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Studies on swinging relationships

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By *ittleMissCali_MrDJ OP   Couple
23 weeks ago

wonderland.

Been arguing in defence of swinging relationships on a popular social media platform and realised when I'm trying to defend it... that there is very little actual data available and what is around states that 92% or poly ( which i know is different from swinging) and non monogamous marriages fail..now in my experience this seems very flawed data

Now my theory on this is that many keep it very private so until the relationship breaks down.. no one was aware it was a relationship/ marriage of this type..

Also the data suggesting swinging breaks up relationships ( again something I strongly disagree with, but accept that if a couple use it to try and fix an already strained relationship, it's not going to be healthy)

So does anyone have any good research data..... as its a bit hard to argue that swinging can be healthy as couples talk more etc when Google tells people that 92% of these couples fail..

Does anyone else feel the data is just lacking due to most swingers or non monogamous couples keeping it to themselves.. therefore to the outside people think they are a vanilla couple??

Or any other ideas

I did find a research paper from Houston Texas but it didn't cite any of its sources for data.

Thanks

Cali

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

Sydney university apparently has lots of data 📊

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By *ittleMissCali_MrDJ OP   Couple
23 weeks ago

wonderland.


"Sydney university apparently has lots of data 📊 "
yet not on this lol

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By *elloWoman
23 weeks ago

alpha centauri


"Sydney university apparently has lots of data 📊 "

They haven't got enough data because everyone has that 100% legal threat on their profiles.

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

I think research on ENM relationships are probably not going to be generalisable and so I’d probably value research that has more of an in-depth qualitative approach.

I wouldn’t worry about success rates of marriage either. I’d be more interested to know more about how happy people are. How things look for elders. What things tend to be hardest to navigate. Things that can teach us about what relationships actually look like.

Besides, I would imagine lots of people in ENM relationships do not get married.

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By *ittleMissCali_MrDJ OP   Couple
23 weeks ago

wonderland.

Apparently according to the "expert " I'm discussing it with... we are all in a cult.

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By *he Flat CapsCouple
23 weeks ago

Pontypool

And of those 92% of relationships fail, what is the reason?

Is it financial/domestic @buse? Is it falling out of love? Is it due to health issues, job relocation?

Relationships fail all the time. For lots of reasons.

Unless you can unequivocally attribute the relationship breakdown to their poly/swinging status, then I'd be very wary of the stats.

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By *ertcoupleCouple
23 weeks ago

Hatfield


"Apparently according to the "expert " I'm discussing it with... we are all in a cult. "

Oh we're in a cult? What cults that then? The happy, fun, open minded cult... rather that than their miserable, opinionated, stuck up, boring cult

Maybe that's just us... if they don't like it f*ck-em

xxx

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By *ittleMissCali_MrDJ OP   Couple
23 weeks ago

wonderland.


"And of those 92% of relationships fail, what is the reason?

Is it financial/domestic @buse? Is it falling out of love? Is it due to health issues, job relocation?

Relationships fail all the time. For lots of reasons.

Unless you can unequivocally attribute the relationship breakdown to their poly/swinging status, then I'd be very wary of the stats. "

I've tried arguing that but it's falling on deaf ears

. To be fair though half of them also found a woman breastfeeding in public disgusting to so

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By *allySlinkyWoman
23 weeks ago

Leeds

What percentage of monogamous marriages end in divorce?

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By *antasticMrFucks07Man
23 weeks ago

plymouth


"Been arguing in defence of swinging relationships on a popular social media platform and realised when I'm trying to defend it... that there is very little actual data available and what is around states that 92% or poly ( which i know is different from swinging) and non monogamous marriages fail..now in my experience this seems very flawed data

Now my theory on this is that many keep it very private so until the relationship breaks down.. no one was aware it was a relationship/ marriage of this type..

Also the data suggesting swinging breaks up relationships ( again something I strongly disagree with, but accept that if a couple use it to try and fix an already strained relationship, it's not going to be healthy)

So does anyone have any good research data..... as its a bit hard to argue that swinging can be healthy as couples talk more etc when Google tells people that 92% of these couples fail..

Does anyone else feel the data is just lacking due to most swingers or non monogamous couples keeping it to themselves.. therefore to the outside people think they are a vanilla couple??

Or any other ideas

I did find a research paper from Houston Texas but it didn't cite any of its sources for data.

Thanks

Cali "

Arguing that swinging can be healthy relies on a few key points: communication, relationship satisfaction, trust, and personal fulfillment. Research on consensual non-monogamy (CNM), including swinging, supports the idea that it can contribute to a strong and fulfilling relationship—when approached in a healthy way.

1. Communication & Trust

One of the biggest advantages of swinging is that it forces open and honest communication between partners. Unlike some traditional monogamous relationships where cheating may occur in secret, swinging requires explicit consent, boundaries, and discussions about desires and expectations.

• Dr. Justin Lehmiller (Kinsey Institute Researcher) found that people in CNM relationships often report higher levels of communication and trust than monogamous couples. In his book Tell Me What You Want, he discusses how non-monogamous individuals tend to have deeper conversations about needs and boundaries.

• Moors et al. (2014) found that individuals in consensually non-monogamous relationships report equal or higher levels of trust and honesty compared to monogamous couples.

2. Relationship Satisfaction

Despite the common stereotype that swinging leads to breakups, research shows that many non-monogamous couples report equal or greater levels of relationship satisfaction compared to monogamous couples.

• A study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior (2017) found that people in CNM relationships report similar levels of commitment and satisfaction as monogamous couples. This contradicts the idea that non-monogamous relationships are inherently unstable.

• Rubin & Adams (1986) conducted one of the earliest studies on swingers and found that many reported high levels of marital satisfaction—often due to the excitement, open communication, and trust required in swinging relationships.

3. Addressing the ‘Swinging Ruins Relationships’ Myth

A common argument against swinging is that it leads to breakups. However, the key factor isn’t swinging itself—it’s the state of the relationship before entering it.

• Study by Vaillant & Zaleski (2014) found that couples who entered non-monogamy with clear communication and a strong emotional foundation had high satisfaction levels. In contrast, those who tried it to “fix” an already strained relationship were more likely to struggle.

• Sheff & Tesene (2015) found that jealousy in non-monogamous relationships is often managed better than in monogamous ones, as partners develop coping strategies and openly discuss boundaries.

4. Psychological Well-Being & Personal Fulfillment

Swinging allows people to explore their sexuality without deception while maintaining a committed relationship.

• Conley et al. (2018) found that individuals in CNM relationships reported lower levels of jealousy and higher levels of sexual satisfaction compared to monogamous individuals.

• The Journal of Sex Research (2020) published findings showing that people engaged in CNM often feel more sexually fulfilled and experience less guilt or shame about their desires compared to those who suppress them in monogamy.

Conclusion: Swinging Can Be Healthy IF…

1. The relationship is built on strong communication and trust.

2. Both partners genuinely want to explore non-monogamy, rather than one pushing the other.

3. Boundaries are discussed and respected.

4. It’s not used as a “fix” for an already struggling relationship.

While research on swinging specifically is still somewhat limited, the broader research on CNM shows strong evidence that non-monogamous relationships can be just as healthy—if not healthier—than traditional monogamous ones.

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

I think that it is as you sort of steered towards. Many swinging journeys tend to begin in a bid to reinvigorate their relationship which is a dodgy move. Therefore, the statistics are immediately flawed.

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By *ripfillMan
23 weeks ago

Paris, New York, Hong Kong and Havant


"Sydney university apparently has lots of data 📊

They haven't got enough data because everyone has that 100% legal threat on their profiles."

Quite right too …. nosy barstards !

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By *ittleMissCali_MrDJ OP   Couple
23 weeks ago

wonderland.


"I think that it is as you sort of steered towards. Many swinging journeys tend to begin in a bid to reinvigorate their relationship which is a dodgy move. Therefore, the statistics are immediately flawed."
see I'd say that was a flawed view... as we all know that a relationship needs to be strong before you add anyone else... adding another is going to be asking for trouble.

I'd say more couples decide to try a 3sum because of sexual desires than trying to appease someone

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By *ittleMissCali_MrDJ OP   Couple
23 weeks ago

wonderland.


"Been arguing in defence of swinging relationships on a popular social media platform and realised when I'm trying to defend it... that there is very little actual data available and what is around states that 92% or poly ( which i know is different from swinging) and non monogamous marriages fail..now in my experience this seems very flawed data

Now my theory on this is that many keep it very private so until the relationship breaks down.. no one was aware it was a relationship/ marriage of this type..

Also the data suggesting swinging breaks up relationships ( again something I strongly disagree with, but accept that if a couple use it to try and fix an already strained relationship, it's not going to be healthy)

So does anyone have any good research data..... as its a bit hard to argue that swinging can be healthy as couples talk more etc when Google tells people that 92% of these couples fail..

Does anyone else feel the data is just lacking due to most swingers or non monogamous couples keeping it to themselves.. therefore to the outside people think they are a vanilla couple??

Or any other ideas

I did find a research paper from Houston Texas but it didn't cite any of its sources for data.

Thanks

Cali

Arguing that swinging can be healthy relies on a few key points: communication, relationship satisfaction, trust, and personal fulfillment. Research on consensual non-monogamy (CNM), including swinging, supports the idea that it can contribute to a strong and fulfilling relationship—when approached in a healthy way.

1. Communication & Trust

One of the biggest advantages of swinging is that it forces open and honest communication between partners. Unlike some traditional monogamous relationships where cheating may occur in secret, swinging requires explicit consent, boundaries, and discussions about desires and expectations.

• Dr. Justin Lehmiller (Kinsey Institute Researcher) found that people in CNM relationships often report higher levels of communication and trust than monogamous couples. In his book Tell Me What You Want, he discusses how non-monogamous individuals tend to have deeper conversations about needs and boundaries.

• Moors et al. (2014) found that individuals in consensually non-monogamous relationships report equal or higher levels of trust and honesty compared to monogamous couples.

2. Relationship Satisfaction

Despite the common stereotype that swinging leads to breakups, research shows that many non-monogamous couples report equal or greater levels of relationship satisfaction compared to monogamous couples.

• A study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior (2017) found that people in CNM relationships report similar levels of commitment and satisfaction as monogamous couples. This contradicts the idea that non-monogamous relationships are inherently unstable.

• Rubin & Adams (1986) conducted one of the earliest studies on swingers and found that many reported high levels of marital satisfaction—often due to the excitement, open communication, and trust required in swinging relationships.

3. Addressing the ‘Swinging Ruins Relationships’ Myth

A common argument against swinging is that it leads to breakups. However, the key factor isn’t swinging itself—it’s the state of the relationship before entering it.

• Study by Vaillant & Zaleski (2014) found that couples who entered non-monogamy with clear communication and a strong emotional foundation had high satisfaction levels. In contrast, those who tried it to “fix” an already strained relationship were more likely to struggle.

• Sheff & Tesene (2015) found that jealousy in non-monogamous relationships is often managed better than in monogamous ones, as partners develop coping strategies and openly discuss boundaries.

4. Psychological Well-Being & Personal Fulfillment

Swinging allows people to explore their sexuality without deception while maintaining a committed relationship.

• Conley et al. (2018) found that individuals in CNM relationships reported lower levels of jealousy and higher levels of sexual satisfaction compared to monogamous individuals.

• The Journal of Sex Research (2020) published findings showing that people engaged in CNM often feel more sexually fulfilled and experience less guilt or shame about their desires compared to those who suppress them in monogamy.

Conclusion: Swinging Can Be Healthy IF…

1. The relationship is built on strong communication and trust.

2. Both partners genuinely want to explore non-monogamy, rather than one pushing the other.

3. Boundaries are discussed and respected.

4. It’s not used as a “fix” for an already struggling relationship.

While research on swinging specifically is still somewhat limited, the broader research on CNM shows strong evidence that non-monogamous relationships can be just as healthy—if not healthier—than traditional monogamous ones."

that's pretty much what I've posted in defence but been told it's a cult now 😆 but did realise that any data would be flawed due to most people never saying they are swingers etc ... and people tend to shout loudest when it's going wrong.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
23 weeks ago

Central

There's not an awful lot. Here's a bit I came across

Attitudes and experiences of swinging couples. Wilt, Harrison, Michael 2018

There was a review of the literature, quite a long time ago 1999

Swinging: A Review of the Literature The Archives of Sexual Behavior. Jenks. 1999

Often you'll get to find more, once you read and search. This largely seems qualitative research type. I've not cited in any standardised format, just posted notes.

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By *ittleMissCali_MrDJ OP   Couple
23 weeks ago

wonderland.

Think because pretty much all my friends are swingers, and most of my family accept my quirks ( as they put it) i forget how anti the world can be about somethings. Guess that's because I'm used to being surrounded by open minded people that whilst some wouldn't be anything but monogamous, they are prepared to accept that other things work for others.

Perhaps I am a bit naive at times when it comes to how others will react x

Cali

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By *eoBloomsMan
23 weeks ago

Springfield

92% seems high but isn't it obvious that more 'open' or flexible relationship have shorter life spans than monogamous ones, and isn't that kind of the point ?

The poly people I've come across are constantly in relationship flux and it seems to attract people with some insecurities/attachment issues.

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By *antasticMrFucks07Man
23 weeks ago

plymouth


"Been arguing in defence of swinging relationships on a popular social media platform and realised when I'm trying to defend it... that there is very little actual data available and what is around states that 92% or poly ( which i know is different from swinging) and non monogamous marriages fail..now in my experience this seems very flawed data

Now my theory on this is that many keep it very private so until the relationship breaks down.. no one was aware it was a relationship/ marriage of this type..

Also the data suggesting swinging breaks up relationships ( again something I strongly disagree with, but accept that if a couple use it to try and fix an already strained relationship, it's not going to be healthy)

So does anyone have any good research data..... as its a bit hard to argue that swinging can be healthy as couples talk more etc when Google tells people that 92% of these couples fail..

Does anyone else feel the data is just lacking due to most swingers or non monogamous couples keeping it to themselves.. therefore to the outside people think they are a vanilla couple??

Or any other ideas

I did find a research paper from Houston Texas but it didn't cite any of its sources for data.

Thanks

Cali

Arguing that swinging can be healthy relies on a few key points: communication, relationship satisfaction, trust, and personal fulfillment. Research on consensual non-monogamy (CNM), including swinging, supports the idea that it can contribute to a strong and fulfilling relationship—when approached in a healthy way.

1. Communication & Trust

One of the biggest advantages of swinging is that it forces open and honest communication between partners. Unlike some traditional monogamous relationships where cheating may occur in secret, swinging requires explicit consent, boundaries, and discussions about desires and expectations.

• Dr. Justin Lehmiller (Kinsey Institute Researcher) found that people in CNM relationships often report higher levels of communication and trust than monogamous couples. In his book Tell Me What You Want, he discusses how non-monogamous individuals tend to have deeper conversations about needs and boundaries.

• Moors et al. (2014) found that individuals in consensually non-monogamous relationships report equal or higher levels of trust and honesty compared to monogamous couples.

2. Relationship Satisfaction

Despite the common stereotype that swinging leads to breakups, research shows that many non-monogamous couples report equal or greater levels of relationship satisfaction compared to monogamous couples.

• A study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior (2017) found that people in CNM relationships report similar levels of commitment and satisfaction as monogamous couples. This contradicts the idea that non-monogamous relationships are inherently unstable.

• Rubin & Adams (1986) conducted one of the earliest studies on swingers and found that many reported high levels of marital satisfaction—often due to the excitement, open communication, and trust required in swinging relationships.

3. Addressing the ‘Swinging Ruins Relationships’ Myth

A common argument against swinging is that it leads to breakups. However, the key factor isn’t swinging itself—it’s the state of the relationship before entering it.

• Study by Vaillant & Zaleski (2014) found that couples who entered non-monogamy with clear communication and a strong emotional foundation had high satisfaction levels. In contrast, those who tried it to “fix” an already strained relationship were more likely to struggle.

• Sheff & Tesene (2015) found that jealousy in non-monogamous relationships is often managed better than in monogamous ones, as partners develop coping strategies and openly discuss boundaries.

4. Psychological Well-Being & Personal Fulfillment

Swinging allows people to explore their sexuality without deception while maintaining a committed relationship.

• Conley et al. (2018) found that individuals in CNM relationships reported lower levels of jealousy and higher levels of sexual satisfaction compared to monogamous individuals.

• The Journal of Sex Research (2020) published findings showing that people engaged in CNM often feel more sexually fulfilled and experience less guilt or shame about their desires compared to those who suppress them in monogamy.

Conclusion: Swinging Can Be Healthy IF…

1. The relationship is built on strong communication and trust.

2. Both partners genuinely want to explore non-monogamy, rather than one pushing the other.

3. Boundaries are discussed and respected.

4. It’s not used as a “fix” for an already struggling relationship.

While research on swinging specifically is still somewhat limited, the broader research on CNM shows strong evidence that non-monogamous relationships can be just as healthy—if not healthier—than traditional monogamous ones. that's pretty much what I've posted in defence but been told it's a cult now 😆 but did realise that any data would be flawed due to most people never saying they are swingers etc ... and people tend to shout loudest when it's going wrong. "

That’s exactly it—the loudest voices are usually the negative ones. People who are happily swinging (or in any form of CNM) generally keep it private, while those who have a bad experience are more likely to talk about it publicly. That skews perception massively.

As for being called a “cult”… that’s just people grasping at straws when they don’t have a solid counterargument. A cult requires coercion and control, while swinging is based on mutual consent, open communication, and personal choice. If anything, monogamy has historically been more socially enforced, while swinging is about people deciding for themselves what works best.

It’s like anything else—if it’s done in a healthy, ethical way, it can be great for those involved. If someone tries it for the wrong reasons or without proper boundaries, of course, it can go wrong. But that’s true of monogamous relationships too!

If anything, the fact that some people react so strongly proves how deeply ingrained traditional relationship models are. The idea that happiness and commitment can exist outside of strict monogamy really challenges some people’s beliefs.

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By *ittleMissCali_MrDJ OP   Couple
23 weeks ago

wonderland.


"92% seems high but isn't it obvious that more 'open' or flexible relationship have shorter life spans than monogamous ones, and isn't that kind of the point ?

The poly people I've come across are constantly in relationship flux and it seems to attract people with some insecurities/attachment issues."

I'd say that your less likely to split in an open or non monogamous relationship. I do think poly changes things a little though

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