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Farts ..

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Why is it that a silent fart usually stinks wheras a good old rasp is disppointingly odourless ?

Is it to give the element of suprise when you let a silent one slip maybe ?

Weird ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

and then theres fanny farts..........

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

If you lived Rob you would know that any fart silent or loud is stinky!!

I told him the other day that I was going to make him eat a charcoal odour eater to see if it would help

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By *ricky_DickyMan
over a year ago

Mirfield

What about the old farts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What about the old farts"

Do they smell as well?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

some ov them do yes!!!!!!!!

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By *dventurous PhotographerMan
over a year ago

Central Beds

Breaks the ice I guess

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Quite often of stale pee lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Quite often of stale pee lol"

Lol. And/Or lavender water

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By *irtyduoCouple
over a year ago

nr stirling

lol!!!

nothing like a good old ripper!!!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People who fart after eating brussel sprouts KNOWING it will stink like a tramp's underpants are the pits man!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why is it that a silent fart usually stinks wheras a good old rasp is disppointingly odourless ?

Is it to give the element of suprise when you let a silent one slip maybe ?

Weird ...."

the noise is the odour burning off...

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place


"Why is it that a silent fart usually stinks wheras a good old rasp is disppointingly odourless ?

Is it to give the element of suprise when you let a silent one slip maybe ?

Weird ...."

maybe a rasper is expelled with more force so it drifts off quicker and you dont smell it ,.,,whereas a controlled realease just sits and lingers so you can smell it ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

god we must be scraping the forum barrel if all we gota talk about is farts lmfaofs

its friday so lets get it on and get this forum horny and feeling the love hahahaha

for some reason im in an amazing mood today and just wanted to warn you all im on the wine tonight mmmmmmmmm

should be a cheeky little number,nice and fruity full bodied mmmmmmm tantalizingly tingly on the lips with a soft sweet aroma

so sorry if i may waffle and talk bollox but theres nothing new there eh

tell you what lets all get pished on the forum hahahahaha hic!hic!

on second thought lets not its like a kids play ground on here anyway sometimes pmsl and i dont want u all fighting and falling out hahahahahahahaha

waffle waffle waffle chat type

peanut-on-a-wine-mission-later

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"god we must be scraping the forum barrel if all we gota talk about is farts lmfaofs

its friday so lets get it on and get this forum horny and feeling the love hahahaha

for some reason im in an amazing mood today and just wanted to warn you all im on the wine tonight mmmmmmmmm

should be a cheeky little number,nice and fruity full bodied mmmmmmm tantalizingly tingly on the lips with a soft sweet aroma

so sorry if i may waffle and talk bollox but theres nothing new there eh

tell you what lets all get pished on the forum hahahahaha hic!hic!

on second thought lets not its like a kids play ground on here anyway sometimes pmsl and i dont want u all fighting and falling out hahahahahahahaha

waffle waffle waffle chat type

peanut-on-a-wine-mission-later"

Sounds like youwere talking about your ideal lady not wine?! Lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Why is it that a silent fart usually stinks wheras a good old rasp is disppointingly odourless ?

Is it to give the element of suprise when you let a silent one slip maybe ?

Weird ....

the noise is the odour burning off...

"

Noo - that's the scorch marks on ya underpants lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Then they ask, "Why do farts smell?"

So that deaf people can also get the benefit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

mine smell of roses lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do old people fart every time they walk?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"god we must be scraping the forum barrel if all we gota talk about is farts lmfaofs

its friday so lets get it on and get this forum horny and feeling the love hahahaha

for some reason im in an amazing mood today and just wanted to warn you all im on the wine tonight mmmmmmmmm

should be a cheeky little number,nice and fruity full bodied mmmmmmm tantalizingly tingly on the lips with a soft sweet aroma

so sorry if i may waffle and talk bollox but theres nothing new there eh

tell you what lets all get pished on the forum hahahahaha hic!hic!

on second thought lets not its like a kids play ground on here anyway sometimes pmsl and i dont want u all fighting and falling out hahahahahahahaha

waffle waffle waffle chat type

peanut-on-a-wine-mission-later

Sounds like youwere talking about your ideal lady not wine?! Lol"

hehehehe yeah it sounded like that but ive not met her yet so i wouldnt know what my ideal lady was,if ya know what i mean

peanut

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Three things in life are a certainty.

1. You will always get screwed with Tax

2. Blow jobs are always welcome

3. FARTS ARE ALWAYS FUNNY

Ps... Very funny if getting a Blow Job!

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Anyone on here actually set light to a fart just for a laugh?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Friend of mine at work the other day was telling me a story about her partner who tried it pissed and set fire to his pubes from back to front they all synged and he screamed the place down for all of 10 mins after lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Anyone on here actually set light to a fart just for a laugh?

"

Jo!!!! Im shocked... LMAO @ Issy

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago


"Anyone on here actually set light to a fart just for a laugh?

Jo!!!! Im shocked... LMAO @ Issy"

LMAO...you would have been shocked if you had seen the flame that came out of his arse!!! I can still smell the singed bum hair even now hahahaha

*It was a long time ago and of course now im a mum I would not condone such ridiculous and dangerous behavior*

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Anyone on here actually set light to a fart just for a laugh?

Jo!!!! Im shocked... LMAO @ Issy

LMAO...you would have been shocked if you had seen the flame that came out of his arse!!! I can still smell the singed bum hair even now hahahaha

*It was a long time ago and of course now im a mum I would not condone such ridiculous and dangerous behavior*"

Cook, Cook, Cookability, that's the beauty of gas !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ste's farts have been horrendous these past few days =(

but he says so have mine aswell hehe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

talking of farts ....rob says he lit one once on his night shift like you do at work and got an amazing blue flame appear so excited was his work mates that they all got down doing the fart flame thing so that night they got through 4 lighters .heheheheh ps if he farts at home he blames not the food but that he has been eating polos ..ye right

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

rob says that brussels cheese and black pudding washed down with cabbage juice will give you only slight wind prob ..some how i dont believe him no wonder he buys so many pairs of under wear ...

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

Just for Lickety xxx

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

I once had a fart that lasted about 20 seconds. It's amazing what you can do with them when they last so long

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"I once had a fart that lasted about 20 seconds. It's amazing what you can do with them when they last so long"
So what did you do with it?

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush


"I once had a fart that lasted about 20 seconds. It's amazing what you can do with them when they last so longSo what did you do with it? "

Tried to turn it into a mini musical

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"I once had a fart that lasted about 20 seconds. It's amazing what you can do with them when they last so longSo what did you do with it?

Tried to turn it into a mini musical"
Did you record it for posterity?

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By *hole Lotta RosieWoman
over a year ago

Deviant City

when I was in hospital last year, I had a very windy problem all night, I just had to let rip, but they weren't silent!

The day after, the lady in the next bed was on the phone to somebody and said loudly (to make sure I heard!!) 'I got no sleep at all, it was like a fucking farm with the noises and smells!'

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Just for Lickety xxx "

It's lovely to think I inspired a fart!

Flatulence - a blowing or breaking wind. A tight-arse leads to a louder fart.

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush


"I once had a fart that lasted about 20 seconds. It's amazing what you can do with them when they last so longSo what did you do with it?

Tried to turn it into a mini musicalDid you record it for posterity? "

I wish I had. It was a fond moment. Joseph and his amazing technicolor dream fart was the musical

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush


"when I was in hospital last year, I had a very windy problem all night, I just had to let rip, but they weren't silent!

The day after, the lady in the next bed was on the phone to somebody and said loudly (to make sure I heard!!) 'I got no sleep at all, it was like a fucking farm with the noises and smells!'

"

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By * n zCouple
over a year ago

leamington spa


"I once had a fart that lasted about 20 seconds. It's amazing what you can do with them when they last so long"

Omg ......lol, you must have seen your stomach go down as you let that off.......set fire to it and it could have been a lethal weapon !!!!! ( eat your heart out terminator 3 )

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I once had a fart that lasted about 20 seconds. It's amazing what you can do with them when they last so longSo what did you do with it?

Tried to turn it into a mini musicalDid you record it for posterity?

I wish I had. It was a fond moment. Joseph and his amazing technicolor dream fart was the musical"

If it was technicoloured does that mean there was a certain amount of follow through?

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"I once had a fart that lasted about 20 seconds. It's amazing what you can do with them when they last so longSo what did you do with it?

Tried to turn it into a mini musicalDid you record it for posterity?

I wish I had. It was a fond moment. Joseph and his amazing technicolor dream fart was the musical

If it was technicoloured does that mean there was a certain amount of follow through?"
Why am i thinking of the colour puce?

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

No follow through, but in the interval of the mini musical. I started to parade around like a trumpet player, in a big brass band.

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"No follow through, but in the interval of the mini musical. I started to parade around like a trumpet player, in a big brass band. "
Awwwww trombone solo would be better

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By *hole Lotta RosieWoman
over a year ago

Deviant City

hate having to hold a fart in when I'm on a meet.....have to try sneak off to the toilet but you can guarantee somebody is in there, faffing with hair and make up

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By *ub preferredMan
over a year ago

East Kilbride

Yip, totally agree, but root vegetables or broccoli ruin our relationship lol x

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush


"hate having to hold a fart in when I'm on a meet.....have to try sneak off to the toilet but you can guarantee somebody is in there, faffing with hair and make up "

Are they from the audience ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"hate having to hold a fart in when I'm on a meet.....have to try sneak off to the toilet but you can guarantee somebody is in there, faffing with hair and make up "

Do you let it sneak out silently and disappear?(I assume you are talking a club meet here)

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By *hole Lotta RosieWoman
over a year ago

Deviant City


"hate having to hold a fart in when I'm on a meet.....have to try sneak off to the toilet but you can guarantee somebody is in there, faffing with hair and make up

Are they from the audience ?"

no, lol

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"hate having to hold a fart in when I'm on a meet.....have to try sneak off to the toilet but you can guarantee somebody is in there, faffing with hair and make up "

Find a fart fetishist. There seems to be a fetish for everything so I am sure you will find someone who wants to meet a flatulent person.

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"hate having to hold a fart in when I'm on a meet.....have to try sneak off to the toilet but you can guarantee somebody is in there, faffing with hair and make up

Find a fart fetishist. There seems to be a fetish for everything so I am sure you will find someone who wants to meet a flatulent person."
Some people like to be farted on, i know Marquis De Sade used to like it

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By *hole Lotta RosieWoman
over a year ago

Deviant City


"hate having to hold a fart in when I'm on a meet.....have to try sneak off to the toilet but you can guarantee somebody is in there, faffing with hair and make up

Do you let it sneak out silently and disappear?(I assume you are talking a club meet here) "

they dont often come out silently

yea usually club meets...not had no house or hotel meets for 4 months now.

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By *hole Lotta RosieWoman
over a year ago

Deviant City


"hate having to hold a fart in when I'm on a meet.....have to try sneak off to the toilet but you can guarantee somebody is in there, faffing with hair and make up

Find a fart fetishist. There seems to be a fetish for everything so I am sure you will find someone who wants to meet a flatulent person."

oooh no, I've seen porn with this fetish and it made me cringe

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

I like the ones you let go in a supermarket. They come out in a controlled fashion with every step furp, fury, furp, furp. Then you leg it into the next aisle, before someone walks into it and eats it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"hate having to hold a fart in when I'm on a meet.....have to try sneak off to the toilet but you can guarantee somebody is in there, faffing with hair and make up

Do you let it sneak out silently and disappear?(I assume you are talking a club meet here)

they dont often come out silently

yea usually club meets...not had no house or hotel meets for 4 months now."

Let it out as you walk then they can't pin it on you. There is nothing that livens a compact room up more than an evil but silent fart.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I like the ones you let go in a supermarket. They come out in a controlled fashion with every step furp, fury, furp, furp. Then you leg it into the next aisle, before someone walks into it and eats it "

PMSL you are evil mate!

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"I like the ones you let go in a supermarket. They come out in a controlled fashion with every step furp, fury, furp, furp. Then you leg it into the next aisle, before someone walks into it and eats it "
Post of the week!!!!!!

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

I have to go to bed now. Tears are rolling down my face and my belly hurts so much

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I like the ones you let go in a supermarket. They come out in a controlled fashion with every step furp, fury, furp, furp. Then you leg it into the next aisle, before someone walks into it and eats it Post of the week!!!!!! "

Not in the food aisles - save it for cleaning products.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I have to go to bed now. Tears are rolling down my face and my belly hurts so much "

Careful, you'll end up with sodden fluff again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have to go to bed now. Tears are rolling down my face and my belly hurts so much "

Well just dont fart and follow through while laughing.

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By *hole Lotta RosieWoman
over a year ago

Deviant City

I did a silent one in Primarni last week and a woman walked straight into it and coughed and splurted everywhere. Had to keep a straight face whilst looking at the onesies!

I'm not at all lady like!

I'm terrible at burping too

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By *hole Lotta RosieWoman
over a year ago

Deviant City

[Removed by poster at 29/11/12 23:45:18]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just don't let rip in a lift......

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By *hole Lotta RosieWoman
over a year ago

Deviant City

oooh, I've yet to do this

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago


"I like the ones you let go in a supermarket. They come out in a controlled fashion with every step furp, fury, furp, furp. Then you leg it into the next aisle, before someone walks into it and eats it "

Legend!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have to go to bed now. Tears are rolling down my face and my belly hurts so much "

Animal!!

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

I actually woke up at 4am this morning laughing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why is it that a silent fart usually stinks wheras a good old rasp is disppointingly odourless ?

Is it to give the element of suprise when you let a silent one slip maybe ?

Weird ...."

Farts only smell for the benefit of the deaf.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I actually woke up at 4am this morning laughing "

Bet you farted before you laughed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is it still Thursday?

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush


"I actually woke up at 4am this morning laughing

Bet you farted before you laughed "

Not before. During

To the tune of Any Dream Will Do

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I actually woke up at 4am this morning laughing

Bet you farted before you laughed

Not before. During

To the tune of Any Dream Will Do "

"Pull back the curtain and see for certain..." that the window is open.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why is it that a silent fart usually stinks wheras a good old rasp is disppointingly odourless ?

Is it to give the element of suprise when you let a silent one slip maybe ?

Weird ...."

Just looked this up on google (yes it's sad) and its to do with expansion and mass. A loud fart expands less on the way out and has less mass...a silent one has more mass so pushes out. As it has more mass and expansion it has more stink..so now you know.

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

I closed my eyes, drew back the curtain

To see for certain what I thought I knew

And as I looked, I started weeping

God I hope I'm dreaming

I think I've followed through

,

A thunder noise, a flash of light

My England flag blown out of sight

The smell it faded into darkness

I had lit my fart

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I like the ones you let go in a supermarket. They come out in a controlled fashion with every step furp, fury, furp, furp. Then you leg it into the next aisle, before someone walks into it and eats it "

I always wonder who the culprit was now we know.

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