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Two things (saving two posts)

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By *ric-shawn OP   Man
26 weeks ago

By the beach...

Hi all, not been here long, and just dipping my toe in the forum waters, just a couple of things. Mere curiosity really

I see all the time on female profiles things like "please don't be rude, there's no need" or " thanks for the abusive message" and the likes. What does that achieve, I genuinely wonder what they get from that. As in my book that's just being nasty and horrible, for what gain?

And something that makes me also ponder is, (and may have been asked before)

Do nice guys always finish last?

I like to think I'm a nice guy. I'm respectful, not rude, probably a little timid on first impressions, and if a lady said anything rude, would probably giggle and say "she said a rude word" 🤦 what's the balance between nice guy and naughty boy. Can you be a bit of a wet wipe by being too nice. Or am I just not confident?

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By *endalshaggersCouple
26 weeks ago

Lake District


"Hi all, not been here long, and just dipping my toe in the forum waters, just a couple of things. Mere curiosity really

I see all the time on female profiles things like "please don't be rude, there's no need" or " thanks for the abusive message" and the likes. What does that achieve, I genuinely wonder what they get from that. As in my book that's just being nasty and horrible, for what gain?

SOME PEOPLE CANNOT HANDLE REJECTION OR BEING TOLD "NO THANKS". OR, SOME THINK THIS SITE IS FULL OF VERY "EASY" WOMEN WHO WILL JUMP INTO BED WITH THEM FOR VERY LITTLE EFFORT ON THEIR PART AND GET ANNOYED WHEN IT ISN'T SO THE ABUSE STARTS.

And something that makes me also ponder is, (and may have been asked before)

Do nice guys always finish last?

I like to think I'm a nice guy. I'm respectful, not rude, probably a little timid on first impressions, and if a lady said anything rude, would probably giggle and say "she said a rude word" 🤦 what's the balance between nice guy and naughty boy. Can you be a bit of a wet wipe by being too nice. Or am I just not confident?

"

FINE LINE BETWEEN BEING GENUINELY NICE AND FAWNING OVER SOMEONE/WET WIPE AS YOU PUT IT.

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By *ngel7disguiseWoman
26 weeks ago

Loughborough

As a single female on Fab I can tell you there are days when I get lots of messages…

Any respectful message that I receive, that has followed my profile request. I will politely reply to, even if this is to say that they’re not a match for me!

Sometimes people are polite back, but other times responses can be vile! I just delete and block.

Nice guys don’t always finish last as long as you’re genuine!

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By *eroLondonMan
26 weeks ago

Soho


"I see all the time on female profiles things like "please don't be rude, there's no need" or "thanks for the abusive message" and the likes. What does that achieve, I genuinely wonder what they get from that. As in my book that's just being nasty and horrible, for what gain?"

Most women (and some ladies) are often subjected to venomous messages or responses when offering a "no thank you". The perpetrators are usually men. That type of behaviour achieves nothing.


"And something that makes me also ponder is...Do nice guys always finish last?"

I genuinely don't understand this question, or the inference behind it.

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By *adeiteWoman
26 weeks ago

Stafford

People are dickheads

Most see this as a dial a fuck site

I get alot of abuse for a polite no thank you. Which is why most of us don't bother replying. But fabs rules do state no reply means not interested.

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By *naswingdressWoman
26 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

Why abusive messages?

Because they're overgrown children who have yet to learn that lashing out is not an appropriate thing to do and won't get them what they want.

On "nice guys"

As you say, it's a balance. Overgrown children don't get what they want. But similarly, simpering boring "nice" guys also don't get what they want. (There's a subset of these who believe that they can exchange "treat woman like a person" tokens for sex, and turn into aforementioned overgrown children when their mistake becomes apparent. "Nice guys finish last" can be a line from that subset. Like, the woman was so ungrateful that I treated her like a human. I won't do that again, because treating women like people is too high a cost for me)

I would say take your lead from the profile you're messaging. Reflect that energy back to them. You don't want to be rude, you don't want to be so deferential that you resemble wet cardboard in strength and interest.

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By *ouble-SidedCouple
26 weeks ago

Voldsøy

Genuine nice people? No they don't. "Front of the queue" for me! That being said... I've had males on here declaring what "nice guys" they are, to find out that, that is their own opinion; and mine differs.

I think we all like to make that decision for ourselves. But, if you don't agree, it can turn nasty. Ain't nobody got time for that!

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By *ornycougaWoman
26 weeks ago

WHEREVER I LAY MY HAT


"Hi all, not been here long, and just dipping my toe in the forum waters, just a couple of things. Mere curiosity really

I see all the time on female profiles things like "please don't be rude, there's no need" or " thanks for the abusive message" and the likes. What does that achieve, I genuinely wonder what they get from that. As in my book that's just being nasty and horrible, for what gain?

And something that makes me also ponder is, (and may have been asked before)

Do nice guys always finish last?

I like to think I'm a nice guy. I'm respectful, not rude, probably a little timid on first impressions, and if a lady said anything rude, would probably giggle and say "she said a rude word" 🤦 what's the balance between nice guy and naughty boy. Can you be a bit of a wet wipe by being too nice. Or am I just not confident?

"

If you think they are nasty and horrible then just block and move on 🤷

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By *ric-shawn OP   Man
26 weeks ago

By the beach...


"

And something that makes me also ponder is...Do nice guys always finish last?

I genuinely don't understand this question, or the inference behind it."

I'm not sure I do. I m not sure I even like the phrase. In past relationships, I've been told I've been a bit of a door mat, I don't think I've meant to be. I've tried to be amicable and given what they've asked for, I think?

This isn't a self deprecating post of whoa is me.

It's interesting the different opinions you get back.

As said some men are nice as pie and then turn into vile creatures from two words. "no thanks"

Maybe the question is do partners get 'bored' with being nice all the time? Surely not?

I have no idea. Forget I asked 🤦🤣

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
26 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

Nice guys don't finish last.

"Nice guys" who have to tell you they're nice guys because they fail to demonstrate it, and who think that being the bare minimum of remotely respectful to other humans means we should go flaps akimbo immediately, they don't finish at all.

All of my partners are nice people. None of them have ever had to tell me so. And considering nice is just a fraction the baseline for being a human I want to interact with, far below the things that actually draw me to a person sexually, it really isn't a factor worth considering to me 💜

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