FabSwingers.com forum: Dad jokes.

By (user no longer on site) OP
23 weeks ago

Since the your mum jokes isn't fun for all. 😳

How about some silly dad jokes.

What did the horse say when it tripped?

Help I've fallen and i can't giddy up. 🫣

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By *midnight-Woman
23 weeks ago

...

What’s the difference between 3 dicks and a joke?

Your dad can’t take a joke .. oh wait

👀👀

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By *exyScientistsCouple
23 weeks ago

Castlebar

"What’s the difference between 3 dicks and a joke?

Your dad can’t take a joke .. oh wait

👀👀"

Omg 🤣🤣🤣

Laughed so hard

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By *atgirl and RobinCouple
23 weeks ago

Durham

Which cheese would you use to hide a horse? Mascarpone

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By *alnutwhipsWoman
23 weeks ago

hull

🤣🤣🤣

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By *hunky GentMan
23 weeks ago

Nottingham and Stamford

my lady asked where I was taking her for valentines day.

Apparently 'up the arse' wasn't the correct answer.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
23 weeks ago

"What’s the difference between 3 dicks and a joke?

Your dad can’t take a joke .. oh wait

👀👀

Omg 🤣🤣🤣

Laughed so hard "

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By (user no longer on site) OP
23 weeks ago

What u call a guy with a seagull on his head?

Cliff

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By *inkyropecoupleCouple
23 weeks ago

carluke

Why did the lobster blush?

Because the sea

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By *utualMan
23 weeks ago

Bawtry

I said to my wife of 20 years: 'Am I really the only one you've ever been with?' She quickly replied: 'Absolutely! Before you, they were all nines and tens'......

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By *naswingdressWoman
23 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No idea

What do you call a deer with no eyes or legs?

Still no idea

What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no head?

Matt.

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By *oeBeansMan
23 weeks ago

Derby

Your dad is so fat...

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By *naswingdressWoman
23 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

What's brown and sticky?

A stick

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By *naswingdressWoman
23 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

What happens when you mix a cow and an octopus?

A firm rebuke from the ethics committee and a cessation of funding

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By *utualMan
23 weeks ago

Bawtry

I used to date a‌‌n Englis‌‌h teache‌‌r wh‌‌o kept correctin‌‌g m‌‌y gramma‌‌r durin‌‌g sex.

Sh‌‌e got particularl‌‌y annoye‌‌d abou‌‌t m‌‌y imprope‌‌r us‌‌e o‌‌f th‌‌e colon.....

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By *inkShyWoman
23 weeks ago

near Windsor

"Why did the lobster blush?

Because the sea "

This has totally gone over my head, so I might be off to the stereotype thread to confess I'm blonde.

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By *inkShyWoman
23 weeks ago

near Windsor

"I used to date a‌‌n Englis‌‌h teache‌‌r wh‌‌o kept correctin‌‌g m‌‌y gramma‌‌r durin‌‌g sex.

Sh‌‌e got particularl‌‌y annoye‌‌d abou‌‌t m‌‌y imprope‌‌r us‌‌e o‌‌f th‌‌e colon.....

🤣🤣

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By *ggdrasil66Man
23 weeks ago

Saltdean

A white horse walks into a pub.

The landlord said, “we got a whiskey named after you”.

The white horse said, “what, Eric”?

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By *igAl11_10Man
23 weeks ago

Exeter-ish

Why should you never buy Ukrainian underpants?

Because Chernobyl fall out!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
23 weeks ago

What's pink and hard?

A pig with a flick knife.

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By *igAl11_10Man
23 weeks ago

Exeter-ish

What’s better than daffodils on your piano?

Tulips on your organ!

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By *utualMan
23 weeks ago

Bawtry

Recently my grandfather sat the family down and told us he was addicted to viagra?

No one took it harder than grandma.

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By *ergus1622Man
23 weeks ago

Dundee

How did I know my girlfriend thought I was invading her privacy? She wrote about it in her diary.

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By *ergus1622Man
23 weeks ago

Dundee

I went to the aquarium this weekend, but I didn’t stay long. There’s something fishy about that place.

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?

I've never had a lentil on my face...

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By *ORDERMANMan
23 weeks ago

wrexham(south)

What do you call a guy standing undererneath a bridge...Arch

What do you call a guy with no hair standing underneath a bridge

Archibald

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By *allySlinkyWoman
23 weeks ago

Leeds

"Why did the lobster blush?

Because the sea

This has totally gone over my head, so I might be off to the stereotype thread to confess I'm blonde."

S e a w e e d

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By *ildTimes.Man
23 weeks ago

Wherever I May Roam

Me - Excuse me Dr, where do I put my pants during the examination?

Dr - Just put them over there next to mine.

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By *ggdrasil66Man
23 weeks ago

Saltdean

I dreamt I won a car last night.

The only trouble is, when I woke up this morning, all I had was the horn.

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By *urves and MischiefWoman
23 weeks ago

North West

Why shouldn’t you buy trousers from the Ukraine?

Because Chernobyl fall out

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By *ugh JerectionMan
23 weeks ago

Bolton

Just asked the missus if she could tie my shoelaces whilst I'm on the toilet.

She said "are you serious"

"I shit, you knot" i said.

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By *MisschiefxTV/TS
23 weeks ago

London

Which side of a turkey has the most feathers?

The outside

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By *ORDERMANMan
21 weeks ago

wrexham(south)

What socks do Pirates wear...?

Aaaaarrrrrgggghhhgyle socks

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By *erry bull1Man
21 weeks ago

doncaster

I bought a toilet brush last week

To cut a long story short

Ive gone back to using toilet paper

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By *exagon9Man
21 weeks ago

Bristol

Breaking news!

A man was admitted to hospital last night with 25 plastic horses inserted in his rectum.

Doctors have de_cribed his condition as stable.

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By *dnmartinMan
20 weeks ago

Hounslow

Where does a book group that has studied the same book for years and years meet?

Church

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By *dnmartinMan
20 weeks ago

Hounslow

Chatted to a guy on here, sent him a load of Lego puns.

He's blocked me

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
20 weeks ago

Manchester(ish).

What language do bridges speak?

Span-ish

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

"What happens when you mix a cow and an octopus?

A firm rebuke from the ethics committee and a cessation of funding"

🤣🤣🤣

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By *midnight-Woman
20 weeks ago

...

Are you sponsored by NASA.... Because you're a rocket

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Fish

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By *allySlinkyWoman
20 weeks ago

Leeds

And now the football results

Real Madrid 2 - Surreal Madrid Fish

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By *dnmartinMan
20 weeks ago

Hounslow

My grief councillor died

But luckily he was so good I didn't give a shit

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

I am drinking too much brake fluid.

I'm not addicted I can stop any time.

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By (user no longer on site)
19 weeks ago

Whats brown and sticky.

A stick

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By *ubikslongswordMan
19 weeks ago

Rubiksville

I renamed my toilet Jim instead of John.

People are really impressed when I tell them I go to the Jim every morning. 🚽

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By *aven3Man
19 weeks ago

Stoford

"What’s better than daffodils on your piano?

Tulips on your organ!

😁😁💋🥒

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By *carlettsWoman
19 weeks ago

Harpenden

"Why did the lobster blush?

Because the sea

This has totally gone over my head, so I might be off to the stereotype thread to confess I'm blonde."

I don't get this either lol

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By *carlettsWoman
19 weeks ago

Harpenden

"Why did the lobster blush?

Because the sea

This has totally gone over my head, so I might be off to the stereotype thread to confess I'm blonde.

S e a w e e d"

Aha now makes sense thank you lol

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
19 weeks ago

BRIDPORT

"How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Fish

How many existentialists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two

One to screw the bulb in, the other to observe how the bulb symbolises a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity.

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By *heTattooedDomMan
19 weeks ago

Winnersh

This is my step ladder, I never knew my real ladder.

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By *ondonMagicCouple
19 weeks ago

Durham

Loving the jokes!!!

What do you call a gay dinosaur after he’s been fucked by his man?

A magasaurarse

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By *arkeymark1000Man
19 weeks ago

Northampton

I’ve been trying to sell my collection of glove puppets for the last 6 months.

Nobody will take them off my hands.

Badum tissshhh.

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By *arkeymark1000Man
19 weeks ago

Northampton

I used to steal kettles.

I’ve been in hot water ever since.

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By *a LunaWoman
19 weeks ago

o o OO o o

What did one curtain say to the other?

We should pull ourselves together.

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By *moothGuy34Man
19 weeks ago

bicester

What do you call a dog with no legs?

anything you want, it still won’t come to you.

Where do you find a dog with no legs?

Where you left it!

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By *antastic BeastMan
19 weeks ago

WINCHESTER

"What happens when you mix a cow and an octopus?

A firm rebuke from the ethics committee and a cessation of funding"

Oh that was goooood

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By *agiccasterMan
19 weeks ago

worksop

Getting ready for work wife said your shoes are on the wrong feet i said yes they shoulf be on yours

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By *mmy LouiseTV/TS
19 weeks ago

Gainsborough

I can’t believe I failed my Religious Education GCSE, I mean Jason Christ, who fails Religious Education

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By *a LunaWoman
19 weeks ago

o o OO o o

"I can’t believe I failed my Religious Education GCSE, I mean Jason Christ, who fails Religious Education

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By (user no longer on site)
19 weeks ago

How do you get Dick from Richard?

You ask him nicely

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By *ynamite500Man
19 weeks ago

Angus

How does a cat sound going down a motorway?

Meeeeeeeeeooooooooooowwwwwwww!😹

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By (user no longer on site)
19 weeks ago

What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes

A doyouthinkhesawrus

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By *bitofaslutWoman
19 weeks ago

Cannock

[Removed by poster at 16/03/25 13:02:56]

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By *bitofaslutWoman
19 weeks ago

Cannock

What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.

What do you call a man between two houses? Ali.

Guy walks into a bar. Ouch.

"Dad, I'm hungry" "hi hungry, I'm dad"

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By *rthur30Man
19 weeks ago

Warrington

"This is my step ladder, I never knew my real ladder. "

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By (user no longer on site)
19 weeks ago

I had a date with a dolphin!

We just clicked

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By *avie65Man
19 weeks ago

In the west.

Don’t argue with left handed people. They are not right.

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By *ergus1622Man
19 weeks ago

Dundee

What kind of chocolate do you find at airports?

Plain

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By *ynamite500Man
19 weeks ago

Angus

One for the older generation... Bill and Ben, flower pot men.

Bill and Ben sitting together.

Bill says to Ben, flobba, lobba lobble.

Ben says, for fuck sake Bill.If you loved me, you'd of swallowed!!!🤪

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
19 weeks ago

The bottom of the River Ankh

What do you call a dinosaur with haemorrhoids?

A megasorarse

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By *tr8MrEMan
19 weeks ago

somewhere near Sheffield

Never fuck with a stupid dwarf, it ain't big and it ain't clever

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By *eoBloomsMan
19 weeks ago

Springfield

"What do you call a dinosaur with haemorrhoids?

A megasorarse"

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
19 weeks ago

The bottom of the River Ankh

"Never fuck with a stupid dwarf, it ain't big and it ain't clever"

🤣🤣

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By *hank you sirMan
19 weeks ago

colchester

Who invented the round table?

Sir cumference

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
19 weeks ago

The bottom of the River Ankh

"Who invented the round table?

Sir cumference "

That was wheely good

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By *arkeymark1000Man
19 weeks ago

Northampton

A ‘round’ of applause for that one

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By *nobyMan
19 weeks ago

Dorchester

Never marry a tennis player. Love means nothing to them.

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By *cribeMan
19 weeks ago

Bridgend

"And now the football results

Real Madrid 2 - Surreal Madrid Fish"

Hahaha

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
19 weeks ago

The bottom of the River Ankh

"A ‘round’ of applause for that one"

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By *cribeMan
19 weeks ago

Bridgend

I’m addicted to placebos.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
19 weeks ago

Den of Iniquity

I've got a new job playing triangle in a reggae band. And ting.

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By *ubikslongswordMan
19 weeks ago

Rubiksville

I stayed up all night wondering where the sun had gone.

Then it dawned on me...

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
19 weeks ago

The bottom of the River Ankh

"I’m addicted to placebos. "

Did they have you running up that hill ??

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By *arkeymark1000Man
19 weeks ago

Northampton

I'm currently reading a book on anti gravity, I cant put it down.

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By *dnmartinMan
19 weeks ago

Hounslow

Did you hear about the rotund knight at King Arthur's Round Table?

Sir Cumfrence

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By (user no longer on site) OP
19 weeks ago

Did you hear about the magic tractor??

It turned into a field..

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By (user no longer on site)
19 weeks ago

What's pink and smells of Ginger? Fred Astaire's fingers.

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By *olo180Man
19 weeks ago

Greater London

What’s blue and doesn’t fit?

A dead epileptic

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By *FF23Man
19 weeks ago

London

What do you call a judge with no thumbs?

Justice fingers.

😂

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By *gv24Man
19 weeks ago

boston

Once upon a time there was this old empty barn well there was fuck all in it the end

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By *naughtysubbyMan
19 weeks ago

Swadlincote

What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta

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By *echnosonic_BrummieMan
19 weeks ago

Willenhall

I took my last meet out for a meal during a social and she kept insisting she wanted to pay for the meal.

I said: "It's too fucking late now! We're halfway down the street so just keep running...

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By *arkeymark1000Man
19 weeks ago

Northampton

What do you call a donkey that's missing a leg?

A wonkey

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By *aldy321Man
19 weeks ago

Huddersfield

Did you hear about the one armed fisherman?

He caught a fish this big 🤣🤣🤣

On second thoughts this joke doesn't really translate well by message...

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By *quizzlyMan
19 weeks ago

Ryde

Two monkeys in a bath. One goes ooo! ooo! oooo! oooo! The other goes, "well put some cold water in then!"

It's better in person.

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
19 weeks ago

BRIDPORT

I got a part time job working some extra hours in a bakery, I needed the dough

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By *erry bull1Man
19 weeks ago

doncaster

Velcro is a rip off

Crazy paving , isn’t all it’s cracked up to be

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By *orny PTMan
19 weeks ago

Peterborough

"A white horse walks into a pub.

The landlord said, “we got a whiskey named after you”.

The white horse said, “what, Eric”?"

This, is it close enough?

A King Erik Pure Malt, 12-year-old Whisky, imported for the French market.

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By *orny PTMan
19 weeks ago

Peterborough

Philosophy? Why?

World's shortest joke

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By (user no longer on site)
19 weeks ago

"Did you hear about the rotund knight at King Arthur's Round Table?

Sir Cumfrence"

And the Knight who always arrived unexpectedly

Sir Prise

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By *orny PTMan
19 weeks ago

Peterborough

"I can’t believe I failed my Religious Education GCSE, I mean Jason Christ, who fails Religious Education

I thought it was roses in a basket, sounds more realistic.

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By *orny PTMan
19 weeks ago

Peterborough

"Did you hear about the rotund knight at King Arthur's Round Table?

Sir Cumfrence

And the Knight who always arrived unexpectedly

Sir Prise"

His favourite General was Sir Cumspect , as he could see the problems beforehand.

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By *orny PTMan
19 weeks ago

Peterborough

How do you confuse an idiot?

Thursday.

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By *orny PTMan
19 weeks ago

Peterborough

How did they get jesus to outstrech his arms on the cross?

'Just exactly how big was that fish you caught'

One of Brian's me thinks.

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By *dnmartinMan
19 weeks ago

Hounslow

My wife yelled "you haven't listened to a single word I've been saying, have you ?"

Thought to myself, what a strange way to start a conversation

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By (user no longer on site)
19 weeks ago

A man opened a bar called G Spot. It had to close down because no one could find it.

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By *dnmartinMan
19 weeks ago

Hounslow

Every so often I go up to my Spanish colleagues and say "Mucho". It means a lot to them

( I know it is so old, but I still love that joke!)

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By *orny PTMan
19 weeks ago

Peterborough

"A man opened a bar called G Spot. It had to close down because no one could find it. "

But the Hampshire based road painters did once write it down on the roundabout approach, before the spoilsports ruined it and had it removed.

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By *orny PTMan
19 weeks ago

Peterborough

What was the name of the three dinosaurs found in Haworth, Yorkshire in the 19th century?

AnneBrontesauraus

CharlotteBrontesauraus

EmilyBrontesauraus

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By *uriousscouserWoman
19 weeks ago

Wirral

I was wondering why the Frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.

I was wondering why I needed to carry a geiger counter, then it clicked.

Just saw a sign that made me piss myself. It said "toilets closed".

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By *ohnSwingsSurreyMan
19 weeks ago

Horley

What goes: black……….white……black …white…black white black white black white?

A penguin rolling down a hill

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By *orny PTMan
19 weeks ago

Peterborough

I thought I was having a migraine outside St James' park. I wasn't, the toon army were walking over the zebra crossing.

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By *aul DeUther-OneMan
19 weeks ago

Sussex

"What goes: black……….white……black …white…black white black white black white?

A penguin rolling down a hill"

What turns from green to red in half a second ?

A frog in a liquidizer....

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By *allnHandsome12Man
19 weeks ago

Teesside

Did you hear about the circus fire? It was in tents!

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By *orny PTMan
19 weeks ago

Peterborough

Why do instore Santas get given the sack at the end of the Xmas eve shift? Surely it should be taken off them...

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By *orksRockerMan
19 weeks ago

Bradford

My sister said there would be no way I could build a car out of spaghetti. Should have seen her face when I drove right pasta.

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By *ove2pleaseseukMan
19 weeks ago

Hastings

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By *aul DeUther-OneMan
19 weeks ago

Sussex

"My sister said there would be no way I could build a car out of spaghetti. Should have seen her face when I drove right pasta. "

Reminds me of when Skoda built a full size car out of cake.... - the brakes were a bit spongy

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By *iquor247Man
19 weeks ago

wirral

Last night I had a chicken Tarka,

It’s like a chicken Tikka ,

Only a little Otter

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By *orny PTMan
19 weeks ago

Peterborough

elon Musk had bought out the 'Fast & the furious' franchise, it's called the 'Fascist and der Fuhrer'

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By *ntraditional_GentMan
19 weeks ago

Notts

I went to the worst zoo in the world the other day. It only had one animal.

It was a shih tzu.

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By *ynamite500Man
19 weeks ago

Angus

Why did the chewing gum cross the road??

It was stuck to the chickens foot.

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By *echnosonic_BrummieMan
19 weeks ago

Willenhall

This joke self-identifies as funny.

It's pronouns are He/He/He.

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By *orny PTMan
19 weeks ago

Peterborough

I was going to be a comedian, but the wages were a joke.

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By *artfordBlokeMan
19 weeks ago

Dartford

I killed a French vampire with a baguette, it was pain staking, but that's the only way

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By *ortney FoxxxWoman
19 weeks ago

honeysuckle lane

What the difference between your job & your wife ? After 5 years your job will still suck

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By *orny PTMan
19 weeks ago

Peterborough

Lisp is an auto diagnosing condition: if you can't say it, you've got it.

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By *liza_13Woman
19 weeks ago

Motherwell

What’s white and can’t climb trees…….

A fridge

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By *orny PTMan
19 weeks ago

Peterborough

I can jump higher than an elephant: have you seen an elephant jump?

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By *ansoffateMan
19 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

Dad jokes - no thanks - not even if it was the end of the world.

Armageddon out of here.

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By *igboobstCouple
19 weeks ago

barrow

The people of dubai don't like the flintstones but the people of Abu Dhabi do

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By *aygee246Man
19 weeks ago

South Lanarkshire

"What's pink and hard?

A pig with a flick knife. "

Financial times crossword

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By *artfordBlokeMan
19 weeks ago

Dartford

Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, I think the drywipe board is the most remarkable

Will glass coffins become popular? Remains to be seen

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By *orny PTMan
19 weeks ago

Peterborough

"What's pink and hard?

A pig with a flick knife.

Financial times crossword"

being a winner of the Magli Rosa

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By *YDB75Man
19 weeks ago

Beverley

My neighbour was attacked by 4 men last night

1 with a trombone

1 with a trumpet

1 with a sax

1 with a flute

The police believe it was an Orchestrated attack

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
19 weeks ago

The bottom of the River Ankh

"My neighbour was attacked by 4 men last night

1 with a trombone

1 with a trumpet

1 with a sax

1 with a flute

The police believe it was an Orchestrated attack "

🤣🤣

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By *eoBloomsMan
19 weeks ago

Springfield

"My neighbour was attacked by 4 men last night

1 with a trombone

1 with a trumpet

1 with a sax

1 with a flute

The police believe it was an Orchestrated attack "

He must have been really brassed off.

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By *YDB75Man
19 weeks ago

Beverley

A thorough investigation was conducted

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By *orny PTMan
19 weeks ago

Peterborough

"My neighbour was attacked by 4 men last night

1 with a trombone

1 with a trumpet

1 with a sax

1 with a flute

The police believe it was an Orchestrated attack

🤣🤣"

who was the arresting officer,? CID or somone from the beat?

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By *Wgent72Man
19 weeks ago

Manchester

Bono and The Edge walk into a bar and the barman says...'not you two again?'

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By *exaspeteMan
19 weeks ago

Acocks green

My friend got two new puppies the other day and called one Calvin and the other Klein - they were boxers!

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By (user no longer on site)
19 weeks ago

Did you hear about the Peruvian owls working together.

I heard they are inca-hoots

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By *allnHandsome12Man
19 weeks ago

Teesside

When I donate blood, the nurse extracts it for me

Yes sir but this is a sperm bank, it doesn’t work like that

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By (user no longer on site) OP
19 weeks ago

Hey. Did you hear about that paper shop in town???

It blew away..

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By *inabedMFMCouple
19 weeks ago

Manchester

Whats pink & wrinkled and hangs out your undies ? Your Mum

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By *orny PTMan
19 weeks ago

Peterborough

"Bono and The Edge walk into a bar and the barman says...'not you two again?'"

what were they hoping to drink?

Desire IPA

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By *ORDERMANMan
19 weeks ago

wrexham(south)

I asked Alexa what do women want..

It hasn't stopped for 7 days

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By *FF23Man
19 weeks ago

London

If I ever find the surgeon that fucked up this limb transplant, I’ll kill him with my bear hands.

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By *artfordBlokeMan
19 weeks ago

Dartford

There are no aspirin in the jungle, the parrots eat em all

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By *gf301Man
19 weeks ago

canterbury

Saw a man carrying a long pole.

I said "are you a pole vaulter"?

He replied, "no, I'm a German, but how did you know my name is Volter"?

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By *ynamite500Man
19 weeks ago

Angus

What do you call an Irish lesbian!?

Gaelic!!!😁...(Gay,lick!)

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By *orny PTMan
18 weeks ago

Peterborough

"What do you call an Irish lesbian!?

Gaelic!!!😁...(Gay,lick!)"

And they enjoy liquor too!

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By *he National ThrustMan
18 weeks ago

Horsham, Sussex

I keep trying to break up with my long term girlfriend, she's an optician.

It's been really difficult.

Every time I say I can't see her anymore, she moves an inch closer and says "what about now?"

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By *he National ThrustMan
18 weeks ago

Horsham, Sussex

I've just deleted all my German contacts from my phone.

It's now Hans free.

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By *itty9899Man
18 weeks ago

Craggy Island

"What’s the difference between 3 dicks and a joke?

Your dad can’t take a joke .. oh wait

👀👀"

Different Abbey.

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By *he National ThrustMan
18 weeks ago

Horsham, Sussex

Someone asked me what the ninth letter of the alphabet was.

It was a wild guess, but it turns out that I was right....

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By *dnmartinMan
18 weeks ago

Hounslow

Why do Peruvian owls always hunt in pairs?

It's because they're Inca hoots.

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By (user no longer on site)
18 weeks ago

Why can't tribes get pain relief in the jungle

Because the parrotseatamall

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By (user no longer on site)
18 weeks ago

What did the pirate say to his m8s at his 80th birthday party

Ayyyyy mateyyyy

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By (user no longer on site)
18 weeks ago

I'm proper laffin at myself here haha

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By *dnmartinMan
18 weeks ago

Hounslow

I was at the bookshop the other day and seen a book that said

"How to solve 50% of your problems"

So bought 2

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By (user no longer on site)
18 weeks ago

What do u call a Scottish cloakroom attendant

Angus mcoatup

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By *orny PTMan
18 weeks ago

Peterborough

"What do u call a Scottish cloakroom attendant

Angus mcoatup"

His dentist is called Phil McCavity

His lawyer is called MT Mawallit

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By *orny PTMan
18 weeks ago

Peterborough

What's pink, about 6 inches long and is never usually welcomed when waived about, without causing some annoyance?

A £50 note.

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By *yore34Man
18 weeks ago

Hull

If you was a macdonalds burger you'd be a ....... mc cutie

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By *urves and MischiefWoman
18 weeks ago

North West

What does a robot do after a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts 🤖

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By *tr8MrEMan
18 weeks ago

somewhere near Sheffield

What goes click click have I done it, click click have I done it

Stevie Wonder with a Rubik's cube

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By (user no longer on site)
18 weeks ago

How does a train eat?

It chew chews

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By *orny PTMan
18 weeks ago

Peterborough

What's a robot's favourite IPA?

Neck oil.

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By *ilbzMan
18 weeks ago

Swindon Wiltshire

To earn extra money i have started doing circumcisions on the side, the pay is crap but i get to keep the tips…..

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By *orny PTMan
18 weeks ago

Peterborough

"To earn extra money i have started doing circumcisions on the side, the pay is crap but i get to keep the tips….."

Do you need a bigger coin purse?

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By *orny PTMan
18 weeks ago

Peterborough

What's Yorkshire's county anthem?

Living in the past, by Jethro Tull.

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By *orny PTMan
18 weeks ago

Peterborough

What's green, slimy and smells of pork?

Kermit's tongue/fingers/cock.

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By (user no longer on site)
18 weeks ago

Where do whales go to get weighed

The Whale weigh station 😬🤣🤣

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By (user no longer on site)
18 weeks ago

What's the difference between a camera and a sock. One takes 5 toes the other takes photos

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