FabSwingers.com forum: Married but not living together

By *tephenAndHisPicklenic OP Man
5 weeks ago

Ends

What do you think of this?

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By *riar BelisseWoman
5 weeks ago

On Holibobs

Its the only way I'd survive being married pickles

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By *rHotNottsMan
5 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Separated right ?

I know quite a few that do this, usually because of visas or job opportunities, rather than by choice.

I think it’s nice to make that public commitment, even if the timing or circumstances isn’t quite right to live together.

But to do it because you want to retain your independence I find a bit odd because marriage is about choosing interdependance over independence. It feels a little bit like having your cake and eating it. If you’re not ready to share your life fully with somebody then is marriage the right thing.?

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By *ell GwynnWoman
5 weeks ago

North Yorkshire

What's the context? Are they estranged, or is it a happy relationship and this is how they prefer to be? I need details, Pickle.

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By *tephenAndHisPicklenic OP Man
5 weeks ago

Ends

"What's the context? Are they estranged, or is it a happy relationship and this is how they prefer to be? I need details, Pickle. "

Yes they’re happy

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By *heGateKeeperMan
5 weeks ago

Stratford

Think it’s more common, especially among older couples. I think we all need space

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By *oroRick1027Man
5 weeks ago

Middlesbrough

"What's the context? Are they estranged, or is it a happy relationship and this is how they prefer to be? I need details, Pickle. "

Could I just ask how you get any messages when your age limit is set at 99-99?

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By *tephenAndHisPicklenic OP Man
5 weeks ago

Ends

"What's the context? Are they estranged, or is it a happy relationship and this is how they prefer to be? I need details, Pickle.

Could I just ask how you get any messages when your age limit is set at 99-99?"

I think that’s the point

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By *tephenAndHisPicklenic OP Man
5 weeks ago

Ends

"Think it’s more common, especially among older couples. I think we all need space "

R E A L

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By *riar BelisseWoman
5 weeks ago

On Holibobs

"Separated right ?

I know quite a few that do this, usually because of visas or job opportunities, rather than by choice.

I think it’s nice to make that public commitment, even if the timing or circumstances isn’t quite right to live together.

Yes. Because marriage would be the commitment between the two of us. How we tailor it to suit us, not societys norms. Is what's special about it

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By *ell GwynnWoman
5 weeks ago

North Yorkshire

"What's the context? Are they estranged, or is it a happy relationship and this is how they prefer to be? I need details, Pickle.

Yes they’re happy"

Good on them. Not everyone is able to identify what they need from a relationship if it deviates from the traditional model. If a couple are happiest maintaining their own spaces whilst still being committed to each other I think it shows good self-awareness and emotional intelligence.

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By *midnight-Woman
5 weeks ago

...

It sounds perfect to me

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By *iker JackMan
5 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

There are lots of people that do this. It could be for a multitude of reasons including work and home locations or the fact it just works for you

To be honest I feel that over the last few years the need to actually be married has been eroded.

So do whatever you want and however you decide to define that

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By *carlet SeductionWoman
5 weeks ago

Maidstone

I don't understand why people choose to do this. Why get married but spend your time apart? Seems like a whole heap of effort to me. But then I'm not sold on the whole marriage idea anyway. I guess we all do what's right for us so if that makes someone happy then why not? .. but if you marry me, I'm moving me and the kids and the cats in!

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By *ookie46Woman
5 weeks ago

Deepest darkest Peru

If I was ever to marry again this would be perfect

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By *ellinever70Woman
5 weeks ago

Ayrshire

It doesn't make financial sense

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By *onkeynutWoman
5 weeks ago

somewhere

If I ever felt strongly enough about someone to marry them, then I wouldn’t choose to live apart, I’d want to be close to them and share my life totally….

However, the thought of marrying or even living with someone is 😱

But if that situation works for them and they are both happy then it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.

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By *929Man
5 weeks ago

bedlington

I doubt I’ll ever get married even if I lived with someone never mind not living together.

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By *he Flat CapsCouple
5 weeks ago

Pontypool

This is what we are doing. It works well for us.

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By (user no longer on site)
5 weeks ago

The way forward

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By *ohn.Wick.Man
5 weeks ago

The Continental

Now there’s an idea…….

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By *oveandfastWoman
5 weeks ago

Bromsgrove

Amazing if you can afford it- especially if you have children because those childcare fees will be a third mortgage 😩

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By *ollyPocket75Woman
5 weeks ago

Aberdeen

I don't understand why people would do this, you get married to be with that person in everyway surely? Just my opinion

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By *tephenAndHisPicklenic OP Man
5 weeks ago

Ends

Different relationship types work in different ways?

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By *allipygousMan
5 weeks ago

Leicester

"This is what we are doing. It works well for us. "

Are you married though? The question is for married couples, not for couples who aren't married, of which there are loads that don't live together.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
5 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

"It feels a little bit like having your cake and eating it."

I hate this phrase. What's the point in having cake at all if you're not going to eat it?

I don't intend to live with a partner again. I like my space. I like my home to be mine. I'm not breeding so I don't need the support of a coparent. But that doesn't exclude me from committed relationships 💜

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By *ildTimes.Man
5 weeks ago

Colchester/London

I've got 3 baby mummas....does that count? 🥪

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By *he Flat CapsCouple
5 weeks ago

Pontypool

"This is what we are doing. It works well for us.

Are you married though? The question is for married couples, not for couples who aren't married, of which there are loads that don't live together."

My comment is self explanatory.

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By *allipygousMan
5 weeks ago

Leicester

"This is what we are doing. It works well for us.

Are you married though? The question is for married couples, not for couples who aren't married, of which there are loads that don't live together.

My comment is self explanatory. "

Not married then.

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By *he Flat CapsCouple
5 weeks ago

Pontypool

"This is what we are doing. It works well for us.

Are you married though? The question is for married couples, not for couples who aren't married, of which there are loads that don't live together.

My comment is self explanatory.

Not married then. "

🙄

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By *illy IdolMan
5 weeks ago

Midlands

Where did they get married?

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By *eoBloomsMan
5 weeks ago

Springfield

Preferably in different countries.

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By *ubadubdubWoman
5 weeks ago

Hereabouts

"It feels a little bit like having your cake and eating it.

I hate this phrase. What's the point in having cake at all if you're not going to eat it?

I agree with you.

Especially with later-in-life relationships we can design our own way of doing it to meet our needs rather than to fit social norms.

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By *mudge354Man
5 weeks ago

Mid Sussex

I l8ved like this for years due to being in the Army. We both had out weekday lives then our lives together at weekend and on leave worked for us.

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By *he Flat CapsCouple
5 weeks ago

Pontypool

So many people I have spoken to about this have said it's the ideal set up. Mr. FC and I speak daily, we spend time together when we can - I still work, he is retired - it suits us very well.

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By *a LunaWoman
5 weeks ago

South Wales

If we were married then live together.

But otherwise I’m more than happy to have my place and they have theirs. I just don’t see the point in marrying someone and not living together. Although if we could afford adjoining houses then of course, that would be the dream and I could do that.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
5 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

I can see how this could work. Maybe not at first but after quite a few years 🤣

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
5 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"It doesn't make financial sense "

It can. Maybe not in terms of bills and expenditure, but it certainly can in terms of inheritance and asset protection. 🤷‍♂️

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By *onderWomanWlvWoman
5 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

When you get married, you aren't handed a rule book of rigid commandments of what it must look like.

Choosing to live separately doesn't mean those people love each other less, or are less committed, or any of the other nonsense said above.

If I had the choice between marriage with someone who just blindly did what they think society says they're supposed to do, versus marriage with someone who has the emotional intelligence and self awareness to know what they want and need, to communicate that clearly to a partner, to set and hold their boundaries while also respecting mine... I know which one I'd choose!

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By *tephenAndHisPicklenic OP Man
5 weeks ago

Ends

"When you get married, you aren't handed a rule book of rigid commandments of what it must look like."

Oh but apparently you are.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
5 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

"When you get married, you aren't handed a rule book of rigid commandments of what it must look like.

Oh but apparently you are. "

I mean. We're on a swinging website. Clearly everyone here adheres to the societal norms for relationships 💜

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By *tephenAndHisPicklenic OP Man
5 weeks ago

Ends

"When you get married, you aren't handed a rule book of rigid commandments of what it must look like.

Oh but apparently you are.

I mean. We're on a swinging website. Clearly everyone here adheres to the societal norms for relationships 💜"

Yes.

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By *naswingdressWoman
5 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

"When you get married, you aren't handed a rule book of rigid commandments of what it must look like.

Oh but apparently you are.

I mean. We're on a swinging website. Clearly everyone here adheres to the societal norms for relationships 💜"

🎯

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By *porty_and_NaughtyCouple
5 weeks ago

Swansea

Someone I know has lived in a separate house to her husband for the past 5 years, and it's saved their marriage. If they hadn't tried it their relationship would have failed. But now they are more friendly, have occasional sleepovers and spend quality time together.

Mrs

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By *tressfreezoneMan
5 weeks ago

cardiff

We live in London but I spend a couple of nights a week away working. The breathing space is good

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By *amie HantsWoman
5 weeks ago

Atlantis

Never say never. I wouldn’t marry someone with the view that this is how we would end up but if we got there organically who's to say how I’d feel. If I didn’t want to live with someone I wouldn’t marry them.

Different things work for different people

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By *vaRose43Woman
5 weeks ago

Forest of Dean

If they’re happy then that’s all I need to know

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By *r.and.Mrs.DSCouple
5 weeks ago

N. Wales

I'd hate not living with Mr. I like hearing how it works for people, it's fascinating to me!

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By *ea monkeyMan
5 weeks ago

Manchester (he/him)

"When you get married, you aren't handed a rule book of rigid commandments of what it must look like.

Choosing to live separately doesn't mean those people love each other less, or are less committed, or any of the other nonsense said above.

Bingo!

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By *ea monkeyMan
5 weeks ago

Manchester (he/him)

To me this is how I think marriage would work for me in the future.

Relationships, good relationships, aren’t built on codependency or habitual domestication, they’re built on intentional interactions and intimacy, clear communication and mutual understanding of the others needs. There’s nothing that says that you have to live together

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By *r.and.Mrs.DSCouple
5 weeks ago

N. Wales

"To me this is how I think marriage would work for me in the future.

My best friend thinks this too. She's loved living alone for so long, that she could not imagine herself ever wanting to live with a partner at all.

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By *hesblokeMan
5 weeks ago

Derbyshire village

I know two couples that do this, one my kinda age and one older. Seems to work for them, they're all happy enough - don't think I'd like it unless the houses were very close.

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