despite knowing this, they chose to send private picture of us to a couple we were looking at meeting.

FB didn't see that they had done anything wrong, given that the couple had sent us graphic pics. It was a misunderstanding.

I immediately walked away. As far as I was concerned that was a serious breach of trust.

So it can be very easy for two people who are close to end things.

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By *r-8-BBC OP Man
22 weeks ago

LONDON

"Sometimes, what one party sees as a misunderstanding, the other views are something far more serious, and something for which the action changes the perspective of the 'arrangement'.

FB didn't see that they had done anything wrong, given that the couple had sent us graphic pics. It was a misunderstanding.

I immediately walked away. As far as I was concerned that was a serious breach of trust.

So it can be very easy for two people who are close to end things."

That's not a misunderstanding that's betrayal as you stated before that you was not comfortable in swapping pics. My situation was different. No breach in trust or being disrespectful on my part.

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By *a LunaWoman
22 weeks ago

o o OO o o

Because if you feel (rightly or wrongly) that someone has upset you - why would you want to see them again so soon and be all friendly?

A bit of space, no communication, sometimes it can right itself but if not then best to just move on. That’s just how some folk deal with things.

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By *r-8-BBC OP Man
22 weeks ago

LONDON

"Because if you feel (rightly or wrongly) that someone has upset you - why would you want to see them again so soon and be all friendly?

A bit of space, no communication, sometimes it can right itself but if not then best to just move on. That’s just how some folk deal with things."

Because we're adults and if there is a misunderstanding then it should set straight.

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By *urenutsMan
22 weeks ago

waltham cross/Harrow HA1

Some times it's just the right opportunity to use to break up. It shows you have strong emotions and was getting to close as a FWB. Sometimes getting to close as a FWB comes at a cost.

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By *a LunaWoman
22 weeks ago

o o OO o o

"Because if you feel (rightly or wrongly) that someone has upset you - why would you want to see them again so soon and be all friendly?

A bit of space, no communication, sometimes it can right itself but if not then best to just move on. That’s just how some folk deal with things.

Because we're adults and if there is a misunderstanding then it should set straight. "

You’re looking at this from a man’s point of view. I.e logically.

Most women (not all!!!) are more emotionally led.

That’s why they need a bit of space to think things over, to cool down and to recalibrate their emotions. Then they are more ready to talk things through. Maybe.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
22 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

I've remained friendly with the majority of former partners and fwbs.

I wouldn't say it is at all necessary to end everything entirely in general. Certain circumstances and behaviours are definitely worthy of a swift and absolute removal though 💜

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
22 weeks ago

little house on the praire

Not everyone wants to remain friends after a break up. Respect her wishes

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By *ai Hard 2 - Dai HarderMan
22 weeks ago

Manchester / Cardiff

"My question is. Why must such friendships come to an end be difficult?"

I wish I knew the answer... There are already a great number of suggestions and thoughts listed above, some from opposing points of view, but ALL I can see their point. That's what makes this so difficult for me; having gone through similar last year, I just never settled to one answer to why? I think some of that may have been, only SHE had the answer. Took me a while (and some counselling) to accept it.

I just hope Luna's "maybe" comes true one day. Until then, it's a case of respecting her wish...

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By *ansoffateMan
22 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

I can't tell if you want an answer or acknowledgement.

The answer in a word - attachment - after years of studying that stuff - I can tell you 'getting it' doesn't make much difference. It does improve one's appreciation of sarcasm and irony though.

On a more emotive level - I definitely feel you on this one. It could be so much simpler than it often is.

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By *r-8-BBC OP Man
22 weeks ago

LONDON

Women

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

"Because if you feel (rightly or wrongly) that someone has upset you - why would you want to see them again so soon and be all friendly?

A bit of space, no communication, sometimes it can right itself but if not then best to just move on. That’s just how some folk deal with things.

Because we're adults and if there is a misunderstanding then it should set straight.

You’re looking at this from a man’s point of view. I.e logically.

Most women (not all!!!) are more emotionally led.

That’s why they need a bit of space to think things over, to cool down and to recalibrate their emotions. Then they are more ready to talk things through. Maybe."

There's a truth to this..

I remember walking with a lady in a rural part of australia. A car stopped by us both and asked, "Are you going to (*some location*)?"

I immediately replied, "..no we're actually going to (*another location *)".

He smiled & drove off.

The lady looked at me and said, " You moron.. He was offering us a lift.."

I had answered very logically, but stupidly.

..We then continued our long walk in the blistering Austrian heat...melting..

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By *vonne5exMan
22 weeks ago

Doncaster

"So, i was seeing a fwb and it came to an end over a misunderstanding, which is fine enough.

My question is. Why must such friendships come to an end be difficult?

I mean we were fucking just days before and we were telling each other how much we really like each other and get along, now I am the worst person on earth !

There is no need to be enemies! lol"
3rd party involved, it's called a monkey relationship,

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By *r-8-BBC OP Man
22 weeks ago

LONDON

"So, i was seeing a fwb and it came to an end over a misunderstanding, which is fine enough.

My question is. Why must such friendships come to an end be difficult?

I mean we were fucking just days before and we were telling each other how much we really like each other and get along, now I am the worst person on earth !

There is no need to be enemies! lol3rd party involved, it's called a monkey relationship, "

I get that and well could just be that. But she knows me well enough to say I'm swinging to another branch instead of saying I did something when I didn't and before anyone else say "move on" i have !

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By *ildTimes.Man
22 weeks ago

Wherever I May Roam

Because ...Women..🤷🏻‍♂️ 🥪

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By *alkirkFilthCouple
22 weeks ago

Falkirk

"So, i was seeing a fwb and it came to an end over a misunderstanding, which is fine enough.

My question is. Why must such friendships come to an end be difficult?

I mean we were fucking just days before and we were telling each other how much we really like each other and get along, now I am the worst person on earth !

There is no need to be enemies! lol"

We feel your pain. Mrs Filth is still considered the worst person in the world over ending a relationship 1 yr ago. Still on the receiving end of sly comments/digs & just general nastiness at times.

We were by no innocent, none of us were within the relationship, it ended yo toxic and it was Mrs F that ended it for all our sakes-as no one was happy-but I am the one labelled as nasty & vidicive. It almost broke us as a couple and had to end.

I'd take civil at this point but have come to realise that some people just don't want civil, they would rather have the drama and keep interfering

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By *ynamicnatureMan
22 weeks ago

Doncaster

G'day Mr 8,

It definitely sounds like she had stronger feelings towards you than know of.

As another poster mentioned, time really is a great heeler.

I committed the biggest act of self sabotage in Jan with someone I care for and I'm pretty sure the feeling is mutual.

She was not happy with me at all and she had every reason to feel that way.

I did apologise and sincerely meant it, 5 weeks later , we've had a good chat about stuff and we're now seeing each other again,😁😁😁

Life really is like a rollercoaster 🌈

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By *r-8-BBC OP Man
22 weeks ago

LONDON

"G'day Mr 8,

It definitely sounds like she had stronger feelings towards you than know of.

As another poster mentioned, time really is a great heeler.

I committed the biggest act of self sabotage in Jan with someone I care for and I'm pretty sure the feeling is mutual.

She was not happy with me at all and she had every reason to feel that way.

I did apologise and sincerely meant it, 5 weeks later , we've had a good chat about stuff and we're now seeing each other again,😁😁😁

Life really is like a rollercoaster 🌈"

I'm glad it's worked out for you. She has removed me from her fab account & telegram and deleted my messages but not blocked me as far as i know. I am not taking it any further though as she clearly doesn't want to speak to me.

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