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James Bond: A Practical Question.

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By *eroLondon OP   Man
22 weeks ago

Covent Garden

This James Bond fellow. He's a civil servant, a regular employee , on the payroll.

My question is: when does he do his expenses, claim petty cash and claim his allowances.

How on earth can he be expected to keep receipts when he's all over the place, booking hotels on a whim, car rentals, new suits, food, refreshments, flights, toothpaste and other incidental expenses?

This is just my ''coming to the end of half term'' musings and ponderings.

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By *eoBloomsMan
22 weeks ago

Springfield

He's got a licence to kill, not a licence to bill !

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By *eroLondon OP   Man
22 weeks ago

Covent Garden


"He's got a licence to kill, not a licence to bill ! "

·

And a licence to maim but not a licence to claim?

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By *eoBloomsMan
22 weeks ago

Springfield


"He's got a licence to kill, not a licence to bill !

·

And a licence to maim but not a licence to claim?"

🤣

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By *amantha_NiteTV/TS
22 weeks ago

The Lake District

Probably got a company credit card

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By *eoBloomsMan
22 weeks ago

Springfield

'And what is this one Bond - 27 prophylactics in Guatemala ?'

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By *J swingCouple
22 weeks ago

North


"This James Bond fellow. He's a civil servant, a regular employee , on the payroll.

My question is: when does he do his expenses, claim petty cash and claim his allowances.

How on earth can he be expected to keep receipts when he's all over the place, booking hotels on a whim, car rentals, new suits, food, refreshments, flights, toothpaste and other incidental expenses?

This is just my ''coming to the end of half term'' musings and ponderings."

He has a smart phone remember

He controlled his car with it so must have Google pay

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By *estructionDollyWoman
22 weeks ago

The Deep Dark Woods

When does he ever sleep or go to the toilet is what I want to know.

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By *ife NinjaMan
22 weeks ago

Dunfermline

Moneypenny does it all for him 👍🤓

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago


"This James Bond fellow. He's a civil servant, a regular employee , on the payroll.

My question is: when does he do his expenses, claim petty cash and claim his allowances.

How on earth can he be expected to keep receipts when he's all over the place, booking hotels on a whim, car rentals, new suits, food, refreshments, flights, toothpaste and other incidental expenses?

This is just my ''coming to the end of half term'' musings and ponderings."

Have you ever watched Archer?

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By *abioMan
22 weeks ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"This James Bond fellow. He's a civil servant, a regular employee , on the payroll.

My question is: when does he do his expenses, claim petty cash and claim his allowances.

How on earth can he be expected to keep receipts when he's all over the place, booking hotels on a whim, car rentals, new suits, food, refreshments, flights, toothpaste and other incidental expenses?

This is just my ''coming to the end of half term'' musings and ponderings."

He can either organise his travels through the department, otherwise if he is organising his own he would need to keep the receipts (if he is booking the travel online then the emails would be sufficient)

Good news for mr bond is that he also gets a “food allowance “ but it doesn’t include alcoholic beverages.. so he will have to pay for his own martinis

Yours…. HR and the “travel department “

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
22 weeks ago

Central

They've got advanced secret tech that we could only dream of. It'll take no time or effort on his part.

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By *exxyyDy11Man
22 weeks ago

North West

What happened to 006 and 008?

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By *lynJMan
22 weeks ago

Morden


"What happened to 006 and 008?"

Wasn't 006 played by Sean Bean in Goldeneye?

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By *icolerobbieCouple
22 weeks ago

walsall


"What happened to 006 and 008?"

Got fired for fiddling their expenses

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By *iFruityCoupleCouple
22 weeks ago

Watermouth

First he is a naval Commander not a civil servant.

Second expenses are a little more liberal in his kind of work, alot of it is cash.

In the modern world credit cards are easy to track.

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
22 weeks ago

BRIDPORT


"What happened to 006 and 008?"

006 was killed by colonel urimov whilst trying to destroy a chemical plant.

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By *iFruityCoupleCouple
22 weeks ago

Watermouth


"This James Bond fellow. He's a civil servant, a regular employee , on the payroll.

My question is: when does he do his expenses, claim petty cash and claim his allowances.

How on earth can he be expected to keep receipts when he's all over the place, booking hotels on a whim, car rentals, new suits, food, refreshments, flights, toothpaste and other incidental expenses?

This is just my ''coming to the end of half term'' musings and ponderings.

He can either organise his travels through the department, otherwise if he is organising his own he would need to keep the receipts (if he is booking the travel online then the emails would be sufficient)

Good news for mr bond is that he also gets a “food allowance “ but it doesn’t include alcoholic beverages.. so he will have to pay for his own martinis

Yours…. HR and the “travel department “"

Standard meal allowance would not cover where he eats, and his Hotels would be above the nightly allowance, if he was a civil servant.

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By *iFruityCoupleCouple
22 weeks ago

Watermouth


"What happened to 006 and 008?

006 was killed by colonel urimov whilst trying to destroy a chemical plant. "

That is what the records say, but he defected and was replaced with a new 006.

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By *a LunaWoman
22 weeks ago

o o OO o o

Bond: “I’ll have a vodka martini, shaken not stirred”

Barkeep: “Would you like the receipt?”

Doesn’t quite sound as sexy

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By *ony MannMan
22 weeks ago

South Newton


"Bond: “I’ll have a vodka martini, shaken not stirred”

Barkeep: “Would you like the receipt?”

Doesn’t quite sound as sexy "

Yes, please, I need it for M

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
22 weeks ago

in Lancashire


"He's got a licence to kill, not a licence to bill ! "

Kill bill or bill after a kill..?

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By *zeroMan
22 weeks ago

Glasgow

In the new films he won't have to worry about picking any minor things up. There will be a brief scene of M explaining to him that MI6 have gotten him an Amazon Prime membership for all his needs.

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By *eroLondon OP   Man
22 weeks ago

Covent Garden

These responses are all quite amusing for my musings. Thank you.

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

Why don't the bad guys just shoot him when they can?

I mean they get multiple chances. But instead when they capture him, they like to wine and dine him...and then hook him up to some elaborate machine (to give him a snail paced demise)...which he's bound to escape from..

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By *ealitybitesMan
22 weeks ago

Belfast

Q division provides him with a watch that uploads all his transactions directly to HMRC.

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By *eroLondon OP   Man
22 weeks ago

Covent Garden


"Why don't the bad guys just shoot him when they can?

I mean they get multiple chances. But instead when they capture him, they like to wine and dine him..."

·

That comes under "gifts and hospitality" in my company, and it has to be declared with your line manager. I think the limit it £30. That wouldn't even cover the Beluga Caviar.

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By *lan157Man
22 weeks ago

a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex

He will get given credit cards in his cover name ,to be seen on screen ,to advertise the credit card company.

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By *elix SightedMan
22 weeks ago

Cloud 8

No British government department would ever cover his lifestyle. Remember he wipes the floor with rich megalomaniacs at baccarat and wins many dinari. He probably can’t be arsed with claiming his £28.66pn meal allowance and making sure he only fills up the Aston at a garage that takes All Star cards.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
22 weeks ago

North West


"He's got a licence to kill, not a licence to bill ! "

Is that what the documentary "Kill Bill" is about?

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By *riar BelisseWoman
22 weeks ago

Holibobs

He has his 'International Exports' credit card and his gambling winnings are non declared petty cash

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By *eoBloomsMan
22 weeks ago

Springfield

You Only Claim Twice

Dr No Receipt

Taxes are Forever

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
22 weeks ago

in Lancashire


"You Only Claim Twice

Dr No Receipt

Taxes are Forever

"

Diamonds ain't going on the expenses for ever..

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By *ark.aitkenMan
22 weeks ago

Newcastle

Rather strangely he never goes to the toilet either (unless it is to kill someone)

"Moneypenny, send in Commander Bond". "Yes Sir, as soon as he's off the toilet".

"You expect me to talk Goldfinger?". "No Mr Bond, I expect you to have a healthy bowel movement at least once in every 24 hours".

Some things, like claiming expensed, just don't make for great cinema lol....

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By *eoBloomsMan
22 weeks ago

Springfield


"You Only Claim Twice

Dr No Receipt

Taxes are Forever

Diamonds ain't going on the expenses for ever.."

The Personal Allowance is not Enough ?

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By *ark.aitkenMan
22 weeks ago

Newcastle


"You Only Claim Twice

Dr No Receipt

Taxes are Forever

Diamonds ain't going on the expenses for ever.."

Quantum of Expenses.

No time to claim (expenses)

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By *elix SightedMan
22 weeks ago

Cloud 8

I’ve just sussed it - he won the Thunderball.

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By *ark.aitkenMan
22 weeks ago

Newcastle


"I’ve just sussed it - he won the Thunderball."

....and we have a winner 🏆

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

He’s funded by a subsidiary of Universal Exports, with monies from the laundered proceeds of a fronting business that deals in pickled whelks, based in Margate.

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

"Dearest M. I've just bought ten new designer suits, enjoyed numerous cocktails and beaten the bloke you think is a villain at poker. (he's actually a really nice guy) Anyhoo, off to bed now with the hot barmaid. Toodles, catch up later."

Bond

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
22 weeks ago

in Lancashire


"I’ve just sussed it - he won the Thunderball."

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