FabSwingers.com forum: When you

By *eli OP Woman
2 days ago

fancy/find someone attractive... how obvious are you?

Are you one for public flirting? Posting after them in forum threads a lot? Directly telling them how you feel about them?

Do you like people who are obvious when it comes to you or do you prefer a more subtle approach?

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By (user no longer on site)
2 days ago

I'd rather they flirt in private than on the forums, flirting on the forums to me is generally just a bit of fun and not serious.

I think i've learnt from past mistakes and I don't really reply to their comments on the forums.

If I like someone then I'll tell them and make plans to meet them, I don't message or talk loads as again, past mistakes.

I'm not a big fan of constant contact, the odd chat now and again and as long as they are a 100% present and into me when we meet I'll be good.

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By *ickleTheWonderSchlongMan
2 days ago

Ends

I’m obvious in that I tell them straight up (on fab).

I don’t mind public flirting (on here) because it doesn’t mean much. Everyone flirts with everyone.

More generally, I am a big flirt if I like someone but fear of rejection stops me being so honest with people I’m friends with or that I met at work or through others etc.

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By *mmaleiaWoman
2 days ago

Trowbridge

I’ll just message them outright, flirt a bit in the forums sometimes

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By *carlet SeductionWoman
2 days ago

Maidstone

I'm pretty guarded. I'm a private person and as such I don't get involved with public flirting. I know everyone does it but I save flirting for those I'm really interested in. And even then, I don't really do it until I know there's a definite 2 way interest. I'm hard work.

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By *eli OP Woman
2 days ago

"I’m obvious in that I tell them straight up (on fab).

I don’t mind public flirting (on here) because it doesn’t mean much. Everyone flirts with everyone.

More generally, I am a big flirt if I like someone but fear of rejection stops me being so honest with people I’m friends with or that I met at work or through others etc. "

I wouldn't say everyone flirts with everyone on here. Far, far from it.

Do you think people find it easy to know when you're being serious because you do flirt abundantly? That fear of rejection is wank.

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By *ickleTheWonderSchlongMan
2 days ago

Ends

"I’m obvious in that I tell them straight up (on fab).

I don’t mind public flirting (on here) because it doesn’t mean much. Everyone flirts with everyone.

More generally, I am a big flirt if I like someone but fear of rejection stops me being so honest with people I’m friends with or that I met at work or through others etc.

I wouldn't say everyone flirts with everyone on here. Far, far from it.

Do you think people find it easy to know when you're being serious because you do flirt abundantly? That fear of rejection is wank.

"
they know I’m being serious because I tell them

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By *ickleTheWonderSchlongMan
2 days ago

Ends

"I'm pretty guarded. I'm a private person and as such I don't get involved with public flirting. I know everyone does it but I save flirting for those I'm really interested in. And even then, I don't really do it until I know there's a definite 2 way interest. I'm hard work. "

Hard work? Sounds like my type.

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By *oubleswing2019Man
2 days ago

Colchester

Some very good questions Meli and I'll try my best to explain my own raison d'être.

1. How obvious ? Not at all. Deliberately not so in fact. I actively strive not to signal intent. I am acutely aware that as a man (and therefore part of the patriarchy, and therefore labelled as a predator), it behoves me not to act in expected gender norms. Because that is a choice and I don't have to be a sl@ve to my ego or my libido. I control them, not the other way round.

2. Public Flirting. No. Just no. A younger me did, but the older me looks back and cringes and feels embarrassed. No. Yuk. I do occasionally post to a person/couple but only if I perceive an "alignment", and I post from a service-based perspective. Never from a "Phwooar, you're hot" perspective. I don't tell people how I feel about them, since my feelings are kept in check and are neutral.

3. Obvious/Subtlety. I mirror the giver, so if they are obvious, then I will be as well. If they are subtle, then I reciprocate the same.

Thank you for posting some very deep questions, and a bit of Sunday morning deep inner reflection is just the ticket to get the brain fired up for the day. (well, it works for me !)

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By *ansoffateMan
2 days ago

Sagittarius A

I up am quite happy to tell people I like them directly. If I haven't met someone or spent time getting to know them, I'm not likely to feel any attraction. So flirting on forums is just a bit of friendly fun to me.

I am oddly more interested in what people have to say, even if there's an image of their bum, boobs or testicles on display next to it.

It is better being direct with me. I don't mind it being said on the forums, but at the same time why do it there?

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By *oxy-RedWoman
2 days ago

pink panther territory

As I've got older I tend to flirt a lot and I definitely let them know

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By *eli OP Woman
2 days ago

"I’ll just message them outright, flirt a bit in the forums sometimes "

So, you're happy to message first? None of the qualms some women have about doing so?

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By *enk15Man
2 days ago

Evesham

I don’t pick up on flirting, I need to be told outright if someone likes me.

I don’t seriously flirt in public, usually just tongue in cheek. if there was someone I really like I’ll just assume they aren’t interested and get on with my life. I don’t really know how to flirt anyway.

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By *eli OP Woman
2 days ago

I don't think that's hard work Scarlet. At all. I never show interest unless I'm certain it's reciprocated. Tad cautious I guess? It stops any possibility of things being awkward (in my mind).

Do you never get involved with public flirting or is it a more recent feeling of 'that's not for me'?

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By *aybeLadyWoman
2 days ago

West Dublin

Kind of the same as me. But I take it one step further...not really overly flirty until we meet in person.

I've learnt from yrs online dating etc, that being overly flirty & sexi talk builds a level of expectation. Then if we meet in person, its an instant no from me.

So if a social meet goes well, I will then flirt up a storm

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By *adInLiverpoolMan
2 days ago

LIVERPOOL

"fancy/find someone attractive... how obvious are you?

Are you one for public flirting? Posting after them in forum threads a lot? Directly telling them how you feel about them?

Do you like people who are obvious when it comes to you or do you prefer a more subtle approach?"

I prefer women who are very forward online, I rarely message anyone because women get so many messages, IRL I’m pretty forward, I’m not going to waste anyones time wondering if I was right or wrong about any signals.

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By *sWyldWoman
2 days ago

Edinburgh

It's rare I would say anything. Just quietly hope that might notice me for a while.

After some time I might pluck up the courage and use one of those 'fancy people' threads and tell them.

I am actually pretty shy

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By *carlet SeductionWoman
2 days ago

Maidstone

I don't think that's hard work Scarlet. At all. I never show interest unless I'm certain it's reciprocated. Tad cautious I guess? It stops any possibility of things being awkward (in my mind).

Do you never get involved with public flirting or is it a more recent feeling of 'that's not for me'?"

I think for me i do approach things cautiously. I've been burnt too many times. I think i do tend to go too far the other way in that people begin to think I'm not interested. I do struggle to find that balance of letting someone know I'm interested without coming on too strong so I err on side of caution.

With public flirting, I don't see the point. It would no doubt largely go unnoticed and it's no fun flirting with yourself!😆.It just isn't me so I'll leave the flirting to those that do it well.

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By *icolasHidalgoDeCorazonMan
2 days ago

St Leonards

If I REALLY fancy someone I'll message them directly (for 2026 potential....

. I don't expect anyone to have that degree of patience, but if they've "wowed" me that much then I want to tell them the effect they have had, and that I'm serious about them).

If I'm Lounge flirting, it's either someone who's fun for just the feelgood of online flirting, OR someone I know the attraction is mutual for next year etc, because of my prior messaging.

I'm very happy to be approached by people directly if they fancy me, but if I haven't already contacted them then it's unlikely I fancy them so much I'd want to take it further.

So there's a 95% chance I'd be politely rejecting them.

I'm comfortable being rejected when I approach women, soft or brutal versions, but they'll have to work out how comfortable they are being politely steered away by me if they message me and I'm (most likely) not in the same place they are.

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
2 days ago

Gloucestershire

So many people flirt in the forums and I often find it hard to tell if they are serious or, just being friendly. I’ll make flirty comments but often too shy to say - hey I actually do fancy you

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
2 days ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"I up am quite happy to tell people I like them directly. If I haven't met someone or spent time getting to know them, I'm not likely to feel any attraction. So flirting on forums is just a bit of friendly fun to me.

I am oddly more interested in what people have to say, even if there's an image of their bum, boobs or testicles on display next to it.

It is better being direct with me. I don't mind it being said on the forums, but at the same time why do it there?"

This one! If I like you, I’ll slide into your dms and tell you. The public flirting is just for fun, sometimes with people I’m already chatting with or making plans with, sometimes with friends, sometimes with others. It’s really mood dependent.

Mrs TMN x

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
2 days ago

chichester

Just be direct

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By *eli OP Woman
2 days ago

"Some very good questions Meli and I'll try my best to explain my own raison d'être.

3. Obvious/Subtlety. I mirror the giver, so if they are obvious, then I will be as well. If they are subtle, then I reciprocate the same.

Thank you for posting some very deep questions, and a bit of Sunday morning deep inner reflection is just the ticket to get the brain fired up for the day. (well, it works for me !)"

I really enjoyed reading your response - it not so secretly tickles me when someone eloquently replies and in such a detailed manner.

If you are interested in someone and you're wanting to do away with patriarchal societal leanings, how would you let them know?

I like your second point about posting when you sense an 'alignment'. I'm rather similar; it's very rarely from a place of lust and more oft because I think they might understand. Perceive things in a similar way.

And mirroring is great. It ensures that there's no awkwardness, no wasted energy, it's very much reciprocated. I mirror people not always deliberately but it does help when communicating.

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By *oopy FroodMan
2 days ago

Orbiting Planet Rupert

I'm not.

Most of the time I will friend them then get pissed off with the lack of connection delete them

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By *lue Eyed JokerMan
2 days ago

Always on the move

I just tell people. Sometimes it works, sometimes I get left on read, sometimes I get blocked.

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By *eltCuteMightDeleteWoman
2 days ago

Reading

Sadly I don't find that many people attractive and you'd think that when I do I'd be more obvious ... but I don't think I am.

I think I rely on things that I think are obvious but really aren't. I've had a conversation with someone I fancy like crazy and had to tell them ... but I spend so much time talking and messaging to you, surely that indicates my interest??? But no.

So since then I've been more direct with him. Telling him what about him I find attractive, the things he says or does that I find unbearably sexy. He likes it and I feel better for doing it even though it pushes me out of my comfort zone.

I love it when people are more direct with me. No questions, no confusion.

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By *eli OP Woman
2 days ago

I am oddly more interested in what people have to say, even if there's an image of their bum, boobs or testicles on display next to it.

It is better being direct with me. I don't mind it being said on the forums, but at the same time why do it there?"

Do you ever think you might be demi? I can't really feel attraction without friendship and it grows/wanes based on friendship. I wouldn't say I'm particularly flirty on the forums but I think, I, like others on here, have a blindspot when it comes to our own behaviour.

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
2 days ago

Essex

I’ve changed

I used to flirt like hell on here.

These days I rarely join in, much less flirt.

I’ve also stopped fancying people until I’ve met them.

I’m turning into a grumpy old lady.

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By *eli OP Woman
2 days ago

"As I've got older I tend to flirt a lot and I definitely let them know"

More confidence or less giving a hoot about possible outcomes?

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By *eli OP Woman
2 days ago

"I don’t pick up on flirting, I need to be told outright if someone likes me.

Maybe it's not something you overthink and just do. Sometimes you can be quite flirty - there can be a difference in how we perceive ourselves and how others do.

Assuming someone you're really in to wouldn't be in to you seems a bit, well, meh.

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By *ickleTheWonderSchlongMan
2 days ago

Ends

"I’ve changed

I used to flirt like hell on here.

These days I rarely join in, much less flirt.

I’ve also stopped fancying people until I’ve met them.

I’m turning into a grumpy old lady."

Great tits.

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By *eli OP Woman
2 days ago

Kind of the same as me. But I take it one step further...not really overly flirty until we meet in person.

I've learnt from yrs online dating etc, that being overly flirty & sexi talk builds a level of expectation. Then if we meet in person, its an instant no from me.

So if a social meet goes well, I will then flirt up a storm

That makes sense - it lessens any potential disappointment and allows things to build nicely if there's that chemistry.

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By *ulieScrumptiousWoman
2 days ago

North West

"fancy/find someone attractive... how obvious are you?"

It varies. I'm unlikely to fancy them unless I've seen their face. Facial attraction is totally the most important thing for me. As well as them not being a dick. So it doesn't happen often and when it does I'll usually let them know.

"Are you one for public flirting? Posting after them in forum threads a lot? Directly telling them how you feel about them?"

With partners, I will. I have a big fear of giving people the wrong idea so I'm unlikely to flirt much on the forums. It's usually signposted as fairly over the top and usually only done with friends. I will also do it if there's word play that's just too satisfying to pass up. 😅

"Do you like people who are obvious when it comes to you or do you prefer a more subtle approach?"

I prefer people to be obvious, I will either miss or dismiss subtlety. But also, as I don't fancy that many people it means the deflector shields are nearly always engaged.

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By *usty kayCouple
2 days ago

Burnham

I've forgotten how to flirt. I just end up feeling really uncomfortable both online and off it.

I avoid it at all costs.

When I find someone attractive I never do anything about it because the liklihood is I will never get chance to meet them so why waste their time.

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By *eli OP Woman
2 days ago

"fancy/find someone attractive... how obvious are you?

Are you one for public flirting? Posting after them in forum threads a lot? Directly telling them how you feel about them?

Do you like people who are obvious when it comes to you or do you prefer a more subtle approach?

If more men did that there'd be far less disgruntled posts about unread replies. It would also mean that women wouldn't moan about messages. Maybe you're on to something here.

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By *eyeYCouple
2 days ago

Nr Leicester

Pretty comfortable with it, just let another lady know we'd be interested in a thread and are pretty upfront on DM's often sending face pictures first, as there's little point continuing if they don't find us attractive 👍😘

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By *ormalcouple1974Couple
2 days ago

plymouth

[Removed by poster at 05/01/25 09:47:07]

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By *eli OP Woman
2 days ago

"It's rare I would say anything. Just quietly hope that might notice me for a while.

After some time I might pluck up the courage and use one of those 'fancy people' threads and tell them.

I am actually pretty shy "

Oh Wyld. I hope you're able to find that courage a bit more (if you want to act on it, obviously).

What happens if you're both quietly waiting and hoping the other notices? Nothing really. That's quite a shame.

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By *ormalcouple1974Couple
2 days ago

plymouth

I prefer it in public then on here. I work in public but it doesn’t happen enough. It makes me more attracted to guys if they do. But I don’t get many at all.

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By *eli OP Woman
2 days ago

I don't think that's hard work Scarlet. At all. I never show interest unless I'm certain it's reciprocated. Tad cautious I guess? It stops any possibility of things being awkward (in my mind).

Do you never get involved with public flirting or is it a more recent feeling of 'that's not for me'?

With public flirting, I don't see the point. It would no doubt largely go unnoticed and it's no fun flirting with yourself!😆.It just isn't me so I'll leave the flirting to those that do it well. "

Yeah, it's understandable as to why being burnt can make you a tad reluctant to engage too much, to really put yourself out there. It's a balancing act isn't it? Not becoming too shut off from the world but also not allowing yourself to be hurt constantly.

Do it well is questionable.

With confidence? Yes.

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By *arrenhertsmanMan
2 days ago

Hatfield

I’m an open book …

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By *eli OP Woman
2 days ago

"Sadly I don't find that many people attractive and you'd think that when I do I'd be more obvious ... but I don't think I am.

I love it when people are more direct with me. No questions, no confusion. "

Why would I think that because you don't find many people attractive you'll be more direct with them? That's not quite how life works.

It's good you're being pushed out of your comfort zone and working on being more direct. I think, and this might be misguided, that if you have a preference as to how you're treated by others... you should try and treat people that way. If you like directness, be direct. That kind of thing. It's far easier typed than done.

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By *oubleswing2019Man
2 days ago

Colchester

"If you are interested in someone and you're wanting to do away with patriarchal societal leanings, how would you let them know?

That is a very perspicacious question because it demonstrates that you are well aware of how many men are traditionally and hormonally coded to initiate contact, and understood how I try to avoid that programming and wondered how I achieve that.

My succinct answer is, "Don't be *that* guy".

By that, I mean "Don't be predatory. Don't undress with the eyes. Don't make them uncomfortable. Meet them as an equal. Maintain balance.

It's not so much a case of "letting them know", but rather a case of organically allowing communication to blossom over time, and both parties to become aware of what seeds have been sown and what they have grown together in their friendship and acquaintance. With the dawning realisation that neither could have grown "the thing" on their own without the other. And that's where the real "magic" happens in my mind.

Does that make sense ?

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By *ad NannaWoman
2 days ago

East London

I'm a wait for them to come to me kinda person.

So, if anyone reading this who knows me fancies me, give me a wink

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By *ad NannaWoman
2 days ago

East London

Occasionally, if I spot a profile pic I find very attractive, I'll send a message telling them so.

If they say thank you, I leave it at that. If they start a conversation, I go with it.

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By *eli OP Woman
2 days ago

"I’ve changed

I used to flirt like hell on here.

These days I rarely join in, much less flirt.

I’ve also stopped fancying people until I’ve met them.

I’m turning into a grumpy old lady."

No, that doesn't make you a grumpy old dear. You might be one but you're not turning in to one because you don't fancy them until you've met. Do you ever miss your more... carefree, heavy flirting days?

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By *emorefridaCouple
2 days ago

La la land

How obvious are you?

I think I'm being obvious and I am for me, but it's not obvious to the other person, which is really really useful.

Are you one for public flirting? Posting after them in forum threads a lot? Directly telling them how you feel about them?

I am not one for public flirting and take forum flirting with a pinch of salt. There are too many who enjoy the flirting aspect, which is fine but I can't tell what is genuine or not. So presume it's all banter flirting. I can't tell what I think of someone until I've met them, beyond thinking they're an ok person. It's too easy to strike up friendships online that fizzle out, prefer to put that energy into people I know already these days.

Do you like people who are obvious when it comes to you or do you prefer a more subtle approach?

I prefer a subtle approach, I'm not a showy person. It's kind of cute when I see others doing it. But if it's someone I'm interested in I'd prefer not to see them fawning over someone else.

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By *ad NannaWoman
2 days ago

East London

In real life eye contact is telling.

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By *arrenhertsmanMan
2 days ago

Hatfield

I’m sure my eyes are only too telling..

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
2 days ago

Essex

"I’ve changed

I used to flirt like hell on here.

These days I rarely join in, much less flirt.

I’ve also stopped fancying people until I’ve met them.

I’m turning into a grumpy old lady.

I kind of do miss my more carefree attitude. When things were full of wonder and shiny & new.

Maybe 2025 will see a return to a Misty the impish.

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By *amie HantsWoman
2 days ago

Atlantis

Yes think I’m pretty obvious with it. I would happily prance around naked wearing a sash that says ‘I have a crush on you’ just so they were aware. I like when people are clear they’re into me. I hate not knowing and being in limbo, guessing.

I also like it when others are obvious about who they’re into but claim to only flirt in DMs. Those are the ones that are the most obvious and make for good reading.

I might make a sash.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
2 days ago

East Sussex

I don't think I'm obvious and it's always nice to be appreciated.

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By *ad NannaWoman
2 days ago

East London

The problem with fake forum flirting is meeting in person and one of them thinking it's real.

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By *ickleTheWonderSchlongMan
2 days ago

Ends

"The problem with fake forum flirting is meeting in person and one of them thinking it's real."
I think it’s cruel if you meet and haven’t been clear it’s a friendship vibe

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By *IXEN200Woman
2 days ago

newcastle upon tyne

"I'm not.

Most of the time I will friend them then get pissed off with the lack of connection delete them "

I do this quite often.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
2 days ago

East Sussex

"The problem with fake forum flirting is meeting in person and one of them thinking it's real."

Yes that happens in real life too. The public charmer (man or woman) who gives off the wrong impression.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
2 days ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"I’ve changed

I used to flirt like hell on here.

These days I rarely join in, much less flirt.

I’ve also stopped fancying people until I’ve met them.

I’m turning into a grumpy old lady.

I kind of do miss my more carefree attitude. When things were full of wonder and shiny & new.

Maybe 2025 will see a return to a Misty the impish."

Impish Misty is a fun Misty x

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
2 days ago

Wherever

It’s rather rare I approach someone on here first, and even more so outside of Fab.

I’m very careful to not come across as flirtatious when someone is most likely just being nice.

Apparently I do things I’m not aware of that can be seen as flirting, and I am the most oblivious person in the whole world but I’ve been told many times whatever I do, works. I also prefer a subtle approach myself.

Now I realise none of this makes any sense

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By *ad NannaWoman
2 days ago

East London

"The problem with fake forum flirting is meeting in person and one of them thinking it's real. I think it’s cruel if you meet and haven’t been clear it’s a friendship vibe"

Yes, and some people misunderstand some joke comments, thinking it's flirting.

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By *ickleTheWonderSchlongMan
2 days ago

Ends

"The problem with fake forum flirting is meeting in person and one of them thinking it's real. I think it’s cruel if you meet and haven’t been clear it’s a friendship vibe

Yes, and some people misunderstand some joke comments, thinking it's flirting."

You’re very flirtatious on here

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By *ad NannaWoman
2 days ago

East London

"The problem with fake forum flirting is meeting in person and one of them thinking it's real.

Yes that happens in real life too. The public charmer (man or woman) who gives off the wrong impression. "

I'm aware that my body language and humour can be mistaken for interest. I make a mental note to rein it in.

I'm that person who laughs hard and leans their head on whoever is sitting next to me

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By *ad NannaWoman
2 days ago

East London

"The problem with fake forum flirting is meeting in person and one of them thinking it's real. I think it’s cruel if you meet and haven’t been clear it’s a friendship vibe

Yes, and some people misunderstand some joke comments, thinking it's flirting.

You’re very flirtatious on here"

Only with you, my ickle Pickle 😘

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By *nya NeesWoman
2 days ago

Brum

Yeah I like the flirt

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By *eli OP Woman
2 days ago

"Yes think I’m pretty obvious with it. I would happily prance around naked wearing a sash that says ‘I have a crush on you’ just so they were aware. I like when people are clear they’re into me. I hate not knowing and being in limbo, guessing.

I also like it when others are obvious about who they’re into but claim to only flirt in DMs. Those are the ones that are the most obvious and make for good reading.

I might make a sash. "

Make a sash! And then you can put it on/take it off as necessary and people know exactly where they stand with you. No hurt feelings and it'll be a talking piece.

Oh yes, *those* people. It's rather amusing reading isn't it? I shall say less on here.

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By *ulieScrumptiousWoman
2 days ago

North West

"I also like it when others are obvious about who they’re into but claim to only flirt in DMs. Those are the ones that are the most obvious and make for good reading.

I might make a sash. "

I like those too 😍

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By *eli OP Woman
2 days ago

"I've forgotten how to flirt. I just end up feeling really uncomfortable both online and off it.

I avoid it at all costs.

When I find someone attractive I never do anything about it because the liklihood is I will never get chance to meet them so why waste their time. "

Oh Kay, that's quite rubbish. You can still talk to people without... them thinking you'll be able to meet. Sometimes it's nice to have a no pressure chat about everything and nothing at all.

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By *ou only live onceMan
2 days ago

London

"Some very good questions Meli and I'll try my best to explain my own raison d'être.

3. Obvious/Subtlety. I mirror the giver, so if they are obvious, then I will be as well. If they are subtle, then I reciprocate the same.

Thank you for posting some very deep questions, and a bit of Sunday morning deep inner reflection is just the ticket to get the brain fired up for the day. (well, it works for me !)"

I genuinely can't work out if this post is ironic or not?

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By *rish_sparksMan
2 days ago

Bedford

I get all tongue tied and can't think of what to say 😝

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By *omingo77Man
2 days ago

blackburn

I go shy round people I find attractive

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By *ai Hard 2 - Dai HarderMan
2 days ago

Manchester / Cardiff

"fancy/find someone attractive... how obvious are you?"

...with them, directly, I try to be but will always try to reflect the energy reciprocated. I never want to be misinterpreted and am a worrier as such that I may not be saying the right thing at the right time.

"Are you one for public flirting? Posting after them in forum threads a lot? Directly telling them how you feel about them?"

No, if I flirt it's direct. If I comment in the forum it's very very rarely directed at an individual, and even when it is I try to make it complimentary rather than flirtatious. As a few have said, historically public adoration has bitten me on the arse, so I'd rather avoid that again.

"Do you like people who are obvious when it comes to you or do you prefer a more subtle approach?"

To me, directly, yes. If someone likes me, come and tell me they like me. Whether that be obvious or subtle, it is far more likely to be understood and not misread as just another forum quip

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By *ucka39Man
2 days ago

Newcastle

In public I'm blatant bit of flirting same online depending upon how I see them because I do keep a friend zone

Forums well it's just tongue and cheek even if they do know ya know

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By *ack688Man
2 days ago

abruzzo Italy (and UK)

I think life’s too short to not be open and honest about things like that, just a gentle ‘you seem great, I like/fancy you’, nothing creepy, then they can do whatever they want with that information

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By *ou only live onceMan
2 days ago

London

"fancy/find someone attractive... how obvious are you?

Are you one for public flirting? Posting after them in forum threads a lot? Directly telling them how you feel about them?

Do you like people who are obvious when it comes to you or do you prefer a more subtle approach?"

On here? I hope the people I like know; I've told them. Will forum-flirt too, but am always conscious not looking like I'm trailing people round like a virtual puppy.

Meeting in person, I'm quite subtle I think. I do flirt, well at least I *think* I do, but if someone doesn't respond to my signals I'm likely to assume they have received and choosing not to reciprocate rather than upping my own flirting ante.

I like direct people (which I know might make me a hypocrite given some of the above).

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By *ake_or_deathMan
2 days ago

Manchester

"fancy/find someone attractive... how obvious are you?

Are you one for public flirting? Posting after them in forum threads a lot? Directly telling them how you feel about them?

Do you like people who are obvious when it comes to you or do you prefer a more subtle approach?"

I'm a dreadful flirt - rubbish at it, in fact.

I don't think I'm obvious, but perhaps to others it's like I'm carrying a neon sign. When I notice someone interesting here I am more likely to engage with them on the forums, not in a flirty way but just to see if there's any possibility of establishing a rapport. That sounds very cynical but it's not meant that way - I can be very shy and also want to have some form of comfortable connection to a person before flirting with them more openly. This is partly because I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable by flirting with them when they're not wanting it (I like to have clear permission to flirt so I know it's welcome) and partly so that I can work out the *kind* of flirting that the person might welcome.

I suppose my other concern around flirting is starting to do so and then deciding for whatever reason that I don't want to continue to do so when they perhaps would. I find that difficult and it makes me hold back sometimes for fear of going too far and then having to pull back. Of course, this can mean that maybe I don't go far enough with someone who might have been ideal to flirt or more with had I gone forward with more certainty.

It is then hypocritical of me, but I do like it when someone is more direct with me. This is largely because I don't pick up on signals very well, and tend to assume that a woman won't be interested in me unless she makes it very clear that she is. And even if there's an understanding that the lady at least is or has been open to the idea of finding me attractive, I like it to be clear what kind of flirting she's open to with me so I don't say something that she won't like or would find wishy-washy.

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By *eli OP Woman
2 days ago

"How obvious are you?

I think I'm being obvious and I am for me, but it's not obvious to the other person, which is really really useful.

Are you one for public flirting? Posting after them in forum threads a lot? Directly telling them how you feel about them?

Do you like people who are obvious when it comes to you or do you prefer a more subtle approach?

I prefer a subtle approach, I'm not a showy person. It's kind of cute when I see others doing it. But if it's someone I'm interested in I'd prefer not to see them fawning over someone else. "

Hi Frida!

Yeah, I can see how being obvious to you, less so to the other might not be the best move. It'll work though, some how.

Taking forum flirting with a pinch of salt is a very good idea - it can sometimes be done with intent, other times it's just flirty white noise.

Why would you prefer to not see them fawning over others? If that's not too personal a question.

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By *a LunaWoman
2 days ago

South Wales

I think I’m pretty covert.

Because they never get the hint. Or if they do, they ignore it! 😩

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By *ickleTheWonderSchlongMan
2 days ago

Ends

"I think I’m pretty covert.

Because they never get the hint. Or if they do, they ignore it! 😩"

Yeah same. Same.

Anyway hi

I’m Steve.

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By *ai Hard 2 - Dai HarderMan
2 days ago

Manchester / Cardiff

"fancy/find someone attractive... how obvious are you?

Are you one for public flirting? Posting after them in forum threads a lot? Directly telling them how you feel about them?

Do you like people who are obvious when it comes to you or do you prefer a more subtle approach?

I'm a dreadful flirt - rubbish at it, in fact.

This I can relate to. Very well put squire (and no, I'm not flirting!)

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By *a LunaWoman
2 days ago

South Wales

"I think I’m pretty covert.

Because they never get the hint. Or if they do, they ignore it! 😩

Yeah same. Same.

Anyway hi

I’m Steve. "

Hi Steve

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
2 days ago

Glasgow / London

"Are you one for public flirting?"

Meli, dearest. I’m not even going to answer the question. You know me well enough.

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By *ickleTheWonderSchlongMan
2 days ago

Ends

"I think I’m pretty covert.

Because they never get the hint. Or if they do, they ignore it! 😩

Yeah same. Same.

Anyway hi

I’m Steve.

Hi Steve

I am trying to get some of that

Fr though.

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By *arry bethelABCMan
2 days ago

Aberdeen

"fancy/find someone attractive... how obvious are you?

Are you one for public flirting? Posting after them in forum threads a lot? Directly telling them how you feel about them?

Do you like people who are obvious when it comes to you or do you prefer a more subtle approach?"

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By *inkyycurvyyWoman
2 days ago

Manchester

I appreciate people being obvious as I'm terrible at reading signals and usually assume any public flirting is just being friendly.

I'm terrible at making the first move and flirting first with anyone but once I know someone is interested I can turn it up to 11 😂

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By *eli OP Woman
2 days ago

"The problem with fake forum flirting is meeting in person and one of them thinking it's real."

Yeah, I'd not considered that before but I know it happens. I think it's on people to possibly assume it's not real? Until it's very clear it is. But then again, maybe being too forward can be a turn off. So you end up stuck in a weird polite limbo until one person makes a move.

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By *emorefridaCouple
2 days ago

La la land

"How obvious are you?

I think I'm being obvious and I am for me, but it's not obvious to the other person, which is really really useful.

Are you one for public flirting? Posting after them in forum threads a lot? Directly telling them how you feel about them?

Do you like people who are obvious when it comes to you or do you prefer a more subtle approach?

I prefer a subtle approach, I'm not a showy person. It's kind of cute when I see others doing it. But if it's someone I'm interested in I'd prefer not to see them fawning over someone else.

Hi Frida!

Yeah, I can see how being obvious to you, less so to the other might not be the best move. It'll work though, some how.

Taking forum flirting with a pinch of salt is a very good idea - it can sometimes be done with intent, other times it's just flirty white noise.

Why would you prefer to not see them fawning over others? If that's not too personal a question."

Hi Meli,

To me though I could be totally wrong (often am). But I think if they are fawning over someone on the forum that suggests to me that's part of what makes them them. Which is fine I like seeing it in others. But that isn't for me, which to me makes me think we're incompatible. And I don't want anyone to diminish parts of themselves to suit me. I'd rather find people who are on my wavelength. That's a bit of a ramble, but I don't always believe polar opposites work in all instances.

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By *ickleTheWonderSchlongMan
2 days ago

Ends

"The problem with fake forum flirting is meeting in person and one of them thinking it's real.

For ages I thought you fancied me Meli. 💔

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By *arry bethelABCMan
2 days ago

Aberdeen

"fancy/find someone attractive... how obvious are you?

Are you one for public flirting? Posting after them in forum threads a lot? Directly telling them how you feel about them?

Do you like people who are obvious when it comes to you or do you prefer a more subtle approach?"

I fancy you _eli

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By *eli OP Woman
2 days ago

"Are you one for public flirting?

Meli, dearest. I’m not even going to answer the question. You know me well enough."

I do. You're a delight. Enough said really.

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By *eli OP Woman
2 days ago

"It’s rather rare I approach someone on here first, and even more so outside of Fab.

I’m very careful to not come across as flirtatious when someone is most likely just being nice.

Now I realise none of this makes any sense

No Chaos, it makes a lot of sense. I always have time for your posts/threads.

You don't need to be aware of it for it to be good. Flirting can be done in so many ways and sometimes it's those little things that people respond to so well. There's one particular flirty thing that someone can do that they don't even think about it but it always leaves me a bit flustered (if I'm attracted to the person). Keep being you, DC.

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By *aitonelMan
2 days ago

Away for Christmas

The people I fancy would be able to tell you better than I can. I just sort of do whatever, I don't really think about it.

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By *oughmanMan
2 days ago

Sunderland

All I can say is I am fucking crap at it.

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By *he return of meMan
2 days ago

Leeds

I never flirt and anyone I find attractive will never know because I'm not risking anything. I also really don't like when someone tries flirting with me, always feel like they want something. And I really do not like compliments because I don't feel like I'm good enough

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By *oeBeansMan
2 days ago

Derby

I'm much more obvious with it on here than I am in real life. I do tend to flirt publicly with women I fancy and can make it obvious on the forums and don't really believe in the idea of only flirting playfully as I wouldn't want to send mixed signals and wouldn't want someone to only flirt playfully with me without some genuine feelings behind it.

In real life, I like to know there's some sort of indication of interest there before I go into flirting because nothing makes me cringe more than flirting from one side.

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By *arrenhertsmanMan
2 days ago

Hatfield

If some one here fancies me they can simply wink or message me id love it

I’ve only messaged people here after forum banter that makes if obvious an attraction has been met

In public the social of rules of my mate really fancies you are some what different but my eyes and tone of voice would imo make it easy for person to know I fancy them .. I don’t leer perv of make awkward but you’d know I was attracted I’m sure

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
2 days ago

Wherever

"It’s rather rare I approach someone on here first, and even more so outside of Fab.

I’m very careful to not come across as flirtatious when someone is most likely just being nice.

Now I realise none of this makes any sense

No Chaos, it makes a lot of sense. I always have time for your posts/threads.

Meli

You’re like that one sister I always wanted but never had.

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By *usty kayCouple
2 days ago

Burnham

"I've forgotten how to flirt. I just end up feeling really uncomfortable both online and off it.

I avoid it at all costs.

When I find someone attractive I never do anything about it because the liklihood is I will never get chance to meet them so why waste their time.

Oh Kay, that's quite rubbish. You can still talk to people without... them thinking you'll be able to meet. Sometimes it's nice to have a no pressure chat about everything and nothing at all."

Thankfully there are 1 or 2 that stick around for the no pressure chat but the rest inevitably come back to wanting to meet. Saying no so often is just depressing

Occasionally I find a friend which makes it worth staying for.

I just tend to avoid the flirty threads now

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By *eally_RosieWoman
2 days ago

Scunthorpe

I am crap at expressing interest, and I’m terrible at reading it too… which is probably why most of my conversations on here are circular and rarely turn into much else

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By *arrenhertsmanMan
2 days ago

Hatfield

"I am crap at expressing interest, and I’m terrible at reading it too… which is probably why most of my conversations on here are circular and rarely turn into much else

You simply need more practice …. And you get better at it ..

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By *eli OP Woman
2 days ago

"I never flirt and anyone I find attractive will never know because I'm not risking anything. I also really don't like when someone tries flirting with me, always feel like they want something. And I really do not like compliments because I don't feel like I'm good enough"

You're good enough. It's typed a lot, said a lot in life but it's always true. If someone compliments you (and I think a bit more so because you're a man) it means that they want to give you a compliment, not necessarily want anything from it. Other than saying what they have. Are you happy on Fab? What would you be risking by flirting?

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By *he Whole PortionCouple
2 days ago

in & around

Like pics. Add to hot list. Send a wink and and a quick intro message with a face pic attached.

So we'd say pretty full on

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By *mmaleiaWoman
2 days ago

Trowbridge

"I’ll just message them outright, flirt a bit in the forums sometimes

So, you're happy to message first? None of the qualms some women have about doing so?"

Yes, I’ll message 1st, no qualms

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
2 days ago

Glasgow / London

"Yes, I’ll message 1st, no qualms

What if I like qualms?

(What actually *is* a qualm, anyway? Have you ever seen one, in the wild?)

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By *riar BelisseWoman
2 days ago

Delightful Bliss

I message them privately. I'll only banter with friends on the forum, not possible sexual Interests, on the rare occasion a forumite holds my Interest

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By *ansoffateMan
2 days ago

Sagittarius A

I am oddly more interested in what people have to say, even if there's an image of their bum, boobs or testicles on display next to it.

It is better being direct with me. I don't mind it being said on the forums, but at the same time why do it there?

Mrs TMN x"

That's a really good point: mood dependent. I think it's really easy to fall into the trap of perceiving people in one-dimensional ways, it is arguably human nature to do so. In reality, people are multi-faceted, well most 😆.

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By *rincipessaWoman
2 days ago

your wildest dreams,

If I’m flirting publicly, it’s fun. The real stuff happens behind closed doors

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