FabSwingers.com forum: If your pet could talk

By *ello OP Woman
4 days ago

alpha centauri

If your pet could talk what would their top complaint about you be?

My cats would probably moan about me farting against them when they snuggle in behind me

. Honestly I don't do it on purpose it just pops out.

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By *ositiveVibesWoman
4 days ago

here there and everywhere

Mine would complain that I keep chucking him to the bottom of the bed at 4am when he sits on my face 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

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By *ensuallover1000Man
4 days ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

My pooch would doubtless complain that I don’t feed her donuts and the like.

It’s for her own good but I’m sure she’d cite that her own food is comparatively boring.

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By *eoBloomsMan
4 days ago

Springfield

I had their balls cut off.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
4 days ago

Reading

Kicking them at night.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
4 days ago

Reading

"I had their balls cut off.

Oh God that too.

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By *ello OP Woman
4 days ago

alpha centauri

"I had their balls cut off.

Oh that wouldn't be a fun conversation

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By *an8iMan
4 days ago

Bilston

The one dog would moan about me pushing him out the bed and the older dog would moan I don't pick her up quick enough to help her on the bed

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By *amie HantsWoman
4 days ago

Atlantis

The cat would complain that he’s never fed, I abandon him for years at a time when I have a shower and I’m too needy when I stroke him everytime he jumps on my lap.

The dog would have no complaints. She only knows good vibes.

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By *r.and.Mrs.DSCouple
4 days ago

N. Wales

"She kicked me again!"

I don't kick cats btw, don't worry! All 3 of our cats look at me in judgement, when THEY'VE just almost killed ME on the way downstairs. Or because they've weaved through my legs as I'm walking, tripping me up

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By *eltCuteMightDeleteWoman
4 days ago

Reading

I don’t think my dog would complain at me. Just be slightly disappointed in me that I don’t keep to his strict timetable.

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By *rank FurilloMan
4 days ago

Coventry

I leave the room without permission leaving him having to track me down I get woo woo barks when he rescues me.

That and not off lead enough when out, the above doesn't apply outdoors.

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By *ortney FoxxxWoman
4 days ago

cardiff

I wish my mammy would stop singing to me

I hate it

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By *eyond PurityCouple
4 days ago

York

Our Sproodle would be questioning why she has to sleep in the kitchen and doesn’t get to eat off our plates, when she’s at home, when she goes the doggy sitter and she gets to sleep in a bed and do what she wants 🤷🏻‍♂️

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By *zeroMan
4 days ago

Glasgow

"I dunno man I try and lick you all the time but you never try and lick me back"

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By *exyScientistsCouple
4 days ago

Castlebar

My poor neglected dog 🐕 She would complain that I don't give her enough attention. She pushes my phone out of my hand if I won't stroke her...

Thanks really all she wants 🥰

When I have a day off I make sure to spoil her

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By *inkShyWoman
4 days ago

near Windsor

"I don't know what your problem is. I bring the mouse, you refuse to keep the mouse. Every. Damn. Time. Anyway, haven't been fed for a hour. Sort it out. I'm going to sit on your face and knead my claws on your chest. Object, and you get bitten, okay?"

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
4 days ago

Carlisle usually

Insufficient fashion supply. The absolute audacity of making her wear things a second time instead of a brand new jumper every day.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
4 days ago

East Sussex

Constantly sitting in 'their' chair

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By *naswingdressWoman
4 days ago

Manchester (she/her)

Not my dog, but a family member's dog is so abused. So neglected.

When it's dark outside the family disappear. They leave her until it's light enough.

There are shadows out there. Possibly monsters, we're not sure. This dog is terrified but wants to make sure no one else is hurt.

It would be nice to communicate this, rather than patrolling and barking to get help at 3am.

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By *ools and the brainCouple
4 days ago

couple, us we him her.

I fart too much.

She just gets all snuggled up cozy between my legs then " parppp" sorry kitty.

She usually gets up gives me a filthy look goes sits on the other side of the sofa for ten minutes then comes back.

Repeat.....

Mr farty pants

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By *ildo_swagginsthe3rdWoman
4 days ago

Wales

When I want a lie in at the weekend.

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By *andaloriansCouple
3 days ago

Malvern

Our dog and 3 cats would most definatelly complain about when they are evicted from the bed so we can indulge in carnal activities. They always seem pissed off after!

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By *orphia2003Woman
3 days ago

Tonypandy.

The fat food provider is neglecting me. We only have 8 wet food options, 2 choices of dry kibble, 4 flavours of dreamies, 2 choices of lick-stick and frozen sprats.

She also didn't stroke me in the correct spot for exactly 24.5 seconds, and she moved me from my favourite napping spot on top of the fireplace.

Small treat provider had the audacity to give me a wash after I jumped off the window, landed in her breakfast and got covered in jam.

I'm being neglected you know.

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By *oni44Man
15 hours ago

Bordon

I would had to kill mine, or send him to Romania.

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By *ikesEmBigMan
15 hours ago

Herts

"If your pet could talk what would their top complaint about you be?

My cats would probably moan about me farting against them when they snuggle in behind me

. Honestly I don't do it on purpose it just pops out.

"
My dog would definitely frown about my masturbating. Tbf she shouldn't be looking

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By *929Man
15 hours ago

northumberland

Cleaning his eyes, he hates them cleaned but I feel the need too every time he’s got sleep in them

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By *ad NannaWoman
15 hours ago

East London

You don't feed us enough.

Then they would ring up the local kebab shop and order a large doner each-hold the chilli sauce-and the fat bitch is paying.

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By *tephenAndHisPicklenicMan
14 hours ago

Ends

My cats would complain about me walking into rooms where they’re sleeping and suddenly starting to rap

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By *iguy8919Man
14 hours ago

Thetford

My dog would complain that I don't let her out in the garden to dig big holes every five minutes and then I am the one who has to go out and fill them all in.

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By *sWyldWoman
13 hours ago

Edinburgh

My dogs only complaint is trips to the vet for check ups. She's the most happy and loving soul. Plus she loves me

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By *lofeldMan
6 hours ago

Redhill

My cat would tell me that I'm banned from leaving the house, as his valet service is supposed to be 24/7

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By *carlettsWoman
6 hours ago

Harpenden

Not enough treats although that is definately not the case, not enough tickles lie and not enough walks false

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By *allwirral995Man
6 hours ago

wirral

That someone else is getting attention and not her lol

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