FabSwingers.com forum: Instant judgement

Teesside/North Yorkshire

Would you instantly judge someone for the style of their hair or type of clothes they wear. I personally reserve judgement until we've spoken.

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By *mf123Man
3 weeks ago

with one foot out the door

Yes

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
3 weeks ago

East Sussex

"Would you instantly judge someone for the style of their hair or type of clothes they wear. I personally reserve judgement until we've spoken. "

What's the context?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
3 weeks ago

East Sussex

But mostly yes. I think everyone makes a judgement on appearance within seconds even if it's subconcious

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By *ou only live onceMan
3 weeks ago

London

Yes, I'll know if I find someone physically attractive pretty quickly, if that's what you mean.

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By *mf123Man
3 weeks ago

with one foot out the door

If someone looks like a homeless i dont want to speak to them

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By *ensual Desires OP Man
3 weeks ago

Teesside/North Yorkshire

"Would you instantly judge someone for the style of their hair or type of clothes they wear. I personally reserve judgement until we've spoken.

What's the context?"

When you look at someone say with a Monica tattoos piercings and dark clothing and think they are trouble. Or would you reserve judgement until you had spoken

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By *ensual Desires OP Man
3 weeks ago

Teesside/North Yorkshire

"Would you instantly judge someone for the style of their hair or type of clothes they wear. I personally reserve judgement until we've spoken.

What's the context?

When you look at someone say with a Monica tattoos piercings and dark clothing and think they are trouble. Or would you reserve judgement until you had spoken "

That's mohican

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
3 weeks ago

East Sussex

"Would you instantly judge someone for the style of their hair or type of clothes they wear. I personally reserve judgement until we've spoken.

What's the context?

When you look at someone say with a Monica tattoos piercings and dark clothing and think they are trouble. Or would you reserve judgement until you had spoken "

There are a lot of people in my family who look like that. I'd probably judge them to be ok and nice to be around.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
3 weeks ago

East Sussex

^^ minus the mohican

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By *mf123Man
3 weeks ago

with one foot out the door

"^^ minus the mohican"
were they the last one

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By *ensual Desires OP Man
3 weeks ago

Teesside/North Yorkshire

"Would you instantly judge someone for the style of their hair or type of clothes they wear. I personally reserve judgement until we've spoken.

What's the context?

When you look at someone say with a Monica tattoos piercings and dark clothing and think they are trouble. Or would you reserve judgement until you had spoken

There are a lot of people in my family who look like that. I'd probably judge them to be ok and nice to be around. "

I instantly get judged on my appearance but the people that talk to me always say I'm such a gentleman and softy.

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By *ensual Desires OP Man
3 weeks ago

Teesside/North Yorkshire

"^^ minus the mohicanwere they the last one"
i am

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
3 weeks ago

East Sussex

"Would you instantly judge someone for the style of their hair or type of clothes they wear. I personally reserve judgement until we've spoken.

What's the context?

When you look at someone say with a Monica tattoos piercings and dark clothing and think they are trouble. Or would you reserve judgement until you had spoken

There are a lot of people in my family who look like that. I'd probably judge them to be ok and nice to be around.

I instantly get judged on my appearance but the people that talk to me always say I'm such a gentleman and softy."

I instantly get judged on my appearance too. People judge me to be posh and rich. I'm neither.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
3 weeks ago

East Sussex

"^^ minus the mohicanwere they the last one"

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By *ampireLoveMan
3 weeks ago

Essex & Bristol

I try to never judge. I just make an informed decision on whether we would get on or not based on based on my personality and theirs, which would be from speaking with them and knowing a bit more about them and their general views on life.

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By *riar BelisseWoman
3 weeks ago

On Holibobs

No. I judge people on their behaviour, if hes running at me with a manic joker smile on his face, wearing a ballgown, Im still gonna leg it

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By *ensual Desires OP Man
3 weeks ago

Teesside/North Yorkshire

"Would you instantly judge someone for the style of their hair or type of clothes they wear. I personally reserve judgement until we've spoken.

What's the context?

When you look at someone say with a Monica tattoos piercings and dark clothing and think they are trouble. Or would you reserve judgement until you had spoken

There are a lot of people in my family who look like that. I'd probably judge them to be ok and nice to be around.

I instantly get judged on my appearance but the people that talk to me always say I'm such a gentleman and softy.

I instantly get judged on my appearance too. People judge me to be posh and rich. I'm neither. "

The funny thing is the older ladies always ask me for help if they need it. I've spoken to people off here and I'm now their unofficial confidant

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
3 weeks ago

East Sussex

If I was walking alone in a secluded area I'd make immediate judgements based on looks.

If I was interviewing prospective candidates for a job I would too.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
3 weeks ago

East Sussex

"Would you instantly judge someone for the style of their hair or type of clothes they wear. I personally reserve judgement until we've spoken.

What's the context?

When you look at someone say with a Monica tattoos piercings and dark clothing and think they are trouble. Or would you reserve judgement until you had spoken

There are a lot of people in my family who look like that. I'd probably judge them to be ok and nice to be around.

I instantly get judged on my appearance but the people that talk to me always say I'm such a gentleman and softy.

I instantly get judged on my appearance too. People judge me to be posh and rich. I'm neither.

The funny thing is the older ladies always ask me for help if they need it. I've spoken to people off here and I'm now their unofficial confidant "

I attract the bus stop chatters.

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By *igNick1381Man
3 weeks ago

BRIDGEND

"Would you instantly judge someone for the style of their hair or type of clothes they wear. I personally reserve judgement until we've spoken.

What's the context?

When you look at someone say with a Monica tattoos piercings and dark clothing and think they are trouble. Or would you reserve judgement until you had spoken "

I would absolutely judge someone with a Monica tattoo

Phoebe was the best

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By *ensual Desires OP Man
3 weeks ago

Teesside/North Yorkshire

"Would you instantly judge someone for the style of their hair or type of clothes they wear. I personally reserve judgement until we've spoken.

What's the context?

When you look at someone say with a Monica tattoos piercings and dark clothing and think they are trouble. Or would you reserve judgement until you had spoken

I would absolutely judge someone with a Monica tattoo

Phoebe was the best "

Stupid auto correct didn't like Mohican

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By *issolvedOrdersMan
3 weeks ago

Bristol

Not at all! Being a metal head with facial piercings and a wardrobe that’s alternative and mostly black I’ve encountered it myself. Never judge a book by the cover

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By *naswingdressWoman
3 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

I think most people form an initial impression. It's whether people are willing to overcome it that's the question

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By *ensual Desires OP Man
3 weeks ago

Teesside/North Yorkshire

"Not at all! Being a metal head with facial piercings and a wardrobe that’s alternative and mostly black I’ve encountered it myself. Never judge a book by the cover "

That's me except I have a mohican my clothes are dark lots of skulls etc

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
3 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

As a big weirdo myself I don't think poorly of people who choose to present themselves as something other than the norm.

If someone gives off dickhead vibes I'll think they're a dickhead. Doesn't mean I won't give them the opportunity to prove me wrong if the context is relevant. But part of the survival instinct is to recognise threats. Ignoring that for the sake of being inclusive and not judgemental seems dumb 💜

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By *issolvedOrdersMan
3 weeks ago

Bristol

"Not at all! Being a metal head with facial piercings and a wardrobe that’s alternative and mostly black I’ve encountered it myself. Never judge a book by the cover

That's me except I have a mohican my clothes are dark lots of skulls etc"

We do get some funny looks

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By *he_TicklersCouple
3 weeks ago

Havant & Aberdare

Rightly or wrongly yes, everyone does

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By *rHotNottsMan
3 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

No & after speaking to them no. I don’t need to judge people to live my life make the right decisions

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By *ealitybitesMan
3 weeks ago

Belfast

I might form an initial opinion on them until I had actually spoken to them.

I judge people on their actions rather than their appearance.

I have worked with lots of people over the years who were big into the punk scene or heavy metal.

They were no different to anyone else I worked with or knew.

Some were and are amazing human beings while others were cunts but that has nothing to do with their haircut or tatts.

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By *urvyBunnyWoman
3 weeks ago

Suffolk

I think we all do it to an extent, without even realising. I have blue hair and have noticed a lot of people looking and judging me without speaking to me first.

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By *ositiveVibesWoman
3 weeks ago

here there and everywhere

I try not to… having funky hair colours that change every few months and a fair amount of tattoos…. I try to reserve judgement.. but sometimes it’s just instinctive and you can’t really control it 🤷🏻‍♀️

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
3 weeks ago

BRIDPORT

I judge people on first impressions, but I continue to evaluate that judgement as I learn more about them, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse.

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By *orthern StarsCouple
3 weeks ago

Durham

Yes we do, especially on the scene. If for example, we arranged a social meet and they turned up in jogging bottoms we would be disappointed. First impressions do count.

Our first impressions can of course turn out to be wrong but it's what we go off.

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
3 weeks ago

A den in the Glen

"I think most people form an initial impression. It's whether people are willing to overcome it that's the question "

This for me. Initially judge because that's human instinct, then happy to be convinced otherwise, better or worse.

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
3 weeks ago

A den in the Glen

"I try not to… having funky hair colours that change every few months and a fair amount of tattoos…. I try to reserve judgement.. but sometimes it’s just instinctive and you can’t really control it 🤷🏻‍♀️"

My old FWB had a chest piece, slightly similar to you, Amy Winehouse -type tattoos and bright hair and piercings.

She would attract quite a few stares (more likely looks of disapproval) but was actually a very kind person who dedicated her life in her job and outside of it helping so many people.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
3 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

"I judge people on first impressions, but I continue to evaluate that judgement as I learn more about them, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse.

This.

Inwardly though. I’ll admit I’m very judgemental. In my own head though 🙂😇

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
3 weeks ago

Cheshire

No. And an extra no to solidify my answer

In fact the more outlandish you appear the more I’d probably like you. My admiration for those who literally walk their own path helps me gain the confidence to do the same.

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By *ongandharderMan
3 weeks ago

Rotherham

Depends

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By *urnedoutniceagainMan
3 weeks ago

louth

They say never go off first impressions but how many times have you been wrong?

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By (user no longer on site)
3 weeks ago

People judge and people that say they don't lie and judge hahahah

Fab is all about judgment!!!!

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By *mmaleiaWoman
3 weeks ago

Trowbridge

As somebody who had a lot of tattoos before it became the ‘in thing’ I was judged a lot, most people would say, ‘god I was shit scared of you until you spoke to me’

Maybe I liked it that way

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By *parkle1974Woman
3 weeks ago

Leeds

"People judge and people that say they don't lie and judge hahahah

Fab is all about judgment!!!! "

You beat me to it

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By (user no longer on site)
3 weeks ago

"People judge and people that say they don't lie and judge hahahah

Fab is all about judgment!!!!

You beat me to it

Don't you be agreeing with me now hahahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
3 weeks ago

"As somebody who had a lot of tattoos before it became the ‘in thing’ I was judged a lot, most people would say, ‘god I was shit scared of you until you spoke to me’

Maybe I liked it that way

Where are these tattoos at i feel like some judgment hahaha

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By *mmaleiaWoman
3 weeks ago

Trowbridge

"As somebody who had a lot of tattoos before it became the ‘in thing’ I was judged a lot, most people would say, ‘god I was shit scared of you until you spoke to me’

Maybe I liked it that way

Where are these tattoos at i feel like some judgment hahaha"

Hidden away, done late 80’s early 90’s!

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By (user no longer on site)
3 weeks ago

[Removed by poster at 21/01/25 13:45:40]

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By (user no longer on site)
3 weeks ago

"As somebody who had a lot of tattoos before it became the ‘in thing’ I was judged a lot, most people would say, ‘god I was shit scared of you until you spoke to me’

Maybe I liked it that way

Where are these tattoos at i feel like some judgment hahaha

Hidden away, done late 80’s early 90’s! "

Hidden whyy???

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By (user no longer on site)
3 weeks ago

"Would you instantly judge someone for the style of their hair or type of clothes they wear. I personally reserve judgement until we've spoken.

What's the context?

When you look at someone say with a Monica tattoos piercings and dark clothing and think they are trouble. Or would you reserve judgement until you had spoken "

I would say that's my perfect women

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By *parkle1974Woman
3 weeks ago

Leeds

"People judge and people that say they don't lie and judge hahahah

Fab is all about judgment!!!!

You beat me to it

Don't you be agreeing with me now hahahaha

I do sometimes agree with men

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By (user no longer on site)
3 weeks ago

"People judge and people that say they don't lie and judge hahahah

Fab is all about judgment!!!!

You beat me to it

Don't you be agreeing with me now hahahaha

I do sometimes agree with men

Just not on other things hahaha

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By *onnie 90Woman
3 weeks ago

Leeds

Such narrow mindedness on here. I personally don't judge anyone unless they've given me a very good reason to.

This is a case of "never judge a book by its cover" but there's a hell of a lot of judgement on this thread which says a lot more about the poster than the subject. Arrogant bigotry. I mean, some of these comments are disgraceful.

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By *orthern StarsCouple
3 weeks ago

Durham

"Such narrow mindedness on here. I personally don't judge anyone unless they've given me a very good reason to.

You're judging people right there on what you've just said.

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By *ealitybitesMan
3 weeks ago

Belfast

"Such narrow mindedness on here. I personally don't judge anyone unless they've given me a very good reason to.

You must be reading a different thread? I don't see any arrogance or bigotry on this one.

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By *oeBeansMan
3 weeks ago

Derby

"Such narrow mindedness on here. I personally don't judge anyone unless they've given me a very good reason to.

I think a certain level of initial judgment is pretty useful, probably evolved as a defence mechanism to be wary of anything we consider different or outside the norm.

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By *ast Lothian couple 888Couple
3 weeks ago

east lothian

"Would you instantly judge someone for the style of their hair or type of clothes they wear. I personally reserve judgement until we've spoken. "
definitely wouldn’t judge a person’s personality based on looks but we 💯 could be turned off by how someone looks. We’re both are involved in another hobby that attracts all sorts of people some are way out there regarding how they look and some are pretty average Joe but the vast majority are amazing people

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By *amie HantsWoman
3 weeks ago

Atlantis

Yes. People make snap judgments all the time about people they’ve just met. Sometimes the judgments are good, sometimes they’re bad. Sometimes those judgments can be changed almost instantly, others can change over time and sometimes we’re right first time.

There’s no harm in quiet and internal judgments as long as you’re openminded enough to realise you’re judging with no evidence.

I’d never voice those judgements or treat someone badly because of how they look. It’s up to me to challenge my own thoughts

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By *tephenAndHisPicklenicMan
3 weeks ago

Ends

Yes I would.

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By *uddenly See MoreMan
3 weeks ago

Thornaby

"Would you instantly judge someone for the style of their hair or type of clothes they wear. I personally reserve judgement until we've spoken. definitely wouldn’t judge a person’s personality based on looks but we 💯 could be turned off by how someone looks. We’re both are involved in another hobby that attracts all sorts of people some are way out there regarding how they look and some are pretty average Joe but the vast majority are amazing people "

Finally, someone else that plays Dungeons and Dragons!

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By *eroLondonMan
3 weeks ago

Mayfair

"Such narrow mindedness on here. I personally don't judge anyone unless they've given me a very good reason to.

I think you're confusing judgement with damnation.

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By *neeyedwillieMan
3 weeks ago

Darlington

Yes I would.

I'll use an analogy i once heard as a young man.

"If someone served you a plate of what looked like dog poo, would you take a bite to find out in the hope its choclate"?

It was acctually about cooking and presentation but there's a social aspect to it.

First impressions matter is all I'm saying.

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By *reggSausageMan
3 weeks ago

derby

There’s some ten out of tens with absolutely diabolical personalities, there’s also some four out of tens with the same, looks are way down the list, yes it depends on the circumstances but if it’s on here there needs to be an attraction but in non fab life, personality and attitude are all important

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By *mateur100Man
3 weeks ago

nr faversham

Of course, first impressions and all that

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By *ansoffateMan
3 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

Yes absolutely and then if they talk to me, I interrupt them and explain who they are to them.

Possibly give them some advice on where they have gone wrong in life.

I enjoy being helpful.

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By *aptain Caveman41Man
3 weeks ago

Home

No unless you are wearing a maga hat then their a cunt plain and simple

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By *tephenAndHisPicklenicMan
3 weeks ago

Ends

OP I get you about reserving judgement BUT, and I won’t be elaborating, just because everyone can get dreads doesn’t mean they should

And I’m 100% judging some of the people that make that decision

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
3 weeks ago

East Sussex

Even if we're unaware that we're doing it we instinctively judge on first sight. It's what kept our ancestors relatively safe. Our conscious minds might kick in and tell us that we need to get to know a person to find out if that initial judgement is correct.

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Chichester

yes I judge everyone initially by appearance . doesnt stop me talking to people though

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By *inceIlkestonMan
3 weeks ago

Ilkeston

"Would you instantly judge someone for the style of their hair or type of clothes they wear. I personally reserve judgement until we've spoken. "

I only judge people by their actions, anything else is discrimination

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Chichester

"Would you instantly judge someone for the style of their hair or type of clothes they wear. I personally reserve judgement until we've spoken.

I only judge people by their actions, anything else is discrimination

I would say its my stereotyping over discrimination , I judge people initially by markers I can see , we all have our own world views on things and this is part of it .

its always interesting finding out if the pre thought is the same after dealing with someone ..

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By *artfordBlokeMan
3 weeks ago

Dartford

No, I'm not 12. Actions speak louder than trousers and haircuts.

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By *aramelChocolatecoupleCouple
3 weeks ago

Surrey

"Would you instantly judge someone for the style of their hair or type of clothes they wear. I personally reserve judgement until we've spoken. "

It's human nature to judge/have bias. Then hopefully we are mature enough to challenge our own judgements and biases in our heads.

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By *oubleswing2019Man
3 weeks ago

Colchester

I don't judge on appearance.

I do watch body language very closely however.

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By *tsJustKateWoman
3 weeks ago

London

Everybody does, whether they admit it or not. It's natural!

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By *luebell888Woman
3 weeks ago

Glasgowish

"If someone looks like a homeless i dont want to speak to them"

Why not?.

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By *iker JackMan
3 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

"If someone looks like a homeless i dont want to speak to them"

I truly hope you never end up in a position of being homeless or potentially homeless or even at a point where the way you look is less important than food or water

Then you may regret this when you become part of the “great unseen and unwanted”

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By *obdukesMan
3 weeks ago

small village

Unless they were wearing a t fruit of the loom jumper ! I just know we have nothing in common

couldn’t care less and I wouldn’t judge !

Besides what I mentioned

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By *iercedAndTattooedNE6Couple
3 weeks ago

Newcastle

I think in this environment physical attraction is a big part of it surely for everyone ? but it would be wrong to assume everyone is judging you the same, everyone likes what they like and what one person finds attractive another won’t, it’s just all part of the game

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By *orefun1Man
3 weeks ago

Durham/H'pool

We are all judging everything around us, all of the time. It's in-built, Part of our self-preservation and survival instincts.

What I think we shouldn't do is to arrive at a conclusion about someone or something, until we have a more/enough information. Our first impression could be correct, but also it could change as we get to know someone.

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By *exyScientistsCouple
3 weeks ago

Castlebar

We are all judging people's profiles to determine whether we meet or not, so I guess some judgement when you meet is inevitable. I wouldn't let any judgements that I make predetermine whether I might see the person again until I've had a conversation with them. I like to assess all the available information before making that decision.

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By *ananabrumMan
3 weeks ago

castle bromwich

"Would you instantly judge someone for the style of their hair or type of clothes they wear. I personally reserve judgement until we've spoken. "

the fact that you decided to reserve judjement until you've spoken to them shows you've already made a judgement based on their appearance.

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By *porty_and_NaughtyCouple
3 weeks ago

Swansea

"Would you instantly judge someone for the style of their hair or type of clothes they wear. I personally reserve judgement until we've spoken.

What's the context?

When you look at someone say with a Monica tattoos piercings and dark clothing and think they are trouble. Or would you reserve judgement until you had spoken "

Not trouble no. People I've met who dress like that are generally pretty chill. Like everyone, I've developed my own stereotypes that I'll use until a person demonstrates they don't fit them. Mohicans, tattoos and dark clothing don't have a trouble stereotype for me.

We all make judgements within seconds of seeing someone. Anyone who claims they don't is lying to themselves. I believe the trick isn't pretending we don't make such judgements but acknowledging it and ensuring that, where necessary, we judge a person on their behaviour not our preconceived ideas.

It's perfectly reasonable to make unquestioned judgements about random strangers with whom we are not going to interact. On the other hand, in an interview for example, it is important to question our stereotypes and be aware of our biases and actively work to ensure they are not clouding our judgement.

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