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Poor Sex Education

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

There's an article on the BBC website about the fact that OFSTED claim that schools are failing our children in educating about sex and relationships which leads to a more highly sexualised culture...

What are your memories of sex ed and do you think it lead you to be highly sexualised? Or is it a load of bollocks!?

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

What sex education? We had one lesson where the girls where split from the boys, we where taught about periods and think they where taught about sperm. Thats it, the grand total of my sex education

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

[Removed by poster at 01/05/13 15:59:12]

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

We did the condom on a cucumber thing in Year 9 and did the embarrassing talking about willies and fannies!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What sex education? We had one lesson where the girls where split from the boys, we where taught about periods and think they where taught about sperm. Thats it, the grand total of my sex education"

Same!

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"We did the condom on a cucumber thing in Year 9 and did the embarrassing talking about willies and fannies!

"

Dont know how old year 9 are but i did that at home with callum. I taught him all about relationships as well as the sex side, i taught him about girls being hormonal around period time and all sorts. Plus we watched television programmes together.

It should be taught in schools, no doubt about it, but parents have to take responsibility for their children. Cant expect schools to do every thing

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By *heScotandthegirlCouple
over a year ago

London & Edinburgh

I don't think education is failing our kids in this area...

I think as a culture we haven't got up to speed with how sexualised we make everything and the consequences.

I have no idea how you begin to educate kids, wither as a parent or teacher. All i know is it's important to do it.

Kids will see porn and be encouraged to swap pics at such a young age now. We can't ignore that.

As with everything, there's good and bad sides but i don't think we can ignore what kids now see. My _iew is discussing it is better than ignoring it.

My education was at a Catholic girls school, by a nun! Safe to say i've found the rest out for myself... lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"We did the condom on a cucumber thing in Year 9 and did the embarrassing talking about willies and fannies!

Dont know how old year 9 are but i did that at home with callum. I taught him all about relationships as well as the sex side, i taught him about girls being hormonal around period time and all sorts. Plus we watched television programmes together.

It should be taught in schools, no doubt about it, but parents have to take responsibility for their children. Cant expect schools to do every thing"

Its 14. My mum bought me a very graphic book and told me if I wanted to know anything else to ask her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think it should be taught at school at all... I think it should be left to the parents.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sex ed?

I remember giving my dad a few pointers when I was 16 - is that what you meant?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What sex education? We had one lesson where the girls where split from the boys, we where taught about periods and think they where taught about sperm. Thats it, the grand total of my sex education"

Same here!

I was thinking about this last night oddly enough. I've always known I was 'different'. I don't see things the way others do. Well the vanilla type people or whatever the title would be.

I think I was born this way, it wasn't learned. All my pals were shagging around in school but I wasn't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't think it should be taught at school at all... I think it should be left to the parents. "

I disagree. I didn't get any info from my parents. Hmmm not sure teachers are any better though, to be fair.

Ok maybe in an ideal world.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we did have sex education but i didnt realy understand all of it, most of it went in one ear and out the other.

i sent a letter to womans own problem page and they sent me a booklet called boys and girls growing up.

also there was a series on sex education in the daily mirror by marjorie proops and i picked up things from womens magazines and my brothers porn magazines.

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush


"I don't think it should be taught at school at all... I think it should be left to the parents. "

Why? Some parents can't even tie there own shoe laces, let alone school their kids.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't think it should be taught at school at all... I think it should be left to the parents. "

not all parents are capable to though.

i said to my mum what does fucking mean and she said what the rabbits were doing the other day.

she did try but she didnt use the right words or anything, so i was more confused than ever.

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

Without a cohesive sex ed curriculum schools are at a loss as to what to teach. Then there is the assumption that individual teachers will have sufficient knowledge to be able to teach it effectively. When very good sex ed programmes have been trialled in schools the media has often jumped all over them, misleading the public into believing all sorts of salacious nonsense about the course being taught. This in turn has led parents to believe schools have been teaching the 'wrong' thing and refused to allow their children to be taught.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My two boys sex education is my responsibility! So that when the time comes for them, they know what its about and how to stay safe! That way, theres no-one else to blame if things go wrong.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

[Removed by poster at 01/05/13 17:14:34]

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

parents failed them first, then maybe teachers

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge


"parents failed them first, then teachers"

Teachers' hands are tied as to what they can or cannot teach.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We did the condom on a cucumber thing in Year 9 and did the embarrassing talking about willies and fannies!

"

Same at school and at home mum and dad shoved a book about bodies and sex at me.

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By *lanwoodMan
over a year ago

Alton

I'm 61 so probably older than most on here. I had no sex education at school at all, and my parents were too embarrassed to give any at home, except for a rather awkward conversation with my Dad about 2 hours before my wedding (I was 21). He was so embarrassed that I just stopped him and said it was OK and that I knew all about it. I learned most things behind the bike shed at school. Mind you, the internet has been most enlightening!

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"parents failed them first, then teachers

Teachers' hands are tied as to what they can or cannot teach."

that's why I deleted and changed to maybe

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By *cottishrichMan
over a year ago

Here and there


"What sex education? We had one lesson where the girls where split from the boys, we where taught about periods and think they where taught about sperm. Thats it, the grand total of my sex education

Same! "

Same.

I remember there was a little bit about condoms and STD's but it was mostly about pregnancy, not very educational at all.

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By *lanwoodMan
over a year ago

Alton


"we did have sex education but i didnt realy understand all of it, most of it went in one ear and out the other.

i sent a letter to womans own problem page and they sent me a booklet called boys and girls growing up.

also there was a series on sex education in the daily mirror by marjorie proops and i picked up things from womens magazines and my brothers porn magazines.

"

If its going in one ear and out the other, you are either doing it wrong or found an absolute treasure!

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge


"parents failed them first, then teachers

Teachers' hands are tied as to what they can or cannot teach.

that's why I deleted and changed to maybe"

Ah, right - sorry - quoted before you did that! I think the education system could do more - but the DfE just need to get the ball rolling properly with proper schemes of work. It's not given the prominence that it should be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think anything has really changed since I was at school (66-77). We got precious little sex-ed which was of any use - most of it being purely mechanical.

About 5-6 years ago I ended up with three of my sons girlfriends from school sitting around my kitchen table with ME giving them the kind of sex-ed they clearly weren't getting at secondary school. They were all about 15ish at the time.

This little 'lesson' was sparked by my son telling me that all the girls in his year believing that you only had to take the Pill 'when you had a boyfriend'. Some were taking it for two weeks, stopping for a month, then taking it again for - say - three weeks when the next B/F was on the scene. They GENUINELY believed that was correct. I was staggered how poor their understanding was, so 'Aunty Big Ted' gave them a 'proper' lesson and dispelled a LOT of old wives tales and just plain disjointed teaching they had received.

I was so appalled at how naive they were that I raised this with my sons mentor at school. She had to agree with me that the teaching of sex-ed has not improved in the last 25 years - at least!

Very worrying....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Without a cohesive sex ed curriculum schools are at a loss as to what to teach. Then there is the assumption that individual teachers will have sufficient knowledge to be able to teach it effectively. When very good sex ed programmes have been trialled in schools the media has often jumped all over them, misleading the public into believing all sorts of salacious nonsense about the course being taught. This in turn has led parents to believe schools have been teaching the 'wrong' thing and refused to allow their children to be taught."

100% agree

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge


"I don't think anything has really changed since I was at school (66-77). We got precious little sex-ed which was of any use - most of it being purely mechanical.

About 5-6 years ago I ended up with three of my sons girlfriends from school sitting around my kitchen table with ME giving them the kind of sex-ed they clearly weren't getting at secondary school. They were all about 15ish at the time.

This little 'lesson' was sparked by my son telling me that all the girls in his year believing that you only had to take the Pill 'when you had a boyfriend'. Some were taking it for two weeks, stopping for a month, then taking it again for - say - three weeks when the next B/F was on the scene. They GENUINELY believed that was correct. I was staggered how poor their understanding was, so 'Aunty Big Ted' gave them a 'proper' lesson and dispelled a LOT of old wives tales and just plain disjointed teaching they had received.

I was so appalled at how naive they were that I raised this with my sons mentor at school. She had to agree with me that the teaching of sex-ed has not improved in the last 25 years - at least!

Very worrying.... "

It certainly HAS changed! I was taught that a woman got pregnant when two gametes fused to create a zygote. WTF! Had no clue what that was! Nothing about contraception, STIs, periods. Nothing. They do, at the very least, teach that in schools nowadays - though I often think they teach certain things rather too late.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At what age would u think is the right time to tell you're child about sex education? (Jill) xx

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge


"At what age would u think is the right time to tell you're child about sex education? (Jill) xx"

With my own daughter I chose to tell her, in appropriate language for her age, whenever she asked me a question. So, for example, she asked at around 3 or 4 where babies come from. I told her that they grew in mummies' tummies. She was happy with that for a while. Later - I think around 6 or 7 she asked how they got there. I told her that a mummy had a tiny egg in her body and that a daddy had to give her a seed to put with it to make a baby. Later on again - can't remember the age but probably 9 or 10 she asked how he did that. Then I told her all about sexual organs and how they worked - again in appropriate language for her.

She always felt totally comfortable asking because she always got a question answered honestly in a way she could understand.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"At what age would u think is the right time to tell you're child about sex education? (Jill) xx

With my own daughter I chose to tell her, in appropriate language for her age, whenever she asked me a question. So, for example, she asked at around 3 or 4 where babies come from. I told her that they grew in mummies' tummies. She was happy with that for a while. Later - I think around 6 or 7 she asked how they got there. I told her that a mummy had a tiny egg in her body and that a daddy had to give her a seed to put with it to make a baby. Later on again - can't remember the age but probably 9 or 10 she asked how he did that. Then I told her all about sexual organs and how they worked - again in appropriate language for her.

She always felt totally comfortable asking because she always got a question answered honestly in a way she could understand."

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By *lyce and Mister MCouple
over a year ago

Falkirk

Mum taught me basics, very limited at school. I made early discoveries and was highly sexed cos I like it certainly not cos of mr woodhouse the old rank social studies teacher going redfaced at the word "vagina"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"At what age would u think is the right time to tell you're child about sex education? (Jill) xx"

My eldest boy has just turned 12, but i've been discussing the dos and don'ts with him for the last year before he goes into secondary! Will be doing the same with his little brother!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thank you my daughter is 8 and came home to tell me she knew what sex was and went on to tell me wasn't sure what to say to her so I just let her explain in her words what it was and then asked how she felt now she knows xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't think anything has really changed since I was at school (66-77). We got precious little sex-ed which was of any use - most of it being purely mechanical.

About 5-6 years ago I ended up with three of my sons girlfriends from school sitting around my kitchen table with ME giving them the kind of sex-ed they clearly weren't getting at secondary school. They were all about 15ish at the time.

This little 'lesson' was sparked by my son telling me that all the girls in his year believing that you only had to take the Pill 'when you had a boyfriend'. Some were taking it for two weeks, stopping for a month, then taking it again for - say - three weeks when the next B/F was on the scene. They GENUINELY believed that was correct. I was staggered how poor their understanding was, so 'Aunty Big Ted' gave them a 'proper' lesson and dispelled a LOT of old wives tales and just plain disjointed teaching they had received.

I was so appalled at how naive they were that I raised this with my sons mentor at school. She had to agree with me that the teaching of sex-ed has not improved in the last 25 years - at least!

Very worrying....

It certainly HAS changed! I was taught that a woman got pregnant when two gametes fused to create a zygote. WTF! Had no clue what that was! Nothing about contraception, STIs, periods. Nothing. They do, at the very least, teach that in schools nowadays - though I often think they teach certain things rather too late."

Too late, and what I found was that it was completely disjointed. It seemed to be taught as a series of unrelated facts and not as a whole subject. Sex-Ed is one subject that should be taken out of the constraints of the Nat Curriculum and taught at the speed the children need - not at a pace dictated by someone in the DfE (or whatever they are called this week).

There is no such thing as 'too soon' to teach sex-ed - or, as was the case with my boys, just answer their questions in an age-appropriate way. This is where other countries, specially in Europe, have the edge on us.

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By *ikkiBWoman
over a year ago

Falkirk

I got no sex ed whatsoever at high school and only a couple day thing at primary school. So id agree that schools let people down when it comes to teaching sex ed. Then they wonder why teen pregnancy goes up when they don't teach anyone about it

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By *heScotandthegirlCouple
over a year ago

London & Edinburgh


"

About 5-6 years ago I ended up with three of my sons girlfriends from school sitting around my kitchen table with ME giving them the kind of sex-ed they clearly weren't getting at secondary school. They were all about 15ish at the time.

"

This concerns me... nothing personal to the poster but the assumption that a lot of parents assume that SE is being given in school...

Parents in my opinion should take the lead but the fact schools have to deal with this is that a lot of parents don't discuss with their kids.

It's a tough situation for teachers to be in i think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is by no means any reflection on my ability to perform on demand, but I never did SE at school.

I can vaguely remember one lesson in it.

But then unless it was Sport I wasn't really interested in school much.

Ben

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge


"Thank you my daughter is 8 and came home to tell me she knew what sex was and went on to tell me wasn't sure what to say to her so I just let her explain in her words what it was and then asked how she felt now she knows xx"

My take on it is, if they are old enough to ask, they are old enough to know. Just as long as parents are open, honest and comfortable with it and treat it as any other kinds of questions kids ask, then I see no problem. We cannot be all embarrassed about it. After all, we had to have sex to conceive them in the first place!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thank you for advice I've always been honest with her for all her questions as would rather her ask me than try to find it on the Internet, just wasn't sure if 8years old was to young xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"After all, we had to have sex to conceive them in the first place!"

Nope. I was hatched.

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts

Don't remember much useful to be honest and I only left school in 2005...

I remember being taught the ins and outs of the female body and we were made to put a condom on a banana (but even that was wrong!) but that's about it. Nothing about STI's, the actual deed itself, or really anything much about the male anatomy.

A lot of us knew all that already anyway though. - The joys of the internet!

I wouldn't trust schools alone when I have my own kids though. I would feel better talking to them myself and making them feel comfortable about asking any questions.

- Amy. x

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge


"Thank you for advice I've always been honest with her for all her questions as would rather her ask me than try to find it on the Internet, just wasn't sure if 8years old was to young xx"

Not at all - I think it's about the right age when they are becoming curious. Some kids become curious before then, some after, each child is different. So simply answering when they ask is the best.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I remember watching a brief video which showed a man and woman walking around the house naked,then we tried to put condoms on chair legs and finished off with a video of a woman giving birth which resulted in 2 people fainting in the classroom.

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge


"I remember watching a brief video which showed a man and woman walking around the house naked,then we tried to put condoms on chair legs and finished off with a video of a woman giving birth which resulted in 2 people fainting in the classroom."

Was it the boys who fainted?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not entirely the schools fault, it's poor parenting that is the bigger issue

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I remember watching a brief video which showed a man and woman walking around the house naked,then we tried to put condoms on chair legs and finished off with a video of a woman giving birth which resulted in 2 people fainting in the classroom.

Was it the boys who fainted? "

It was actually how did you guess?

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By *pecifically1Woman
over a year ago

Hull


"What sex education? We had one lesson where the girls where split from the boys, we where taught about periods and think they where taught about sperm. Thats it, the grand total of my sex education"

This - when I had two step daughters we discussed everything. We had conversations about hemaphrodytes and such items. As news articles came up we discussed it logically and without tittilation..

they were both just becoming teenagers..we were ready for periods etc..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stis, women's cycles, pregnancy, relationships and respect, different types of contraception, family life, infertility treatments and causes ARE taught in schools. Like anything else the effectiveness will depend on the pupil. When those dolls were first introduced by some schools with the intention of showing the vulnerable girls what life with a newborn was really like, some had a rise in teen pregnancy as the girls liked the attention they received, which is exactly what maked them vulnerable.

Regardless of what is taught in schools, the biggest influences on children are the parents. What happens at home is what they will regard as normal.

And I really do not think it is the schools job, or the parents job, to teach a child how to take the contraceptive pill. Surely that is the responsibility of the GP who prescribed it?!

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge


"I remember watching a brief video which showed a man and woman walking around the house naked,then we tried to put condoms on chair legs and finished off with a video of a woman giving birth which resulted in 2 people fainting in the classroom.

Was it the boys who fainted?

It was actually how did you guess?"

Read an article about some men who were made to watch a birthing video - not so long ago. Think it might have been America and they were in their 20s. They were horrified and actually one nearly vomited.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't think it should be taught at school at all... I think it should be left to the parents.

Why? Some parents can't even tie there own shoe laces, let alone school their kids. "

because parents should decide on that score what they want their kids to know. And let's face it.. they are parents.. they must have had sex once or twice.

I wanted to refuse my kids sex education at school... But decided that they would only get the hand me down version from their friends at school if I did that. I just didn't think at juniors they needed to know.

I am always happy to talk to my kids and most kids hate the lessons anyway.

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

I barely remember school sex ed lessons, can remember having a talk about periods a year after I'd started mine (thought I was dying!!!) I'm still waiting for "the talk" from my mam so have no idea what it is - if anyone would like to enlighten me...

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I was in a group at primary school in 1971 (ages 5/6 and 6/7) given basic sex education. I went home and told my mother and she said she had nothing to add. When my period started when I was 9 she showed me the drawer with the sanitary towels and gave me a belt for the towels.

I bought a book when I was 11 (The Little Red Book) and then at 13 secondary school we had a week of themed lessons.

Most of the condoms ended up as water bombs. The phallus we were given to apply the condom was very erect and solid. The real things were a bit shocking when I discovered them at 17 as they kept moving around and were sometimes floppy.

If it has been left to my parents I would still be waiting.

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush


"I don't think it should be taught at school at all... I think it should be left to the parents.

Why? Some parents can't even tie there own shoe laces, let alone school their kids.

because parents should decide on that score what they want their kids to know. And let's face it.. they are parents.. they must have had sex once or twice.

I wanted to refuse my kids sex education at school... But decided that they would only get the hand me down version from their friends at school if I did that. I just didn't think at juniors they needed to know.

I am always happy to talk to my kids and most kids hate the lessons anyway. "

Not all parents are like you though. A lot of kids wouldn't get told anything. Hence the requirement for school education.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Total balls in my school and what i got off my mum i thought i would die if i had sex....I remember girls talking about it at school and thinking...they must be lying they are still alive!

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)


"After all, we had to have sex to conceive them in the first place!"

Not here - my son isn't quite the immaculate conception - just the artificial insemination version! lol

Sex ed at school was an awkward, fairly elderly lady teacher talking about a ladies "monthlies" complete with very red face, and a chat from the school nurse (whos daughter was in my class) telling us about STIs and condoms.

As for with my son - well he's 4 and gets curious, so I answer honestly in a way he will understand... the other day he came tearing through from the bathroom, wheeked his trousers down, hauled his willy out of the way, and grabbed his balls asking "mammy what are these lumps?" my answer, "they're testicles and they make your willy work properly" he was happy, and his question was answered.

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