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Advice for outreach

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By *Hudson45 OP   Man
3 weeks ago

Derbyshire

Is there really any better way to try and contact people (as a single guy) that doesn't seem pushy etc?

I have over 200+ messages unread ( I know there is about 1000 guys here having the same experience as me) , is there anything else I could be doing more as a single guy on here to do more outreach etc? (bare in mind though I am not a looker AT ALL)

Maybe a club meet as a single male (no wanking dead shit though I'd be keeping to myself to make connections maybe) hopefully someone has an idea or theory I ain't heard before. Thanks for reading & have a good one! :D

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By *ittle Miss TinkerbellWoman
3 weeks ago

your head

I think your bio could be causing you an issue OP. The fact it starts with a very negative view of yourself and the. the line about a very strange fetish with no context. That would be enough to put me off personally. Might be worth a rethink.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
3 weeks ago

Reading

Are there really 200 women who fit your criteria AND you fit theirs? Seems unlikely to me. Maybe be more targeted in your approach.

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By *illy IdolMan
3 weeks ago

Midlands

Hi, JH. I think your profile and interests would put others off. Leave out the negative stuff if you can and try to sell yourself in a more positive light. Maybe explain your fetish as without delving deeper, it may creep others out.

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By *Hudson45 OP   Man
3 weeks ago

Derbyshire

Appreciate your comment , I like to be forward and upfront (I say all that cos I seem to be no ones type) so would rather have people see the 2 first things anyway. Appreciate the advice nonetheless!

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By *aTina HeadTurnerWoman
3 weeks ago

Not in UK currently

What’s the fetish?

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By *illy IdolMan
3 weeks ago

Midlands


"Appreciate your comment , I like to be forward and upfront (I say all that cos I seem to be no ones type) so would rather have people see the 2 first things anyway. Appreciate the advice nonetheless!"

That's fair enough, but you don't need to decide that for them.

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By *rT25Man
3 weeks ago

South Yorkshire

Wow! That's a hell of a lot of messages to send😲

I'd say it's the rant about not sending a face pic. For most people there has to be some kind of attraction.

The few ladies and couples I have conversations with all know what I look like.

That's my two thoughts

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By *Hudson45 OP   Man
3 weeks ago

Derbyshire

queef / fart stuff , so it's kinda weird but on the grand scale of things it's minor I guess (compared to what I've seen)

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By *Hudson45 OP   Man
3 weeks ago

Derbyshire

Well no but I spend this year on here like i did in 2023 , and just wait for someone to find me, I'm gonna pay a year of site support for fuck all again lol! I know the deal I just like others opinions so thanks for taking the time

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By *Hudson45 OP   Man
3 weeks ago

Derbyshire

Yeah it makes me seem awfully desperate etc but I dunno how else to go about it you know? If I sit here and don't message anyone I get nothing , I've messaged so many people and they haven't read it ( I understand again the ratio on here is insane so it's a patience thing) Appreciate your two sense though bro

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By *viatrixWoman
3 weeks ago

Redhill

You have a really, really good body, OP. Just my type

You’re saying you’re not attractive at all, that you won’t share a face photo and just to use you for your cock. I am pretty sure many, many women on this site will not be into that which is why you have no responses at all. I am pretty sure I wouldn’t. Give yourself more credit. We are all attractive to someone. I’d seriously recommend looking at your profile bio and rethinking it.

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
3 weeks ago

A den in the Glen

How about putting Queef king in your title for all to see. I forgot one didn't know what that was. That'll draw them in at least, they can read about it and pick up your bio. Be less negative as everyone says.

"I am ugly" can simply be rewritten to "not the best looking guy on here" or something like that.

Rehash it with a more positive spin on things. What is the worst that could happen than get zero interest from hundreds of messages sent?

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By *rT25Man
3 weeks ago

South Yorkshire


"You have a really, really good body, OP. Just my type

You’re saying you’re not attractive at all, that you won’t share a face photo and just to use you for your cock. I am pretty sure many, many women on this site will not be into that which is why you have no responses at all. I am pretty sure I wouldn’t. Give yourself more credit. We are all attractive to someone. I’d seriously recommend looking at your profile bio and rethinking it. "

💯

Yeah! Wise words. I don't see myself as hot. Far from it but it does surprise me who actually thinks I am once I send a picture😀

You'll never know until you send that picture.

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By *dz69247Man
3 weeks ago

Manchester

You are a faceless profile, in a sea of a million faceless profiles, you cannot accom (which to some looks like you could have a partner) and your last veri was two years ago.

For fab to be viable, for what you are looking for you really need to target your approach.

My advice has always been to use your hotlist well. Find profiles that match what you are looking for, you match what they are looking for, that regularly meet and are a reasonable distance to yourself, then add them to your hotlist.

Fab is all about being in the right place at the right time. Most people won’t want to plan ahead (unless it’s an event) and will put a update on that they want to meet now/ today/ this evening etc.

This is your opening, if you are free and match what the profile is looking for, fire off a simple message with a face pic (or anything else they require) saying you are free and willing to meet them, they are more likely to look at your message.

You will find a lot more success, than simply sending random profiles messages, when them profiles probably get 10’s of messages daily.

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By *Hudson45 OP   Man
3 weeks ago

Derbyshire

Really appreciate your compliment , seriously , thank you.

In response to your main point , of course I don't show my face publicly (like a lot of us) but every message I attach a clear recent face pic with a message along the lines of 'Hope to hear back from you if I'm slightly your type!' --- I did that for pretty much a year and still just the same result! Also I cannot be confident anymore lol after being called cocky from a job interview and then I put the pieces together.... used to be a right cocky shit to say I look like a bulldog chewing a wasp lol!! sorry for the long response , I appreciate you weighing in though , thank you!

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By *anielpiercedMan
3 weeks ago

by the seaside


"Is there really any better way to try and contact people (as a single guy) that doesn't seem pushy etc?

I have over 200+ messages unread ( I know there is about 1000 guys here having the same experience as me) , is there anything else I could be doing more as a single guy on here to do more outreach etc? (bare in mind though I am not a looker AT ALL)

Maybe a club meet as a single male (no wanking dead shit though I'd be keeping to myself to make connections maybe) hopefully someone has an idea or theory I ain't heard before. Thanks for reading & have a good one! :D "

You seem quite negative in your opening profile lines maybe that puts people off. Why not try your local clubs the Attic and see how you go on face to face with people? If you go with no expectations and are friendly and sociable you'll be sure to have a better response than your current situation.

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By *lue Eyed JokerMan
3 weeks ago

Always on the move

I'm ugly too..but my Mum says I'm handsome.

Add a bit of humour OP. It all sounds a bit serious. Never take Fab serious..it'll beat you up

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By *Hudson45 OP   Man
3 weeks ago

Derbyshire

If I put 'Queef King' In my title and get anything from it I will buy you 10 beers lol. Appreciate your advice though thank you.

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By *Hudson45 OP   Man
3 weeks ago

Derbyshire

My mum and grandma both tell me I'm the best looking guy ever! So clearly someone is lying!!! lol

I take everything seriously sadly, can't say I've had a shred of hope or anything when it comes to dating and women , so makes it tough to be positive. Appreciate your advice though , thank you!!

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By *Hudson45 OP   Man
3 weeks ago

Derbyshire

I'm so 'negative' upfront to save myself the disappointment in the future , which I know sounds shallow and very childish but I really would NOT be in this position if I had a shred of hope for any other outcome lol. Appreciate your two sense though thanks!

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By *Hudson45 OP   Man
3 weeks ago

Derbyshire

I am gonna take peoples advice again and just let 'someone find me' even though I don't believe in that thing at all haha. Thing is , theres always someone better than you out there , so I actually have no idea why i waste so much time on here lol.

Thanks for your thoughts though!

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By *vaRose43Woman
3 weeks ago

Forest of Dean

I’ll be honest, anyone not willing to share face photos would be instant delete and block for me. Mutual attraction is important to many of us here and I’m not going to be alone in saying that.

From a safety perspective I also wouldn’t be meeting someone sight unseen as such. If someone felt the need to not have their face seen, it would be an instant red flag for me.

As for your kinks. If they’re important that you need them fulfilled when meeting someone then share the details. If not then maybe remove it from the profile and discuss in private. Leaving it vague is just frustrating for everyone.

Clubs are certainly a way to go, but also the organised socials too. Going a long to see if you can make a connection. Alternatively kink focussed events might be more up your street if your fetish is more of a need than a desire.

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By *urvyBunnyWoman
3 weeks ago

Suffolk

It does make me feel a bit sad by the way you speak about yourself! Granted that we aren't all going to be every single person's cup of tea, but speak about yourself in a more positive way! It makes the world of difference when you change your mindset and give yourself a compliment, everytime you start to think badly about your appearance.

Sorry, not much help with the profile! I just felt like you were being too harsh on yourself

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By *amie HantsWoman
3 weeks ago

Atlantis

Hey op, I know it’s not the advice you want but there’s no magic words or approaches you can take. You need to show that you’re worth people investing their time in.

If you have such a negative view of yourself what are you expecting others to be interested in? Maybe talk about your strengths. Ok so you’re not the best looking? Fine. Nor am I in the face. It doesn’t stop me from having a lot of other great qualities. It is a lot of work to build/rebuild themselves, but the ones that are prepared to put in that work stand out

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By *Hudson45 OP   Man
3 weeks ago

Derbyshire

It’s a great response and thanks for taking the time to write something.

I’d love to say yeah I can try this etc but I’ve done all that before lol , I’ve changed my profile now to just be as ‘normal’ as possible and will accept that it’s just what it is lol. I get stressed a lot for nothing

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By *Hudson45 OP   Man
3 weeks ago

Derbyshire

Appreciate your kind words! I have pretty much always thought/spoke about myself like this lol it was all due to one of my first job interviews where the interviewer called me cocky and then I decided to wind my neck in and humble myself lol. This ain;t a therapy forum I know so I don't wanna talk too much lol , but I'd be surprised if I find something new to try or what have you.

Appreciate you taking the time though to reply , thank you!

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By *Hudson45 OP   Man
3 weeks ago

Derbyshire

Yeah I can see how it could be considered as a red flag. If i had no veris or anything then I'd really struggle lol , I just rely on EVERYTHING else other than my face to get something setup , but I keep finding that all people care about is face and thats it. Bare in mind im 26 and my face looks like a 12 year old who stuck cat hair to his face in a poor attempt of a beard hahah , then when I do shave I look 10 years old and then NO ONE will message me lol. It's a loose loose but I always like to see if there's maybe a slight shred of hope. -- Appreciate you takin the time to reply!

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By *Hudson45 OP   Man
3 weeks ago

Derbyshire

I would much prefer building those first blocks on a face - to face basis! Just no idea where these clubs are and I think to show up totally alone would be odd no? Most single guys 'alone' at least arrive to the venue with people they know from what I've heard.

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By *Hudson45 OP   Man
3 weeks ago

Derbyshire

Appreciate everyone taking the time to comment , I’ll try all your advice and see if that brings me any different results from the last 5 years or so! Cheers again

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