FabSwingers.com forum: Do break ups catch you off guard

By *ickleTheWonderSchlong OP Man
2 days ago

Ends

Or are you usually expecting it?

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By *rHotNottsMan
2 days ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Usually planning it to be honest. I actually learnt if you rehearse it & imagine the worst possible reactions, it makes it so much easier.

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By *midnight-Woman
2 days ago

...

I'm usually the instigator

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By (user no longer on site)
2 days ago

I don't get attached to break up.

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By *eliWoman
2 days ago

Not really, no. There are usually little signs, things that tell me it's not working and I act on those. The only time I have been surprised is by the response. It kind of confirmed a few things so wasn't that much of a surprise.

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By *ensualtongue2023Man
2 days ago

furnace

As a single gent I couldn’t tell you

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
2 days ago

Carlisle usually

I think there's only once when it caught me off guard. And that was mostly because I'd stopped existing for the last few years of that relationship. Generally, I'm aware enough of what's going on to see it coming and have a mutual parting 💜

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By *ernow1982Man
2 days ago

Plymouth

Off-guard? No, I'm generally the person who decides to walk away, so it's often premeditated and thought out.

Aside from once, many years ago, but I was a little oblivious at the time.

These days, I don't have much energy so it's either easy or not at all. Both casual and serious. 😆

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
2 days ago

North West

I've not broken up with anyone since 2003.

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By *inkyycurvyyWoman
2 days ago

Manchester

It's usually me that ends it 😬

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By *exyScientistsCouple
2 days ago

Castlebar

Nope

There are generally loads of red flags if you aren't trying to ignore them 🤣

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By *viatrixWoman
2 days ago

Redhill

I used to be so toxic in my youth 🤭 🤭 so I was shocked but shouldn’t have been to be fair lol 😂😂😂😂

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By *aron Von RingsplitterMan
2 days ago

Mottram St Andrew

I've always been expecting it and in most cases, it's been my decision. But there will be aspects of processing the break up that have been unexpected.

What has caught me off-guard this last time though is that whilst my head can rationalise that I had no choice and it was definitely the right thing to do, it's the first time I have been heart broken.

I'm also missing the cuddles and intimacy more than sex but I'm not sure if that's a symptom of the heartbreak or the realisation that that's my love language.

Whatever, it's a journey of self-discovery.

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By *aron Von RingsplitterMan
2 days ago

Mottram St Andrew

"As a single gent I couldn’t tell you "

Have you never gone through a break up?

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By *itvclaireTV/TS
2 days ago

Birmingham

Only once have I been caught off guard. It was literally out of the blue and I wasn't expecting it at all. Other times I knew it was on the cards or I was the instigator.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
2 days ago

North West

"As a single gent I couldn’t tell you

Have you never gone through a break up?"

I've only ever been through a break up pre age 17. Nothing since. Dunno if that qualifies.

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By *amie HantsWoman
2 days ago

Atlantis

I have been. I was seeing a guy, and we were a few months in, not too serious at this point but future plans were being made.

One evening he turned up at mine to surprise me. We had a lovely evening. Then in the morning he left mine and I got a text saying I was wonderful just not the right type of wonderful. I was completely blindsided.

Turns out he got back with his ex wife who he was trying to make things work at the same time as seeing me.

I’m not judging that. Things happen and sometimes good people do shitty things. It doesn’t mean he’s a shitty person. I’m judging that he could have been honest rather than leave me wondering wtf is the wrong type of wonderful.

Anyway, that’s the only time I’ve been dumped.

The worst thing is he bought me a stupid little aloe vera that won’t die so I’m stuck with this plant that always looks half dead. It just mocks me that I’m not the right type of wonderful.

It’s been over 2 years

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
2 days ago

North West

"I have been. I was seeing a guy, and we were a few months in, not too serious at this point but future plans were being made.

Turns out he got back with his ex wife who he was trying to make things work at the same time as seeing me.

Anyway, that’s the only time I’ve been dumped.

The worst thing is he bought me a stupid little aloe vera that won’t die so I’m stuck with this plant that always looks half dead. It just mocks me that I’m not the right type of wonderful.

It’s been over 2 years

Not Batman?! 😱

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By *amie HantsWoman
2 days ago

Atlantis

"I have been. I was seeing a guy, and we were a few months in, not too serious at this point but future plans were being made.

Turns out he got back with his ex wife who he was trying to make things work at the same time as seeing me.

Anyway, that’s the only time I’ve been dumped.

The worst thing is he bought me a stupid little aloe vera that won’t die so I’m stuck with this plant that always looks half dead. It just mocks me that I’m not the right type of wonderful.

It’s been over 2 years

Not Batman?! 😱"

I’d be happy to be dumped by Batman. This chump in the story was a recruitment consultant which is way less cool and I can still smell the Dior sauvage they all swim in after all this time!

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By *ony MannMan
2 days ago

Las Gaviotos, Fuerteventura

My two break ups were more fade outs, but I still chat with them both. I got back with one, but it faded out again.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
2 days ago

North West

"I have been. I was seeing a guy, and we were a few months in, not too serious at this point but future plans were being made.

Turns out he got back with his ex wife who he was trying to make things work at the same time as seeing me.

Anyway, that’s the only time I’ve been dumped.

The worst thing is he bought me a stupid little aloe vera that won’t die so I’m stuck with this plant that always looks half dead. It just mocks me that I’m not the right type of wonderful.

It’s been over 2 years

Not Batman?! 😱

I’d be happy to be dumped by Batman. This chump in the story was a recruitment consultant which is way less cool and I can still smell the Dior sauvage they all swim in after all this time! "

Oh thank goodness. I thought I'd got the wrong measure of Batman. Obviously not thank goodness Mr Chump pissed off and did that. You know what I mean

Sell the aloe vera juice for profit and make money from it

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By *TinyDelight-Woman
2 days ago

City Centre

When it doesn't feel right it never catches me off guard. I always feel a sense of relief to be honest especially if I don't have to do it myself.

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By *ildo_swagginsthe3rdWoman
2 days ago

Wales

Honestly, the pain of breaking ups is putting me off getting involved with anyone (sad face).

Although realistically I know it's just emotions and I'll get over it, it leaves me wondering if the high is worth the pain.

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By *ildo_swagginsthe3rdWoman
2 days ago

Wales

"I have been. I was seeing a guy, and we were a few months in, not too serious at this point but future plans were being made.

Turns out he got back with his ex wife who he was trying to make things work at the same time as seeing me.

Anyway, that’s the only time I’ve been dumped.

The worst thing is he bought me a stupid little aloe vera that won’t die so I’m stuck with this plant that always looks half dead. It just mocks me that I’m not the right type of wonderful.

It’s been over 2 years

Not Batman?! 😱"

Is Batman leaving aloe Vera plants as his calling card these days? 🤣

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By *aron Von RingsplitterMan
2 days ago

Mottram St Andrew

"Honestly, the pain of breaking ups is putting me off getting involved with anyone (sad face).

Although realistically I know it's just emotions and I'll get over it, it leaves me wondering if the high is worth the pain. "

The pain I can cope with, but being unable to answer the questions as to why I would bother with the hassle of an LTR again is what's putting me off even bothering to look.

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By *ildo_swagginsthe3rdWoman
2 days ago

Wales

How about a short term, mutual cuddle, no strings sitch?

I'm not even sure I want that.

Maybe this needs it's own thread.

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By *ir tootMan
2 days ago

Burton-on-Trent

"How about a short term, mutual cuddle, no strings sitch?

I'm not even sure I want that.

Maybe this needs it's own thread. "

Funny enough I need to add cuddle buddies needed to my bio, it's so bloody cold.

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By *ickleTheWonderSchlong OP Man
2 days ago

Ends

"How about a short term, mutual cuddle, no strings sitch?

I'm not even sure I want that.

Maybe this needs it's own thread. "

I’ve asked for cuddle buddies in threads and in bios. Never works

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By *nya NeesWoman
2 days ago

Brum

"How about a short term, mutual cuddle, no strings sitch?

I'm not even sure I want that.

Maybe this needs it's own thread.

I’ve asked for cuddle buddies in threads and in bios. Never works"

I will be yours

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
2 days ago

Wherever

I only ever had three serious relationships that could potentially end up in break up.

Two of them ended up with them passing away from long term cancer and one I was the initiator of the break up so I’ll say no.

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By *eltCuteMightDeleteWoman
2 days ago

Reading

My last one did, yeah.

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By *ad NannaWoman
2 days ago

East London

I've had one serious relationship and it took me years to get out of it.

I had a few casual boyfriend as a teenager. They lasted a couple of weeks to a couple of months and I barely saw them. It was me ending it except for one, who just stopped calling me. I wasn't bothered.

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By *ohn.Wick.Man
2 days ago

The Continental

Nobody’s ever broken up with me. I don’t let it get that far.

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By *nomeforyourboneWoman
2 days ago

Birmingham

I think a lot of people are mentally checked out before physically going. The final straw however absolutely can catch you off guard.

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By *usty kayCouple
2 days ago

Burnham

Guy I've been seeing broke up with me in November. Completely blindsided me and hurt like hell. We then decided to keep seeing each other but haven't defined what it looks like. I won't be blindsided next time, it will more likely be my decision. Wish I didn't have feelings for him because the end is inevitable

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By *ags73Man
2 days ago

glasgow-ish

Yeah unfortunately

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By *riar BelisseWoman
2 days ago

Delightful Bliss

All of mine have been mutual

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By *ansoffateMan
2 days ago

Sagittarius A

I can't say that they do catch me off guard, as I think back.

What has surprised me is the change in some partners. Open communication is only as strong as it's weakest link and I find in every relationship there's some subject/topic that puts that to the test. If that communication plateaus and the subject becomes a no-go zone, then it just looms for me and will slowly poison the well over time, if left unresolved.

Honestly speaking, it's a bit of a curse, I pick up on those discordant moments quite intuitively, very early. I have wished many times that I could bury my head in the sand, but nope, I am crap at pretending.

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By *ourtney CocksWoman
2 days ago

Cardiff

I’m normally the dumper so wouldn’t know

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