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Learn to say no.

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
22 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.

I listened to something interesting about the importance of learning to say no, they mentioned many things like how it could be seen as a weakness in some circumstances as people could take advantage of ones kindness, they concluded by saying how you could work on it, by setting boundaries.

I agree that people can take advantage of ones kindness if one dont learn to say no. I think that the reason why so many say yes rather than no, is more to do with how people like to please others and is a people pleaser, because they get the buzz when doing something nice for someone else. I dont think that is a weakness at all, but of course not all the time, there should be some kind of middle ground of it.

What is your view of it, is it important to learn to say no, do you find it easy to say no?

I would say that I say no more times than I say yes to someone

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By *iss DevilWoman
22 weeks ago

Bedford

Yes, it is very important to be assertive, despite a lot of people nowadays finding "no" offensive. And I don't mean just on here.

I had to learn to be assertive much more regularly since I started my current job.

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
22 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.


"Yes, it is very important to be assertive, despite a lot of people nowadays finding "no" offensive. And I don't mean just on here.

I had to learn to be assertive much more regularly since I started my current job. "
Hi missdevil, yes, you are right there, it is very important to say no, that is good how you learnt to be assertive more regularly with your new job too

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By *IXEN200Woman
22 weeks ago

newcastle upon tyne

I believe you should teach children from an early age to accept no and being able to say no to anyone

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By *aybeLadyWoman
22 weeks ago

West Dublin

Saying no is very important. Its a boundary which needs to be respected. Saying no means you are prioritising yourself, instead of making ribbons of yourself.

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By *olliecolcolMan
22 weeks ago

Portsmouth/New Milton

You can't have no without clear expectations of yourself, I guess it comes back to the boundaries that were stated in the original post.

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By *emma200Woman
22 weeks ago

Warwickshire


"Saying no is very important. Its a boundary which needs to be respected. Saying no means you are prioritising yourself, instead of making ribbons of yourself. "

This 💛

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
22 weeks ago

Central

Knowing what's right for you and saying no, when something isn't, is right and healthy. It should be the easy option but isn't, when we succumb to the pressure from others. It's like all boundary setting and enforcement, do it for your well-being

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
22 weeks ago

East Sussex

It is important to say no. The inability to isn't kindness though because it isn't always kind to say yes.

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By *ellhungvweMan
22 weeks ago

Cheltenham

Being able to say no is probably the most important skill you can learn. It puts you in control of your life.

If you can say no then a yes means something. A meaningful yes is probably the most important gift you can give some one.

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By *upanovaMan
22 weeks ago

Sheffield


"Saying no is very important. Its a boundary which needs to be respected. Saying no means you are prioritising yourself, instead of making ribbons of yourself. "

100% this. No is one of the most powerful words you can use.

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By *oldyoudown41Man
22 weeks ago

Oxfordshire

It’s always good to have a moral compass within… problem is I then to say no more often than not…

Need to rethink, I think

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By *bi HaiveMan
22 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"Being able to say no is probably the most important skill you can learn. It puts you in control of your life.

If you can say no then a yes means something. A meaningful yes is probably the most important gift you can give some one."

100% this.

I get some folks are people pleasers and it can be difficult for them, but I've seen too many people be taken advantage of over the years because they thought saying no would make them appear rude, cold or uncaring.

It doesn't. Sometimes no is the right answer.

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By *uckurcumMan
22 weeks ago

Bishop Auckland

Sometimes saying 'No' is the kindest thing to do ....it may not be what others want to hear though...

Learnt early on saying 'No' is a way of protecting yourself....whatever the situation.

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By *ineapple_turnoverCouple
22 weeks ago

London

Mrs pineapple is a people pleaser and finds it really really hard to say no to people. It's a small minority but she definitely gets taken advantage of by some

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By *ealitybitesMan
22 weeks ago

Belfast

For the first 40 years of my life I struggled to say no if someone needed help or work done or a lift somewhere but I found it very easy to say no when others were putting pressure on me to drink or smoke or act like a twat.

Then I was ill for 8 months and during that time I was able to reflect on how I was being taken advantage of.

From that point on I was more confident in saying no when it suited me to do so.

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By *kittexMan
22 weeks ago

Liverpool


"I listened to something interesting about the importance of learning to say no, they mentioned many things like how it could be seen as a weakness in some circumstances as people could take advantage of ones kindness, they concluded by saying how you could work on it, by setting boundaries.

I agree that people can take advantage of ones kindness if one dont learn to say no. I think that the reason why so many say yes rather than no, is more to do with how people like to please others and is a people pleaser, because they get the buzz when doing something nice for someone else. I dont think that is a weakness at all, but of course not all the time, there should be some kind of middle ground of it.

What is your view of it, is it important to learn to say no, do you find it easy to say no?

I would say that I say no more times than I say yes to someone "

- Sure, saying no is nothing wrong with that. I also learn as a single male to never pretend much or look like i pretend, coz at the end of the day we all in this together so there will be certainly someone who fancy you, and who isn't really into single males. Sometimes when i visit my own local club i just have drinks, have a laugh and a good time but if it comes to this point and someone is fancy me i treat it like a good bonus for the end of the night. So afcourse saying no to certain situations isn't something wrong

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
22 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly

It’s an essential life skill, which it took me a long time to master. I think it’s really important we teach it to children too. Very often we push children into doing things “because I said so”. I don’t think it equips them particularly well for later life.

Obviously I’m not talking about situations where children would be endangering themselves or others.

Mrs TMN x

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By *eoBloomsMan
22 weeks ago

Springfield


"For the first 40 years of my life I struggled to say no if someone needed help or work done or a lift somewhere but I found it very easy to say no when others were putting pressure on me to drink or smoke or act like a twat.

Then I was ill for 8 months and during that time I was able to reflect on how I was being taken advantage of.

From that point on I was more confident in saying no when it suited me to do so."

💪

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By *estructionDollyWoman
22 weeks ago

The Deep Dark Woods

I'm a big people pleaser and find it hard to say no which frustrates me, and I do feel taken advantage of at times. I've tried to be better recently and say no when I need to but it is difficult. I always feel guilty after saying no.

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By *eoBloomsMan
22 weeks ago

Springfield

Saying 'no' is very important, but it can also be a habit that reinforces a negative outlook. Dont be afraid to say 'Yes' to new experiences.

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By *upanovaMan
22 weeks ago

Sheffield

There are also ways to say no, it really is an art. Not a thing I have mastered! But I know people who are taken advantage of, often because they seek that self gratification of helping someone.

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
22 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.


"I believe you should teach children from an early age to accept no and being able to say no to anyone "
Hi vixen, yes, you are right there, teaching children from an early age about it is important too

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By *estinyIsAllCouple
22 weeks ago

Walton

As someone else above has said (apologies, I didn't note your name), I'm also a people pleaser and struggle to say no. However, in this environment, I have no issue with it. I'm not having regrets. Anything I do is on my terms and if that isn't acceptable I'll find someone else who thinks it is.

I sound quite bitchy there, I promise I'm not. 😂🤷🏼‍♀️

F x

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
22 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.


"You can't have no without clear expectations of yourself, I guess it comes back to the boundaries that were stated in the original post."
Yes, it comes back to the boundaries too

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By *inkShyWoman
22 weeks ago

near Windsor

I had to set boundaries for a lot of people in my life, and they didn't like it. I'd try and explain my reasoning, I would feel like I was making excuses rather than explaining. Now, the majority of the time, I go by " 'No.' is a full sentence" and I don't feel the need to explain.

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By *ansoffateMan
22 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

I take great delight in pleasing people I care about.

I don't really have an issue saying no, but I will take the path of least resistance. Sometimes saying no is more hassle than just doing it.

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By *obilebottomMan
22 weeks ago

All over

I would not say yes or no at whim. It will be because it is the right thing to do at the time. Sometimes saying no to someone in need can have devastating consquences. At the same time self care is also important too.

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
22 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.


"It is important to say no. The inability to isn't kindness though because it isn't always kind to say yes. "
Hi nicecouple, yes, you are right there, it is important to say no too

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
22 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.


"For the first 40 years of my life I struggled to say no if someone needed help or work done or a lift somewhere but I found it very easy to say no when others were putting pressure on me to drink or smoke or act like a twat.

Then I was ill for 8 months and during that time I was able to reflect on how I was being taken advantage of.

From that point on I was more confident in saying no when it suited me to do so."
That is good you was more confined in saying no from that point too

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
22 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.


"Saying no is very important. Its a boundary which needs to be respected. Saying no means you are prioritising yourself, instead of making ribbons of yourself. "
Hi _aybelady, yes, you are right there, saying no is very important, yes, its a boundary which needs to be respected

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