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Why dont they sign the divorce papers?

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
24 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.

Before I ask the question. I will set the scene. I watched eat pray love with julia roberts, good movie, there she got surprised when the divorce papers finally got signed so that she could move on with life.

Why would a partner keep you waiting before they are signing it, sometimes years the wait, is it a form of punishment for rejecting them? I mean, there is no reason of why one couldnt sign it straight away, sure, no daubt that happens too. I wonder how often it does that.

That got me wondering what your view is about it, have you gone through a similar thing and what was the outcome of it? Do you also agree that it is a form of punishment or why do you think they do it?

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By *herrybakewellCouple
24 weeks ago

Staffordshire

It could be punishment as you say, but it could also be someone living in hope.

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By *ude LawMan
24 weeks ago

Harrogate

In *Eat Pray Love*, the protagonist, Elizabeth Gilbert, struggles with the divorce papers because of her emotional and psychological resistance to fully letting go of her past. Throughout the story, she’s grappling with a sense of identity and loss after the breakdown of her marriage. The hesitation to sign the papers symbolizes her internal conflict — she is not only physically separating from her husband but also from a life that she thought she would have.

In a deeper sense, it's also about her fear of finality. By not signing, she clings to the hope or possibility of reconnection, even though she knows that the relationship is over. This act highlights her journey of self-discovery and her need to work through her feelings of guilt, sadness, and uncertainty before moving on completely. The papers are a representation of her emotional struggle and the transition she is undergoing to create space for herself to heal and grow.

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
24 weeks ago

BRIDPORT


"In *Eat Pray Love*, the protagonist, Elizabeth Gilbert, struggles with the divorce papers because of her emotional and psychological resistance to fully letting go of her past. Throughout the story, she’s grappling with a sense of identity and loss after the breakdown of her marriage. The hesitation to sign the papers symbolizes her internal conflict — she is not only physically separating from her husband but also from a life that she thought she would have.

In a deeper sense, it's also about her fear of finality. By not signing, she clings to the hope or possibility of reconnection, even though she knows that the relationship is over. This act highlights her journey of self-discovery and her need to work through her feelings of guilt, sadness, and uncertainty before moving on completely. The papers are a representation of her emotional struggle and the transition she is undergoing to create space for herself to heal and grow."

What’s your name, Barry Norman?

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
24 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

Usually, if you're waiting on divorce papers, it's probably unrepresentative to continue calling them a partner.

My understanding is it's often to do with finalising the financial side of it rather than the emotional.

Even dissolved marriages where they've both agreed to the terms can take a lot of time to actually file and process. The signing is important, but it's not the be all and end all.

I do remember my mother trying to have my dad declared dead as he'd not been in the country for years and he wouldn't respond to her attempts to divorce him.

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By *oneyBee200Woman
24 weeks ago

Kent

The last thread of control they have over you or it was in my case. Everything was ignored until papers were served in person.

Haven't seen the film just personal experience.

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
24 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.


"It could be punishment as you say, but it could also be someone living in hope. "
Hi _herrybakewell, yes, you are right there, it could also be someone living in hope too

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By *vaRoseWoman
24 weeks ago

Ankh-Morpork

The law in the U.K. has now changed and doesn’t require the other party being divorced to agree or even respond to the court orders. As long as there’s no legal reason to prevent divorce and the papers were legally served with proof of service, a divorce will be granted to the sole applicant

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
24 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.


"Usually, if you're waiting on divorce papers, it's probably unrepresentative to continue calling them a partner.

My understanding is it's often to do with finalising the financial side of it rather than the emotional.

Even dissolved marriages where they've both agreed to the terms can take a lot of time to actually file and process. The signing is important, but it's not the be all and end all.

I do remember my mother trying to have my dad declared dead as he'd not been in the country for years and he wouldn't respond to her attempts to divorce him."
Hi _reytothefairies, yes, you are right there, it is unrepresentative to call them a partner then too

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By *each needs some creamWoman
24 weeks ago

Ilfracombe

My divorce was so anneicable my Ex went to the divorce courts got the paperwork and come over here filled we it in the afternoon ourselves and sent it back.

When final letter came I signed it and sent it back the same day.

We didn't get a solicitor involved which probably helped spend things up and made it a lot cheaper.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
24 weeks ago

Reading

My story is a bit different. I separated from my husband 2003 but add I was living in the States staying married allowed me to stay on his health insurance which was excellent.

Now I've left the States and we still haven't got divorced as we are now in separate continents as I moved back with my 2 daughters leaving my ex and my son in the USA. So it's now too complicated. I have totally moved on with my life and didn't need a piece of paper to facilitate that. I don't ever want to get remarried so it's possible we will never divorce.

We were together for 11 years and it's now been 31 years since our wedding day. We remain friends and coparents although the kids are all grown now.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
24 weeks ago

Crumpet Castle


"In *Eat Pray Love*, the protagonist, Elizabeth Gilbert, struggles with the divorce papers because of her emotional and psychological resistance to fully letting go of her past. Throughout the story, she’s grappling with a sense of identity and loss after the breakdown of her marriage. The hesitation to sign the papers symbolizes her internal conflict — she is not only physically separating from her husband but also from a life that she thought she would have.

In a deeper sense, it's also about her fear of finality. By not signing, she clings to the hope or possibility of reconnection, even though she knows that the relationship is over. This act highlights her journey of self-discovery and her need to work through her feelings of guilt, sadness, and uncertainty before moving on completely. The papers are a representation of her emotional struggle and the transition she is undergoing to create space for herself to heal and grow."

Freud! I fuckin' knew it was you.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
24 weeks ago

Crumpet Castle


"My story is a bit different. I separated from my husband 2003 but add I was living in the States staying married allowed me to stay on his health insurance which was excellent.

Now I've left the States and we still haven't got divorced as we are now in separate continents as I moved back with my 2 daughters leaving my ex and my son in the USA. So it's now too complicated. I have totally moved on with my life and didn't need a piece of paper to facilitate that. I don't ever want to get remarried so it's possible we will never divorce.

We were together for 11 years and it's now been 31 years since our wedding day. We remain friends and coparents although the kids are all grown now."

Aren't you concerned about financial complications on his or your death ?

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By *ude LawMan
24 weeks ago

Harrogate


"In *Eat Pray Love*, the protagonist, Elizabeth Gilbert, struggles with the divorce papers because of her emotional and psychological resistance to fully letting go of her past. Throughout the story, she’s grappling with a sense of identity and loss after the breakdown of her marriage. The hesitation to sign the papers symbolizes her internal conflict — she is not only physically separating from her husband but also from a life that she thought she would have.

In a deeper sense, it's also about her fear of finality. By not signing, she clings to the hope or possibility of reconnection, even though she knows that the relationship is over. This act highlights her journey of self-discovery and her need to work through her feelings of guilt, sadness, and uncertainty before moving on completely. The papers are a representation of her emotional struggle and the transition she is undergoing to create space for herself to heal and grow.

Freud! I fuckin' knew it was you. "

Freud or fraud?

This could make an excellent game show. ITV or Channel 5 would definitely pick it up.

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
24 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.


"The last thread of control they have over you or it was in my case. Everything was ignored until papers were served in person.

Haven't seen the film just personal experience. "
Hi honeybee. I see, yes, it is the last thread of control they over you too

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By *rHotNottsMan
24 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I think for a lot of people the deal is not done until the paperwork is signed, there is always a risk that someone could come after more.

In my experience, though typically it’s the guys who are quick to sign because they’ve hidden a bunch of stuff and they don’t wanna get caught

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By *enelope2UWoman
24 weeks ago

Doesn't matter cant block distances

Reasons

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By *mileyculturebelfastMan
24 weeks ago

belfast

Why make it easy for someone who was a cunt to you.

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
24 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.


"The law in the U.K. has now changed and doesn’t require the other party being divorced to agree or even respond to the court orders. As long as there’s no legal reason to prevent divorce and the papers were legally served with proof of service, a divorce will be granted to the sole applicant "
Hi eva, that is good the law in the uk have changed, yes, as long as there is no legal reason to prevent the divorce too

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By *vonne5exMan
24 weeks ago

Doncaster

I was in bed with the 1st wife when the degree absolute came through the door

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

[Removed by poster at 16/02/25 21:16:22]

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

I've delayed mine. Because there's no real benefit to me to do something he wants so I'm not putting myself out to get it done quickly. I didn't do it deliberately and it's not a punishment as I'm sure I'm better off now, and I'm definitely better off not being with someone that doesn't love me, it's just happened that way. It's just not been a priority for me. He'll get what he wants eventually. As someone else said above it can do ahead without my signature or involvement if that's the way i choose to play it.

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By *ittle Miss TinkerbellWoman
24 weeks ago

your head

It can be an element of control or that a mutual agreement hasn't been reached regarding childcare, finances etc. I stayed married for two years after my separation. A divorce just wasn't at the forefront of my mind and made no difference, then it was requested and I signed. I didn't want or need anything from him so it was quick and easy. Had a little emotional moment when the decre absolute came through but that was it.

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
24 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.


"My story is a bit different. I separated from my husband 2003 but add I was living in the States staying married allowed me to stay on his health insurance which was excellent.

Now I've left the States and we still haven't got divorced as we are now in separate continents as I moved back with my 2 daughters leaving my ex and my son in the USA. So it's now too complicated. I have totally moved on with my life and didn't need a piece of paper to facilitate that. I don't ever want to get remarried so it's possible we will never divorce.

We were together for 11 years and it's now been 31 years since our wedding day. We remain friends and coparents although the kids are all grown now."
Hi catnip. I see, yes, a bit different, as you dont plan to get remarried, that is good you are still friends and coparents too

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
24 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.


"My divorce was so anneicable my Ex went to the divorce courts got the paperwork and come over here filled we it in the afternoon ourselves and sent it back.

When final letter came I signed it and sent it back the same day.

We didn't get a solicitor involved which probably helped spend things up and made it a lot cheaper. "
Hi peach, that is good how quick it went and sent it back the same day, yes, by not involving a solicitor it probably speeds things up too

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By *onertoneMan
24 weeks ago

Eastbourne

Can I just say you need to take out a Clean Break Order as well as long as the other party agrees to sign it cos the other party can still claim half of your inheritance even if it’s years later

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
24 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.


"I think for a lot of people the deal is not done until the paperwork is signed, there is always a risk that someone could come after more.

In my experience, though typically it’s the guys who are quick to sign because they’ve hidden a bunch of stuff and they don’t wanna get caught"
Yes, there is always a risk someone could come after more too

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
24 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.


"I've delayed mine. Because there's no real benefit to me to do something he wants so I'm not putting myself out to get it done quickly. I didn't do it deliberately and it's not a punishment as I'm sure I'm better off now, and I'm definitely better off not being with someone that doesn't love me, it's just happened that way. It's just not been a priority for me. He'll get what he wants eventually. As someone else said above it can do ahead without my signature or involvement if that's the way i choose to play it. "
Hi scarlet. I see yes, it is also good to delay it too

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