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"Ok... This may come across as ignorant and ill informed and you are all welcome to correct me. Don't women and couples on here just have the pick of the litter for meets and have unlimited options to meet? I find it hard to believe that meets are hard to arrange apart from the dreamers of course " If you're not fussed about the quality of those you meet then yes, sure. Some of us are picky. | |||
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"Couples definitely do not have the pick, it’s much more difficult to get a 3 way or 4 way attraction. Women also get bombarded on here too" How is it difficult for couples especially? I'd happy to join a couple as I have done in the past a few times | |||
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"Couples definitely do not have the pick, it’s much more difficult to get a 3 way or 4 way attraction. Women also get bombarded on here too How is it difficult for couples especially? I'd happy to join a couple as I have done in the past a few times " Not especially but there’s not always mutual attractions and we don’t take one for the team so to speak | |||
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"Couples definitely do not have the pick, it’s much more difficult to get a 3 way or 4 way attraction. Women also get bombarded on here too How is it difficult for couples especially? I'd happy to join a couple as I have done in the past a few times " Because both partners have to fancy you and you them I presume so the odds of finding that are less favourable, statistically. | |||
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"Couples definitely do not have the pick, it’s much more difficult to get a 3 way or 4 way attraction. Women also get bombarded on here too How is it difficult for couples especially? I'd happy to join a couple as I have done in the past a few times Not especially but there’s not always mutual attractions and we don’t take one for the team so to speak " It's good to be picky... I have the same issue on here. I have had offers which are not my type, and my lack of being able to accommodate doesn't help as it seems nobody but guys can accommodate. | |||
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"Couples definitely do not have the pick, it’s much more difficult to get a 3 way or 4 way attraction. Women also get bombarded on here too How is it difficult for couples especially? I'd happy to join a couple as I have done in the past a few times Because both partners have to fancy you and you them I presume so the odds of finding that are less favourable, statistically. " How does that work for the husband/bf if he is straight and you're looking for guys? I'd think as long as the guys are on the same page it's about what the woman's attraction is to the guy no? | |||
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"Thanks everyone for replying. This is opening my eyes to the other side of the site. I understand you get a lot of unwanted options... But doesn't that mean you could easily filter through and/or seek out profiles? " You can’t filter by everything tho. If I specifically wanted to find you and your body type, I can’t filter by height and shape. | |||
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"Couples definitely do not have the pick, it’s much more difficult to get a 3 way or 4 way attraction. Women also get bombarded on here too How is it difficult for couples especially? I'd happy to join a couple as I have done in the past a few times Not especially but there’s not always mutual attractions and we don’t take one for the team so to speak It's good to be picky... I have the same issue on here. I have had offers which are not my type, and my lack of being able to accommodate doesn't help as it seems nobody but guys can accommodate. " Sadly some think of that as a red flag for someone cheating. Everyone has their own reasons though. | |||
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"Couples definitely do not have the pick, it’s much more difficult to get a 3 way or 4 way attraction. Women also get bombarded on here too How is it difficult for couples especially? I'd happy to join a couple as I have done in the past a few times Because both partners have to fancy you and you them I presume so the odds of finding that are less favourable, statistically. How does that work for the husband/bf if he is straight and you're looking for guys? I'd think as long as the guys are on the same page it's about what the woman's attraction is to the guy no?" No. That is not always the dynamic. That’s the reason Some couples are hot wives or cuckold or vixen stag etc lots of variations. | |||
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"? You can’t filter by everything tho. If I specifically wanted to find you and your body type, I can’t filter by height and shape. " I meant by looking through the messages and profiles? If you get say 50 people message at least 5 or them could be of interest no? | |||
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" Sadly some think of that as a red flag for someone cheating. Everyone has their own reasons though." This I can understand. My reasoning is due to me living with my parents. Long story of family illness and being the eldest. | |||
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"Thanks everyone for replying. This is opening my eyes to the other side of the site. I understand you get a lot of unwanted options... But doesn't that mean you could easily filter through and/or seek out profiles? " No. For every single male that meets a couple or single woman, that's only one meet for one couple or single woman. Mutual compatibility is not easily found. Yes, I could have mediocre sex with someone that doesn't interest or excite me several times a day if I was so inclined. But I'm not. In general there aren't a high percentage of women who don't find that tedious. I want people that are my people. And that's a lot less than 0.01% of people. You say it's easy for couples, it's not. Finding someone that matches both parties preference is less likely than finding someone that matches only one. So unless it's an any hole or pole is a goal situation of course it's more difficult. There's been plenty of times when I was swinging as a couple that I wasn't into someone my partner fancied, or vice versa. If we only played together that means neither of those people are any good, while individually we could all have got laid 💜 | |||
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" How does that work for the husband/bf if he is straight and you're looking for guys? I'd think as long as the guys are on the same page it's about what the woman's attraction is to the guy no? No. That is not always the dynamic. That’s the reason Some couples are hot wives or cuckold or vixen stag etc lots of variations. " Could you expand on this a little? I understand the whole cuck scenario. But a straight guy isn't going to have attraction to another straight guy... I'd think it was just down to how well the guys get along | |||
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"Thanks everyone for replying. This is opening my eyes to the other side of the site. I understand you get a lot of unwanted options... But doesn't that mean you could easily filter through and/or seek out profiles? No. For every single male that meets a couple or single woman, that's only one meet for one couple or single woman. Mutual compatibility is not easily found. Yes, I could have mediocre sex with someone that doesn't interest or excite me several times a day if I was so inclined. But I'm not. In general there aren't a high percentage of women who don't find that tedious. I want people that are my people. And that's a lot less than 0.01% of people. You say it's easy for couples, it's not. Finding someone that matches both parties preference is less likely than finding someone that matches only one. So unless it's an any hole or pole is a goal situation of course it's more difficult. There's been plenty of times when I was swinging as a couple that I wasn't into someone my partner fancied, or vice versa. If we only played together that means neither of those people are any good, while individually we could all have got laid 💜" Thanks for the long and in-depth reply... I can understand how this could be an issue for you... But surely it's not that slim pickings? Guys outnumber both women and couples by probably 5 of not 10 to 1. I can understand distance being an issue at times but no guys are of interest at all? | |||
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"Quantity of offers does not equal quality offers" exactly this! | |||
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"What others have said… yes sure if I wanted a meet with just anyone I could probably manage it quite quickly. I choose quality over quantity… add to that that what I look for isn’t easy to find even in those genuine, seemingly decent men that message me so it’s rare that I meet for even a social never mind anything else." What's stopping you from reaching out to profiles that interest you? | |||
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" How does that work for the husband/bf if he is straight and you're looking for guys? I'd think as long as the guys are on the same page it's about what the woman's attraction is to the guy no? No. That is not always the dynamic. That’s the reason Some couples are hot wives or cuckold or vixen stag etc lots of variations. Could you expand on this a little? I understand the whole cuck scenario. But a straight guy isn't going to have attraction to another straight guy... I'd think it was just down to how well the guys get along " But the straight guy might not want his wife fucking an Adonis. Husband might get jealous. There has to be agreement by all parties. Husband wants his wife with someone he is comfortable with. Or that he thinks she looks good with. Or that looks like him. Or is opposite looking to him. So many variables. Not every boy or girls fancies every other boy or girl. And pick of the litter. Two ways to view. First pick of those available but also only able to pick from rubbish …  | |||
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"Thanks for the long and in-depth reply... I can understand how this could be an issue for you... But surely it's not that slim pickings? Guys outnumber both women and couples by probably 5 of not 10 to 1. I can understand distance being an issue at times but no guys are of interest at all? " I'm being generous when I say 0.01% of people are my people. Out of 100 mediocre options that don't excite me, I'd rather stay home and wank than waste my time on a "you'll do I suppose" 💜 | |||
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"? You can’t filter by everything tho. If I specifically wanted to find you and your body type, I can’t filter by height and shape. I meant by looking through the messages and profiles? If you get say 50 people message at least 5 or them could be of interest no? " Ok so say I've deleted all the invisible people/those who did send a picture and I'm not attracted to. That's left me the 5 Then I read the profile again .. delete a few who literally have no interests in common Another because the distance is way to far Scratch another because they /their verifications give me the ick ( on how the actual on a meet) How many hayi left .. oh one Ok he ticks a few boxes, made an effort with the message... I'll reply... Chat a bit... That doesn't mean that one is the right one... | |||
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" How does that work for the husband/bf if he is straight and you're looking for guys? I'd think as long as the guys are on the same page it's about what the woman's attraction is to the guy no? No. That is not always the dynamic. That’s the reason Some couples are hot wives or cuckold or vixen stag etc lots of variations. Could you expand on this a little? I understand the whole cuck scenario. But a straight guy isn't going to have attraction to another straight guy... I'd think it was just down to how well the guys get along But the straight guy might not want his wife fucking an Adonis. Husband might get jealous. There has to be agreement by all parties. Husband wants his wife with someone he is comfortable with. Or that he thinks she looks good with. Or that looks like him. Or is opposite looking to him. So many variables. Not every boy or girls fancies every other boy or girl. And pick of the litter. Two ways to view. First pick of those available but also only able to pick from rubbish … "Could you expand on the jealousy aspect of your point? I'd have thought that couples were secure in their relationships and just saw it as fun for the female to have in cuck etc scenarios. If ego is the issue then shouldn't they be reconsidering opening their relationship? | |||
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"What others have said… yes sure if I wanted a meet with just anyone I could probably manage it quite quickly. I choose quality over quantity… add to that that what I look for isn’t easy to find even in those genuine, seemingly decent men that message me so it’s rare that I meet for even a social never mind anything else. What's stopping you from reaching out to profiles that interest you?" Too busy looking thru the 50 profiles you mentioned earlier. Also as I have said previously, you can’t filter by personality or height or leg length or marital status or even availability to accommodate. It’s graft. | |||
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"? You can’t filter by everything tho. If I specifically wanted to find you and your body type, I can’t filter by height and shape. I meant by looking through the messages and profiles? If you get say 50 people message at least 5 or them could be of interest no? Ok so say I've deleted all the invisible people/those who did send a picture and I'm not attracted to. That's left me the 5 Then I read the profile again .. delete a few who literally have no interests in common Another because the distance is way to far Scratch another because they /their verifications give me the ick ( on how the actual on a meet) How many hayi left .. oh one Ok he ticks a few boxes, made an effort with the message... I'll reply... Chat a bit... That doesn't mean that one is the right one... " You make it sound like you're looking for a relationship and not a hookup. Don't meant to come across as ignorant if I've misinterpreted that | |||
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"What others have said… yes sure if I wanted a meet with just anyone I could probably manage it quite quickly. I choose quality over quantity… add to that that what I look for isn’t easy to find even in those genuine, seemingly decent men that message me so it’s rare that I meet for even a social never mind anything else. What's stopping you from reaching out to profiles that interest you? Too busy looking thru the 50 profiles you mentioned earlier. Also as I have said previously, you can’t filter by personality or height or leg length or marital status or even availability to accommodate. It’s graft. " You can do accommodate and age though... The best things in life are never easy after all | |||
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" How does that work for the husband/bf if he is straight and you're looking for guys? I'd think as long as the guys are on the same page it's about what the woman's attraction is to the guy no? No. That is not always the dynamic. That’s the reason Some couples are hot wives or cuckold or vixen stag etc lots of variations. Could you expand on this a little? I understand the whole cuck scenario. But a straight guy isn't going to have attraction to another straight guy... I'd think it was just down to how well the guys get along But the straight guy might not want his wife fucking an Adonis. Husband might get jealous. There has to be agreement by all parties. Husband wants his wife with someone he is comfortable with. Or that he thinks she looks good with. Or that looks like him. Or is opposite looking to him. So many variables. Not every boy or girls fancies every other boy or girl. And pick of the litter. Two ways to view. First pick of those available but also only able to pick from rubbish … "You make it sound like the guy is insecure of his wife having too good of a time or the guy being too attractive... But that's the guys ego though and I'd think in this lifestyle the ego gets left at the door. | |||
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" How does that work for the husband/bf if he is straight and you're looking for guys? I'd think as long as the guys are on the same page it's about what the woman's attraction is to the guy no? No. That is not always the dynamic. That’s the reason Some couples are hot wives or cuckold or vixen stag etc lots of variations. Could you expand on this a little? I understand the whole cuck scenario. But a straight guy isn't going to have attraction to another straight guy... I'd think it was just down to how well the guys get along But the straight guy might not want his wife fucking an Adonis. Husband might get jealous. There has to be agreement by all parties. Husband wants his wife with someone he is comfortable with. Or that he thinks she looks good with. Or that looks like him. Or is opposite looking to him. So many variables. Not every boy or girls fancies every other boy or girl. And pick of the litter. Two ways to view. First pick of those available but also only able to pick from rubbish …
Could you expand on the jealousy aspect of your point? I'd have thought that couples were secure in their relationships and just saw it as fun for the female to have in cuck etc scenarios. If ego is the issue then shouldn't they be reconsidering opening their relationship?"I don’t think ego and jealously align. It’s agreement to open the relationship, as you say, but there will be conditions attached to that and trust involved. When I had an open relationship previously we had the rule that we always had to come home to the other partner. No sleep overs. We communicated well and trusted that the other would always come home to sleep. These dynamics aren’t a checklist or a standard operating procedure for swingers. There’s not an “idiots guide to swinging” it’s individual to each person and therefore the more people, the more difficult (possibly) to satisfy. | |||
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"I can’t say how many messages we get daily as I open them whenever I log in, but let’s say it’s between 50 - 100 depending on whether we post a new pic. I’d say 97/98% of those messages are from people who haven’t read our profile and they are blank/bland profiles, dick/action pics as profile pics, too far, too old or just not our type. Then you have couples profiles where mostly there’s pics of the women and dick pics of the guy. Deleting, or a polite no takes time. Now times that by 2,3,4,5 for single women and there’s your answer. That’s daily!!! More traffic doesn’t mean you have the pick - you have to find the diamonds in the rough. K" Can you not set up age filters and other things? Say it takes 10 seconds to open a message and decide they haven't read anything in your profile. You could do 100 messages in about 10 minutes 15 tops no? | |||
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" How does that work for the husband/bf if he is straight and you're looking for guys? I'd think as long as the guys are on the same page it's about what the woman's attraction is to the guy no? No. That is not always the dynamic. That’s the reason Some couples are hot wives or cuckold or vixen stag etc lots of variations. Could you expand on this a little? I understand the whole cuck scenario. But a straight guy isn't going to have attraction to another straight guy... I'd think it was just down to how well the guys get along But the straight guy might not want his wife fucking an Adonis. Husband might get jealous. There has to be agreement by all parties. Husband wants his wife with someone he is comfortable with. Or that he thinks she looks good with. Or that looks like him. Or is opposite looking to him. So many variables. Not every boy or girls fancies every other boy or girl. And pick of the litter. Two ways to view. First pick of those available but also only able to pick from rubbish …
You make it sound like the guy is insecure of his wife having too good of a time or the guy being too attractive... But that's the guys ego though and I'd think in this lifestyle the ego gets left at the door. "I’m trying to help you understand why it isn’t as simple as picking any single guy from the list of people who make contact. It’s just not that. It’s more. And with a couple it’s usually both partners who decide. Nothing to do with ego. As you say that’s left behind. It may be a kink thing, eg it has to be a guy with brown eyes and dark hair. It’s could be any number of things that they are looking for but they are looking for it together. Goodness me. I’m so thankful I’m single! | |||
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" I don’t think ego and jealously align. It’s agreement to open the relationship, as you say, but there will be conditions attached to that and trust involved. When I had an open relationship previously we had the rule that we always had to come home to the other partner. No sleep overs. We communicated well and trusted that the other would always come home to sleep. These dynamics aren’t a checklist or a standard operating procedure for swingers. There’s not an “idiots guide to swinging” it’s individual to each person and therefore the more people, the more difficult (possibly) to satisfy. " Surely ego and jealousy go hand in hand? Jealousy is triggered by an act which the other person doesn't agree with which if it is a more attractive person, bigger d size etc... that's where the ego side kicks in if the fem was ok with it and the male wasn't | |||
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"I can’t say how many messages we get daily as I open them whenever I log in, but let’s say it’s between 50 - 100 depending on whether we post a new pic. I’d say 97/98% of those messages are from people who haven’t read our profile and they are blank/bland profiles, dick/action pics as profile pics, too far, too old or just not our type. Then you have couples profiles where mostly there’s pics of the women and dick pics of the guy. Deleting, or a polite no takes time. Now times that by 2,3,4,5 for single women and there’s your answer. That’s daily!!! More traffic doesn’t mean you have the pick - you have to find the diamonds in the rough. K Can you not set up age filters and other things? Say it takes 10 seconds to open a message and decide they haven't read anything in your profile. You could do 100 messages in about 10 minutes 15 tops no?" Yes you’re right 
Thanks for the tips | |||
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"Not to be ignorant, but as the husband half finding men for my wife 1000% true. It is much easier than I anticipated when we joined six months ago. It does create some work for me. Like many have said we get a lot of junk. Say out of a 100 messages 15 pique our interest. Of those 5 may be worthit after some conversation then 1 or 2 turn into a physical relationship. " This I can understand as most guys are messaging one handed in sure | |||
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"? You can’t filter by everything tho. If I specifically wanted to find you and your body type, I can’t filter by height and shape. I meant by looking through the messages and profiles? If you get say 50 people message at least 5 or them could be of interest no? Ok so say I've deleted all the invisible people/those who did send a picture and I'm not attracted to. That's left me the 5 Then I read the profile again .. delete a few who literally have no interests in common Another because the distance is way to far Scratch another because they /their verifications give me the ick ( on how the actual on a meet) How many hayi left .. oh one Ok he ticks a few boxes, made an effort with the message... I'll reply... Chat a bit... That doesn't mean that one is the right one... You make it sound like you're looking for a relationship and not a hookup. Don't meant to come across as ignorant if I've misinterpreted that " No. If you read my profile it's clear what I am looking for  | |||
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"Not to be ignorant, but as the husband half finding men for my wife 1000% true. It is much easier than I anticipated when we joined six months ago. It does create some work for me. Like many have said we get a lot of junk. Say out of a 100 messages 15 pique our interest. Of those 5 may be worthit after some conversation then 1 or 2 turn into a physical relationship. " There ya go OP, there’s your stats. 1 or 2 out of 100 for this couple. | |||
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" I’m trying to help you understand why it isn’t as simple as picking any single guy from the list of people who make contact. It’s just not that. It’s more. And with a couple it’s usually both partners who decide. Nothing to do with ego. As you say that’s left behind. It may be a kink thing, eg it has to be a guy with brown eyes and dark hair. It’s could be any number of things that they are looking for but they are looking for it together. Goodness me. I’m so thankful I’m single! " I do appreciate you taking the time. It does sound like a nightmare for sure | |||
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"I can’t say how many messages we get daily as I open them whenever I log in, but let’s say it’s between 50 - 100 depending on whether we post a new pic. I’d say 97/98% of those messages are from people who haven’t read our profile and they are blank/bland profiles, dick/action pics as profile pics, too far, too old or just not our type. Then you have couples profiles where mostly there’s pics of the women and dick pics of the guy. Deleting, or a polite no takes time. Now times that by 2,3,4,5 for single women and there’s your answer. That’s daily!!! More traffic doesn’t mean you have the pick - you have to find the diamonds in the rough. K Can you not set up age filters and other things? Say it takes 10 seconds to open a message and decide they haven't read anything in your profile. You could do 100 messages in about 10 minutes 15 tops no? Yes you’re right
Thanks for the tips "I love you x | |||
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"? You can’t filter by everything tho. If I specifically wanted to find you and your body type, I can’t filter by height and shape. I meant by looking through the messages and profiles? If you get say 50 people message at least 5 or them could be of interest no? Ok so say I've deleted all the invisible people/those who did send a picture and I'm not attracted to. That's left me the 5 Then I read the profile again .. delete a few who literally have no interests in common Another because the distance is way to far Scratch another because they /their verifications give me the ick ( on how the actual on a meet) How many hayi left .. oh one Ok he ticks a few boxes, made an effort with the message... I'll reply... Chat a bit... That doesn't mean that one is the right one... You make it sound like you're looking for a relationship and not a hookup. Don't meant to come across as ignorant if I've misinterpreted that " There's a lot on here not looking for just a hook up. There's some who find love on here (me). There are so many ways to use this site. I have two incredible partners - people on here need to be pretty amazing to add to the awesome that's already in my life. | |||
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"Not to be ignorant, but as the husband half finding men for my wife 1000% true. It is much easier than I anticipated when we joined six months ago. It does create some work for me. Like many have said we get a lot of junk. Say out of a 100 messages 15 pique our interest. Of those 5 may be worthit after some conversation then 1 or 2 turn into a physical relationship. There ya go OP, there’s your stats. 1 or 2 out of 100 for this couple. " 
Yeah I'm starting to see it now... Guess I've just always seen it as women and couple have it easier as they have the options rather than single guys having a hope and a prayer. And it definitely plays against me as I'm not the guy typing one handed looking for anything that gets wet in the right places | |||
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"It all depends on your dynamic. Can't speak for the single ladies here of course but as a couple, looking for other couples, it can be hard - especially if you are not a club attending couple as some people are and can tend to be a bit cliquey. You're looking for a four way attraction and that isn't the easiest of things. Of course, if you're a hotwife/cuckold couple or looking for another guy to join then I would imagine it's very easy as you will literally have the pick of your inbox so long as the Mrs fancies them. It can be very challenging to find a unicorn, as it seems like everyone on here wants one." Seems like it's not that easy to find a guy from how this thread has been explained | |||
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"Not to be ignorant, but as the husband half finding men for my wife 1000% true. It is much easier than I anticipated when we joined six months ago. It does create some work for me. Like many have said we get a lot of junk. Say out of a 100 messages 15 pique our interest. Of those 5 may be worthit after some conversation then 1 or 2 turn into a physical relationship. There ya go OP, there’s your stats. 1 or 2 out of 100 for this couple.
Yeah I'm starting to see it now... Guess I've just always seen it as women and couple have it easier as they have the options rather than single guys having a hope and a prayer. And it definitely plays against me as I'm not the guy typing one handed looking for anything that gets wet in the right places "Again you are not wrong yes it creates some work for me but I believe it's 1000% easier for us. Again I handle 99% of the conversation so this is from another man's perspective. I greatly appreciate the single men here but I am not envious of them. | |||
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"They have first pick of the runt. If they want that Champion, they've got to join everyone else here and put the hard work in. They probably have to put more work in, to be fair." Once that champion is well known in the community it can damn well feel like a competition. | |||
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"They have first pick of the runt. If they want that Champion, they've got to join everyone else here and put the hard work in. They probably have to put more work in, to be fair. Once that champion is well known in the community it can damn well feel like a competition." Every dog has it's day | |||
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"As part of a Hotwife couple where husband is straight and doesn’t play I have to say it has been pretty easy to arrange meets. He also doesn’t care what the guy looks like as long as I fancy them in fact he prefers if they are really good looking as he knows how turned on I’ll be and how much pleasure I’ll be getting 😁We wouldn’t do this if I didn’t have the final say in the guys I want to fuck. Of course this is just our dynamic I guess everyone’s different. As for jealousy I agree that isn’t an emotion that is conducive to a healthy relationship swinging or vanilla again just my opinion " Thanks for your reply. This is exactly what I thought swinging couples were like | |||
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"? You can’t filter by everything tho. If I specifically wanted to find you and your body type, I can’t filter by height and shape. I meant by looking through the messages and profiles? If you get say 50 people message at least 5 or them could be of interest no? Ok so say I've deleted all the invisible people/those who did send a picture and I'm not attracted to. That's left me the 5 Then I read the profile again .. delete a few who literally have no interests in common Another because the distance is way to far Scratch another because they /their verifications give me the ick ( on how the actual on a meet) How many hayi left .. oh one Ok he ticks a few boxes, made an effort with the message... I'll reply... Chat a bit... That doesn't mean that one is the right one... You make it sound like you're looking for a relationship and not a hookup. Don't meant to come across as ignorant if I've misinterpreted that " I think this is the crux of the matter. Many women are not looking for hookups nor ons but also not a relationship. | |||
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"What others have said… yes sure if I wanted a meet with just anyone I could probably manage it quite quickly. I choose quality over quantity… add to that that what I look for isn’t easy to find even in those genuine, seemingly decent men that message me so it’s rare that I meet for even a social never mind anything else. What's stopping you from reaching out to profiles that interest you?" I do occasionally, but mostly don’t. The way fab is, the majority of those interested would have reached out to me imo. | |||
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"What others have said… yes sure if I wanted a meet with just anyone I could probably manage it quite quickly. I choose quality over quantity… add to that that what I look for isn’t easy to find even in those genuine, seemingly decent men that message me so it’s rare that I meet for even a social never mind anything else. What's stopping you from reaching out to profiles that interest you? I do occasionally, but mostly don’t. The way fab is, the majority of those interested would have reached out to me imo." I tried and failed.   | |||
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"What others have said… yes sure if I wanted a meet with just anyone I could probably manage it quite quickly. I choose quality over quantity… add to that that what I look for isn’t easy to find even in those genuine, seemingly decent men that message me so it’s rare that I meet for even a social never mind anything else. What's stopping you from reaching out to profiles that interest you? I do occasionally, but mostly don’t. The way fab is, the majority of those interested would have reached out to me imo." I think you'd be pleasantly surprised by the reception you get if you did reach out more. | |||
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"What others have said… yes sure if I wanted a meet with just anyone I could probably manage it quite quickly. I choose quality over quantity… add to that that what I look for isn’t easy to find even in those genuine, seemingly decent men that message me so it’s rare that I meet for even a social never mind anything else. What's stopping you from reaching out to profiles that interest you? I do occasionally, but mostly don’t. The way fab is, the majority of those interested would have reached out to me imo." Not necessarily... Some may think that you are out of their league... Guys are overly hard on themselves when it comes to that and many men won't admit it but their self esteem is a lot lower than most might think. Women should really show some initiative and drop a few hints. Maybe a wink or even a message. Women have subtly made the first move since the beginning of time. Look up the handkerchief method women would use | |||
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"As part of a Hotwife couple where husband is straight and doesn’t play I have to say it has been pretty easy to arrange meets. He also doesn’t care what the guy looks like as long as I fancy them in fact he prefers if they are really good looking as he knows how turned on I’ll be and how much pleasure I’ll be getting 😁We wouldn’t do this if I didn’t have the final say in the guys I want to fuck. Of course this is just our dynamic I guess everyone’s different. As for jealousy I agree that isn’t an emotion that is conducive to a healthy relationship swinging or vanilla again just my opinion Thanks for your reply. This is exactly what I thought swinging couples were like " That's where you are going wrong then.. With couples their are so many different dynamics it definitely isn't one size fits all. Of course it would be much easier if the husband was straight and didn't get involved or mind who the wife picked to sleep with but that is a tiny percentage of the swinging lifestyle and dynamics. For us its totally different we only play together we are both bi and we only play with bi couples and the odd bi singles so their has to be a all around 4 way attraction. Then you have to deduct things that are not for us like pillow princesses or men in couples that will only suck a cock with a women involved as we like everyone to be involved with everyone. Then deduct the men that think it's ok to just address me and ignore the fact i have a husband. We are left with a extremely small percentage. We've thought in the past we have found someone that suits our dynamics only for them to say something which has totally put us off them. Which is why we have put up our filters and stick to clubs now. | |||
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"Thanks everyone. It seems like everyone has their own issues in their own way... And most of the people that play regularly have probably put the time in and, have set up a few regulars. I am looking to the get into the club scene a bit and will be going to quest on the 1st after the Leeds social. I have heard that clubs are a lot better but I guess only time will tell of that. " This is the most important post on this thread IMHO, especially for single men to read. It's obvious when someone is just up for a quick bunk up. It's also obvious when someone is willing to take the time to generate enough mutual interest and not dive straight in with the sex chat or a request to meet. There's no greater boost to your swinging experience, whether a couple or single of either sex, than playing the long game, networking and using organised socials to give people the chance to see the real you and show off your personality. Slowly slowly catchee monkey. 😉 *and I don't mean her up there ^^^ | |||
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