FabSwingers.com forum: Swinging with a Hesitant Partner

Bedford

I love swinging, but my partner isn’t fully on board with the idea yet. She has, however, given me the green light to explore it on my own for now. I’m hopeful that, with time, she’ll feel ready to join me. If you’ve been in a similar situation, how did you help your partner become more open to the idea?

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By (user no longer on site)
4 weeks ago

give the lady time and respect her wishes

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By *uenevereWoman
4 weeks ago

Scunthorpe

Hmm, as part of a swinging couple this makes me uncomfortable.

Are you SURE she's really on board with you meeting alone? She may be afraid to lose you if she doesn't agree to an arrangement of some sort.

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By *uenevereWoman
4 weeks ago

Scunthorpe

Swinging is not suitable for most couples.

If it's not for her, leave it be.

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By *ornycougaWoman
4 weeks ago

MADERIA Wherever I lay my hat

"Hmm, as part of a swinging couple this makes me uncomfortable.

Are you SURE she's really on board with you meeting alone? She may be afraid to lose you if she doesn't agree to an arrangement of some sort."

My thoughts exactly. Tread slowly and carefully and encourage her to be totally open in voicing her fears and insecurities - and listen to her.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
4 weeks ago

Leeds

"Hmm, as part of a swinging couple this makes me uncomfortable.

Are you SURE she's really on board with you meeting alone? She may be afraid to lose you if she doesn't agree to an arrangement of some sort."

This for me too.

It's just not for some people and that's ok.

If she wants to try she'll tell you, don't put any pressure on.

Mrs

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By *atgirl and RobinCouple
4 weeks ago

Durham

For swinging to truly work for both parties the relationship needs to be rock solid. If one partner isn't fully on board it will inevitably end in hurt.

If she doesn't want to do it then you have to respect her wishes. To keep on trying to get her to come round to the idea will just cause resentment in her mind, and doubt that a) You're fully invested in her and b) She's enough for you.

Do you really want those thoughts in her head?

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By *eyond PurityCouple
4 weeks ago

Lincolnshire

I wouldn’t swing if my partner was hesitant. I wouldn’t risk losing that connection you have with each other for a cheap thrill.

Being honest and open and listening to each other would be at the forefront of my mind.

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By *host63Man
4 weeks ago

Bedfont Feltham

If you want to stay with your partner I wouldn't explore o. Your own.

Just forget about it and enjoy what you have

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By *ansoffateMan
4 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

Whilst your desire to help may come from a good place, I would establish if your partner wants that kind of support. It could very easily be received as pressure, if not.

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By *ools and the brainCouple
4 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.

When we first started swinging we met ( socially) so many couples be it an arranged meet or at a club or party where one of the couple usually the female was clearly uncomfortable with the situation and clearly only there for the partner,in fact one couple about ten years ago she said that she didn't want to play and only came along because she didn't trust him,sure enough a week later he contacted us via a different profile ( this was a different site btw) asking if he could meet us alone we blocked.

OP you asked a question honestly you can't force it if you do it'll end badly even going it alone will end up causing hurt and resentment.

If you want an honest opinion: close your profile concentrate on being a couple don't worry about getting your end away bring the subject up from time to time and start slowly if she wants to if not then just love her and respect her.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
4 weeks ago

East Sussex

Find out what she's hesitant about, talk to her about it all, accept whatever she says

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By *linky1Couple
4 weeks ago

Sittingbourne

The best thing to say is.

No I would rather explore with you and have no interest in playing on my own.

Seems like common sense to me.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
4 weeks ago

East Sussex

"The best thing to say is.

No I would rather explore with you and have no interest in playing on my own.

Seems like common sense to me."

But that is demonstrably not true because here he is

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By *ools and the brainCouple
4 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.

Another piece of advice, when we first started jools was quite unsure to be honest we both were as had no idea how it all went.

So we started slowly, just chatting online with people to start then going into chat rooms and camming, moved onto meeting for drinks and a chat it's surprising how liberating it can be just chatting with open minded people who are interested in the same thing with no judgement.

From there we agreed to play but at the start it was soft swing ( which isn't for everyone) but meet's with no penetration this slow progression allowed things to move at a pace we felt comfortable with everything moved on at it's own pace she now has a single hot wife profile as well and does her own thing.

But here's the important thing we BOTH agreed that if either one of us wanted to stop swinging then we both would no questions asked,our relationship is more important this is an addition to our sex life not a replacement, think of it as a tasty side dish of an amazing meal yes the side dish is great but the meal is just as tasty without.

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By *usty kayCouple
4 weeks ago

Burnham

What about swinging do you love so much? Is it something worth holding onto while you are with a partner?

When my husband and I first started this journey we took things slow and checked in and talked at every development and we did it together.

We were still in a new relationship and I can honestly say if I hadn't been sure and he'd asked to go off and play alone we wouldn't be together now. It took time to explore the lifestyle together, find out what each other is comfortable with and learn how far we were willing to go.

Even now, 11 years in, if one of us isn't feeling it the other doesn't partake at all. Swinging is an add on to our lives not the priority.

What is the priority in your relationship and is it the same as your partners?

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By *asha86Couple
4 weeks ago

walsall

For me and my wife we went into it together and it was something for us we could do and enjoy together. We tried the playing alone and we didn't get on with it as we both love to see each other enjoy it.

Some couples get on well with the scene and others not so well and possibly could end the relationship.

Communication is key to it all! For us being able to talk about it all openly means we have a better understanding of each other. But is she simply isn't in to it she isn't in to it unfortunately.

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Swinging with a Hesitant Partner – Your Tips?