FabSwingers.com forum: Scene as a Single Man: Challenges and Considerations

By *heitaliandreamer OP Man
24 weeks ago

Northampton

Joining the swinger community as a single man can be an exciting prospect, but it's important to be aware of the unique challenges and downsides you might face. Here’s a comprehensive look at what you might encounter:

1 High Competition:

The ratio of single men to couples and single women is often imbalanced, leading to fierce competition. This can make it harder to find partners willing to engage with you.

2 Screening and Trust Issues:

Couples and single women may be more cautious and selective when interacting with single men due to concerns about safety and trust. It’s crucial to establish credibility and respect boundaries early on.

3 Limited Access to Events:

Some swinger events and clubs have restrictions on the number of single men they allow, which can limit your opportunities to participate and meet others in the community. Additionally, single men often face higher entry fees compared to couples or single women, which can feel discriminatory and add to the financial burden of participating in the lifestyle.

4 Stereotypes and Stigmas:

Single men often face stereotypes of being overly aggressive or disrespectful. It’s important to counteract these perceptions by being respectful, communicative, and considerate.

5 Higher Expectations:

Single men are often expected to be exceptionally polite, well-groomed, and articulate to stand out positively. This can be demanding and require constant effort to maintain a good impression.

6 Communication Challenges:

Miscommunication or misinterpretation of intentions can occur easily. Clear, honest communication is key to managing expectations and ensuring mutual consent.

7 Emotional Dynamics:

Navigating the emotional aspects can be tricky, especially if deeper feelings develop. It’s important to keep communication open and honest to prevent misunderstandings.

8 Building a Reputation:

Establishing a good reputation takes time and consistent effort. Being reliable, respectful, and discreet helps in building trust within the community.

9 Potential for Rejection:

Rejection is a natural part of the experience. It’s important to handle it gracefully and not take it personally, as preferences and chemistry vary widely.

10 Time and Effort:

Successfully engaging in the swinger lifestyle as a single man often requires significant time and effort to build connections and attend events.

Conclusion:

Being a single man in the swinger community comes with its own set of challenges, but with patience, respect, and clear communication, it is possible to build rewarding connections. Always prioritize consent and mutual respect, and be prepared to navigate the dynamics with understanding and empathy.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heitaliandreamer OP Man
24 weeks ago

Northampton

I hope this post might answer some of the questions single men have when joining this community

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *illy IdolMan
24 weeks ago

Midlands

Read and understood

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *atnip make me purrWoman
24 weeks ago

Reading

I think a lot of these are also true for women. I think the pressure to be well-groomed is higher for females.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oughmanMan
24 weeks ago

Sunderland

Very articulate and I agree with all you've said. I personally am trying the site for self improvement. Help with communication skills and taken more interest in how I look.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rHotNottsMan
24 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Wow, there’s no such thing as the swinger community, this might be where you’re going wrong.

There are just lots of very different people, looking for different things.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

Tldr but good on you OP 🤝🏾

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *mf123Man
24 weeks ago

with one foot out the door

Yall act like its a science experiment to get sex from people who want sex you either wanna bone or dont its no more complex than that

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *estructionDollyWoman
24 weeks ago

The Deep Dark Woods

I like the spirit of this post but I don't agree that there are higher expectations of single men's appearance than women. 9 times out of 10 women are judged solely on their appearance and spend a small fortune on it with hair, body hair/grooming, make up, nails, lingerie, perfume etc then men turn up in any old boxers 🤷🏻‍♀️😄

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inkShyWoman
24 weeks ago

near Windsor

It's really not that deep.

Have a profile with actual sentences, have some form of photo to start with, don't send a derogatory or offensive first message, and be able to have a conversation beyond "Yo! Your ass is banging. I'm gonna smack it and bang you with my big willy."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *exxyyDy11Man
24 weeks ago

North West

"It's really not that deep.

Yo! Your ass is banging.

Jokessssss. Don't hurt me 😔😔

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inkShyWoman
24 weeks ago

near Windsor

"It's really not that deep.

Yo! Your ass is banging.

Jokessssss. Don't hurt me 😔😔"

I won't hurt you, you didn't smack it. 🙄

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he Silver FuxMan
24 weeks ago

Uttoxeter

"It's really not that deep.

Imma gonna use this Yo

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

"It's really not that deep.

And then what happens? Do I get meets?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inkShyWoman
24 weeks ago

near Windsor

[Removed by poster at 18/02/25 13:06:47]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inkShyWoman
24 weeks ago

near Windsor

"It's really not that deep.

Imma gonna use this Yo"

I thought it was really common given I rarely get a nice hello!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inkShyWoman
24 weeks ago

near Windsor

"It's really not that deep.

And then what happens? Do I get meets?

Does anyone get meets?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

"It's really not that deep.

And then what happens? Do I get meets?

Does anyone get meets? "

Well in that case I’m not adding photos or adding actual sentences to my profile

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heitaliandreamer OP Man
24 weeks ago

Northampton

"It's really not that deep.

And then what happens? Do I get meets?

Does anyone get meets? "

I do but mainly in clubs

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oiluvfunMan
24 weeks ago

Penrith

"It's really not that deep.

And then what happens? Do I get meets?

Does anyone get meets? "

I do, but not in clubs

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inkShyWoman
24 weeks ago

near Windsor

"It's really not that deep.

And then what happens? Do I get meets?

Does anyone get meets?

Well in that case I’m not adding photos or adding actual sentences to my profile

A rebellion? I like your way of thinking.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inkShyWoman
24 weeks ago

near Windsor

"It's really not that deep.

And then what happens? Do I get meets?

Does anyone get meets?

I do, but not in clubs"

I've had meets, never been to a club.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heitaliandreamer OP Man
24 weeks ago

Northampton

I can see my thread didn't stimulate much conversation. Maybe I should have mentioned words like pussy, cock, fisting etc

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky_couple2020Couple
24 weeks ago

North West

Am I being cynical when I say the OP sounds like it was produced by ChatGPT?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rHotNottsMan
24 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"I can see my thread didn't stimulate much conversation. Maybe I should have mentioned words like pussy, cock, fisting etc"

No disrespect but I could it boring, dull and aimed at people who haven’t got a clue , it also felt like it was written by an AI engine or first year student hoping for a Desmond

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ildTimes.Man
24 weeks ago

Wherever I May Roam

Obviously I'm not going to read a post that's that long, so I'll assume it's about finding meets ....My advice would be if you're struggling target the hoes or even better the fat ones, and the 5s / 6s they're more greatful

Stay tuned for more practical advice! 🥪

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
24 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Am I being cynical when I say the OP sounds like it was produced by ChatGPT?"

It does have that vibe

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *sWyldWoman
24 weeks ago

Edinburgh

"Am I being cynical when I say the OP sounds like it was produced by ChatGPT?"

That was my thought too!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inkShyWoman
24 weeks ago

near Windsor

"Am I being cynical when I say the OP sounds like it was produced by ChatGPT?"

100%, especially when summarises with 'prioritiZe'.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inkShyWoman
24 weeks ago

near Windsor

"I can see my thread didn't stimulate much conversation. Maybe I should have mentioned words like pussy, cock, fisting etc"

It did stimulate conversation, just not the conversation you wanted.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inkShyWoman
24 weeks ago

near Windsor

"Obviously I'm not going to read a post that's that long, so I'll assume it's about finding meets ....My advice would be if you're struggling target the hoes or even better the fat ones, and the 5s / 6s they're more greatful

Stay tuned for more practical advice! 🥪 "

Just because we're fat doesn't mean we aren't selective 🙄

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heitaliandreamer OP Man
24 weeks ago

Northampton

I see some comments suggesting that the post was written by an AI. Whether it was or wasn't, the focus should be on the content and the valid points being raised about the challenges single men face in the swinger community.

Let's concentrate on the real issues rather than getting sidetracked. Once you've mastered a second language and can write it properly, we might consider discussing whether the post was crafted by an AI. Until then, let's engage with the topic at hand and share insights that can benefit us all.

Thank you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
24 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I see some comments suggesting that the post was written by an AI. Whether it was or wasn't, the focus should be on the content and the valid points being raised about the challenges single men face in the swinger community.

Thank you

There are many people here who speak multiple languages.

The content is inane, the same stuff that's been complained about here many times.

This forum is one of the most accommodating places for English as a second language you'll find in the general population - it's explicitly forbidden to criticise spelling and grammar. Why not try to show your mastery of English, rather than wasting our time with auto generated swill?

Thank you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

Ladies playground as is pretty much the whole swinging scene.

I let the Mrs get on with any arrangements she holds the veto vote lol.

Might be out this weekend but I would prefer waiting until the nights are a bit warmer

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ulieScrumptiousWoman
24 weeks ago

North West

Thank you

I don't know quite what you were expecting.

"You've" written a comprehensive intro guide for new single men on the scene. What's to discuss?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *illy IdolMan
24 weeks ago

Midlands

Thank you

I don't know quite what you were expecting.

"You've" written a comprehensive intro guide for new single men on the scene. What's to discuss? "

The importance on women sending the first message, and how it can contribute towards world peace?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *wist my nipplesCouple
24 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly

Thank you

I don't know quite what you were expecting.

"You've" written a comprehensive intro guide for new single men on the scene. What's to discuss?

The importance on women sending the first message, and how it can contribute towards world peace?"

So this is what’s holding up those peace talks!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *illy IdolMan
24 weeks ago

Midlands

Thank you

I don't know quite what you were expecting.

"You've" written a comprehensive intro guide for new single men on the scene. What's to discuss?

The importance on women sending the first message, and how it can contribute towards world peace?

So this is what’s holding up those peace talks!"

More than likely.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *electableicecreamMan
24 weeks ago

The West

[Removed by poster at 19/02/25 14:55:54]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *electableicecreamMan
24 weeks ago

The West

1. High Competition: Opportunity for Excellence. Competition isn't a barrier, but a motivator to become more engaging, interesting, and valuable as a partner. It elevates the quality of connections.

2. Screening and Trust Issues: Opportunity for Credibility. Caution becomes a chance to showcase integrity and respect, building genuine trust and deeper connections through character.

3. Limited Access: Opportunity for Strategic Engagement. Restrictions encourage selective event choices, prioritizing quality experiences and more serious community atmospheres.

4. Stereotypes: Opportunity to Redefine Perceptions. Negative stereotypes are chances to become positive examples, shattering expectations and earning respect through exemplary behavior.

5. Higher Expectations: Opportunity for Self-Improvement. Demands for polish are catalysts for self-improvement, enhancing appeal and confidence in all areas of life.

6. Communication Challenges: Opportunity for Mastery. Navigating communication complexities hones valuable skills, fostering clearer, more honest connections within and beyond the community.

7. Emotional Dynamics: Opportunity for Emotional Growth. "Tricky" emotions become chances for emotional maturity, building deeper, more authentic relationships.

8. Building Reputation: Opportunity for Lasting Respect. Earning a reputation through reliability and respect creates a valued and lasting persona, attracting positive interactions.

9. Potential Rejection: Opportunity for Resilience. Rejection fosters resilience and self-awareness, refining approaches and leading to more compatible connections.

10. Time and Effort: Opportunity for Meaningful Engagement. Investment of time signifies commitment to valuable, intentional interactions and deeper, more rewarding experiences.

Conclusion: Embrace Opportunity and Thrive. Being a single man in this community is about embracing opportunities for personal growth, building quality connections, and experiencing the lifestyle in a positive, enriching way through a proactive, opportunity-focused mindset.

A condensed refutation by Gemini

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *atman_and_PoisonIvyCouple
24 weeks ago

The Batcave, nr. Cannock

Very well put OP 👏 👌

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ulieScrumptiousWoman
24 weeks ago

North West

Yep, we're in that episode of South Park. 😂

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aFemmeCoquetteWoman
24 weeks ago

somewhere, someplace

Ya know a lot face a fair few of those things you've listed not just single men 🤔

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ealitybitesMan
24 weeks ago

Belfast

I haven't read any of the other comments but you lost me at part one where you say it's a competition.

It's not at all and that's where most go wrong.

Numbers and ratios are irrelevant unless you are trying to appeal to a collective.

Who are we supposed to be competing against?

What are we competing for? Attention?

Why not just chat to everyone equally and stop trying to tick boxes or move up the ladder?

It's amazing how simple fab really is when you treat others as human beings rather than numbers and statistics.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ulieScrumptiousWoman
24 weeks ago

North West

It's amazing how simple fab really is when you treat others as human beings.

This is all. Just this. Human beings. Not numbers, not statistics, not a collection of holes.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
24 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

It's amazing how simple fab really is when you treat others as human beings.

This is all. Just this. Human beings. Not numbers, not statistics, not a collection of holes. "

I'd say that those who recognise that I'm a human being are in the top 20% of my messages.

Like, the bar is so low that it's in hell.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eroLondonMan
24 weeks ago

Covent Garden

"High Competition:"

There is no fierce competition. I've never felt like I've had to compete with other men. I do just fine on my own merits.

"Screening and Trust Issues:"

My personal experience dictates that couples and women are less choosy and discerning than men. Men are no less concerned about their safety, security and peace of mind.

"Stereotypes and Stigmas:...being respectful, communicative, and considerate."

You're preaching to the converted here. The people who need to heed those words are extraneous to the forums. Ergo it's a moot point.

"Higher Expectations:"

I agree: I sometimes wish women would use a bar of soap too. They often fall short of their own ablutions.

"Building a Reputation:"

A well-endowed phallus sometimes supersedes "good reputation", depending on your target audience.

"Potential for Rejection:"

It's true: women need to handle rejection in the same manner they handle cocks, with humility and grace.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heitaliandreamer OP Man
24 weeks ago

Northampton

Good night everyone

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky_couple2020Couple
24 weeks ago

North West

"Yep, we're in that episode of South Park. 😂"

South Park has an episode on AI chatbots? God, I'm so out of touch

Oh, and I speak two languages fluently, OP, plus two others at a conversational level and taught myself enough French in a three day stay to get by in France (having never studied it before).

You're not the only polyglot in the village

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
24 weeks ago

little house on the praire

I've known and met some lovely men on here who are very successful.

Decent profile decent first messages. Going to socials ( usually free) be sociable, be prepared to mix with people.

You don't have to be adonis just pleasantly social able with an open mind and an advantage of being personable

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ulieScrumptiousWoman
24 weeks ago

North West

"Yep, we're in that episode of South Park. 😂

South Park has an episode on AI chatbots? God, I'm so out of touch

Oh, and I speak two languages fluently, OP, plus two others at a conversational level and taught myself enough French in a three day stay to get by in France (having never studied it before).

You're not the only polyglot in the village

Yes. And funnily enough a big part of it is people fooling people into thinking they're good at communication via messaging but not being able to live up to that in person. 🤔😂

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky_couple2020Couple
24 weeks ago

North West

"Yep, we're in that episode of South Park. 😂

South Park has an episode on AI chatbots? God, I'm so out of touch

Oh, and I speak two languages fluently, OP, plus two others at a conversational level and taught myself enough French in a three day stay to get by in France (having never studied it before).

You're not the only polyglot in the village

Yes. And funnily enough a big part of it is people fooling people into thinking they're good at communication via messaging but not being able to live up to that in person. 🤔😂"

Je sois un petit pois

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ittall2020Man
24 weeks ago

Norwich

While all of those are valid points, the main issue is clearly demonstrated by a local status post just now "Iv been on here an hour & have 256 messages…"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *bi HaiveMan
24 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

I agree with some of the original points and disagree with others.

Could some learn from reading it? Maybe. But they probably won't even know it exists because they never venture in the forums.

Advice is always a useful tool, but I generally feel that letting people navigate their own journey and work things out themselves based on experiences and trial and error is the best way.

Otherwise you're effectively giving someone a 'cheat sheet' on how to portray themselves to others when the reality and their own personality may be worlds apart from what they've been told and taught to display.

Common sense, respect and a decent set of morals is generally all you need in this life as much as your day to day one. 🤷‍♂️

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oiluvfunMan
23 weeks ago

Penrith

"While all of those are valid points, the main issue is clearly demonstrated by a local status post just now "Iv been on here an hour & have 256 messages…"

And that's the challenge a single guy in Fab faces every day; how to be that one guy out of the first 256 she replies to....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread