Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
 | Back to forum list |
| Back to The Lounge |
| Jump to newest |  |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"No I suspect they're like that out in the real world too "Fab isn’t real ? 😮 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think Fab is like alcohol- it just brings those unpleasant truths to the surface." Oh I hope not otherwise I'll permanently live in the corner feeling morose  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Seen some males expressing negative views towards women recently. Examples of real life recent posts (I’ll paraphrase) - * They don’t reply to my messages so must be rude / entitled etc * Even the ugly ones think they are goods gift These don’t seem to be isolated occurrences but popping up quite frequently. So I was just wondering if you feel that time spent on fab, for certain men, can leave them feeling bitter towards ‘the fairer sex’ ?" No, this is just how they would feel anyway. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Seen some males expressing negative views towards women recently. Examples of real life recent posts (I’ll paraphrase) - * They don’t reply to my messages so must be rude / entitled etc * Even the ugly ones think they are goods gift These don’t seem to be isolated occurrences but popping up quite frequently. So I was just wondering if you feel that time spent on fab, for certain men, can leave them feeling bitter towards ‘the fairer sex’ ?" No they were already bitter the site just exacerbated it. I've never been turned down by anyone male or female and immediately thought "how can they turn me down when they're fat and/or ugly" cause my brain isn't wired that way | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Seen some males expressing negative views towards women recently. Examples of real life recent posts (I’ll paraphrase) - * They don’t reply to my messages so must be rude / entitled etc * Even the ugly ones think they are goods gift These don’t seem to be isolated occurrences but popping up quite frequently. So I was just wondering if you feel that time spent on fab, for certain men, can leave them feeling bitter towards ‘the fairer sex’ ?" Maybe their way of thinking is because women like us are on here we just want sex and that weren't not choosy or have standards 🤷🏼♂️ | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I wouldn't say it's made me feel bitter towards women, but I have seen certain women feel as though they can make demands where it's seen as knowing her worth and not lowering her standards whereas men tend to get the treatment of not setting realistic expectations. Now that might be due to the ratio, but I do think that's led to almost an unjustified arrogance of certain women (some of which I've experienced) that has can lead to men being annoyed by that behaviour and lashing out as a result. Fuck, I've tried to word that as carefully as I could 😅" Just say it how it is pal 😃 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" So I was just wondering if you feel that time spent in life, for certain men, can leave them feeling bitter towards ‘the fairer sex’ ?" | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I wouldn't say it's made me feel bitter towards women, but I have seen certain women feel as though they can make demands where it's seen as knowing her worth and not lowering her standards whereas men tend to get the treatment of not setting realistic expectations. Now that might be due to the ratio, but I do think that's led to almost an unjustified arrogance of certain women (some of which I've experienced) that has can lead to men being annoyed by that behaviour and lashing out as a result. Fuck, I've tried to word that as carefully as I could 😅 Just say it how it is pal 😃 " Tried that, people don't like it much 😂 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I wouldn't say it's made me feel bitter towards women, but I have seen certain women feel as though they can make demands where it's seen as knowing her worth and not lowering her standards whereas men tend to get the treatment of not setting realistic expectations. Now that might be due to the ratio, but I do think that's led to almost an unjustified arrogance of certain women (some of which I've experienced) that has can lead to men being annoyed by that behaviour and lashing out as a result. Fuck, I've tried to word that as carefully as I could 😅 Just say it how it is pal 😃 Tried that, people don't like it much 😂" 🤷♂️ Fuck them … (not literally 😂) | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I wouldn't say it's made me feel bitter towards women, but I have seen certain women feel as though they can make demands where it's seen as knowing her worth and not lowering her standards whereas men tend to get the treatment of not setting realistic expectations. Now that might be due to the ratio, but I do think that's led to almost an unjustified arrogance of certain women (some of which I've experienced) that has can lead to men being annoyed by that behaviour and lashing out as a result. Fuck, I've tried to word that as carefully as I could 😅" Very well worded. And valid. But. I’ve never seen you denigrate “all” women because of a few . And to be fair most men don’t. But the ones that do …. They sure go for it  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I wouldn't say it's made me feel bitter towards women, but I have seen certain women feel as though they can make demands where it's seen as knowing her worth and not lowering her standards whereas men tend to get the treatment of not setting realistic expectations. Now that might be due to the ratio, but I do think that's led to almost an unjustified arrogance of certain women (some of which I've experienced) that has can lead to men being annoyed by that behaviour and lashing out as a result. Fuck, I've tried to word that as carefully as I could 😅 Very well worded. And valid. But. I’ve never seen you denigrate “all” women because of a few . And to be fair most men don’t. But the ones that do …. They sure go for it "Yeah, I get that but it does also happen on both sides. I'm not trying to downplay some of the things experienced because I'm sure women face a lot more awful and vile comments, again due to the ratio, but in a space where men can already feel disposable, it doesn't half suck to have that reaffirmed... 😕 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I wouldn't say it's made me feel bitter towards women, but I have seen certain women feel as though they can make demands where it's seen as knowing her worth and not lowering her standards whereas men tend to get the treatment of not setting realistic expectations. Now that might be due to the ratio, but I do think that's led to almost an unjustified arrogance of certain women (some of which I've experienced) that has can lead to men being annoyed by that behaviour and lashing out as a result. Fuck, I've tried to word that as carefully as I could 😅" I met a woman on here once and her very first words to me before she even said hello were "Are you nervous meeting me?" I often wondered if her attitude was inherent in her daily life or brought to the surface by fab? Was I a misogynist for saying that no I wasn't nervous about meeting her or could someone reading this thread insist that I am one now for highlighting a particular but not unusual occurrence? Possibly but then again I treat people as equals regardless of gender and I like or dislike them based on their words and actions. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Seen some males expressing negative views towards women recently. Examples of real life recent posts (I’ll paraphrase) - * They don’t reply to my messages so must be rude / entitled etc * Even the ugly ones think they are goods gift These don’t seem to be isolated occurrences but popping up quite frequently. So I was just wondering if you feel that time spent on fab, for certain men, can leave them feeling bitter towards ‘the fairer sex’ ?" Women no longer care. I dont care anymore about mens feelings here if they are rejected and quite frankly men hate that. Good. Time for men to grow up. We are not here for mens entertainment | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So are some people saying that the attitude some men display is down to the way women behave? " What I'm saying is that the attitude I display to individual women is down to the way they behave just as my attitude towards individual men is a result of their behaviour. That doesn't translate into disliking the many because of the actions of the few and there is simply no excuse for misogyny or misandry. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think multiple negative experiences can tend to make us feel all men/women are the devil incarnate...but really it is genderless and all people can be arseholes at times" Yep there are just as many 'single men are bad because x' threads. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So are some people saying that the attitude some men display is down to the way women behave? What I'm saying is that the attitude I display to individual women is down to the way they behave just as my attitude towards individual men is a result of their behaviour. That doesn't translate into disliking the many because of the actions of the few and there is simply no excuse for misogyny or misandry. " I think that's the case with most of us.  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Those types of comments are not new or surprising. They have been made as long as I've been using the forums. There has also been quite a bit of misandry which often goes under the radar depending on the poster. " · I couldn't agree more. There are men on here who are less than nice. Misogyny prevails. No one forgets. There are women on here who are less than nice. Misandry prevails. No one remembers. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"^^ also we do not *have* to be polite or nice to anybody just because they speak to us. " Yes, but how you behave and interact is about you and your personality. You don’t have to be nice to anyone, but some people are just nice to people without even thinking about it. It’s just their personality type. This works both ways of course. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Those types of comments are not new or surprising. They have been made as long as I've been using the forums. There has also been quite a bit of misandry which often goes under the radar depending on the poster. · I couldn't agree more. There are men on here who are less than nice. Misogyny prevails. No one forgets. There are women on here who are less than nice. Misandry prevails. No one remembers." Absolutely this ^^ | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"^^ also we do not *have* to be polite or nice to anybody just because they speak to us. Yes, but how you behave and interact is about you and your personality. You don’t have to be nice to anyone, but some people are just nice to people without even thinking about it. It’s just their personality type. This works both ways of course. " True. However I think women are polite and nice to rude, entitled and creepy men far too often. I wish we were encouraged to tell these guys to fuck firmly off. I don't advocate being nasty for the sake of it | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think the default setting for many of both sexes here is cynicism and bitterness based on failed relationships. Read any thread about people’s Ex's where you read the most vile comments." That's actually a very good point! I bet people can develop insecurities through their past relationships that when it comes to Fab, they almost have a sort of armour up which comes across as bitterness and scepticism for the opposite sex. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think the default setting for many of both sexes here is cynicism and bitterness based on failed relationships. Read any thread about people’s Ex's where you read the most vile comments. That's actually a very good point! I bet people can develop insecurities through their past relationships that when it comes to Fab, they almost have a sort of armour up which comes across as bitterness and scepticism for the opposite sex." Thats a more generous but more accurate interpretation. Yes, bitterness can often be a facade to keep further hurt at bay. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"^^ also we do not *have* to be polite or nice to anybody just because they speak to us. Yes, but how you behave and interact is about you and your personality. You don’t have to be nice to anyone, but some people are just nice to people without even thinking about it. It’s just their personality type. This works both ways of course. " According to traditional stereotypes, women are supposed to be quiet, reserved, polite and all the rest, no matter what. I think it's that sort of thing that the NCs are talking about. Not going about being generally rude because one is being a total arse. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"^^ also we do not *have* to be polite or nice to anybody just because they speak to us. Yes, but how you behave and interact is about you and your personality. You don’t have to be nice to anyone, but some people are just nice to people without even thinking about it. It’s just their personality type. This works both ways of course. True. However I think women are polite and nice to rude, entitled and creepy men far too often. I wish we were encouraged to tell these guys to fuck firmly off. I don't advocate being nasty for the sake of it" I'm inclined to think that places like Fab give women the relatively rare power to be assertive with no more recourse than words. (As opposed to worse possibilities in person) And some guys are so used to women biting their tongues that they feel persecuted. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"^^ also we do not *have* to be polite or nice to anybody just because they speak to us. Yes, but how you behave and interact is about you and your personality. You don’t have to be nice to anyone, but some people are just nice to people without even thinking about it. It’s just their personality type. This works both ways of course. True. However I think women are polite and nice to rude, entitled and creepy men far too often. I wish we were encouraged to tell these guys to fuck firmly off. I don't advocate being nasty for the sake of it" I quite like the phrase fuck firmly off! It adds a certain depth to the amount of off you want them to fuck. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"^^ also we do not *have* to be polite or nice to anybody just because they speak to us. Yes, but how you behave and interact is about you and your personality. You don’t have to be nice to anyone, but some people are just nice to people without even thinking about it. It’s just their personality type. This works both ways of course. According to traditional stereotypes, women are supposed to be quiet, reserved, polite and all the rest, no matter what. I think it's that sort of thing that the NCs are talking about. Not going about being generally rude because one is being a total arse." Yep! Creepy guy approaches you. You tell him firmly that you aren't interested. He calls you a dumb, rude bitch with no manners | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"^^ also we do not *have* to be polite or nice to anybody just because they speak to us. " PERFECT X | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"^^ also we do not *have* to be polite or nice to anybody just because they speak to us. Yes, but how you behave and interact is about you and your personality. You don’t have to be nice to anyone, but some people are just nice to people without even thinking about it. It’s just their personality type. This works both ways of course. True. However I think women are polite and nice to rude, entitled and creepy men far too often. I wish we were encouraged to tell these guys to fuck firmly off. I don't advocate being nasty for the sake of it I quite like the phrase fuck firmly off! It adds a certain depth to the amount of off you want them to fuck. "  .
I'm a polite person who interacts in a reasonable way with most people. However I regret the times as a younger woman that I felt i needed to be 'nice' to creeps.
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"^^ also we do not *have* to be polite or nice to anybody just because they speak to us. Yes, but how you behave and interact is about you and your personality. You don’t have to be nice to anyone, but some people are just nice to people without even thinking about it. It’s just their personality type. This works both ways of course. According to traditional stereotypes, women are supposed to be quiet, reserved, polite and all the rest, no matter what. I think it's that sort of thing that the NCs are talking about. Not going about being generally rude because one is being a total arse. Yep! Creepy guy approaches you. You tell him firmly that you aren't interested. He calls you a dumb, rude bitch with no manners " And people think you're the rude one | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"^^ also we do not *have* to be polite or nice to anybody just because they speak to us. Yes, but how you behave and interact is about you and your personality. You don’t have to be nice to anyone, but some people are just nice to people without even thinking about it. It’s just their personality type. This works both ways of course. According to traditional stereotypes, women are supposed to be quiet, reserved, polite and all the rest, no matter what. I think it's that sort of thing that the NCs are talking about. Not going about being generally rude because one is being a total arse. Yep! Creepy guy approaches you. You tell him firmly that you aren't interested. He calls you a dumb, rude bitch with no manners And people think you're the rude one ". | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"^^ also we do not *have* to be polite or nice to anybody just because they speak to us. Yes, but how you behave and interact is about you and your personality. You don’t have to be nice to anyone, but some people are just nice to people without even thinking about it. It’s just their personality type. This works both ways of course. True. However I think women are polite and nice to rude, entitled and creepy men far too often. I wish we were encouraged to tell these guys to fuck firmly off. I don't advocate being nasty for the sake of it I quite like the phrase fuck firmly off! It adds a certain depth to the amount of off you want them to fuck. .
I'm a polite person who interacts in a reasonable way with most people. However I regret the times as a younger woman that I felt i needed to be 'nice' to creeps.
"All part of your wisdom gathering years. No regrets! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Fab to misogynist pipeline is strong. But if I say that they’ll say I’m just tryna get a shag." I just wanna say that the funniest thing is that they think I don’t have game 🎻 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"^^ also we do not *have* to be polite or nice to anybody just because they speak to us. Yes, but how you behave and interact is about you and your personality. You don’t have to be nice to anyone, but some people are just nice to people without even thinking about it. It’s just their personality type. This works both ways of course. True. However I think women are polite and nice to rude, entitled and creepy men far too often. I wish we were encouraged to tell these guys to fuck firmly off. I don't advocate being nasty for the sake of it I quite like the phrase fuck firmly off! It adds a certain depth to the amount of off you want them to fuck. .
I'm a polite person who interacts in a reasonable way with most people. However I regret the times as a younger woman that I felt i needed to be 'nice' to creeps.
All part of your wisdom gathering years. No regrets! "You're right | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"^^ also we do not *have* to be polite or nice to anybody just because they speak to us. Yes, but how you behave and interact is about you and your personality. You don’t have to be nice to anyone, but some people are just nice to people without even thinking about it. It’s just their personality type. This works both ways of course. According to traditional stereotypes, women are supposed to be quiet, reserved, polite and all the rest, no matter what. I think it's that sort of thing that the NCs are talking about. Not going about being generally rude because one is being a total arse. Yep! Creepy guy approaches you. You tell him firmly that you aren't interested. He calls you a dumb, rude bitch with no manners And people think you're the rude one "It’s nice to be nice, until it’s time to be not nice. Anyone who behaves like that is an undisputed arse. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Fab to misogynist pipeline is strong. But if I say that they’ll say I’m just tryna get a shag." That makes it sound casual, like if we'd just pity shag the weirdos they wouldn't go on to be creeps. Nah, the weirdos already have red flags and women are entitled to protect themselves | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"^^ also we do not *have* to be polite or nice to anybody just because they speak to us. Yes, but how you behave and interact is about you and your personality. You don’t have to be nice to anyone, but some people are just nice to people without even thinking about it. It’s just their personality type. This works both ways of course. According to traditional stereotypes, women are supposed to be quiet, reserved, polite and all the rest, no matter what. I think it's that sort of thing that the NCs are talking about. Not going about being generally rude because one is being a total arse. Yep! Creepy guy approaches you. You tell him firmly that you aren't interested. He calls you a dumb, rude bitch with no manners And people think you're the rude one "Pure gaslighting for sure | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Fab to misogynist pipeline is strong. But if I say that they’ll say I’m just tryna get a shag. That makes it sound casual, like if we'd just pity shag the weirdos they wouldn't go on to be creeps. Nah, the weirdos already have red flags and women are entitled to protect themselves " Causal. Fucking autocarrot | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Fab to misogynist pipeline is strong. But if I say that they’ll say I’m just tryna get a shag. That makes it sound casual, like if we'd just pity shag the weirdos they wouldn't go on to be creeps. Nah, the weirdos already have red flags and women are entitled to protect themselves " I agree but I think it’s more that a lot men are raised with misogynistic attitudes around sex and entitlement to sex with women. The rejection on here leads them there but that doesn’t place fault with women. The fault is still with men. And it’s with a culture that doesn’t teach men how to take rejection well or how to respect a woman’s autonomy. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think we should remember that vulnerable men whose self esteem is taking hits are vulnerable to certain messaging and certain ideas that exacerbate the levels of misandry and that present women as the ones to blame for that- as well as not getting laid. I agree you’d have to be somewhat of a misogynist already but I think it’s entirely possible that it could be things someone isn’t necessarily aware of. " It goes both ways. Nice couple highlighted scenario 1 where a creepy guy approached and was told firmly no so he gave a nasty response. How about scenario 2 where a normal guy approached politely but the woman found him creepy and told him to fuck off. Creepy is subjective. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Fab to misogynist pipeline is strong. But if I say that they’ll say I’m just tryna get a shag. That makes it sound casual, like if we'd just pity shag the weirdos they wouldn't go on to be creeps. Nah, the weirdos already have red flags and women are entitled to protect themselves I agree but I think it’s more that a lot men are raised with misogynistic attitudes around sex and entitlement to sex with women. The rejection on here leads them there but that doesn’t place fault with women. The fault is still with men. And it’s with a culture that doesn’t teach men how to take rejection well or how to respect a woman’s autonomy. " So the environment of Fab reinforces their preexisting sense of superiority and entitlement, and makes them angrier. That tracks | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Fab to misogynist pipeline is strong. But if I say that they’ll say I’m just tryna get a shag. That makes it sound casual, like if we'd just pity shag the weirdos they wouldn't go on to be creeps. Nah, the weirdos already have red flags and women are entitled to protect themselves I agree but I think it’s more that a lot men are raised with misogynistic attitudes around sex and entitlement to sex with women. The rejection on here leads them there but that doesn’t place fault with women. The fault is still with men. And it’s with a culture that doesn’t teach men how to take rejection well or how to respect a woman’s autonomy. " So it’s not to say they weren’t misogynists before. Perhaps not over misogynists. But I think it’s also to acknowledge that society makes misogynists of many people. It takes unlearning. People downplay the consciousness involved in someone challenging that misogyny. It’s the case with power. Dominant ideas are constantly reproduced and they live within people until they challenge/ unlearn them. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think we should remember that vulnerable men whose self esteem is taking hits are vulnerable to certain messaging and certain ideas that exacerbate the levels of misandry and that present women as the ones to blame for that- as well as not getting laid. I agree you’d have to be somewhat of a misogynist already but I think it’s entirely possible that it could be things someone isn’t necessarily aware of. It goes both ways. Nice couple highlighted scenario 1 where a creepy guy approached and was told firmly no so he gave a nasty response. How about scenario 2 where a normal guy approached politely but the woman found him creepy and told him to fuck off. Creepy is subjective. " It certainly is. There are women who are just nasty to any man they don't find attractive. A man who isn't a misogynist will blame that individual woman. A misogynist will blame all women. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Seen some males expressing negative views towards women recently. Examples of real life recent posts (I’ll paraphrase) - * They don’t reply to my messages so must be rude / entitled etc * Even the ugly ones think they are goods gift These don’t seem to be isolated occurrences but popping up quite frequently. So I was just wondering if you feel that time spent on fab, for certain men, can leave them feeling bitter towards ‘the fairer sex’ ?" You make a good point but I think your reference to women as the 'fairer sex' is lost on you somehow. Made me smile wryly | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Fab to misogynist pipeline is strong. But if I say that they’ll say I’m just tryna get a shag. That makes it sound casual, like if we'd just pity shag the weirdos they wouldn't go on to be creeps. Nah, the weirdos already have red flags and women are entitled to protect themselves I agree but I think it’s more that a lot men are raised with misogynistic attitudes around sex and entitlement to sex with women. The rejection on here leads them there but that doesn’t place fault with women. The fault is still with men. And it’s with a culture that doesn’t teach men how to take rejection well or how to respect a woman’s autonomy. So it’s not to say they weren’t misogynists before. Perhaps not over misogynists. But I think it’s also to acknowledge that society makes misogynists of many people. It takes unlearning. People downplay the consciousness involved in someone challenging that misogyny. It’s the case with power. Dominant ideas are constantly reproduced and they live within people until they challenge/ unlearn them. " Soc 101 here. I agree | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think we should remember that vulnerable men whose self esteem is taking hits are vulnerable to certain messaging and certain ideas that exacerbate the levels of misandry and that present women as the ones to blame for that- as well as not getting laid. I agree you’d have to be somewhat of a misogynist already but I think it’s entirely possible that it could be things someone isn’t necessarily aware of. It goes both ways. Nice couple highlighted scenario 1 where a creepy guy approached and was told firmly no so he gave a nasty response. How about scenario 2 where a normal guy approached politely but the woman found him creepy and told him to fuck off. Creepy is subjective. " I agree that it is subjective. I have been out so maybe I’m not following well but can you explain more what you mean about the second point in how it relates to my post? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think we should remember that vulnerable men whose self esteem is taking hits are vulnerable to certain messaging and certain ideas that exacerbate the levels of misandry and that present women as the ones to blame for that- as well as not getting laid. I agree you’d have to be somewhat of a misogynist already but I think it’s entirely possible that it could be things someone isn’t necessarily aware of. It goes both ways. Nice couple highlighted scenario 1 where a creepy guy approached and was told firmly no so he gave a nasty response. How about scenario 2 where a normal guy approached politely but the woman found him creepy and told him to fuck off. Creepy is subjective. It certainly is. There are women who are just nasty to any man they don't find attractive. A man who isn't a misogynist will blame that individual woman. A misogynist will blame all women. " How many “fuck off creeps” would it take to embed those feelings though? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Seen some males expressing negative views towards women recently. Examples of real life recent posts (I’ll paraphrase) - * They don’t reply to my messages so must be rude / entitled etc * Even the ugly ones think they are goods gift These don’t seem to be isolated occurrences but popping up quite frequently. So I was just wondering if you feel that time spent on fab, for certain men, can leave them feeling bitter towards ‘the fairer sex’ ? You make a good point but I think your reference to women as the 'fairer sex' is lost on you somehow. Made me smile wryly" 
It is in inverted commas, Granny. Maybe trying to use it ironically. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think we should remember that vulnerable men whose self esteem is taking hits are vulnerable to certain messaging and certain ideas that exacerbate the levels of misandry and that present women as the ones to blame for that- as well as not getting laid. I agree you’d have to be somewhat of a misogynist already but I think it’s entirely possible that it could be things someone isn’t necessarily aware of. It goes both ways. Nice couple highlighted scenario 1 where a creepy guy approached and was told firmly no so he gave a nasty response. How about scenario 2 where a normal guy approached politely but the woman found him creepy and told him to fuck off. Creepy is subjective. I agree that it is subjective. I have been out so maybe I’m not following well but can you explain more what you mean about the second point in how it relates to my post?" Sorry Rick, I quoted the wrong one | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Fab to misogynist pipeline is strong. But if I say that they’ll say I’m just tryna get a shag. That makes it sound casual, like if we'd just pity shag the weirdos they wouldn't go on to be creeps. Nah, the weirdos already have red flags and women are entitled to protect themselves I agree but I think it’s more that a lot men are raised with misogynistic attitudes around sex and entitlement to sex with women. The rejection on here leads them there but that doesn’t place fault with women. The fault is still with men. And it’s with a culture that doesn’t teach men how to take rejection well or how to respect a woman’s autonomy. So it’s not to say they weren’t misogynists before. Perhaps not over misogynists. But I think it’s also to acknowledge that society makes misogynists of many people. It takes unlearning. People downplay the consciousness involved in someone challenging that misogyny. It’s the case with power. Dominant ideas are constantly reproduced and they live within people until they challenge/ unlearn them. " So many songs from my youth were about how if a guy keeps trying the woman will fall in love with him. We were supposed to take that as read, and romantic, rather than weird. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Fab to misogynist pipeline is strong. But if I say that they’ll say I’m just tryna get a shag. That makes it sound casual, like if we'd just pity shag the weirdos they wouldn't go on to be creeps. Nah, the weirdos already have red flags and women are entitled to protect themselves I agree but I think it’s more that a lot men are raised with misogynistic attitudes around sex and entitlement to sex with women. The rejection on here leads them there but that doesn’t place fault with women. The fault is still with men. And it’s with a culture that doesn’t teach men how to take rejection well or how to respect a woman’s autonomy. So it’s not to say they weren’t misogynists before. Perhaps not over misogynists. But I think it’s also to acknowledge that society makes misogynists of many people. It takes unlearning. People downplay the consciousness involved in someone challenging that misogyny. It’s the case with power. Dominant ideas are constantly reproduced and they live within people until they challenge/ unlearn them. So many songs from my youth were about how if a guy keeps trying the woman will fall in love with him. We were supposed to take that as read, and romantic, rather than weird." There's a bunch of songs on mainstream radio right now that get my teeth stood on end. About how wily women have control of some dude and basically manipulate him in a way he can't control blah blah. I hear very different things in song lyrics nowadays. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think we should remember that vulnerable men whose self esteem is taking hits are vulnerable to certain messaging and certain ideas that exacerbate the levels of misandry and that present women as the ones to blame for that- as well as not getting laid. I agree you’d have to be somewhat of a misogynist already but I think it’s entirely possible that it could be things someone isn’t necessarily aware of. It goes both ways. Nice couple highlighted scenario 1 where a creepy guy approached and was told firmly no so he gave a nasty response. How about scenario 2 where a normal guy approached politely but the woman found him creepy and told him to fuck off. Creepy is subjective. It certainly is. There are women who are just nasty to any man they don't find attractive. A man who isn't a misogynist will blame that individual woman. A misogynist will blame all women. How many “fuck off creeps” would it take to embed those feelings though?" Man A one. Man B many. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Fab to misogynist pipeline is strong. But if I say that they’ll say I’m just tryna get a shag. That makes it sound casual, like if we'd just pity shag the weirdos they wouldn't go on to be creeps. Nah, the weirdos already have red flags and women are entitled to protect themselves I agree but I think it’s more that a lot men are raised with misogynistic attitudes around sex and entitlement to sex with women. The rejection on here leads them there but that doesn’t place fault with women. The fault is still with men. And it’s with a culture that doesn’t teach men how to take rejection well or how to respect a woman’s autonomy. So it’s not to say they weren’t misogynists before. Perhaps not over misogynists. But I think it’s also to acknowledge that society makes misogynists of many people. It takes unlearning. People downplay the consciousness involved in someone challenging that misogyny. It’s the case with power. Dominant ideas are constantly reproduced and they live within people until they challenge/ unlearn them. So many songs from my youth were about how if a guy keeps trying the woman will fall in love with him. We were supposed to take that as read, and romantic, rather than weird. There's a bunch of songs on mainstream radio right now that get my teeth stood on end. About how wily women have control of some dude and basically manipulate him in a way he can't control blah blah. I hear very different things in song lyrics nowadays. " Yeah same. I have no idea about what's on the radio now, I listen to my CDs
But there was a period of the fuck did I used to think was ok? And presumably my peers thought so too. Which might explain some of the bizarre behaviour we come across | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Fab to misogynist pipeline is strong. But if I say that they’ll say I’m just tryna get a shag. That makes it sound casual, like if we'd just pity shag the weirdos they wouldn't go on to be creeps. Nah, the weirdos already have red flags and women are entitled to protect themselves I agree but I think it’s more that a lot men are raised with misogynistic attitudes around sex and entitlement to sex with women. The rejection on here leads them there but that doesn’t place fault with women. The fault is still with men. And it’s with a culture that doesn’t teach men how to take rejection well or how to respect a woman’s autonomy. So it’s not to say they weren’t misogynists before. Perhaps not over misogynists. But I think it’s also to acknowledge that society makes misogynists of many people. It takes unlearning. People downplay the consciousness involved in someone challenging that misogyny. It’s the case with power. Dominant ideas are constantly reproduced and they live within people until they challenge/ unlearn them. So many songs from my youth were about how if a guy keeps trying the woman will fall in love with him. We were supposed to take that as read, and romantic, rather than weird. There's a bunch of songs on mainstream radio right now that get my teeth stood on end. About how wily women have control of some dude and basically manipulate him in a way he can't control blah blah. I hear very different things in song lyrics nowadays. " It’s sad really, rather than being better, some race to the bottom and do the same. It’s hardly progressive. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think we should remember that vulnerable men whose self esteem is taking hits are vulnerable to certain messaging and certain ideas that exacerbate the levels of misandry and that present women as the ones to blame for that- as well as not getting laid. I agree you’d have to be somewhat of a misogynist already but I think it’s entirely possible that it could be things someone isn’t necessarily aware of. It goes both ways. Nice couple highlighted scenario 1 where a creepy guy approached and was told firmly no so he gave a nasty response. How about scenario 2 where a normal guy approached politely but the woman found him creepy and told him to fuck off. Creepy is subjective. It certainly is. There are women who are just nasty to any man they don't find attractive. A man who isn't a misogynist will blame that individual woman. A misogynist will blame all women. " Yes I think my point is more that this website can make the kind of misogynists that are immediately dangerous of men, compared to the misogynists that I believe to exist in large amounts because of society. Also that’s just messaging. Fab is more than that. It’s the forums too. And the messages and conversations in here too. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Seen some males expressing negative views towards women recently. Examples of real life recent posts (I’ll paraphrase) - * They don’t reply to my messages so must be rude / entitled etc * Even the ugly ones think they are goods gift These don’t seem to be isolated occurrences but popping up quite frequently. So I was just wondering if you feel that time spent on fab, for certain men, can leave them feeling bitter towards ‘the fairer sex’ ? You make a good point but I think your reference to women as the 'fairer sex' is lost on you somehow. Made me smile wryly
It is in inverted commas, Granny. Maybe trying to use it ironically. "I can see where you are coming from but you using a type of language when decrying a type of language isn't ironic. It's akin to saying , Don't be misogynistic cos the bitches don't like it! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think we should remember that vulnerable men whose self esteem is taking hits are vulnerable to certain messaging and certain ideas that exacerbate the levels of misandry and that present women as the ones to blame for that- as well as not getting laid. I agree you’d have to be somewhat of a misogynist already but I think it’s entirely possible that it could be things someone isn’t necessarily aware of. It goes both ways. Nice couple highlighted scenario 1 where a creepy guy approached and was told firmly no so he gave a nasty response. How about scenario 2 where a normal guy approached politely but the woman found him creepy and told him to fuck off. Creepy is subjective. I agree that it is subjective. I have been out so maybe I’m not following well but can you explain more what you mean about the second point in how it relates to my post? Sorry Rick, I quoted the wrong one" Rick is a funny nickname by the way | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Seen some males expressing negative views towards women recently. Examples of real life recent posts (I’ll paraphrase) - * They don’t reply to my messages so must be rude / entitled etc * Even the ugly ones think they are goods gift These don’t seem to be isolated occurrences but popping up quite frequently. So I was just wondering if you feel that time spent on fab, for certain men, can leave them feeling bitter towards ‘the fairer sex’ ? You make a good point but I think your reference to women as the 'fairer sex' is lost on you somehow. Made me smile wryly
It is in inverted commas, Granny. Maybe trying to use it ironically.
I can see where you are coming from but you using a type of language when decrying a type of language isn't ironic.
It's akin to saying , Don't be misogynistic cos the bitches don't like it!"Yes, I realise. I wasn't trying to defend it, just explain it. I think you can probably guess my view on the use of such language. I schooled my brother on the origins of some alleged "jokey" comments, which he claimed to be ignorant of and agreed he would not approve of such language to describe his own daughters, for example. Maybe he learned something? Who knows. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think we should remember that vulnerable men whose self esteem is taking hits are vulnerable to certain messaging and certain ideas that exacerbate the levels of misandry and that present women as the ones to blame for that- as well as not getting laid. I agree you’d have to be somewhat of a misogynist already but I think it’s entirely possible that it could be things someone isn’t necessarily aware of. It goes both ways. Nice couple highlighted scenario 1 where a creepy guy approached and was told firmly no so he gave a nasty response. How about scenario 2 where a normal guy approached politely but the woman found him creepy and told him to fuck off. Creepy is subjective. I agree that it is subjective. I have been out so maybe I’m not following well but can you explain more what you mean about the second point in how it relates to my post? Sorry Rick, I quoted the wrong one Rick is a funny nickname by the way "I’ve been to the pub, bear with me! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think we should remember that vulnerable men whose self esteem is taking hits are vulnerable to certain messaging and certain ideas that exacerbate the levels of misandry and that present women as the ones to blame for that- as well as not getting laid. I agree you’d have to be somewhat of a misogynist already but I think it’s entirely possible that it could be things someone isn’t necessarily aware of. It goes both ways. Nice couple highlighted scenario 1 where a creepy guy approached and was told firmly no so he gave a nasty response. How about scenario 2 where a normal guy approached politely but the woman found him creepy and told him to fuck off. Creepy is subjective. I agree that it is subjective. I have been out so maybe I’m not following well but can you explain more what you mean about the second point in how it relates to my post? Sorry Rick, I quoted the wrong one Rick is a funny nickname by the way
I’ve been to the pub, bear with me!"So have I. Maybe I saw you. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think the default setting for many of both sexes here is cynicism and bitterness based on failed relationships. Read any thread about people’s Ex's where you read the most vile comments." Exactly this, I'd bet theres a massive number of people on here who have had failed relationships and are reliving those historical angry emotions, when they are further rejected online by a stranger | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think time on Fab can leave men and women bitter about the opposite sex. The same with any negative experiences away from Fab." For me it has certainly changed my opinion of the way some men think and behave. To an extent I have become more wary of men in general. However I know that these men don't represent all men. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think time on Fab can leave men and women bitter about the opposite sex. The same with any negative experiences away from Fab. For me it has certainly changed my opinion of the way some men think and behave. To an extent I have become more wary of men in general. However I know that these men don't represent all men. " No thank god … ! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think time on Fab can leave men and women bitter about the opposite sex. The same with any negative experiences away from Fab. For me it has certainly changed my opinion of the way some men think and behave. To an extent I have become more wary of men in general. However I know that these men don't represent all men. No thank god … ! " By the same token the women that men complain about don't represent all women. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Post new Message to Thread |
| back to top |  |
