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By *ilybeth OP   Woman
24 weeks ago

Leeds

Why does anyone think they are entitled to a reply? Most women are bombarded with messages on here. I neither want to, nor have the time to talk to everyone. We can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, that’s a fact of life. I titled my post single men as they are the ones that tend to continue to message, usually something like ‘hi’ or ‘_ello’ even when they haven’t had a reply. One ‘man’ just messaged me ‘hi’ for the third time then called me a very delightful word when I once again didn’t reply. I have reported him, but I wish we could name and shame those who can’t behave!

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By *es not the MessiahMan
24 weeks ago

3rd rock from the sun

I don't

I'd rather you deleted it then blocked me

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By *orkshirebear74Man
24 weeks ago

Sheffield

I would hazard a guess as the reason been 'they don't have a clue what they are doing on this platform or in life'

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By *ittleMissCali_MrDJCouple
24 weeks ago

wonderland.

Why not just set filters... I take time to reply to all messages as long as not one word messages on my singles and the couples profile.

But my singles is a very manageable amount as I set my filters as I'm not looking to meet from my singles account

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By *issolvedOrdersMan
24 weeks ago

Bristol

No one is entitled to anything from anyone.. be bold and try by all means, but accept no for an answer in whatever form it comes

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By *ilybeth OP   Woman
24 weeks ago

Leeds

[Removed by poster at 19/02/25 23:31:02]

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By *ilybeth OP   Woman
24 weeks ago

Leeds


"No one is entitled to anything from anyone.. be bold and try by all means, but accept no for an answer in whatever form it comes "

Absolutely!

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By *ilybeth OP   Woman
24 weeks ago

Leeds


"Why not just set filters... I take time to reply to all messages as long as not one word messages on my singles and the couples profile.

But my singles is a very manageable amount as I set my filters as I'm not looking to meet from my singles account "

What kind of filters? He was in my age range but just not for me

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By *ilybeth OP   Woman
24 weeks ago

Leeds


"Why not just set filters... I take time to reply to all messages as long as not one word messages on my singles and the couples profile.

But my singles is a very manageable amount as I set my filters as I'm not looking to meet from my singles account

What kind of filters? He was in my age range but just not for me "

And yes he only sent one word

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By *ilybeth OP   Woman
24 weeks ago

Leeds


"I don't

I'd rather you deleted it then blocked me "

I delete the message but I only block once they repeatedly message

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By *ittleMissCali_MrDJCouple
24 weeks ago

wonderland.


"Why not just set filters... I take time to reply to all messages as long as not one word messages on my singles and the couples profile.

But my singles is a very manageable amount as I set my filters as I'm not looking to meet from my singles account

What kind of filters? He was in my age range but just not for me "
you can block guys from messaging you... but can normally see whose looked at you... then go and message the ones you like from there

.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
24 weeks ago

little house on the praire


"Why not just set filters... I take time to reply to all messages as long as not one word messages on my singles and the couples profile.

But my singles is a very manageable amount as I set my filters as I'm not looking to meet from my singles account

What kind of filters? He was in my age range but just not for me

j

And yes he only sent one word "
just set your filtere

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By *naswingdressWoman
24 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

I think, if you have open filters as a woman (at all), there's a certain amount of this that comes with the territory.

My filters are locked down tight at the moment, but my rule is always, if you can't take no for an answer (which I define as more than one message without reply in a week), then I block you.

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By *nDeexXxCouple
24 weeks ago

Rossendale

I have a single profile as well and understand from both sides. We all have choices and time constraints.

Try to respond to all messages on this profile even with a mo thanks but you can't do them all...

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By *naswingdressWoman
24 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

Also, as someone who's now spent the majority of my years on Fab with my filters locked tight (you can't message me if you're male, female, trans, or a couple of any description - yes, that is everybody), I will say... there are so few profiles I want to message. It's really dire

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By *es not the MessiahMan
24 weeks ago

3rd rock from the sun


"I don't

I'd rather you deleted it then blocked me

I delete the message but I only block once they repeatedly message "

4 messages on there way

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago


"Why does anyone think they are entitled to a reply? Most women are bombarded with messages on here. I neither want to, nor have the time to talk to everyone. We can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, that’s a fact of life. I titled my post single men as they are the ones that tend to continue to message, usually something like ‘hi’ or ‘_ello’ even when they haven’t had a reply. One ‘man’ just messaged me ‘hi’ for the third time then called me a very delightful word when I once again didn’t reply. I have reported him, but I wish we could name and shame those who can’t behave! "

What shocked me was the absolute volume you ladies receive, speaking to a female friend who is on here she regularly has shown me, she has been polite/crystal clear on profile and yet still fellas don't listen.

Fully understand, must be a nightmare!

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By *arleycplWoman
24 weeks ago

Leyburn

[Removed by poster at 19/02/25 23:48:29]

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By *neeyedwillieMan
24 weeks ago

Darlington

I'm not single. Just my single profile.

I treat fab the same way I treat clubs and how I would like my wife to be treated (if she met guys..she does not).

I make a respectful approach, if there's no interest...im on my merry way.

See...i understand that women on here are blasted with mesaages.

You get all the attention. If my attention isn't reciprocated, I'm gone. That's just how it works. I see no point in chasing any messages up. No response is a response.

The downside to that though is I have spoken with women at socials who I'd previously messaged on here (quite a while ago now and at the time I didn't even know i had...not everyone shows their face) just to be asked "why did you stop messaging?".

So yeah...i understand you ladies deal with some clowns but guys also need to realise they are competing with who knows how many others on here and ultimetly...youre owed nothing. Pick wisely, message carefully and play the game accordingly.

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By *naswingdressWoman
24 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Why does anyone think they are entitled to a reply? Most women are bombarded with messages on here. I neither want to, nor have the time to talk to everyone. We can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, that’s a fact of life. I titled my post single men as they are the ones that tend to continue to message, usually something like ‘hi’ or ‘_ello’ even when they haven’t had a reply. One ‘man’ just messaged me ‘hi’ for the third time then called me a very delightful word when I once again didn’t reply. I have reported him, but I wish we could name and shame those who can’t behave!

What shocked me was the absolute volume you ladies receive, speaking to a female friend who is on here she regularly has shown me, she has been polite/crystal clear on profile and yet still fellas don't listen.

Fully understand, must be a nightmare!"

To paraphrase a message I've received many times here (no specific message, more a genre)

"I aint dun no reedin. aint skool luv"

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By *exxyyDy11Man
24 weeks ago

North West

You're not the first woman who has had idiotic messages from single blokes and you won't be the last. My advice, put your filters up to limit single guys from messaging you. And only message single guys whose profile interests you.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
24 weeks ago

little house on the praire

I've never had a problem on here I wonder why that is

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By *ilybeth OP   Woman
24 weeks ago

Leeds


"Why not just set filters... I take time to reply to all messages as long as not one word messages on my singles and the couples profile.

But my singles is a very manageable amount as I set my filters as I'm not looking to meet from my singles account

What kind of filters? He was in my age range but just not for me you can block guys from messaging you... but can normally see whose looked at you... then go and message the ones you like from there

. "

I don’t pay so I can’t see who’s looked at me

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By *oobieTrapWoman
24 weeks ago

london


"Why does anyone think they are entitled to a reply? Most women are bombarded with messages on here. I neither want to, nor have the time to talk to everyone. We can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, that’s a fact of life. I titled my post single men as they are the ones that tend to continue to message, usually something like ‘hi’ or ‘_ello’ even when they haven’t had a reply. One ‘man’ just messaged me ‘hi’ for the third time then called me a very delightful word when I once again didn’t reply. I have reported him, but I wish we could name and shame those who can’t behave! "

They put zero effort into the message “hi how r u” or “how was your day” and you receive that same message from hundreds of men over and over again constantly. No effort no reply right, but then you get the ofd psycho that just messages and messages and messages with no reply. I don’t get it.

Men clearly think they are entitled to a reply and entitled to sex!

The funny thing this those same men will complain the site is full of time wasters without realising they’re the time waster

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By *elvet RopeMan
24 weeks ago

by the big field

Equally, i've seen numerous examples of women complaining about cut and paste messages, seemingly wanting a hand crafted, personalised declaration of enchantment, hand delivered by smiling racoons and written on ancient parchment with unicorn tears- which they then don't read due to 'lack of time', but five minutes later are on the forum or status update bemoaning the lack of decent men in their inbox.

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By *oobieTrapWoman
24 weeks ago

london


"Equally, i've seen numerous examples of women complaining about cut and paste messages, seemingly wanting a hand crafted, personalised declaration of enchantment, hand delivered by smiling racoons and written on ancient parchment with unicorn tears- which they then don't read due to 'lack of time', but five minutes later are on the forum or status update bemoaning the lack of decent men in their inbox. "

I think most of us would just settle for someone that had actually read our profiles before contacting!

And the filters are so basic you can’t filter off people who are a turn off - whilst most men just want a fanny and a woman that’s breathing (some I suspect wouldn’t even care about the latter)

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By *naswingdressWoman
24 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Equally, i've seen numerous examples of women complaining about cut and paste messages, seemingly wanting a hand crafted, personalised declaration of enchantment, hand delivered by smiling racoons and written on ancient parchment with unicorn tears- which they then don't read due to 'lack of time', but five minutes later are on the forum or status update bemoaning the lack of decent men in their inbox. "

I'd like evidence that the people messaging me view me as more than a warmed up fleshlight. Like, the pulse is an added bonus but not necessary. Sorry not sorry if that's upsetting.

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By *ayronfeetMan
24 weeks ago

Cardiff

Its definitely a respect game on here. Most find it hard which spoils it for the rest of us.

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By *ucka39Man
24 weeks ago

Newcastle

Easy way if it doesn't interest you just block makes your life easier on this rather than receive either an insult or having to explain and it helps to create your own platform of people like minded

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago


"Why does anyone think they are entitled to a reply? Most women are bombarded with messages on here. I neither want to, nor have the time to talk to everyone. We can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, that’s a fact of life. I titled my post single men as they are the ones that tend to continue to message, usually something like ‘hi’ or ‘_ello’ even when they haven’t had a reply. One ‘man’ just messaged me ‘hi’ for the third time then called me a very delightful word when I once again didn’t reply. I have reported him, but I wish we could name and shame those who can’t behave! "

True your not my cup of tea.

Im scared shirtless of shadows

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By *oobieTrapWoman
24 weeks ago

london


"Easy way if it doesn't interest you just block makes your life easier on this rather than receive either an insult or having to explain and it helps to create your own platform of people like minded "

Why should it get to the stage that we need to block? Why are many men so oblivious to their harassment?

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By *eroLondonMan
24 weeks ago

Covent Garden

There is no denying it that women are faced with burgeoning inboxes, unimaginative messages which lack any substance and men refusing to take no for answer.

Whilst the volumes don't compare I find from personal experience (some) women are no different: monosyllabic introductions, capricious behaviour and their desire to attach photographs of their quims!

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By *naswingdressWoman
24 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)


"There is no denying it that women are faced with burgeoning inboxes, unimaginative messages which lack any substance and men refusing to take no for answer.

Whilst the volumes don't compare I find from personal experience (some) women are no different: monosyllabic introductions, capricious behaviour and their desire to attach photographs of their quims!"

I said I was sorry.

You haven't apologised for insulting my cervix, though

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By *edbiker66Man
24 weeks ago

Scarborough


"Why does anyone think they are entitled to a reply? Most women are bombarded with messages on here. I neither want to, nor have the time to talk to everyone. We can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, that’s a fact of life. I titled my post single men as they are the ones that tend to continue to message, usually something like ‘hi’ or ‘_ello’ even when they haven’t had a reply. One ‘man’ just messaged me ‘hi’ for the third time then called me a very delightful word when I once again didn’t reply. I have reported him, but I wish we could name and shame those who can’t behave! "
if I don’t receive a response I leave it at that,as I understand if you don’t get a reply it’s because they are not interested so no point being rude and respect the other persons decision,

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By *ittleBoPeepingWoman
24 weeks ago

Galway, Clare

There are plenty of filters to prevent unwanted messages. A lot of women don't bother with these because then they get to say how many hundreds of messages they have when threads like this appear. Nobody cares.

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

Just block EVERYONE from messaging you. Then you get to choose who YOU want to message.

Fab’s a piece of piss.

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By *ootyfruityCouple
24 weeks ago

andover

There are so many rude, crude, disrespectful single guys, that don’t bother looking passed the photos. Unfortunately it ruins the experience for the few decent guys on here.

Wifey has setup her own account, within minutes she’s bombarded with unsavoury messages

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By *enSiskoMan
24 weeks ago

Cestus 3

The issue is ..... no filters.... no instant block.... then here to say I am getting so many messages.

Because I see this kind of thread and the is my profile ok... why am I not getting meets etc.

Made me not want to message anyone and I haven't.

Instead I open my door and go out and meet women that way.

Why single men trawl through here when so better is outside is baffling to me, but that's me confident enough to talk to people in the real world.

But maybe that's because I have left social media years ago and kept my social skills.

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By *allipygousMan
24 weeks ago

Leicester

Single woman's profile with no pics and profile text with a list of wants and not saying what they can bring to the table vs single man's profile with no pics and profile text with a list of wants and not saying what they can bring to the table.

One inundated with with replies, the other not. My point? None.

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By *elvet RopeMan
24 weeks ago

by the big field


"Equally, i've seen numerous examples of women complaining about cut and paste messages, seemingly wanting a hand crafted, personalised declaration of enchantment, hand delivered by smiling racoons and written on ancient parchment with unicorn tears- which they then don't read due to 'lack of time', but five minutes later are on the forum or status update bemoaning the lack of decent men in their inbox.

I'd like evidence that the people messaging me view me as more than a warmed up fleshlight. Like, the pulse is an added bonus but not necessary. Sorry not sorry if that's upsetting."

Many probably do, just like many women and couples see men as an easily obtainable commodity they can treat like shit as another one will be along in a second.

Unfortunately, this has long stopped being a swinging community and has just become yet another free for all meat market and a vicious circle of shoddy behaviour from many on both sides- another of lifes many things that were much better years ago

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By *oughmanMan
24 weeks ago

Sunderland

You don't owe them anything, Least of all a reply. Yeah sure it can be disappointing, maybe even hurt their pride. But they need to grow up and move on.

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By *ife NinjaMan
24 weeks ago

Dunfermline

Find profile I like. Rarely send a message. Forget sending message. Happy if reply is given. Take further if positive. Say no worries if not. I'm not really into the name calling thing 🤓

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
24 weeks ago

Reading

Use your block button. Problem over.

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By *il-widgeMan
24 weeks ago

Stone Staffordshire

As a newly joined single guy who has had "relative success" on here (met a few peopleon here, women and couples). I'm not sure it's rocket science? Just read the profile, do I share some of the same interests, if so, if I like some of their pics, I fab them, and then send an honest respectful message with a couple of pics of me (no know obviously ) and if I get a reply take it from there, no reply then no strop or shitty message to them demanding a reply.

I have had some of the examples of messages ladies and couples have been sent, and it amazes me what goes through blokes heads when they send a message explaining in graphic detail (some not very imaginative ) what they will do, usually with a nob pic or 3 sent, ffs get a life!! Leave us good guys to being nice... x

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago


"Why does anyone think they are entitled to a reply? Most women are bombarded with messages on here. I neither want to, nor have the time to talk to everyone. We can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, that’s a fact of life. I titled my post single men as they are the ones that tend to continue to message, usually something like ‘hi’ or ‘_ello’ even when they haven’t had a reply. One ‘man’ just messaged me ‘hi’ for the third time then called me a very delightful word when I once again didn’t reply. I have reported him, but I wish we could name and shame those who can’t behave! "

Honestly, it still amazes me that people think behaviour like this won’t happen on a site like this.

Then when it does they feel they need to start a thread about it.

My next thread - ‘Water is wet. Who knew?’

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By *lusherCouple
24 weeks ago

bodmin

I guess a single male doesn't know you have recieved 50 dick pix in the last 5min. A lot of frustration will be there since they are never recieving replies!

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By *lusherCouple
24 weeks ago

bodmin

I guess a single male doesn't know you have recieved 50 dick pix in the last 5min. A lot of frustration will be there since they are never recieving replies!

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By *iGuyForCouplesMan
24 weeks ago

Staines

As a single man , I have exactly the same problem with couples. They put a War and Peace style bio on, asking people to send a face pic and no one word messages then they send me a message saying "face?". After politely replying that perhaps they should introduce themselves 1st, I get abuse. Happens literally every week. People on here just act like Neanderthals

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By *ondiego85Man
24 weeks ago

nottingham


"As a single man , I have exactly the same problem with couples. They put a War and Peace style bio on, asking people to send a face pic and no one word messages then they send me a message saying "face?". After politely replying that perhaps they should introduce themselves 1st, I get abuse. Happens literally every week. People on here just act like Neanderthals"

Pretty much this. But not limited to couples

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By *naswingdressWoman
24 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)


"As a single man , I have exactly the same problem with couples. They put a War and Peace style bio on, asking people to send a face pic and no one word messages then they send me a message saying "face?". After politely replying that perhaps they should introduce themselves 1st, I get abuse. Happens literally every week. People on here just act like Neanderthals"

I wouldn't message a profile if I wasn't willing to respect their wishes. They ask for a face picture, you didn't send one. I'm surprised they replied at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

We don’t mind how many messages we get from single men, as long as they understand that it would be impossible to reply to all of them. The thing we do object to is being attacked for being ‘rude’, then told that ‘manners cost nothing’ when we don’t reply.

Filters would not help us because it is single men that we’re looking for. The only thing which would help is members reading the rules and understanding that there aren’t enough hours in the day for couples to reply to all the messages they get. It’s not rudeness and is nothing personal.

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

We very rarely get unwanted messages now our filters are set for age and couples only . But if we like the look of a single guy we can message him it’s so much easier less messages but we don’t get any hassles now

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By *exxyyDy11Man
24 weeks ago

North West


"As a single man , I have exactly the same problem with couples. They put a War and Peace style bio on, asking people to send a face pic and no one word messages then they send me a message saying "face?". After politely replying that perhaps they should introduce themselves 1st, I get abuse. Happens literally every week. People on here just act like Neanderthals

I wouldn't message a profile if I wasn't willing to respect their wishes. They ask for a face picture, you didn't send one. I'm surprised they replied at all."

This... as harsh as it sounds. It just cuts right to the chase doesn't it.

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By *naswingdressWoman
24 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)


"As a single man , I have exactly the same problem with couples. They put a War and Peace style bio on, asking people to send a face pic and no one word messages then they send me a message saying "face?". After politely replying that perhaps they should introduce themselves 1st, I get abuse. Happens literally every week. People on here just act like Neanderthals

I wouldn't message a profile if I wasn't willing to respect their wishes. They ask for a face picture, you didn't send one. I'm surprised they replied at all.

This... as harsh as it sounds. It just cuts right to the chase doesn't it. "

While I've never asked for a face picture at first instance, I do just delete any messages that explicitly ignore my wishes.

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By *hunky GentMan
24 weeks ago

Stamford

This is one big thing I hate about the site.

A spam type box would be ideal - somewhere that the crap could go straight into (I.e. repeat messages, or less than 5 words, or no veris, or no pics, etc).

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By *rHotNottsMan
24 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"Why does anyone think they are entitled to a reply? Most women are bombarded with messages on here. I neither want to, nor have the time to talk to everyone. We can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, that’s a fact of life. I titled my post single men as they are the ones that tend to continue to message, usually something like ‘hi’ or ‘_ello’ even when they haven’t had a reply. One ‘man’ just messaged me ‘hi’ for the third time then called me a very delightful word when I once again didn’t reply. I have reported him, but I wish we could name and shame those who can’t behave! "

If it’s any consolation, but they also do it to us guys as well. Stop whining and just deal with it.

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By *iGuyForCouplesMan
24 weeks ago

Staines

I didn't message them . They massaged me.

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By *bi HaiveMan
24 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Anyone looking for men that struggles or complains about an overly busy inbox or the quality of incoming mail from men has a quick and easy solution at hand that would solve all issues in a millisecond.

Block incoming mail from them.

But then you'd have to browse and make first contact yourself. It would guarantee you're only going to engage with those you find interesting or attractive and prevent a single 'hi' or crude message from landing in your box.

100% effective.

Is it the fact that it requires proactive effort and you doing the legwork that stops more people doing this, because I strongly suspect that's the case. 🤷‍♂️

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By *naswingdressWoman
24 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I didn't message them . They massaged me."

Fair enough. That is rude.

I've had that as a first message. I told him that I suffered a traumatic injury as a child and no longer have a face.

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By *eoBloomsMan
24 weeks ago

Springfield


"I didn't message them . They massaged me."

Obviously rubbed you up the wrong way.

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By *reative-mindMan
24 weeks ago

exeter

Us bloody men.... God we're all the same

For what it's worth as a single bloke who does read profiles, takes time send well wrote message etc etc I get very few replies and to be honest i dont really care either way, more to life than Fab.

I do block someone if any message I send is deleted, I do block that profile mainly as I take that as a no and so I don't bother them again.

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By *rank.blackMan
24 weeks ago

Woolwich


"Equally, i've seen numerous examples of women complaining about cut and paste messages, seemingly wanting a hand crafted, personalised declaration of enchantment, hand delivered by smiling racoons and written on ancient parchment with unicorn tears- which they then don't read due to 'lack of time', but five minutes later are on the forum or status update bemoaning the lack of decent men in their inbox. "

Words of wisdom!

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By *ros40Man
24 weeks ago

Bedford

I wish women would stop sending me naked pics

Said no man ever

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago


"I wish women would stop sending me naked pics

Said no man ever "

Well you wouldn’t want constant nudes from people you don’t know or find attractive?

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By *naswingdressWoman
24 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I wish women would stop sending me naked pics

Said no man ever "

So because some or all men like something, women shouldn't be allowed a preference?

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By *electableicecreamMan
24 weeks ago

The West


"I wish women would stop sending me naked pics

Said no man ever "

The last woman that send me unsolicited gyno shots was blocked without notice.

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago


"Anyone looking for men that struggles or complains about an overly busy inbox or the quality of incoming mail from men has a quick and easy solution at hand that would solve all issues in a millisecond.

Block incoming mail from them.

But then you'd have to browse and make first contact yourself. It would guarantee you're only going to engage with those you find interesting or attractive and prevent a single 'hi' or crude message from landing in your box.

100% effective.

Is it the fact that it requires proactive effort and you doing the legwork that stops more people doing this, because I strongly suspect that's the case. 🤷‍♂️"
definitely a bit of laziness and as much as some like to complain I actually think they love getting lots of messages the way we do it is a lot less messages but we’re only chatting to people that we’re interested in chatting to

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By *upanovaMan
24 weeks ago

Sheffield

I will always read the profile and look at photos and try to pen a message that is respectful, fun, relevant and interesting.

It doesn't always work,some go unread, so get ready but not replied to. If it has been a couple of weeks unread, I try again. Then if no answer I'll forget about it. I have had women reply 3 weeks after original message.

Bombarding with lots of Hi's is pointless. Patience is the key and having a half decent profile yourself with photos!!

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By *upanovaMan
24 weeks ago

Sheffield


"Us bloody men.... God we're all the same

For what it's worth as a single bloke who does read profiles, takes time send well wrote message etc etc I get very few replies and to be honest i dont really care either way, more to life than Fab.

I do block someone if any message I send is deleted, I do block that profile mainly as I take that as a no and so I don't bother them again.

"

I like to your approach. But some women do blanket deletes and then miss the good guys. Their loss I guess.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
24 weeks ago

Reading


"We very rarely get unwanted messages now our filters are set for age and couples only . But if we like the look of a single guy we can message him it’s so much easier less messages but we don’t get any hassles now "

I wish there was a location filter - that would really help me as that's my major sticking point.

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By *ete vfrMan
24 weeks ago

Leeds

Unfortunately in life we all meet ignorant ill mannered people of both sexes. And online in sites like Fab there seems to be far more as they seem to think an adult site gives them entitlement to whatever they want. Being a single man of 66 I am having to fight off the sex crazed women in my full inbox with a big stick (I wish). As my grandparents taught me manners don't cost money.I suggest at the first sign of abuse use the block button.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
24 weeks ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"We very rarely get unwanted messages now our filters are set for age and couples only . But if we like the look of a single guy we can message him it’s so much easier less messages but we don’t get any hassles now

I wish there was a location filter - that would really help me as that's my major sticking point."

I agree, a distance one would be very useful

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By *ealitybitesMan
24 weeks ago

Belfast

I haven't sent an introductory message in 5 years but in all the time I've been here at least a third of all messages received from women and couples have included some form of demand.

I don't mind anyone having specific preferences on their profile but why would anyone feel it's acceptable to send a message to a man you've never spoken to before and without even a hint of small talk, proceed to lecture them and give instructions?

I've been called an idiot, a loser and a waster for not responding positively to messages that simply say, facepic and number now, or lose the beard or you won't get to fuck me.

I've been told it's my loss for not accepting I'm too old and too straight to be here and not agreeing to play bi.

Ignorance and entitlement isn't restricted to single men.

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By *issmorganWoman
24 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

If have blocked long before they got to send me message number 3 tbh.

There are entitled women and couples here too, it's not just men, it's a people thing.

I use a fair few filters to keep my mail low and my life is generally better here for it tbh.

Why not block men for a bit and search for the ones you like the look of.

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

One thing that pisses me off as a single guy, and it comes from couples and single women.

“Must be able to hold a conversation” - If you’re expecting me to do all the work just for you to respond with one or two word answers, I’m going to bin you off and go elsewhere.

🤷‍♂️

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By *reative-mindMan
24 weeks ago

exeter


"Us bloody men.... God we're all the same

For what it's worth as a single bloke who does read profiles, takes time send well wrote message etc etc I get very few replies and to be honest i dont really care either way, more to life than Fab.

I do block someone if any message I send is deleted, I do block that profile mainly as I take that as a no and so I don't bother them again.

I like to your approach. But some women do blanket deletes and then miss the good guys. Their loss I guess. "

Risk you take but is what it is, like them I won't lose any sleep over it (nor should anyone else for that matter).

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By *uttercupWoman
24 weeks ago

Borders

Shout out to single men

I've mainly had lovely respectful messages with no drama. Couples on the other hand

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago


"We very rarely get unwanted messages now our filters are set for age and couples only . But if we like the look of a single guy we can message him it’s so much easier less messages but we don’t get any hassles now

I wish there was a location filter - that would really help me as that's my major sticking point."
a distance filter would be a great addition

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By *endalshaggersCouple
24 weeks ago

Lake District

Distance filters would work so much better for a lot of people..

A friend set up her profile on here and despite being bluntly clear in her bio she won't meet people more than an hour away, or those "staying in your town on business" she still gets messages from males who are either over an hour away or are staying over. She has all the filters set up but because they tick all the filter boxes they can still message.

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By *idNHSMan
24 weeks ago

Walsall

Here are my views on message etiquette – FWIW.

I understand and appreciate that it’s not necessarily possible to reply to every message received, especially if you’re receiving 100’s.

However, if you’ve opened and read the message it is only 1 click to delete it.

If the person isn’t of interest why not just delete the message straight away?

If I see a message I have been sent has been deleted, I take it as a no and then block that person, so I don’t inadvertently message or bother them again.

If I see it has been read but not deleted, I take it as they might be interested but don’t have time to respond there and then or waiting for their partner to read it. If I haven’t received a response after a week or so (and it still hasn’t been deleted) I will possibly send a follow up mail, but never more than 1.

Why would you keep a message from someone you’re not interested in other than to boost your ego?

If you receive abusive messages, I’d block and report – there’s simply no need for that kind of behaviour on here, or indeed in real-life.

What I will say is that the percentage of rude and ignorant people is spread across men, women and couples. It’s just that with there being such a high proportion of men, and couples and women being able to pick and choose they can often come across just as rude and ignorant as men.

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By *hyguyvanilla1978Man
24 weeks ago

Northampton

I have s÷n the same from women on there bio saying if I message you please have decency to reply but if you message me and don't get a response then it's a no

That sounds a bit unfair

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By *cLovin2Man
24 weeks ago

London

I think it's a certain type of men who have typically had a low opinion of women, feel entitled to interactions with women. When faced with rejection they get aggressive, because they feel humiliated. In reality, they're insecure. Unable to come to terms with their own low self esteem.

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By *il-widgeMan
24 weeks ago

Stone Staffordshire


"Here are my views on message etiquette – FWIW.

I understand and appreciate that it’s not necessarily possible to reply to every message received, especially if you’re receiving 100’s.

However, if you’ve opened and read the message it is only 1 click to delete it.

If the person isn’t of interest why not just delete the message straight away?

If I see a message I have been sent has been deleted, I take it as a no and then block that person, so I don’t inadvertently message or bother them again.

If I see it has been read but not deleted, I take it as they might be interested but don’t have time to respond there and then or waiting for their partner to read it. If I haven’t received a response after a week or so (and it still hasn’t been deleted) I will possibly send a follow up mail, but never more than 1.

Why would you keep a message from someone you’re not interested in other than to boost your ego?

If you receive abusive messages, I’d block and report – there’s simply no need for that kind of behaviour on here, or indeed in real-life.

What I will say is that the percentage of rude and ignorant people is spread across men, women and couples. It’s just that with there being such a high proportion of men, and couples and women being able to pick and choose they can often come across just as rude and ignorant as men."

👏👏👏👏👏👏 what a great post, case closed!! 👍👊

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By *ilybeth OP   Woman
24 weeks ago

Leeds


"Equally, i've seen numerous examples of women complaining about cut and paste messages, seemingly wanting a hand crafted, personalised declaration of enchantment, hand delivered by smiling racoons and written on ancient parchment with unicorn tears- which they then don't read due to 'lack of time', but five minutes later are on the forum or status update bemoaning the lack of decent men in their inbox.

I think most of us would just settle for someone that had actually read our profiles before contacting!

And the filters are so basic you can’t filter off people who are a turn off - whilst most men just want a fanny and a woman that’s breathing (some I suspect wouldn’t even care about the latter)

"

Glad someone gets me!

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By *ilybeth OP   Woman
24 weeks ago

Leeds


"Here are my views on message etiquette – FWIW.

I understand and appreciate that it’s not necessarily possible to reply to every message received, especially if you’re receiving 100’s.

However, if you’ve opened and read the message it is only 1 click to delete it.

If the person isn’t of interest why not just delete the message straight away?

If I see a message I have been sent has been deleted, I take it as a no and then block that person, so I don’t inadvertently message or bother them again.

If I see it has been read but not deleted, I take it as they might be interested but don’t have time to respond there and then or waiting for their partner to read it. If I haven’t received a response after a week or so (and it still hasn’t been deleted) I will possibly send a follow up mail, but never more than 1.

Why would you keep a message from someone you’re not interested in other than to boost your ego?

If you receive abusive messages, I’d block and report – there’s simply no need for that kind of behaviour on here, or indeed in real-life.

What I will say is that the percentage of rude and ignorant people is spread across men, women and couples. It’s just that with there being such a high proportion of men, and couples and women being able to pick and choose they can often come across just as rude and ignorant as men.

👏👏👏👏👏👏 what a great post, case closed!! 👍👊"

Why do you assume I keep the messages? I delete straight away yet they still repeatedly message

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By *ilybeth OP   Woman
24 weeks ago

Leeds


"I think it's a certain type of men who have typically had a low opinion of women, feel entitled to interactions with women. When faced with rejection they get aggressive, because they feel humiliated. In reality, they're insecure. Unable to come to terms with their own low self esteem."

Yes!!

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By *parkle1974Woman
24 weeks ago

Leeds

I would so love to screenshot some of the messages I've received and put them on a thread just to show how vile some men are....

Maybe then the ones who complain about not getting replies will see why it doesn't happen x

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By *bi HaiveMan
24 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"Here are my views on message etiquette – FWIW.

I understand and appreciate that it’s not necessarily possible to reply to every message received, especially if you’re receiving 100’s.

However, if you’ve opened and read the message it is only 1 click to delete it.

If the person isn’t of interest why not just delete the message straight away?

If I see a message I have been sent has been deleted, I take it as a no and then block that person, so I don’t inadvertently message or bother them again.

If I see it has been read but not deleted, I take it as they might be interested but don’t have time to respond there and then or waiting for their partner to read it. If I haven’t received a response after a week or so (and it still hasn’t been deleted) I will possibly send a follow up mail, but never more than 1.

Why would you keep a message from someone you’re not interested in other than to boost your ego?

If you receive abusive messages, I’d block and report – there’s simply no need for that kind of behaviour on here, or indeed in real-life.

What I will say is that the percentage of rude and ignorant people is spread across men, women and couples. It’s just that with there being such a high proportion of men, and couples and women being able to pick and choose they can often come across just as rude and ignorant as men.

👏👏👏👏👏👏 what a great post, case closed!! 👍👊

Why do you assume I keep the messages? I delete straight away yet they still repeatedly message "

Why if you're not interested in the sender don't you block them?

You'd never get a repeat message ever again. 🤔

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago


"I would so love to screenshot some of the messages I've received and put them on a thread just to show how vile some men are....

Maybe then the ones who complain about not getting replies will see why it doesn't happen x"
Just Block and Delete,it's not worth the time or effort

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago


"Here are my views on message etiquette – FWIW.

I understand and appreciate that it’s not necessarily possible to reply to every message received, especially if you’re receiving 100’s.

However, if you’ve opened and read the message it is only 1 click to delete it.

If the person isn’t of interest why not just delete the message straight away?

If I see a message I have been sent has been deleted, I take it as a no and then block that person, so I don’t inadvertently message or bother them again.

If I see it has been read but not deleted, I take it as they might be interested but don’t have time to respond there and then or waiting for their partner to read it. If I haven’t received a response after a week or so (and it still hasn’t been deleted) I will possibly send a follow up mail, but never more than 1.

Why would you keep a message from someone you’re not interested in other than to boost your ego?

If you receive abusive messages, I’d block and report – there’s simply no need for that kind of behaviour on here, or indeed in real-life.

What I will say is that the percentage of rude and ignorant people is spread across men, women and couples. It’s just that with there being such a high proportion of men, and couples and women being able to pick and choose they can often come across just as rude and ignorant as men.

👏👏👏👏👏👏 what a great post, case closed!! 👍👊

Why do you assume I keep the messages? I delete straight away yet they still repeatedly message

Why if you're not interested in the sender don't you block them?

You'd never get a repeat message ever again. 🤔"

Because then there’s no drama, and nothing to bash men about in forums?

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By *parkle1974Woman
24 weeks ago

Leeds


"I would so love to screenshot some of the messages I've received and put them on a thread just to show how vile some men are....

Maybe then the ones who complain about not getting replies will see why it doesn't happen x Just Block and Delete,it's not worth the time or effort "

I do. Can't be arsed with little boys trying to act like a man!

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By *elloWoman
24 weeks ago

alpha centauri

I don't mind a gentle 'hi just checking message didn't get lost' follow up message. But when they bombard with message after message I find this an excellent filter and block them.

I get more disappointed when couples do this, I think single men feel slighted by messages being ignored and couples are not used to their messages being ignored so don't know how to react when it happens.

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By *naswingdressWoman
24 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I don't mind a gentle 'hi just checking message didn't get lost' follow up message. But when they bombard with message after message I find this an excellent filter and block them.

I get more disappointed when couples do this, I think single men feel slighted by messages being ignored and couples are not used to their messages being ignored so don't know how to react when it happens."

Yes. Although men are the worst by volume, couples tend to be ruder overall.

(#notalletc)

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By *il-widgeMan
24 weeks ago

Stone Staffordshire


"I would so love to screenshot some of the messages I've received and put them on a thread just to show how vile some men are....

Maybe then the ones who complain about not getting replies will see why it doesn't happen x"

I have some of them sent to me by ladies and couples I have met and they are horrendous, so whilst I understand the frustration from a genuine guys perspective, it's not a surprise we don't always get a reply, that's without allowing for the fact we aren't all everyone's cup of tea....

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By *exxyyDy11Man
24 weeks ago

North West

This is interesting as most of the abuse I've got as a single guy is from couples, I know not all couples are like this. Most are decent and wonderful. However, there are a certain percentage that are pushy. Do this, don't do that. Very aggressive and abusive to you. Again, not all, but I've had my fair share.

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