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Why were you expelled from Hogwarts?

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By *tanley Funseeker OP   Man
7 weeks ago

stanley

In my case I got caught hiding my Philosophers stones in Luna Lovegood’s chamber of secrets. Sorry not sorry

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By *oopy FroodMan
7 weeks ago

Orbiting Planet Rupert

For stealing Snape's cape

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By *obilebottomMan
7 weeks ago

All over

For locking the cook in the cellar as could not really cook.

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By *eaAndBiscuit1989Man
7 weeks ago

Burnley

Ejaculating on Hermione's Golden Snitch

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By *ir tootMan
7 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent

I drove my Ferrari through the forbidden forest. 😬

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By *ad NannaWoman
7 weeks ago

East London

I Avada-ed a Cadavar.

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By *oopy FroodMan
7 weeks ago

Orbiting Planet Rupert

Fed a troll to fluffy giving him gas and causing the resulting fart to ignite on an open flame destroying the castle

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By *oeBeansMan
7 weeks ago

Derby

One of the teachers was caught riding my Nimbus 2000 until I expelliarmus'd all over her

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By *eeCee76Man
7 weeks ago

Edinburgh

I respected people’s pronouns and gender identity.

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By *aitonelMan
7 weeks ago

Liverpool

I wasn't

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
7 weeks ago

Glasgow / London

My ‘magic wand’ was a bit *too* magic.

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By *sWyldWoman
7 weeks ago

Edinburgh

I'm still there

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By *tickytip44Man
7 weeks ago

nwales

Too much love potion

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By *ickie76XXXMan
7 weeks ago

dartford

I got caught doing Hermione up the griffindore

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By *an8iMan
7 weeks ago

Bilston

My magic wand got caught on Hermione's wizard's sleeve

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By *ickshawedCouple
7 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

For stroking Voldemort's snake

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By *oeBeansMan
7 weeks ago

Derby

I told one of the teachers that I would expecto her patromum after class

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
7 weeks ago

Glasgow / London


"I'm still there "

You actually are. 🧙

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By *alhamCoupleCouple
7 weeks ago

London

For attempting to make Slytherin THE house to rule them all

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By *stellaWoman
7 weeks ago

London


"I respected people’s pronouns and gender identity. "

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By *sWyldWoman
7 weeks ago

Edinburgh


"I'm still there

You actually are. 🧙"

Indeed I am.

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By *onnie 90Woman
7 weeks ago

Leeds

Expelled? They wouldn't let me in!

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By *ad NannaWoman
7 weeks ago

East London

I sprinkled catnip on Professor Dumbledore's knob.

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By *ai Hard 2 - Dai HarderMan
7 weeks ago

Manchester / Cardiff

I dunked my bollocks in Fleur Delacour's ButterBeer, in the Leaky Cauldron, Diagon Alley.

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By *rthur30Man
7 weeks ago

Warrington

My spell was too successful and now I can't get my penis in my pants.

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By *BWLOVER1965Man
7 weeks ago

Ipswich

For spaffing over the hat

He said he didn’t mind

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By *unguy30Man
7 weeks ago

London

I got caught sniffing and wanking over Hermione‘s knickers

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By *otSoPetiteMortWoman
7 weeks ago

Hertfordshire

Using Devil's Snare for bondage. x

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By *atgirl and RobinCouple
7 weeks ago

Durham

I asked Snape if he wanted to Slytherin to my chamber of secrets

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By *ohn.Wick.Man
7 weeks ago

The Continental

I was caught injecting a love potion into Pansy Parkinson’s mouth using a technique definitely not taught in the Care of Magical Creatures way.

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By *ichaelsmyMan
7 weeks ago

Billingham

i was expelled because i have never read the books

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
7 weeks ago

Essex

I turned the room of requirement into a brothel.

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By *urves and HeelsWoman
7 weeks ago

Dumbarton

Because my skirt was far too short

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By *ecky and justCouple
7 weeks ago

Godalming

“Breasticulus Exposius” apparently isn’t a school spell, even for older boys… 🙄

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By *enk15Man
7 weeks ago

Evesham

Giving everyone polyjuice potion.

The name was confusing, I misunderstood what it did.

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By *tickytip44Man
7 weeks ago

nwales


"“Breasticulus Exposius” apparently isn’t a school spell, even for older boys… 🙄"

😂😂

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By *ripfillMan
7 weeks ago

Paris, New York, Hong Kong and Havant

Getting caught in the girls dorm a third time not lucky…

Three tugs and your out

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By *eggieMarshmallowWoman
7 weeks ago

Cardiff


"I respected people’s pronouns and gender identity. "

I came here to say this!

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By *oveGirlsFeetMan
7 weeks ago

Bolton

Caught receiving a 3girl footjob off Hermione, Ginny and Luna.

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By *tickytip44Man
7 weeks ago

nwales

Making bath noodles with moaning myrtle in the bath

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By *ndisMan
7 weeks ago

Liverpool

I sorted the sorting hat!

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By *apio51Man
7 weeks ago

Edinburgh

[Removed by poster at 08/01/25 22:56:20]

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By *apio51Man
7 weeks ago

Edinburgh

Edited due to me only just come back to the forums after a time out and not wanting another time out on the naught step for a banned word

Me and Hagrid got caught snorting Colombian BamBam from Minerva McGonagalls tits.

Hagrid got detention and I was made an example of.

No idea what happened to Minerva…the saucy minx.

Ah, good times.

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By *itnessAMan
7 weeks ago

North Wales

Dressing up as Moaning Myrtle in a gymslip

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By *BWLOVER1965Man
7 weeks ago

Ipswich

For insisting of Vag Friday

For all Female members of staff

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By *rdere OpusCouple
7 weeks ago

Brum - ish

Some of these are hilarious 😂😂

S

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By (user no longer on site)
7 weeks ago

I used Dobbys sock as a cum sock

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By *oonbath89Man
7 weeks ago

radstock

I said to Hermione “i know you’re a Gryffindor, but do you mind if I ……slytherin ??”

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By (user no longer on site)
7 weeks ago

I sent an unsolicited picture of my 'magic wand' to all the girls

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By *ady SuzieXXXWoman
7 weeks ago

Chichester

Using my biggest wand in the common room.

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By *ollyPocket75Woman
7 weeks ago

Aberdeen

For wiping my juices on Hagrids beard

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By *ister_EMan
7 weeks ago

Hayling Island

Inneproropiate use of the engorgio spell

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By *unthum62Man
7 weeks ago

Benidorm

Muggle fuggling.

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By *he_turtle_movesMan
7 weeks ago

york

5 trips to the hospital wing trying to figure out how to make engorgio work properly

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By *NormalMan01Man
7 weeks ago

Harrogate

Got caught wanking in the broom cupboard.

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
7 weeks ago

Essex

Apparently a giant dildo isn’t an appropriate patronus.

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By *NormalMan01Man
7 weeks ago

Harrogate


"Apparently a giant dildo isn’t an appropriate patronus."

Doesn’t it help with Leviosa?

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By *ensualtongue2023Man
7 weeks ago

furnace

Nudism

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By *uke olovingmanMan
7 weeks ago

Gravesend

I made moaning Myrtle moan

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
7 weeks ago

A den in the Glen

Drank far too much potion and slipped into quidditch

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