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Alternative uses for sex toys

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

My 10 year old daughter found my gold vibrating bullet on my bed recently (I forgot to put it away after some early morning fun with her dad).

When she questioned me about it while holding it up to my face "Mummy, what's this?" I told her the first thing that came to my head which was "It's and ear massager for when you have an ear ache" I then proceeded to exemplify it's use (on my ear).

She believed me and I breathed a sigh of relief while hubby giggled behind me.

What "alternative" uses do you envisage for your sex toys?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i did see on telly.....i think its American pie the wedding the uses the large anal balls as a neck massager

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I use my blow up sheep as a li lo

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

.

Some time ago I complained to my elderly next door neighbour that my back was hurting.

" Hold on dear, I have a new back massager" and proceeded to bring out a 9 inch vibrator

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My 10 year old daughter found my gold vibrating bullet on my bed recently (I forgot to put it away after some early morning fun with her dad).

When she questioned me about it while holding it up to my face "Mummy, what's this?" I told her the first thing that came to my head which was "It's and ear massager for when you have an ear ache" I then proceeded to exemplify it's use (on my ear).

She believed me and I breathed a sigh of relief while hubby giggled behind me.

What "alternative" uses do you envisage for your sex toys?"

And now we wait for the day when your daughter has an earache whilst all the family are visiting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 03/05/13 16:06:04]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My 10 year old daughter found my gold vibrating bullet on my bed recently (I forgot to put it away after some early morning fun with her dad).

When she questioned me about it while holding it up to my face "Mummy, what's this?" I told her the first thing that came to my head which was "It's and ear massager for when you have an ear ache" I then proceeded to exemplify it's use (on my ear).

She believed me and I breathed a sigh of relief while hubby giggled behind me.

What "alternative" uses do you envisage for your sex toys?"

Jaz's mum once told me that an older woman at her quilting group had bought a bullet to massage her hands after a long day of crafting. Each to their own- it embarassed her more to tell us! :P

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

.


"My 10 year old daughter found my gold vibrating bullet on my bed recently (I forgot to put it away after some early morning fun with her dad).

When she questioned me about it while holding it up to my face "Mummy, what's this?" I told her the first thing that came to my head which was "It's and ear massager for when you have an ear ache" I then proceeded to exemplify it's use (on my ear).

She believed me and I breathed a sigh of relief while hubby giggled behind me.

What "alternative" uses do you envisage for your sex toys?

And now we wait for the day when your daughter has an earache whilst all the family are visiting "

Off topic, but my friends little girl was picking her nose and I said to her, that if she kept on doing it her brain would come down. The vicar came for tea and she walked up to her mum with the biggest bogie on her finger and said "Mum, look, my brain has come down my nose"

Back to the topic in hand

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By *ll-Knight-longMan
over a year ago

Derby/Notts(Long Eaton)

A rubber dimpled cock ring can be used for counting bank notes.....

A large dildo can be used in the garden as a dibber......

The hooks in the ceiling can hold hanging plants...........

Ropes and chains can be used to secure items on the roof rack .....honest

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By *asey369Woman
over a year ago

London

A rabbit can be used for blending cocktails.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A rabbit can be used for blending cocktails."
emphasis on cock

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By *pecifically1Woman
over a year ago

Hull


"A rubber dimpled cock ring can be used for counting bank notes.....

A large dildo can be used in the garden as a dibber......

The hooks in the ceiling can hold hanging plants...........

Ropes and chains can be used to secure items on the roof rack .....honest "

I don't know I would want to use my dildo if it had been a dibber....

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By *an and wifeyCouple
over a year ago

n lincs

our first born went into our bedroom while i was at work and said to wifey whats daddy's willy doing up there, he was 2 and a half and it was our 8 inch dildo we had been playing with the night before and not put it away, doh

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Once there was this geezer called Smithy Robinson, who worked for Harry. It was rumoured that he was on the take. Harry's invited Smithy round for an explanation. Smithy didn't do a very good job. Within a minute, Harry's lost his rag, reached out for the nearest thing at hand, which happened to be a 15 inch black rubber cock. He's then proceeded to batter poor Smithy to death with it. Now that was seen as a pleasant way to go. Hence, Hatchet Harry is a man you pay if you owe.

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By *allen MadonnaWoman
over a year ago

In my own little world

went on a swinger/biker camping weekend. forgot my mallet so used the base end of my large solid metal butt plug 'known as metal mickey'!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Once there was this geezer called Smithy Robinson, who worked for Harry. It was rumoured that he was on the take. Harry's invited Smithy round for an explanation. Smithy didn't do a very good job. Within a minute, Harry's lost his rag, reached out for the nearest thing at hand, which happened to be a 15 inch black rubber cock. He's then proceeded to batter poor Smithy to death with it. Now that was seen as a pleasant way to go. Hence, Hatchet Harry is a man you pay if you owe. "

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Rumour has it that a rampant rabbit will put a nice froth on your cappuccino

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My 10 year old daughter found my gold vibrating bullet on my bed recently (I forgot to put it away after some early morning fun with her dad).

When she questioned me about it while holding it up to my face "Mummy, what's this?" I told her the first thing that came to my head which was "It's and ear massager for when you have an ear ache" I then proceeded to exemplify it's use (on my ear).

She believed me and I breathed a sigh of relief while hubby giggled behind me.

What "alternative" uses do you envisage for your sex toys?"

She touched your used vib........am I the only one thinking 'ick, hope you got her to wash her hands afterwards!!'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"She touched your used vib........am I the only one thinking 'ick, hope you got her to wash her hands afterwards!!'

"

pmsl.........the thought did spring to mind, but I quickly shoved it from whence it came!

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

Jemma Jamesons realistic vibrating vagina makes a splendid piggy bank.

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By *avindaWoman
over a year ago

North Wales


"Jemma Jamesons realistic vibrating vagina makes a splendid piggy bank. "

Lmao. But what happens when you put your hand in to try and take any out?

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush


"Jemma Jamesons realistic vibrating vagina makes a splendid piggy bank.

Lmao. But what happens when you put your hand in to try and take any out? "

It gives you sticky fingers lol

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By *avindaWoman
over a year ago

North Wales


"Jemma Jamesons realistic vibrating vagina makes a splendid piggy bank.

Lmao. But what happens when you put your hand in to try and take any out?

It gives you sticky fingers lol"

Think l will stick to saving in a coffee jar then, lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My suction cup dildo makes a great coat hanger

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