FabSwingers.com forum: Message reply or delete?

By *ngel7disguise OP Woman
24 weeks ago

Loughborough

I get a fair few messages, being a nice person I try and respond to as many as a can even if it’s to say thanks, but you’re not for me!

I wish them luck with swinging and delete.

On occasion I have had people thank me for taking the time to reply.

Some have said it’s nice not to be ignored.

However, on so many more occasions I get horrid replies… such as “Get out your own ass”.

So, my question is; if I feel someone’s not right, should I just ignore and delete?

Or should I continue with my polite response?

Thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

Do a combination of both.

Send your polite reply if you like. But then block the person you’ve sent it to. You get to reply but without the comeback.

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

Morning, btw you look amazing.

Personally I like a polite reply, but also appreciate you will get a lot of messages and don’t always have the time or inclination to reply!

Some on here can be rude and disrespectful which I have no time for at all.

We each are looking for something, it doesn’t always instantly mean that the person or couple you are messaging want that too!

Play nice and be happy!

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By *rJandMrsJCouple
24 weeks ago

Stalybridge

We have a list of people we don't reply too, just to set expectations. If they message and i see they fall into that category we don't reply too, I just delete.

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By *achelTheAnalSlutTV/TS
24 weeks ago

Haywards Heath

If the message is just a one word or one sentence low effort thing, from someone with a completely blank profile, then I just delete and ignore.

If someone sends a proper message I always try to reply. Even if only to say they're not for me.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
24 weeks ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

It's nice to be able to reply to all, even if on occasion you end up with an unwanted penpal for a while

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By *uchessdoeWoman
24 weeks ago

Northampton

If someone's put some effort into their message (I.e. actually looked at my profile, personalised it, written more than "hey") then I'll try and make an effort to reply. If they haven't, I'll just delete - I haven't got time for that.

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

"If someone's put some effort into their message (I.e. actually looked at my profile, personalised it, written more than "hey") then I'll try and make an effort to reply. If they haven't, I'll just delete - I haven't got time for that. "

Message and reply

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By *ngel7disguise OP Woman
24 weeks ago

Loughborough

Thanks for the responses… Some good points made!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
24 weeks ago

East Sussex

If you felt someone wasn't right in person would you be polite and nice to them?

Choose who to respond to carefully and delete and block the others. As tough as it sounds you owe nothing to people who message you on a swingers site.

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By *atgirl and RobinCouple
24 weeks ago

Durham

If they clearly haven't read our profile and aren't what we're looking for, or if the message is graphic or has a dick pic attached then we delete.

If it's a well constructed message, but the sender just isn't for us then we'll reply.

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By *iscombobulated1523Couple
24 weeks ago

Worcestershire

We respond to the polite messages even if it's a no thanks

It surprised us how many 'nice' people turn childish and get abusive

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By *an8iMan
24 weeks ago

Bilston

I take the time to read their profile before messaging them and reference something they've mentioned send a face to prove I'm genuine and finish saying if I don't get a reply I'll take it as a polite no, but some people don't seem to be able to grasp that no reply is a reply. But It would be nice having put the effort into a polite message getting a no thanks reply back.

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By *artorialMan
24 weeks ago

weymouth

From my perspective a reply is always welcome, the pragmatist in me realises this isn't realistic do you the number of messages some folks get. So a delete draws a line under it for me - not interested, cool. The bit I struggle with is message left read but no further action, I've now started my own regime in I'll leave it like that for a week then delete, I do the same with unread - it's kinda you're left hanging not really knowing if they've looked but not opened, not looked as just too many, don't like you but trying to come up with an answer.

I'm in danger of overthinking

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By *ngel7disguise OP Woman
24 weeks ago

Loughborough

"If you felt someone wasn't right in person would you be polite and nice to them?

Choose who to respond to carefully and delete and block the others. As tough as it sounds you owe nothing to people who message you on a swingers site. "

I feel like on Fab I am as I would be in real life… but you have a good point!

I need to toughen up.

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By *ngel7disguise OP Woman
24 weeks ago

Loughborough

I'm in danger of overthinking

I’m an overthinking… 🤦‍♀️

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
24 weeks ago

East Sussex

"If you felt someone wasn't right in person would you be polite and nice to them?

Choose who to respond to carefully and delete and block the others. As tough as it sounds you owe nothing to people who message you on a swingers site.

I feel like on Fab I am as I would be in real life… but you have a good point!

I need to toughen up. "

I don't think it's a case of toughening up more protecting and valuing yourself.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
24 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

Usually I'll reply to anything over four words with at least a no. But that does mean I then have probably about 70% of those causing another message, usually a thanks for responding, but sometimes the rants about how ugly and stuck up I am or the ever irritating But whyyyyyy?

So some days I do just delete unless there's some real attempt to connect in there. Usually if I've uploaded a new picture I lose steam on wanting to deal with the inbox pretty quickly.

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By *exyScientistsCouple
24 weeks ago

Castlebar

"I get a fair few messages, being a nice person I try and respond to as many as a can even if it’s to say thanks, but you’re not for me!

I wish them luck with swinging and delete.

On occasion I have had people thank me for taking the time to reply.

Some have said it’s nice not to be ignored.

However, on so many more occasions I get horrid replies… such as “Get out your own ass”.

So, my question is; if I feel someone’s not right, should I just ignore and delete?

Or should I continue with my polite response?

Thanks "

I do reply mostly...if its just Hi I don't reply or a shadow profile (it's in our profile that I wont reply) and if its a compliment about photos I'll say thanks generally. If it's a request to meet I might just say no thanks. I've never had a rude reply but even a no thanks seems to encourage conversation sometimes. I do feel rude just deleting without reply...I wouldn't do that in person so I try to apply the same rules on here.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
24 weeks ago

East Sussex

"If you felt someone wasn't right in person would you be polite and nice to them?

Choose who to respond to carefully and delete and block the others. As tough as it sounds you owe nothing to people who message you on a swingers site.

I feel like on Fab I am as I would be in real life… but you have a good point!

I need to toughen up. "

Also do you have mail filters set to exclude certain groups and do you use the block button a lot?

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By *rdere OpusCouple
24 weeks ago

Brum - ish

A point to bear in mind, if you later change your filters, anyone affected by that filter who you’ve previously messaged will still be able to do so.

We follow the format that if someone has taken time and effort to read our profile, we’ll reply. If they’ve clearly not, or the message is dreadful, we’ll delete.

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By *midnight-Woman
24 weeks ago

...

I only delete if the preview is really horrible - like I want to r*pe you (in which case it gets reported)

I've recently started to open more messages and am even replying to a few... But it's hard to find the right vibe - i think I like humour and everyone is so serious on fab 😵‍💫

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By *ouseofhoneyCouple
24 weeks ago

North West

"If they clearly haven't read our profile and aren't what we're looking for, or if the message is graphic or has a dick pic attached then we delete.

If it's a well constructed message, but the sender just isn't for us then we'll reply. "

Pretty much this for us as well... A good 90% defo havent read the profile before they message tho!

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By *ouble-SidedCouple
24 weeks ago

Voldsøy

Like others have said, I will reply to the ones that have read our profile, or have put some effort into the message. We've only been here a few months, but so far 🤞 we haven't had any abuse for the polite declines. If we do, they'll get blocked

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By *ngel7disguise OP Woman
24 weeks ago

Loughborough

I do have filters set…

Sadly the ‘Block’ button is becoming a more frequently used.

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By *uteinasuitMan
24 weeks ago

Herts

I know I'm not to everyone's taste but it is nice to get a reply and I thank them. But won't lose sleep or be an arsehole if they don't

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
24 weeks ago

East Sussex

"I do have filters set…

Sadly the ‘Block’ button is becoming a more frequently used. "

Don't forget the private notes feature. That's very handy.

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

"If they clearly haven't read our profile and aren't what we're looking for, or if the message is graphic or has a dick pic attached then we delete.

If it's a well constructed message, but the sender just isn't for us then we'll reply. "

Same here, back when I was meeting. But even then I found the volume of messages a bit much, so I unticked the "looking for men" box and did my own messaging instead. That was far more maneagable.

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

You don’t owe strangers on the internet anything. Reply to the messages that interest you and ignore the ones that don’t.

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By *ynamicnatureMan
24 weeks ago

Doncaster

I wouldn't expect a reply and can imagine with the volume of messages that single ladies receive that responding to even the well thought out messages would soon get a bit tedious.

If I were in your shoes Angel, I'd probably just want to spend my limited time and energy on the profiles that I was interested in.

We're all here for a good time and not a long time

As a side note, it would fantastic for all the goodn's on this site if fab could introduce filters that could automatically delete and block the senders profile if you receive an intro message with less than X amount of words or if the message contains particular words that you don't want to hear or pics you don't want to see.

It would certainly cut down on a lot of the crap some single ladies receive.

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By *oughmanMan
24 weeks ago

Sunderland

I'm seeing more and more threads like this that say the same thing. What the hell is wrong with some people? Is it so hard to just be nice to others and respect them. These shitheads the OP are on about really do reflect poorly on the rest of us. Especially to new people that are just joining. Gives a really poor impression of the site and burns others out if that's all they get. That's no one elses fault, I'm just having a rant.

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

As you've got a requirements list that reads like CV, I would simply put something like this as the very first line of your profile:

************************************************************************

Please note, if I do not respond to your message and delete it, please don't take offence.

I've looked at your profile and decided you're not for me but thanks for your interest!

************************************************************************

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By *ngel7disguise OP Woman
24 weeks ago

Loughborough

"As you've got a requirements list that reads like CV, I would simply put something like this as the very first line of your profile:

************************************************************************

Please note, if I do not respond to your message and delete it, please don't take offence.

I've looked at your profile and decided you're not for me but thanks for your interest!

************************************************************************"

Thanks! I might try that…

And I’ll work on the CV 😂

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By *eroLondonMan
24 weeks ago

Covent Garden

OP, may I be candid? I think you should just focus on my epistles and disregard everyone else's. ✉️

Life would be so much angst-ridden otherwise.

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By *ngel7disguise OP Woman
24 weeks ago

Loughborough

"OP, may I be candid? I think you should just focus on my epistles and disregard everyone else's. ✉️

Life would be so much angst-ridden otherwise."

So only communication from Nero moving forward! That should make life interesting… dictionary at the ready 😉

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By *ympho6969Woman
24 weeks ago

glasgow

"I get a fair few messages, being a nice person I try and respond to as many as a can even if it’s to say thanks, but you’re not for me!

I wish them luck with swinging and delete.

On occasion I have had people thank me for taking the time to reply.

Some have said it’s nice not to be ignored.

However, on so many more occasions I get horrid replies… such as “Get out your own ass”.

So, my question is; if I feel someone’s not right, should I just ignore and delete?

Or should I continue with my polite response?

Thanks "

There's no pleasing everyone on here. I've tried replying to all and so many men think it's a challenge to change my mind or just start with abuse. If it's a well thought out message I'll reply, but the rest get ignored and deleted.

If I get spammed then they just get blocked. I try not to block but I'm using it a lot more recently when men just can't take no for an answer. Do they really think I'd want to be alone with someone who can't accept no to communication?

I don't think so. Wouldn't be someone I trust at all

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By *exxyyDy11Man
24 weeks ago

North West

OP I don't think a lot of guys realise how bombarded womens messages can be on here. Impossible to reply to all.

You just keep being you, reply to those worthy of a response, ignore the rest.

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By *eroLondonMan
24 weeks ago

Covent Garden

"OP, may I be candid? I think you should just focus on my epistles and disregard everyone else's. ✉️

Life would be so much angst-ridden otherwise.

So only communication from Nero moving forward! That should make life interesting… dictionary at the ready 😉"

•

Small steps...big experiences... indelible memories.

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

"Do a combination of both.

Send your polite reply if you like. But then block the person you’ve sent it to. You get to reply but without the comeback."

I'm like the OP but I will still blocking after, as some of the responses are getting on my last nerve. There are some who want more and more explanations as to why you don't want to chat. The entitlement from some is on another level.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
24 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

I’m a nice person and I just delete and block if I’m not interested. Works for me and I’ve never got any abuse.

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

"I’m a nice person and I just delete and block if I’m not interested. Works for me and I’ve never got any abuse. "

I like this and I've amended my profile because it's the only way to stop the nonsense!

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By *YDB75Man
24 weeks ago

Beverley

I always try to reply but can be blunt sometimes depending on message received

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By *adagastMan
24 weeks ago

Rotherham

"I get a fair few messages, being a nice person I try and respond to as many as a can even if it’s to say thanks, but you’re not for me!

I wish them luck with swinging and delete.

On occasion I have had people thank me for taking the time to reply.

Some have said it’s nice not to be ignored.

However, on so many more occasions I get horrid replies… such as “Get out your own ass”.

So, my question is; if I feel someone’s not right, should I just ignore and delete?

Or should I continue with my polite response?

Thanks "

I must thank you for taking the time to reply to those people who don't interst you. I for one really do appreciate receiving a reply. It makes such a difference and reminds me that there are so many kind and decent people here.

I would also like to apologise on behalf of all the extraordinarily rude idiots who simply can't take a polite 'no thanks' as an answer and move on.

I hope you do continue to reply when you can. It says that we're not invisible.

I wish you every success and I hope you find what you're looking for.

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By *onkeyandBonesCouple
24 weeks ago

Staffordshire

We do the same, if it clear that they have read profile.

The ones where we get messages of "Hi" or "I'm horny are you" we generally just delete.

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

"I get a fair few messages, being a nice person I try and respond to as many as a can even if it’s to say thanks, but you’re not for me!

I wish them luck with swinging and delete.

On occasion I have had people thank me for taking the time to reply.

Some have said it’s nice not to be ignored.

However, on so many more occasions I get horrid replies… such as “Get out your own ass”.

So, my question is; if I feel someone’s not right, should I just ignore and delete?

Or should I continue with my polite response?

Thanks

I would also like to apologise on behalf of all the extraordinarily rude idiots who simply can't take a polite 'no thanks' as an answer and move on.

I hope you do continue to reply when you can. It says that we're not invisible.

I wish you every success and I hope you find what you're looking for. "

This is why I will continue to reply because most aren't disrespectful and it's not fair to tar everyone with the same brush.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
24 weeks ago

Reading

My biggest reason to reject someone is location which is not personal so I get polite replies.

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

Ignore the nasty comments your being the better person for being polite I would love to chat with you but for some reason I can't

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By *ngel7disguise OP Woman
24 weeks ago

Loughborough

Thank you everyone… you have restored my faith in my messaging technique!

And I will be taking a lot away from your responses.

I will continue to reply to people who have read my profile and taken the time to write a thoughtful message.

Those that send minimal ‘Hello’, etc, will be deleted (and if needed, blocked).

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By *issmorganWoman
24 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

I always reply where it's clear they've read my bio and made an effort, even it's a no thanks.

I do always block afterwards to stop any abuse or why nots etc.

When they've ignore what I've written, I just delete and I block if they've written a long description of what they'd do to me or sent gross pics.

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