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" Come across a few in here that have caused some women emotional and physical pain and distress, so I’m interested in hearing more about this topic x" Good to know that someone wants to actually UNDERSTAND this mental illness. Start by reading reputable medical magazines and not some fly by night article in a magazine or the internet. The word is bandied about now to mean any partner who someone thinks treated them badly ..... That does not make a narcissist. Many people with the disorder lead very productive , creative and succesfull lives. | |||
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"You talk about narcissists as if they are different species Shag. Would you do the same about any other kind of difference or disorder ? Are you going to round up all the narcissists in the world and do something to eradicate them from the planet ? I read an interesting article about a man who did something like that once. " Morning, I have not heard anyone called ( or been referring to ) as Shag since I was an apprentice in the late 80s. That takes me back. Every one at work used to call each other Shag or Colin. The good old days! | |||
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"They die " That’s deep man. | |||
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" Come across a few in here that have caused some women emotional and physical pain and distress, so I’m interested in hearing more about this topic x" Hi _leasinglipznhips, yes, it is an interesting topic, you are right there, some of them cause, emotional, physical pain and distress too x | |||
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"Most people face isolation as they get older....narcissist or not! " True. P.S. not a narcissist. | |||
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"Most people face isolation as they get older....narcissist or not! True. P.S. not a narcissist. " Only a narcissist would say that ! | |||
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"Most people face isolation as they get older....narcissist or not! True. P.S. not a narcissist. Only a narcissist would say that !" Gasp ....... maybe it's me. | |||
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"Most people face isolation as they get older....narcissist or not! True. P.S. not a narcissist. Only a narcissist would say that ! Gasp ....... maybe it's me. " A narcissist wouldn't say that. | |||
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"Most people face isolation as they get older....narcissist or not! True. P.S. not a narcissist. Only a narcissist would say that ! Gasp ....... maybe it's me. A narcissist wouldn't say that." Or maybe a clever narcissist would. They're the worst. | |||
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"I lived with one and now I don't. that's how it ends. Period . she's had two broken relationships since" When did she get her diagnosis ? | |||
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" Come across a few in here that have caused some women emotional and physical pain and distress, so I’m interested in hearing more about this topic x Good to know that someone wants to actually UNDERSTAND this mental illness. Start by reading reputable medical magazines and not some fly by night article in a magazine or the internet. The word is bandied about now to mean any partner who someone thinks treated them badly ..... That does not make a narcissist. Many people with the disorder lead very productive , creative and succesfull lives. "  The majority of people's ex partners seem to be narcissists but the reality is its a mental illness that has to be diagnosed. Being a asshole does not make someone a narcissist. | |||
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"This word is thrown about so casually. Everyone’s ex on here is a narcissist "Or gaslighting 🤭 | |||
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"This word is thrown about so casually. Everyone’s ex on here is a narcissist "Every woman’s ex you mean! I’ve literally had them messaging me , and they know so much about this other me…..  | |||
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"This word is thrown about so casually. Everyone’s ex on here is a narcissist "Guess we are all one then as who doesn't have an ex or 2.....oh does that make me a serial narcissist?? | |||
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" Come across a few in here that have caused some women emotional and physical pain and distress, so I’m interested in hearing more about this topic x Good to know that someone wants to actually UNDERSTAND this mental illness. Start by reading reputable medical magazines and not some fly by night article in a magazine or the internet. The word is bandied about now to mean any partner who someone thinks treated them badly ..... That does not make a narcissist. Many people with the disorder lead very productive , creative and succesfull lives. " There once was a successful guy in last century Germany who had a mental illness no one treated him. He was just entertained for a decade. | |||
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"Good to know that someone wants to actually UNDERSTAND this mental illness. Start by reading reputable medical magazines and not some fly by night article in a magazine or the internet. The word is bandied about now to mean any partner who someone thinks treated them badly ..... That does not make a narcissist. Many people with the disorder lead very productive , creative and succesfull lives. " So, stay away from Tic-Tok for an education, that's what you're saying GC, right?! (because it's painfully rife with 'experts' you see!) 😉 | |||
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"True Narcisistic Personalities are scary. They are manipulative and play by different rules. The problem is that it is impossible for a normal person to imagine that they would do, say and lie like they do." Hi _lusher, yes, you are right there, they are manipulative and play by different rules too | |||
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"My ex is a narcissist, diagnosed in 2022, after I left because of his ways. His daughter, who I was very close with, told me. He's been in 'treatment' and, from what I've been told, his old friendship group is now back on speaking terms with him, and he's apparently not treating everyone like a pawn in his own world. Whether it is true or not, I don't know, as most people didn't realise they were a game piece to him. " Hi _inkshy. I see, that is good you left him, yes, they never change their behaviour of who they are with too | |||
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"My ex is a narcissist, diagnosed in 2022, after I left because of his ways. His daughter, who I was very close with, told me. He's been in 'treatment' and, from what I've been told, his old friendship group is now back on speaking terms with him, and he's apparently not treating everyone like a pawn in his own world. Whether it is true or not, I don't know, as most people didn't realise they were a game piece to him. " It is very rare for a therapist to continue treatment with someone they believe has NPD as it’s hard wired in them. They usually do the “I don’t think we’re compatible” talk and let them leave. Primary narcissism is something children grow out of and some borderline personalities carry in to adulthood. This can be tempered with therapy. | |||
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"Good to know that someone wants to actually UNDERSTAND this mental illness. Start by reading reputable medical magazines and not some fly by night article in a magazine or the internet. The word is bandied about now to mean any partner who someone thinks treated them badly ..... That does not make a narcissist. Many people with the disorder lead very productive , creative and succesfull lives. So, stay away from Tic-Tok for an education, that's what you're saying GC, right?! (because it's painfully rife with 'experts' you see!) 😉" I've never Tik Tok'd n I think it's about time I did ........ hmmmmmmm I'll let you know what I think | |||
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"Good to know that someone wants to actually UNDERSTAND this mental illness. Start by reading reputable medical magazines and not some fly by night article in a magazine or the internet. The word is bandied about now to mean any partner who someone thinks treated them badly ..... That does not make a narcissist. Many people with the disorder lead very productive , creative and succesfull lives. So, stay away from Tic-Tok for an education, that's what you're saying GC, right?! (because it's painfully rife with 'experts' you see!) 😉 I've never Tik Tok'd n I think it's about time I did ........ hmmmmmmm I'll let you know what I think "Me neither granny. I’ve not even twittered or instagrammed yet! I think I can live happily without it all though | |||
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"I have FB and X but never use them cos I find those banal and childish and full of crap and ads.... " ...stay away from Tic-Tok then GC, for Christ's sake!! 😖 | |||
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"Answer to OP. They form relationships with pleasers unknowingly seeking trauma bonds or end up serial dating along with other antisocial people who can’t hold down a relationship long." Yes, they form relationships with pleasers too | |||
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" Hi _inkshy. I see, that is good you left him, yes, they never change their behaviour of who they are with too "100%. I don't believe he has truly changed, I think he had run out of people to manipulate and pulled them back in... | |||
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". It is very rare for a therapist to continue treatment with someone they believe has NPD as it’s hard wired in them. They usually do the “I don’t think we’re compatible” talk and let them leave. Primary narcissism is something children grow out of and some borderline personalities carry in to adulthood. This can be tempered with therapy." I actually doubted he even stayed in therapy, so what you say makes perfect sense. Hearing stories from his mum, I think his began when he was around 9 or 10. It's quite dangerous as he has such a feeling of superiority and needing admiring, thinking he is better than everyone, and fantasies of being powerful he actually pretended to be a solicitor (he was a legal case worker) and lost someone his house in his divorce, and lost a family member of mine their employment tribunal, as he obviously wasn't even able to represent. That's when it all started to crumble. | |||
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". It is very rare for a therapist to continue treatment with someone they believe has NPD as it’s hard wired in them. They usually do the “I don’t think we’re compatible” talk and let them leave. Primary narcissism is something children grow out of and some borderline personalities carry in to adulthood. This can be tempered with therapy. I actually doubted he even stayed in therapy, so what you say makes perfect sense. Hearing stories from his mum, I think his began when he was around 9 or 10. It's quite dangerous as he has such a feeling of superiority and needing admiring, thinking he is better than everyone, and fantasies of being powerful he actually pretended to be a solicitor (he was a legal case worker) and lost someone his house in his divorce, and lost a family member of mine their employment tribunal, as he obviously wasn't even able to represent. That's when it all started to crumble." Wow, what a piece of work! Assuming he’s a narc, he was in all probability between 5 and 7 when it fixed in his personality but became more visible by 9 or 10. He was building a a facade to hide overwhelming feelings of guilt or shame, low self esteem or self worth. He never learned to accept that we all have dark sides or how to achieve internal validation. He doesn’t have feelings of superiority at all, just a mantra of superiority to sooth himself with that’s so deeply ingrained he can’t hear it any more. | |||
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"This word is thrown about so casually. Everyone’s ex on here is a narcissist "lol. Very true. | |||
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"They become president of usa " | |||
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Unless someone actually has a diagnosis... I don't know. Stay away from trends and videos looking to utilise that but without actual formal qualifications - Bob the Life Coach has an ex, not a job where he can identify narcissists. | |||
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"Not all people who display narcissistic characteristics ARE narcissists Not all people who ARE narcissists are diagnosed. " And this is partly what I was getting at - there must be a proportion of NPD people who have not been diagnosed. And I also agree that we can all have traits at certain times, it can be asituational or environmental reaction. | |||
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"Would someone with NPD seek out a diagnosis, though. Under what circumstances would it arise? Genuinely curious. " Someone with NPD would in all probability never suspect themselves. Therapists will not want to work with People with NPD, they can’t be fixed. People who do get diagnosed with NPD are often there through a criminal case or a condition of bail. | |||
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"Not all people who display narcissistic characteristics ARE narcissists Not all people who ARE narcissists are diagnosed. And this is partly what I was getting at - there must be a proportion of NPD people who have not been diagnosed. And I also agree that we can all have traits at certain times, it can be asituational or environmental reaction. " Narcissistic responses are much more common than NPD. A good acid test for narcissism is forgiveness. They have no capacity for it. They can do public displays if forgiveness when it shows them in a good light but in times of insecurity their list of slights, large or small will all come up again. | |||
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"Not all people who display narcissistic characteristics ARE narcissists Not all people who ARE narcissists are diagnosed. And this is partly what I was getting at - there must be a proportion of NPD people who have not been diagnosed. And I also agree that we can all have traits at certain times, it can be asituational or environmental reaction. " I would suggest that as behavioural conditions go, narcissism is probably the least likely to be diagnosed, people with other behavioural conditions are far more likely seek an answer for their behaviour as a means to understanding it and to help them manage it An actual narcissist would probably not have that thought process. Disclaimer -: these are just observations of an individual with no medical qualifications. | |||
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"Would someone with NPD seek out a diagnosis, though. Under what circumstances would it arise? Genuinely curious. Someone with NPD would in all probability never suspect themselves. Therapists will not want to work with People with NPD, they can’t be fixed. People who do get diagnosed with NPD are often there through a criminal case or a condition of bail." That's what I was thinking, it would need to be enforced on them. Is there any overlap between NPD and anti social personality disorder? | |||
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"Would someone with NPD seek out a diagnosis, though. Under what circumstances would it arise? Genuinely curious. Someone with NPD would in all probability never suspect themselves. Therapists will not want to work with People with NPD, they can’t be fixed. People who do get diagnosed with NPD are often there through a criminal case or a condition of bail. That's what I was thinking, it would need to be enforced on them. Is there any overlap between NPD and anti social personality disorder? " Loads of overlap. ASPD don’t care what you think about them, they don’t crave your respect like NPD. ASPD mellows with age, NPD does not. ASPD use aggression to get their way, NPD use charm, triangulation and gaslighting. | |||
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"Would someone with NPD seek out a diagnosis, though. Under what circumstances would it arise? Genuinely curious. Someone with NPD would in all probability never suspect themselves. Therapists will not want to work with People with NPD, they can’t be fixed. People who do get diagnosed with NPD are often there through a criminal case or a condition of bail. That's what I was thinking, it would need to be enforced on them. Is there any overlap between NPD and anti social personality disorder? Loads of overlap. ASPD don’t care what you think about them, they don’t crave your respect like NPD. ASPD mellows with age, NPD does not. ASPD use aggression to get their way, NPD use charm, triangulation and gaslighting." I'd love to discuss further, but don't want to hijack Shags thread. | |||
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"Shag, don’t let anyone tell you it is wrong to be curious about something. If you have the brains to have a question, you have the brains to have an answer." Curiosity is fantastic , but not a guarantee of understanding. If responses to questions were absorbed readily and learned we could all be solving quantum mechanics in our sleep. | |||
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"Neurodiversity does deserve better understanding, but like other forms of diversity it may not actually happen, sadly. Likewise, even the labels adopted with good intentions can be used to differentiate. There are also some difficulties around pathologising mental health issues using fixed categories. None of this is easy and maybe an anonymous forum on a swingers site isn’t the best place for these sorts of discussion…." I’ve no idea why you feel the need to shut down discussion between adults. Narcissism is not classified as neural diversity. As an ND person myself I find your belief that they are concerning. Also narcissism is not a protected characteristic so you need not fear for their discrimination. We are not diagnosing anyone online, just sharing knowledge where there is curiosity. The ability to avoid wrong’uns is a good lesson for any of us. We are all adults here and discerning enough to take on board or discard any comments we read. If you find my comments triggering, feel free to block me. | |||
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"Neurodiversity does deserve better understanding, but like other forms of diversity it may not actually happen, sadly. Likewise, even the labels adopted with good intentions can be used to differentiate. There are also some difficulties around pathologising mental health issues using fixed categories. None of this is easy and maybe an anonymous forum on a swingers site isn’t the best place for these sorts of discussion…." Personality disorders and neurodiversity are two separate entities. Personality disorders are behaviours and characteristics, whereas ND is to do with brain function. There are some labels that are helpful, and promote understanding, or access to much needed support. And why shouldn't we discuss these topics on a swinging site? If it helps people understand a different perspective, or simply to understand, then I don't see a problem. In all likelihood, there are many people with NPD without a diagnosis. Some will be able to manage it and adapt to accepted societal norms. Others will not. Asking whether the ex has received a diagnosis, or invalidating someone's lived experience is not helpful. | |||
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" Hi _inkshy. I see, that is good you left him, yes, they never change their behaviour of who they are with too
100%. I don't believe he has truly changed, I think he had run out of people to manipulate and pulled them back in... "Yes, you are right there, they usually run out of people to manipulate and pulled them back in too | |||
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