A few years ago i had a couple move in next door, both in there late 40s, i quicky discovered the guy was a alcoholic and liked a bet, but unfortunately he would beat his partner and it didnt sit well with me.
One day whilst out the front i got talking to the women and could see the bruises that she was trying to hide, anyway as we talked we discovered we had mutual friends, she was easy to talk too, genuine and friendly but not flirty.
Her relationship broke down and it was a horrible time for her, left with the house, his debt and he took her inheritance from her mother , then stole her vehicle.
So i offered a ear if she ever needed a person to talk to. We ended up being good friends and i must admit i did find her attractive in all ways, personality, and physically.
We both had dogs so would go walking alot and the open fresh air did us both a world of good, just took our minds off what was going on. I invited her and our mutual friends to a pub doing live music and we both really enjoyed the night but both felt guilty for not interacting with the others we were more interested in each other, but thats as far as it went, seemed weird laid in bed that night only next door to a person i really clicked with and vice versa. But thats how it went just good friends...
Until one day she asked if i could look after her dog for the day, i agreed as i thought the world of her dog,
Later on in the evening i was coming back home from walking the 2 dogs and i noticed her car was on the drive, blinds open but no lights on and it was dark outside. So i knocked on the door but no answer , so i popped my head in and shouted but no answer. So i took the dogs to mine and went back and opened the door again shouting for her but still no answer. Walked in and found her currled up on the sofa after taking her own life by over dose. She had planned this getting me to have the dog incase shes not discovered for awhile and never even given me a hint of what she was thinking.
Really took the rug out from underneath me and its still difficult to think about.
I later discovered from a mutual friend that she had confided in her that she was having these thoughts but couldnt tell me as she didnt want to worry me. I urge anyone that might be going through anything like this to talk to someone and dont bottle it up..
I think about her everyday and what could of and should of been. |
