FabSwingers.com forum: Handling rejection

By *exxyyDy11 OP Man
22 weeks ago

North West

Would you say how you handle rejection is a big component to being on this site? Just something I've been thinking about today.

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

Yes. But rejection on this site isn’t that deep to me as it’s mostly from strangers based on an initial attraction and message. Rejection I struggle with is from people I’ve connected with and genuinely fancy.

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
22 weeks ago

Brum

Expect nothing and just accept that it’s hard to put your real self forward online.

Rejection in person is a totally different thing.

Online… don’t give it a second thought.

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

Tell me your thoughts OP?

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

It can ruin my day

I once got dumped and the reason was I was wonderful just not the right type of wonderful. It’s been years and I still sometimes think wtf is the wrong type of wonderful?!

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

Oh I’ve just read the post properly. On fab it still sucks but it won’t ruin my day. Fab is a fairly superficial place at times so if an opening message is knocked back then I’d just assume they’re not attracted to me which isn’t a nice feeling but not the end of the world

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By *eltCuteMightDeleteWoman
22 weeks ago

Reading

Cry. That’s my response. And is what I’m doing right now because of rejection 😩

I feel like I’m far too sensitive to be in this place.

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

"Oh I’ve just read the post properly. On fab it still sucks but it won’t ruin my day. Fab is a fairly superficial place at times so if an opening message is knocked back then I’d just assume they’re not attracted to me which isn’t a nice feeling but not the end of the world "

How could someone not be attracted to you?!!!!!

Kidding.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
22 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

Not sure. I very rarely send messages so I don’t really have to deal with it too much. I imagine constantly getting rejected must affect people though. I hate doing it too. I’m one of those who doesn’t answer if I’m not interested. I’d hate to make someone feel crap about themselves 😕

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
22 weeks ago

The bottom of the River Ankh

"Would you say how you handle rejection is a big component to being on this site? Just something I've been thinking about today. "

I'm quite used to it now ... Just going to keep my thoughts to myself from now on 🤣

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By *andering Welsh GuyMan
22 weeks ago

All over the place

Being a single male I almost expect it, we are in the minority

How some guys get pissy and pout and kick off etc (I've seen messages received by a friend) is truly embarrassing

The entitlement that some guys have is nuts

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

I just move on, I spent most of my younger years not handling rejection well.

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

How could someone not be attracted to you?!!!!!

Kidding. "

I always ask them if they’re blind or stupid when they’re not attracted to me. Then report them

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By *JB1954Man
22 weeks ago

Reading

For me. Either send , receive communication in one way or another on Fab. Then further messages. No reply . Move on . Keep trying .

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

How could someone not be attracted to you?!!!!!

Kidding.

I always ask them if they’re blind or stupid when they’re not attracted to me. Then report them "

Jamie. Man’s name. Man behaviour. I like

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

How could someone not be attracted to you?!!!!!

Kidding.

I always ask them if they’re blind or stupid when they’re not attracted to me. Then report them

Jamie. Man’s name. Man behaviour. I like

Maybe I’ll start telling them they’re fat slags anyway. Women in mens field

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By *andering Welsh GuyMan
22 weeks ago

All over the place

How could someone not be attracted to you?!!!!!

Kidding.

I always ask them if they’re blind or stupid when they’re not attracted to me. Then report them

Jamie. Man’s name. Man behaviour. I like

Maybe I’ll start telling them they’re fat slags anyway. Women in mens field "

Haha brilliant

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By *exxyyDy11 OP Man
22 weeks ago

North West

"Tell me your thoughts OP? "

I used to get not handle rejection well when I was younger. But now I just think, why waste my energy getting annoyed. So I just move on. Took me a long time to handle rejection well.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
22 weeks ago

Lincolnshire

Rejection on here means nothing. People/we will just move on to the next person. People are superficial in their attraction unless it’s reciprocated.

If there’s a connection then it’ll mean more but it’s usually circumstance rather than attraction that’s the change then.

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

How could someone not be attracted to you?!!!!!

Kidding.

I always ask them if they’re blind or stupid when they’re not attracted to me. Then report them

Jamie. Man’s name. Man behaviour. I like

Maybe I’ll start telling them they’re fat slags anyway. Women in mens field "

Top trend that was. I enjoyed it.

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By *enegadeMMan
22 weeks ago

Witney

Afternoon OP

Rejection on fab should not be taken to heart I think.

I only say this because it feels so detached from reality …. Where else are there thousands of guys vying for the attention of the handful (not quite I know but in comparison) of couples and ladies??

You can’t be for everyone …and the likelihood of finding someone who you are is small ….both being online / your message being seen before it’s lost in the masses / etc etc ….

We just have to accept and enjoy the other parts …and if no rejection and something comes from it… what a bonus that is

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

How could someone not be attracted to you?!!!!!

Kidding.

I always ask them if they’re blind or stupid when they’re not attracted to me. Then report them

Jamie. Man’s name. Man behaviour. I like

Maybe I’ll start telling them they’re fat slags anyway. Women in mens field

Top trend that was. I enjoyed it.

Hated it. The only ones I got through were so London specific I didn’t understand half of them. Not a single mention of tractors

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By *exxyyDy11 OP Man
22 weeks ago

North West

"Afternoon OP

Rejection on fab should not be taken to heart I think.

You can’t be for everyone …and the likelihood of finding someone who you are is small ….both being online / your message being seen before it’s lost in the masses / etc etc ….

We just have to accept and enjoy the other parts …and if no rejection and something comes from it… what a bonus that is

I absolutely agree

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

How could someone not be attracted to you?!!!!!

Kidding.

I always ask them if they’re blind or stupid when they’re not attracted to me. Then report them

Jamie. Man’s name. Man behaviour. I like

Maybe I’ll start telling them they’re fat slags anyway. Women in mens field

Top trend that was. I enjoyed it.

Hated it. The only ones I got through were so London specific I didn’t understand half of them. Not a single mention of tractors"

Not gonna lie, that’s too bad

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By *weetiepie99Woman
22 weeks ago

cardiff

Oh on here it doesn't bother me. I rarely send a first message or on the very rare occasion I have, we've met.

Away from here it's harder, especially when moving to another platform for communication, all seems to be going well then nothing. That I find difficult as quite often there's no explanation

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
22 weeks ago

The bottom of the River Ankh

"Oh on here it doesn't bother me. I rarely send a first message or on the very rare occasion I have, we've met.

Away from here it's harder, especially when moving to another platform for communication, all seems to be going well then nothing. That I find difficult as quite often there's no explanation "

This ...

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By *angtidy42Couple
22 weeks ago

Redditch

Next, no need to worry about a thanks but no thanks.

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

I grows on you as you become more resistant handling rejection in the right way It’s their choice rightly or wrongly they’re the ones who could be missing out

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

In person or online…..I give it no thought after the initial “oh ok” moment.

My expectations are that I’ll be rejected, so when I’m not, it’s a wonderful feeling.

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By *tevenTellyCouple
22 weeks ago

Newmarket

I do what I can to prevent this from happening to my wife by filtering out those i think would.

Still the first guy we decided to meet for sexy fun no showed at the motel even after meeting first for just a social. That devastated her for a bit.

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By *aughty50sCouple
22 weeks ago

Yorkshire - but we travel a lot

"In person or online…..I give it no thought after the initial “oh ok” moment.

My expectations are that I’ll be rejected, so when I’m not, it’s a wonderful feeling. "

Agree online, we don't give it a second thought. In person can be slightly more disappointing, but still fine. Best to say up front than waste anyone's time. What *is* more difficult to get our heads round though, is when a person or couple is initially keen, and then rejects us because they didn't read our profile to the end first

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By *ay W. BeauWoman
22 weeks ago

Wolvo

"Yes. But rejection on this site isn’t that deep to me as it’s mostly from strangers based on an initial attraction and message. Rejection I struggle with is from people I’ve connected with and genuinely fancy. "

Very this!

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By *uchessdoeWoman
22 weeks ago

Northampton

I think everyone needs an approach to dealing with rejection when you join Fab: no one should feel rejection is inevitable or not shoot their shot because of fear, but you need to be realistic, given the numbers, distances, and the nature of attraction.

The absolute worst people are those who feel an absolute entitlement to attention and sex, and deal with rejection like abusive babies.

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By *exxyyDy11 OP Man
22 weeks ago

North West

"I think everyone needs an approach to dealing with rejection when you join Fab: no one should feel rejection is inevitable or not shoot their shot because of fear, but you need to be realistic, given the numbers, distances, and the nature of attraction.

The absolute worst people are those who feel an absolute entitlement to attention and sex, and deal with rejection like abusive babies. "

I agree. A female friend was showing me the messages she gets when she rejected men. The entitlement is through the roof. Constant death threats and abuse. I just don't get it.

Move on, don't start getting abusive.

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By *oiluvfunMan
22 weeks ago

Penrith

"Would you say how you handle rejection is a big component to being on this site? Just something I've been thinking about today. "

I guess so? It's very easy to handle in here though? A 'Thanks but no' just gets a block and delete in return, so I get on with my day afterwards? Compare that to the ignorance and blanking you receive as a single guy in clubs, that's far harder to deal with....

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By *uchessdoeWoman
22 weeks ago

Northampton

The absolute worst people are those who feel an absolute entitlement to attention and sex, and deal with rejection like abusive babies.

I agree. A female friend was showing me the messages she gets when she rejected men. The entitlement is through the roof. Constant death threats and abuse. I just don't get it.

Move on, don't start getting abusive. "

100%, it's really simple to either not reply to a rejection or just say "OK" and move along.

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By *atman_and_PoisonIvyCouple
22 weeks ago

The Batcave, nr. Cannock

This, 100%....

You can't get hurt by someone you don't know or you've never met

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By *Jblue321Man
22 weeks ago

chester

"Would you say how you handle rejection is a big component to being on this site? Just something I've been thinking about today. "

Rejection on here means little to me different strokes for different folks, if IRL a bit more difficult to take but having expectation that what ever the response shouldn’t change my mood, just try not to dwell

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By *elman15Man
22 weeks ago

Farnham

"Would you say how you handle rejection is a big component to being on this site? Just something I've been thinking about today. "

If it's rejection on here then it's pretty easy to handle, someone who knows nothing about me makes a judgement on what's on my profile and decides from that. Plus women have a lot of different choice on here.

In real life it's not as easy but still not everyone can like you or be attracted to you just as I'm not attracted to every woman I see or speak to.

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By *econdtimelucky101Man
22 weeks ago

Near Birmingham.

"Would you say how you handle rejection is a big component to being on this site? Just something I've been thinking about today. "

It's standard on here, don't take it to heart and move on.

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By *ony MannMan
22 weeks ago

South Newton

Any man who has not been ignored or rejected on here has not sent a mail.

Even couples get that, and I have rejected at least one lady and not because she was miles away.

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By *oeBeansMan
22 weeks ago

Derby

Pretty much summed it up for me as well. It's actually spot on. I'm impressed 😂

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By *gent CoulsonMan
22 weeks ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

As you get older on here it happens more, just part of the game

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By *ealitybitesMan
22 weeks ago

Belfast

I don't have the sort of conversations on here that can lead to rejection and it's only after weeks of general chit chat that I'll agree to meet socially to determine if there is any physical chemistry.

I've never been rejected by anyone I've actually met through fab in the true sense of the word.

Conversation has fizzled out but no-one has actually said they didn't want to meet me again.

On the flip side there have been lots of times I haven't felt any connection when meeting in person and just allowed the follow up to fade away without saying they weren't my type.

I have been rejected when I was much younger so I know what it feels like but on here I don't have those issues.

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By *urry BlokeMan
22 weeks ago

The site creates a situation where we often discount each other based on a selection of words and 2D images - with zero interaction otherwise

I don't think that receiving a knock back on that basis is something worth taking to heart

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By *eroLondonMan
22 weeks ago

Mayfair

I would be dishonest if I said that I've never been rejected. On Fab I rarely send the first message, other than to other forum dwellers / fab friends, and therefore it's quite rare.

I usually interpret the 'slow decay of conversation' as a sign of no longer interested...thus 'rejection', but it's been years since a woman uttered the ill-fated words "no thanks and / or I'm not interested".

In any case — to temper the situation I always take a small soft teddy bear 🧸 with me on my dates. At least there's something for me to cuddle on the return journey aboard the Rejection Express. 🚂

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By *iscombobulated1523Couple
22 weeks ago

Worcestershire

Not a lot to handle really we can't all be everyones cup of tea

We just move forward no point throwing a hissy fit

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By *all_Dark_DirtyMan
22 weeks ago

all over

On the odd occasion I do message someone, if it gets read with no response I carry on with my day as normal! I do have a load of sympathy for the women and couples on here as I’ve been on here as part of a couple before, and the levels of abuse for not responding within 30 seconds of reading a message is unreal. Those people need a fucking good shake and put on a watch list.

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By *wingingphil69Man
22 weeks ago

castleford

If you take this site as a joke then no but some take it so seriously

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By *2000ManMan
22 weeks ago

Worthing

IRL or Fab...I instantly move on. Second chances? Sorry but I still move on...too late.

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

I set the bar really low so if I do get rejected on here it's crucifiying.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
22 weeks ago

Central

I don't really have it register. It would only be an issue if an arranged meet was a stood-up experience, because they couldn't communicate in an effective manner.

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By *ild_oatsMan
22 weeks ago

the land of saints & sinners

It’s quite simple…. Don’t invest anything negative into it. It’s all part of this site.

Try adding something like …. If I’m not for you just block me as saves you the effort of saying thanks but no thanks.

It just gives the receiver of that you are not going to pester them for a reply.

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By *hief_Of_AlwaysMan
22 weeks ago

1313 Mockingbird Lane…

Rejection, on here? Naaah it’s nothing.

IRL? That can really ruin your night

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By *iss_Juicy79Woman
22 weeks ago

Edinburgh

Yeah it doesn't bother me i know I'm not most peoples type

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

On here it doesn’t really make much difference to me.

IRL it’s not nice and I avoid putting myself in situations where there’s a chance I might experience rejection.

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By *abby N IanCouple
22 weeks ago

Willenhall

I struggle with the feeling I'm gonna be rejected, prob cuz my confidence is crap. So I struggle to approach ppl

Tabby x

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By *lbethereMan
22 weeks ago

Manchester

"Would you say how you handle rejection is a big component to being on this site? Just something I've been thinking about today. "

Half the time as you surely know

, you just don’t get ‘rejected’. They just don’t bother getting back to you, I get some have lot of messages, but rude is rude for me. I out on it’s fine if I not for you delete the message and that do. The ones that do reply are usually meeting or rejecting like you say, I have zero issues with it at all, the funny thing is they weren’t on to some sort of sure thing and yeah a great bum or boobs rock but if you’re not attracted to them, you’d not have even given the chance to them to reject. Odd that people think because you messaged a faceless profile you be just saying yeah ok

. Always the gentleman is the way. I fo out bo problem at all, trouble is vanilla

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By *arakiss12TV/TS
22 weeks ago

Bedfuck

I always rise above it, I don't have an ego which probably helps. I just carry on regardless,

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By *JB1954Man
22 weeks ago

Reading

"For me. Either send , receive communication in one way or another on Fab. Then further messages. No reply . Move on . Keep trying .

Also to add . Exchange a few messages. Profile asks for info , move on to say another app. You send message. Ignored. This after say a week or more . Seen profile online also several times. 😤😤😤.

But as my first post on this. Move on keep trying

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By *ucka39Man
22 weeks ago

Newcastle

The site is only a portion of my time my life beyond is something else 😉

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By *exxyyDy11 OP Man
11 weeks ago

North West

Bringing this thread back. I think for a single guy like me, how you handle rejection is a big component. As it can make you feel you're not worthy enough for people etc. But having thick skin and no expectations is key. Something I was thinking about again.

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By *iddick27Man
11 weeks ago

Cheshire

"Bringing this thread back. I think for a single guy like me, how you handle rejection is a big component. As it can make you feel you're not worthy enough for people etc. But having thick skin and no expectations is key. Something I was thinking about again."

View rejection as the result of bad statistics fab is 99% men

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By *enegadeMMan
11 weeks ago

Witney

"Would you say how you handle rejection is a big component to being on this site? Just something I've been thinking about today. "

Can’t dwell on rejection….. life moves on regardless right?

What’s meant to be will be ….

And especially on fab…. That’s another kettle of fish all together ….

We will all find what we seek eventually right?

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By *mooth tongue 4uMan
11 weeks ago

edinburgh

Fabs like the lottery ,,,,,

You won’t win every time ,,,

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By *ortney FoxxxWoman
11 weeks ago

honeysuckle lane

Don’t take anything to heart guy’s on here it’s not you it’s this site ❤️

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By *lasphemousGirlWoman
11 weeks ago

Cambs

We can't be everyone's cup of tea, I try not to take rejection personally, everyone has likes and dislikes, I expect the same level of emotional maturity, although it's never nice to be knocked back it is just part of life.

Blas xx

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By *exxyyDy11 OP Man
11 weeks ago

North West

"Don’t take anything to heart guy’s on here it’s not you it’s this site ❤️"

Exactly this. I think it is the just the Internet in general. Makes people more aggressive I think.

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By *ortney FoxxxWoman
11 weeks ago

honeysuckle lane

"Don’t take anything to heart guy’s on here it’s not you it’s this site ❤️

Exactly this. I think it is the just the Internet in general. Makes people more aggressive I think. "
definitely sadly

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By *ts the taking part thatMan
11 weeks ago

southampton

Take it on the chins & move on.

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By *rHotNottsMan
11 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I don’t really see it as a rejection to be honest, maybe because I tend to go very slowly, and I only move things further when I’m fairly certain they’re interested in more.

I mean, it’s happened a couple of times I fancied someone and they didn’t fancy me or I went for a job that I wanted and didn’t get it, but I don’t really see it as rejection. It’s more that it just wasn’t right, there was some umbrella, it was bad timing, I wasn’t what they wanted

I think, if you see as a rejection, you’re choosing to inflict emotional pain on yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
11 weeks ago

Lol if your a guy on this site I think it's par for the course.

Funny how some people can't handle it though, like they were never told no growing up

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By *harmedAndInChargeMan
11 weeks ago

Bath

As someone who is time poor rejection really helps with that

But on a serious note not appealing to certain people on here doesn’t feel like rejection to me. Just a miss match.

I can see how it may feel that way if you are someone who doesn’t find anyone that matches with you.

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By *exxyyDy11 OP Man
11 weeks ago

North West

"I don’t really see it as a rejection to be honest, maybe because I tend to go very slowly, and I only move things further when I’m fairly certain they’re interested in more.

I think, if you see as a rejection, you’re choosing to inflict emotional pain on yourself.

That last bit is so true, you're wasting energy feeling negative, whej really you could be converting that into doing something positive and worthwhile for yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
11 weeks ago

Don't even get to the point of being rejected to be honest.

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By *oiluvfunMan
11 weeks ago

Penrith

"Don’t take anything to heart guy’s on here it’s not you it’s this site ❤️"

Exactly this! The ‘nice’ thing about this site is you rarely actually get rejected…….it appears customary to just ignore your message instead. I just remove my pic from the message before deleting, then move on.

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By *oiluvfunMan
11 weeks ago

Penrith

View rejection as the result of bad statistics fab is 99% men "

I would say; 50% couples, 45% solo guys, 5% solo females…..

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By *nsaneronMan
11 weeks ago

PO7

As a guy in my 50’s very very rarely even get a reply from women. When my late partner was on here with me. We were bombarded and I made her always answer even if negative but polite.

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By *heshirehotwifeCouple
11 weeks ago

Northwich

Rejection doesn't bother me at all, I'm well aware I'm not going to be everyone's cup of tea and I'm OK with that.

I have to admit to not sending messages, even polite ones, to guys that I'm not interested in after having so much abuse for it! "Didn't want to fuck you anyway, you fat slag" particularly stands out to me, what a delightful way to respond to rejection.

Mrs x x

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By *idewinder01Man
11 weeks ago

Poole

I think rejection is just part of life and if you get it on here you just have to accept it and flick it off your shoulder and move on. Someone on here that maybe does not want to chat or meet me isn't a rejection that hurts me, it just means I am not for them. However if I am applying for a new job and don't get it......that rejection is more difficult to brush off but you still got to do it.

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By (user no longer on site)
11 weeks ago

You win some, you lose some.

Just how it goes.

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By *w funwifeWoman
11 weeks ago

near taunton

i think its pretty simple if you cant handle rejection then you really should not be on this scene as the scene runs on selction rejection ..no matter who you are

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By *eliWoman
11 weeks ago

I don't think it's rejection. Someone you don't know saying no to your message when you're half-mast and cut isn't exactly rejecting.

Anyway, I've never really experienced it here. I think that's because I tend to build friendships first and then go from there. It works for me, people want to see me again, everything is good.

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By *gf301Man
11 weeks ago

canterbury

It's not rejection... It's someone else's missed opportunity x

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