FabSwingers.com forum: Sex and relationship advice

By *eltCuteMightDelete OP Woman
20 weeks ago

Reading

Who do you go to for advice like this? And do they give good advice?

I just sent a friend (generously an 'ex') a question asking him to explain men to me and he responded by roasting me. It was what I needed.

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By *hunky GentMan
20 weeks ago

Nottingham and Stamford

A problem with advice like this is that it's a personal objective.

Everyone has a different idea of what Goss sex or a good relationship is.

We can agree on some things, but unlike on the whole picture.

I know - I'm no help.

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By *eltCuteMightDelete OP Woman
20 weeks ago

Reading

"A problem with advice like this is that it's a personal objective.

Everyone has a different idea of what Goss sex or a good relationship is.

We can agree on some things, but unlike on the whole picture.

I know - I'm no help.

That's why I'm asking who YOU go to for advice? I'll only ask certain people for it, those who know me well and what I want/need. And who give me advice that is useful to me (in this case ripping me to shreds in the way only an ex/friend can do)

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By *estructionDollyWoman
20 weeks ago

Manchester

I try and talk to my best friend but we have a very different outlooks on sex and relationships so we can sometimes see things differently. I do know that she only has the best at heart for me though which is help in itself sometimes. I have actually found friends I have made in the swinger community a great help in discussing non monogamy and dating.

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

Normally make a post about it on here 🤣

Full of advice whether you can call it all good is subjective 🤣🤣

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By *sWyldWoman
20 weeks ago

Edinburgh

My bestie usually but we are as messed up as each other.

Potentially a fab friend for some male perspective

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By *acchus LyaeosMan
20 weeks ago

London

I've never needed sex advice, but for relationships I would go to friends or my therapist depending on the advice required

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By *upanovaMan
20 weeks ago

Sheffield

My brother but he'll probably come out with some sarcastic shit and not be helpful! I could probably speak to an old friend (my first ever girlfriend in fact!) who I know is on here, but I don't know her profile lol.

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By *midnight-Woman
20 weeks ago

...

I look on fab or Marie Claire

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
20 weeks ago

East Sussex

Nobody.

I wouldn't take any advice anyway 🤦

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

I might talk to my sister or a couple of particular friends for relationship advice, but I've not felt the need to do that for a long time.

I don't go to anyone for sex advice.

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By *eroLondonMan
20 weeks ago

Mayfair

"...and he responded by •roasting• me. It was what I needed. "

The lucky fellow. 😈

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By *uri00620Woman
20 weeks ago

Croydon

I don't. I don't want to talk about relationships and I'm sure no one would want to hear anyway.

Not sure about sex advice, not something I'd think I needed nowdays 🤷‍♀️

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By *esYesOMGYes!Man
20 weeks ago

Didsbury

I’m very lucky to have a wise and clever sister I can tell pretty much anything. She’s also a therapist so an awesome listener who asks the right questions. When I really need her opinion I tell her I need my sister not the therapist.

Easily one of my favourite people in the world.

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By *ilsaGeorgeCouple
20 weeks ago

kent

Ailsa and I have been together for almost 30 years, and we’ve been tested in some significant ways. There is no one else I would go to for advice x

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

Both my partners are my go to usually.

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

"Both my partners are my go to usually. "

Oh and one person from here.

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By *egasus NobMan
20 weeks ago

Wandsworth

"Who do you go to for advice like this? And do they give good advice?

I just sent a friend (generously an 'ex') a question asking him to explain men to me and he responded by roasting me. It was what I needed. "

Books[Audio] and life experience

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By *ouble-SidedCouple
20 weeks ago

Voldsøy

My husband, my best friend, and more recently a fwb.

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By *inkShyWoman
20 weeks ago

near Windsor

I go to my best friend as she will tell me what I need to hear, can see through my crap and will still deliver it without making me feel rubbish if it's not the answer I want.

However, if I want someone to validate a bad decision I've made, I will go to the friend that I know will agree with me.... 🙄

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By *cLovin2Man
20 weeks ago

London

I confess that I don't ask anyone, my family are conservative about sexual matters, my best friend wouldn't understand my views. He's recovering from cancer so wouldn't want to burden him.

Tbh now I think about it, I don't talk to anyone about these things, never have. It's my business and I keep it to myself, just like my membership of this site. the world outside is too vanilla to understand a complex creature like me.

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By *eltCuteMightDelete OP Woman
20 weeks ago

Reading

I'm honestly surprised that some of you are saying nobody... do you not NEED an outlet for some of the stuff that we do? And I don't necessarily mean advice about actual sex mechanics. More about advice around when sex is what connects you to another person.

Incidentally, my ex/friend came back with some spot on observations about the way I operate. First the drag, then the hard truth.

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By *hunky GentMan
20 weeks ago

Nottingham and Stamford

My sex life (or lack of it) is not something I can talk about my my best mates.

I may make a joke about it, but nothing serious.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
20 weeks ago

little house on the praire

[Removed by poster at 04/03/25 20:41:40]

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By *pontaneous_coupleCouple
20 weeks ago

Hoddesdon

I find it very useful that I have one specific best friend that knows the ins and outs without holding back any details because she is trustworthy and earned that position, so we find discussing encounters like yours we figure out a lot about ourselves and why it’s happened, how it happened and how we have responded to it. It usually ends up in a conversation around past experiences that have been triggered and either how to move on or addressing the issues so they don’t arise again xx

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
20 weeks ago

little house on the praire

I've never really asked for advice

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By *ilsaGeorgeCouple
20 weeks ago

kent

"I'm honestly surprised that some of you are saying nobody... do you not NEED an outlet for some of the stuff that we do? And I don't necessarily mean advice about actual sex mechanics. More about advice around when sex is what connects you to another person.

Incidentally, my ex/friend came back with some spot on observations about the way I operate. First the drag, then the hard truth.

If it weren’t for Ailsa, I wouldn’t talk to anyone. It takes real trust, and that isn’t something I’m good at (although I’m getting better) Xx

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By *eltCuteMightDelete OP Woman
20 weeks ago

Reading

Incidentally, my ex/friend came back with some spot on observations about the way I operate. First the drag, then the hard truth.

If it weren’t for Ailsa, I wouldn’t talk to anyone. It takes real trust, and that isn’t something I’m good at (although I’m getting better) Xx"

I'm glad you have her but also practice makes perfect with other people. I recommend it.

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By *ilsaGeorgeCouple
20 weeks ago

kent

Incidentally, my ex/friend came back with some spot on observations about the way I operate. First the drag, then the hard truth.

If it weren’t for Ailsa, I wouldn’t talk to anyone. It takes real trust, and that isn’t something I’m good at (although I’m getting better) Xx

I'm glad you have her but also practice makes perfect with other people. I recommend it."

I used to be quite good at it, but it’s not an easy thing to recover when you’ve lost the knack. But, as you say, practice x

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By *pontaneous_coupleCouple
20 weeks ago

Hoddesdon

Incidentally, my ex/friend came back with some spot on observations about the way I operate. First the drag, then the hard truth.

You probably won’t want to reach out to a stranger, but if you do want a female outlet friend, I’m happy to listen and be honest and supportive xxx

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
20 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly

I don’t think I’ve ever looked for advice from anyone. I do talk things through with people, though. I’ve got a few good friends from here who get me, who it’s good to discuss things with particularly in this lifestyle. That’s also one of the things I really enjoyed when I joined the forums.

Mrs TMN x

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By *cLovin2Man
20 weeks ago

London

Incidentally, my ex/friend came back with some spot on observations about the way I operate. First the drag, then the hard truth.

Feedback from an ex can be enlightening, true.

But I don't think I am weird when I say that I don't need to tell someone what I am up to in my personal life. Even before I became a swinger I was very much the same, when married I was the same to my memory, always been like that tbh. Some people need to offload, I guess others like me don't.

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By *electableicecreamMan
20 weeks ago

The West

I have a close female friend and were regularly help each other with relationship stuff by explaining our respective genders and why we make no sense to each other.

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By *ea monkeyMan
20 weeks ago

Manchester (he/him)

As befitting my poly situation, I’ve got friends, partners and others that I can message and share with. If I need advice then I can seek it there.

I generally feel that people asking advice are rarely looking for your opinion though, they usually know what they should do and they’re simply looking for a friendly ear to work it out themselves. Active listening is a wonderful skill

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By *ad NannaWoman
20 weeks ago

East London

I usually bounce stuff off of my daughters; mainly to say it out loud to think it through myself better.

I had some sage words from my younger daughter last year, who told me some home truths about a relationship. I haven't acted on it,yet.

I should have but I didn't want to go into a mourning period and make my life even harder than it is.

I used to just sit with my mum in her garden in the evenings, with a cup of tea-listening to the birds with barely a word spoken between us. Those evenings my mind would clear and I'd decide what to do with my life.

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By *ad NannaWoman
20 weeks ago

East London

Sexual advice I don't need.

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By *eltCuteMightDelete OP Woman
20 weeks ago

Reading

Ooh yeah, the previous two commenters that said people just want to talk it out or have someone listen is definitely what I meant as opposed to 'advice' - I'm going to do what I'm going to do usually. I'm not looking for a steer! Which is probably why my friend dragging me was actually what I needed rather than anything more useful.

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By *bitofaslutWoman
20 weeks ago

Cannock

[Removed by poster at 05/03/25 17:39:17]

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By *bitofaslutWoman
20 weeks ago

Cannock

I'm usually the one giving advice.

Just got PM'd on a different site an hour ago in fact. A fellow trans woman who'd just split with her partner. I went through that two years ago and we're besties and sisters now.

I kinda don't have anyone to talk to about my stuff though. Just kinda muddle through, have a bath, do some retail therapy and wear my problems away with self care and positivity.

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By *layfull pairingCouple
20 weeks ago

Bristol

Lads in a construction site canteen... always get a wide (and perverse) set of views on any subject... all of which is best to ignore. ...

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By *ablo.Man
17 weeks ago

Derby

It will please me to have a female friend for a sweet and non judgemental relationship.

If you are interested in dating, let's do it. Please reach out to me

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By *igblackchocolateMan
17 weeks ago

London & Essex

Depends what advice for sex the person you know who has a lot of sex and relationships advice from someone older and is in a successful relationship if they single don’t listen to them unless they speaking sense and there’s proof there advice helped others

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By *tr8MrEMan
17 weeks ago

somewhere near Sheffield

I have a friend on fab whom I would confide in and I know I'd get a completely honest answer every time

She knows who she is

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By *ynamite500Man
17 weeks ago

Angus

Sex and relationship advice??

Well that is easy.. Don't have sex and don't have a relationship...then there's no problem nor a need to ask for advice 🤭

Hope my advice helps🤣

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago

Only rely on someone who can be objective. That means someone isn't going to suck up to you because a lot of people can't be trusted to give good advice due to friendship/family dynamics and not telling you about certain things like your blind spots that would be necessary with your personal growth if there is some perspective you hold that isn't positive or productive. They may also harbour perceptions and ideologies that may be toxic or unconstructive and steer you away from from things that would otherwise be more beneficial for you, especially when it comes to understanding men.

At the same time, they should also be capable of understanding the psychology to how men think and feel. So really, a man is best to ask for this advice if you want to understand men. Preferably a guy who has no skin in the game and also no interest in getting in your good books.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
17 weeks ago

North West

Advice? No-one.

A bit of a piss take and a laugh about sex? My mate (ex-PT).

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago

It's sad but true no one, I push people away

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