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emotional connections

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Just out of curiosity and I'm interested in what people think,, if you were seeing someone regular, is it possible that bonds form and connections are made with that person the more times you sleep with them,,, bearing in mind you only started meeting up with that person for sex only and that was it???

please discuss

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By *ath-N-DelCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow area

Are you saying you cant bond with someone you only having sex with?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just out of curiosity and I'm interested in what people think,, if you were seeing someone regular, is it possible that bonds form and connections are made with that person the more times you sleep with them,,, bearing in mind you only started meeting up with that person for sex only and that was it???

please discuss"

Isn't that when your fuck buddy comes a partner

Any person that starts liking either me or Paula and forming a bond is politely that they won't be coming back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes . I have to say it happens to me all the time both my last to FWB I have ended up having quit strong feelings for

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Yeah something like that, is it possible,, does it happen alot??? Curious really, thought it would seem like a big problem where sex is concerned

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would think it's a natural progression if you are seeing the same person over a period of time, you will become fond of each other. Doesn't make it a bad thing though, if it's something you don't want then move on....if your both happy to go with it then fine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it can go one of 3 ways.

1. You start formimg an emotional relationship and maybe start following your instincts to make it a relationship.

2. You have a strong sexual attraction and you like the person, so it stays as fuck buddies.

3. The sex becomes dull. You find another fuck buddy.

I have experienced all 3 scenarios

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Was that you having feelings or them bunny??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

maybe if you were only seeing one person only and not meeting others as well.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I prefer sex without emotional attachment, just physical

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By *ath-N-DelCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow area


"Yeah something like that, is it possible,, does it happen alot??? Curious really, thought it would seem like a big problem where sex is concerned"

You can bond with someone and still only have sex with them.....

Id imagine it would make the sex much better...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The only emotional bond is during the meet,.after that its back to friends, if that makes sense. No lasting emotion.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

The bonds would make the sex great,, getting to know what makes someone tick even better!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sometimes you just meet the same people because you want sex and a bit of company, you dont have feelings for each other at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Simple answer is yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My first meet I was seeing a lot of, so developed a emotional bond towards him, which made him back off and stopped seeing me and contacting me. He got in touch again this year, we met up, he said he would text me, still waiting, I text him but no response, hes been online, he is busy at the moment but it doesnt take much to say hi. Im assuming its done with

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me ,I prefer to have friends with benefits with whom I see more than once . Bonds are made but not emotional dependency ....

Saying that , I am only emotionally dependant during those few hours spent with someone , afterwards they are a free spirit like myself )

Indeed a couple of my male friends do care for me , we chat by text etc and have vanilla times also , but we are not emotionally dependant on each other .

I have only a handful of chaps who I have fun with as quality is better than quantity , and also being able to trust that person during the times I am totally vulnerable

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By *ath-N-DelCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow area

You can still care about someone without the whole emotional attachment....

IF you want to keep seeing them, you must feel something?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is any kind of 'friendship' not an emotional connection ?

Whether that's a FB, FWB - or just someone you enjoy banter with?

Doesn't mean there's going to be any progression to another form of relationship!

And if you find yourself in a situation where one wants more than the other it will usually end one of two ways.

Well - or badly!!!

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By *eryBigGirlWoman
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

I think if you sleep with someone regularly for a long period of time then its fairly inevitable that you like the actual person as well as the sex and that feelings are going to be involved or at least that's my experience anyway with a long term buddy.

I think it's also more prevalent to single swingers than couples as they've already got that emotional attachment to another person and it also really depends what your looking for. I think there's many people on here who are looking for more than just sex whereas some do simply want NSA.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Me having feeling for them both times

1) 3 years ago I met a guy reg (at least 2x a week ) for about 6 mths . I got in some trubble at uni and was sat on the steps out side crying and so I rang him and sobed for about an hour , when I hung up I new I had started to have feelings and could have very easily fallen in love . I rang him back that night and told him how I was feeling and we agreed to stop seeing each other

2) the other guy was last year and I rang him to arrange a meet and he said he was taking some other girl off here out to the pics ( he and I had only ever had sex never done any thing social ) and I felt jealous . I talk to him about it and he said he really liked me to and we could be more than FWB but I am not really in a place were I am ready for any thing more

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I seldom have repeat meets with the same person, if and when I do, there is usually a long gap between meets.

Hence I have yet to form any emotional attachment with anyone.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Sounding like a really complicated question now,,

with a really thin line,,

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By *hole Lotta RosieWoman
over a year ago

Deviant City

I've bonded with somebody that I met from another site, way before I joined fab.

Yes we both have emotional feelings towards each other, I am very fond of him and he's good at cheering me up when I'm low.

It wont go any further, we have discussed it in great detail several times, I'm not one for having a relationship, but its good that we have become friends and the sex is a bonus, the bond makes the sex better.

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By *ll-Knight-longMan
over a year ago

Derby/Notts(Long Eaton)


"I've bonded with somebody that I met from another site, way before I joined fab.

Yes we both have emotional feelings towards each other, I am very fond of him and he's good at cheering me up when I'm low.

It wont go any further, we have discussed it in great detail several times, I'm not one for having a relationship, but its good that we have become friends and the sex is a bonus, the bond makes the sex better."

Similar too I met a woman through another site 6 years ago and we have become great friends and lovers . We have helped each other through difficult times and gone to vanilla events socially. However I could never see this relationship being more than it is now for many reason.

I have met for one off meets in the past and always hope to remain friends even if the meets were not to continue as the sexual contact sometimes has been intense and personal.

A long term open commitment is very unique as there are lots of feelings and emotions present with both individuals more than just a swinging relationship yet not as restricted as more than just two people (unlike a vanilla partnerships) . Issues such as trusting and knowing each others thoughts and feelings play a part more than one off meets. There must be total and complete trust of each other and without jealousy on either side.

The difference is where the attachment becomes overpowering in a destructive way or just one sided

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe there is a difference between emotional bonding and dependence ??

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Emotional attachment doesn't mean falling in love with someone.

I had regular meets who I used to chat with daily and would see very often but I wasn't in love with them. I understood that they would see other people due to the nature of the site etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've bonded with somebody that I met from another site, way before I joined fab.

Yes we both have emotional feelings towards each other, I am very fond of him and he's good at cheering me up when I'm low.

It wont go any further, we have discussed it in great detail several times, I'm not one for having a relationship, but its good that we have become friends and the sex is a bonus, the bond makes the sex better.

Similar too I met a woman through another site 6 years ago and we have become great friends and lovers . We have helped each other through difficult times and gone to vanilla events socially. However I could never see this relationship being more than it is now for many reason.

I have met for one off meets in the past and always hope to remain friends even if the meets were not to continue as the sexual contact sometimes has been intense and personal.

A long term open commitment is very unique as there are lots of feelings and emotions present with both individuals more than just a swinging relationship yet not as restricted as more than just two people (unlike a vanilla partnerships) . Issues such as trusting and knowing each others thoughts and feelings play a part more than one off meets. There must be total and complete trust of each other and without jealousy on either side.

The difference is where the attachment becomes overpowering in a destructive way or just one sided"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i would agree with you!

all 3 have happened to me to learn to be in control

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

when im with one of my veris i totally love him, the sex is great and i have to stop myself from going overboard with the lovey stuff. but once ive left its ok, its back to friends only, odd text etc. not sure if this makes me a bad person lol. but i do believe if i was with him more then i might just say stuff that scares him lol...or maybe not, best not to ever find out?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you can but I think people look into it to much...also many mistake lust for love... Thing is you can have feelings for friends your not sleeping with.. they just can get mixed up when sex is added..

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

A couple I had a threesome with many moons ago have become my best friends. I live with them, in a lodger with benefits kind of way, not in a poly way. Many people don't understand our relationship. It's quite simple, we started out with sex, talked in between, became good friends, and along with a little sex occasionally, it is the friendship that is the strong bond between us all. I have never felt jealous of their relationship, I know their marriage comes first, and wouldn't expect any different.

With single men, I tend to only see them once, think I'm scared of falling for them, I value my independence too much to fall in love!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tend to meet only once now as well .

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

I have an fb I have been seeing for nearly 2 years. I consider him to be a genuine friend. We have great sex and a lot of fun with each other. But, we both know that that is all it is or ever will be. Neither of us wants a relationship. It is important, I think, to try not to be exclusive. We both like the freedom to play with whomever we like and often chat about people we have met or are about to meet. There is no jealousy or crap involved which is very refreshing.

I think when people start being exclusive then that is when feelings can start taking over.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I have been meeting my regular friend for over 2 years now and no, there is no jealously, 1 he is married and loves his wife and yes she knows about me, and 2 in the bdsm scene trust is a must so repeat meets are essential it's when people start to think it is more than nsa it can and will become a problem!

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