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"Including sex in clubs, glory holes... erm you get the idea. In the past two years, have you done any of the above? Do you think that on the forum that kind of thing can be looked down on at times? Would you ever hide that sort of thing because you don't want to put potential fucks off? " I sure have _eli belly! I sure have | |||
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"Including sex in clubs, glory holes... erm you get the idea. In the past two years, have you done any of the above? Do you think that on the forum that kind of thing can be looked down on at times? Would you ever hide that sort of thing because you don't want to put potential fucks off? I sure have _eli belly! I sure have " I like that you're unashamedly you Brucey. It's very endearing. In a puppy kind of way.  | |||
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"Including sex in clubs, glory holes... erm you get the idea. In the past two years, have you done any of the above? Do you think that on the forum that kind of thing can be looked down on at times? Would you ever hide that sort of thing because you don't want to put potential fucks off? I sure have _eli belly! I sure have I like that you're unashamedly you Brucey. It's very endearing. In a puppy kind of way. "Snog me then | |||
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"Some people on here see it as a red flag and will decide against someone who has engaged in it. Personally, if it's done responsibly then it's not an issue for me. This site is all about sexual exploration and sometime that means you only engage for brief times." Yes. And just because they enjoy one thing, doesn't mean they won't enjoy something else with you. Have you had casual sex recently? | |||
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"I see what you mean. I prefer ONS but then I’m also openly honest about it. I see however how this can be looked down, for example people think you’re not worthy second go, for many different reasons. I also think people are not totally against it but admitting that, they kinda go against the common narrative that sex gets better with time. It’s not always the case. " You're right DC. I like when people can be honest about what they like. Understand why that's not always the case though. The forums at times can be quite heavy on the deeper connection, the idea that everything has to be really meaningful. But there's a wealth of sex out there to be enjoyed and explored. It's not a defining feature unless you want it to be. | |||
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"Yes I have. I think there are certain people on here who look down on it but then I wonder why they are on here and not on a dating site." Does two looking down ons make a right? Ha, no, I see what you're saying. It can be quite judgy at times. | |||
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I am very open about my life, sex or otherwise.
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"I have done some of that sort of thing and I have every intention of doing more. Yes, I do think the forum can be judgey about it so I don't go into details and also it's just none of people's business. It's just a small part of the many types of sex I like and someone finding it off-putting is a mutual incompatibility. As is somebody finding it a big attraction because like I say, small part. " Mutual incompatibility is a good way of looking at it. There's nothing wrong with being a poly sex person, is there? I hope you continue enjoying the casual elements and what other elements you want to. | |||
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"Major red flags...shows those types have little to no standards...stay well clear! " I guess if that's how you view it, it's an easy way of showing you're not compatible. Steering well clear is probably beneficial to both. | |||
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"Isn't all sex on fab no strings attached?? Am I the only person who doesn't know what ONS means?" I keep reading it as Office for National Statistics. | |||
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"Isn't all sex on fab no strings attached?? Am I the only person who doesn't know what ONS means? I keep reading it as Office for National Statistics." Our survey says... | |||
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"Isn't all sex on fab no strings attached?? Am I the only person who doesn't know what ONS means? I keep reading it as Office for National Statistics." Well that was my first thought too -but I wasn't sure how the club visit and glory hole fitted it! | |||
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"Isn't all sex on fab no strings attached?? Am I the only person who doesn't know what ONS means? I keep reading it as Office for National Statistics. Well that was my first thought too -but I wasn't sure how the club visit and glory hole fitted it!" Maybe you do an exit poll when leaving the glory hole. | |||
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"Major red flags...shows those types have little to no standards...stay well clear! I guess if that's how you view it, it's an easy way of showing you're not compatible. Steering well clear is probably beneficial to both. " Absolutely, I'm definitely not compatible with people that have little to no standards, and will bang half the guys in a club on a single night and then profess how careful they are on their profile. | |||
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"Isn't all sex on fab no strings attached?? ..." No strings until there are strings. I have three or four strings on my heart but I'm not moving house. | |||
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"Isn't all sex on fab no strings attached?? Am I the only person who doesn't know what ONS means?" No. Well, it could be in your usage on Fab. Other people's usage of Fab. There's no one set way to use Fab is there? Some people want casual sex, others want/hope to find different dynamics. | |||
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"Isn't all sex on fab no strings attached?? Am I the only person who doesn't know what ONS means? I keep reading it as Office for National Statistics. Well that was my first thought too -but I wasn't sure how the club visit and glory hole fitted it! Maybe you do an exit poll when leaving the glory hole."  | |||
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"Serious answer though, who gives a shit? Don't have sex with people if it's a problem but we are a swingers site, you can't have relationships with everyone you have sex with if you're active and like having sex with new people... It's that simple! The only time I've ever put off is if a girl I like tells me in detail about a meet they have had or a one night stand...which has happened. Other than that, have sex with who you want and I'll let you know if I wanna hear tales!" Some people do. It means that, as has been said on the thread previously, you're not compatible. It's just another way people work out if someone is for them or not. | |||
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"I've been to plenty of clubs and parties with and without my fwb's for ONS fun sexy times with strangers. I am promiscuous, I like variety and am not going to hide my veris for anyone. They are a really good filter for my likeminded people to find me. Re forum wise, I stopped hunting on there when the jealousy started. We have lots of us shared partners knowingly and unknowingly on here. But some seem to really have a problem with others playing with supposed "their man". I've no time for Drama Llamas so it's best for me to avoid. " I did make a mistake on another site. She got very clingy, scared the hell out of me. Thank good we never met, I cancelled the hotel and eventually left the site. She was a Mod and wiped my profile and that of another woman I was seeing. | |||
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"Serious answer though, who gives a shit? Don't have sex with people if it's a problem but we are a swingers site, you can't have relationships with everyone you have sex with if you're active and like having sex with new people... It's that simple! The only time I've ever put off is if a girl I like tells me in detail about a meet they have had or a one night stand...which has happened. Other than that, have sex with who you want and I'll let you know if I wanna hear tales! Some people do. It means that, as has been said on the thread previously, you're not compatible. It's just another way people work out if someone is for them or not." Mostly I do not kiss and tell, but there is a person on here that we relive meets with as we play and sometimes live a fantasy. Sorry not saying who our fantasies are about. | |||
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"Including sex in clubs, glory holes... erm you get the idea. In the past two years, have you done any of the above? Do you think that on the forum that kind of thing can be looked down on at times? Would you ever hide that sort of thing because you don't want to put potential fucks off? " Ok someone has kindly explained the acronym..I find the thread very odd for fab ... | |||
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"When I see forum people make a big deal about needing connection etc to meet others and building up communication over an extended period of time with someone a distance away i sometimes wonder if it's a way of trying to almost legitimise and give permission to themselves to have casual sex " I think that you're right - sometimes it is. Casual sex dressed up so it's almost more palatable. Easier for them to swallow. Sometimes it can be a way of legitimising themselves to others. There are lots of reasons as to why people do it. | |||
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"I’m going to add one more comment because I really like this thread, and it ties together nicely with mine. The way my life circumstances go, my Fab needs to be ONS based. Do I fuck random people? No. Do I care about who I fuck? Hell yes. I go through a lengthy process to get to know them, I encourage them, I celebrate their accomplishments. Sometimes life circumstances don’t let us to meet again, so it’s kind of ONS but when they do, they become that comet connection Julie told us about and I really, really like that. Hope that makes sense." Aww thank you DC! Yes, a reply to a post of mine on your thread inspired this so thank you for that. I like that we can have discussions about this kind of thing and I'm enjoying reading how different people view it. Ah, I'd heard about the comet theory? No, comet idea, analogy, some time ago and it makes perfect sense. One night stands might be just that because of circumstance but it doesn't make the "connection" made at the time any less real. It depends on what it looks like to you (a general you) and the person/people involved. | |||
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"When I see forum people make a big deal about needing connection etc to meet others and building up communication over an extended period of time with someone a distance away i sometimes wonder if it's a way of trying to almost legitimise and give permission to themselves to have casual sex I think that you're right - sometimes it is. Casual sex dressed up so it's almost more palatable. Easier for them to swallow. Sometimes it can be a way of legitimising themselves to others. There are lots of reasons as to why people do it." If I am going to travel I need to be sure the lady is intending to meet so I chat to them. I may chat for sometime while I make arrangements but when I find someone around the corner I meet for coffee and hope. | |||
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"Do we class NSA as anything not a relationship or anything less than FWB? I had a ONS with somebody I've known fairly well for many years. That's about it. It's not something I go around shouting about, none of their business. But I don't care who knows either if it's something like this thread and I'm answering a question. " I'm not sure KaiKai, I'm not sure. The definition is so fluid and subjective, much like any term on Fab. Bar ones that describe sexual acts. I'm musing out loud whilst I deep clean ready for next week. | |||
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"Major red flags...shows those types have little to no standards...stay well clear! I guess if that's how you view it, it's an easy way of showing you're not compatible. Steering well clear is probably beneficial to both. Absolutely, I'm definitely not compatible with people that have little to no standards, and will bang half the guys in a club on a single night and then profess how careful they are on their profile. " Ah I understand; that dissonance can be rather jarring can't it? I mean, mildly jarring really but who doesn't love some hyperbole to welcome in the new year. Perhaps they carefully chose those men and they all fitted their requirements at the time? Maybe careful to them means very safe sex? Who knows. | |||
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"Major red flags...shows those types have little to no standards...stay well clear! I guess if that's how you view it, it's an easy way of showing you're not compatible. Steering well clear is probably beneficial to both. Absolutely, I'm definitely not compatible with people that have little to no standards, and will bang half the guys in a club on a single night and then profess how careful they are on their profile. Ah I understand; that dissonance can be rather jarring can't it? I mean, mildly jarring really but who doesn't love some hyperbole to welcome in the new year. Perhaps they carefully chose those men and they all fitted their requirements at the time? Maybe careful to them means very safe sex? Who knows. " They carefully chose the men that just randomly showed up at the club..🤔 Not sure how careful it is putting some guys cock in your mouth you've met 10 minutes earlier but sure..🤷🏻♂️ | |||
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"Isn't all sex on fab no strings attached?? Am I the only person who doesn't know what ONS means? I keep reading it as Office for National Statistics. Our survey says... " The British version of Sydney University. | |||
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"I've been to plenty of clubs and parties with and without my fwb's for ONS fun sexy times with strangers. I am promiscuous, I like variety and am not going to hide my veris for anyone. They are a really good filter for my likeminded people to find me. " Oh that's really lovely! You've found what works for you and you're embracing it.  | |||
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" They carefully chose the men that just randomly showed up at the club..🤔 Not sure how careful it is putting some guys cock in your mouth you've met 10 minutes earlier but sure..🤷🏻♂️" I mean there is a risk every time you have sex? How does knowing someone longer remove the risk if you don't see their SH testing, or if they don't even test? How is meeting someone on a dating site safer for instance The thread feels like a fishing trip... | |||
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"Like I said, the forums, and by that I mean the Lounge in particular, can be judgey. 😂😂😂" Are you judging the judgeys J?  xxxx | |||
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"Like I said, the forums, and by that I mean the Lounge in particular, can be judgey. 😂😂😂 Are you judging the judgeys J? xxxx"I am. I am being Judge Julie Judgey McJudgerson QC of Judge City. | |||
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"Twice, both from disco dancing Nick nights at traditional nightclubs. If it is looked down on, I'm unlikely to let other people's thinking affect mine. Most probably don't look down on it though - certainly not "main site", and I don't see that much of it being looked down on in the Lounge bubble. But if there's one comment disparaging it, the human mind will remember that one comment rather than the 500 who didn't comment at all, right? Would it put people off me? If it does, it's saved me time filtering them out. I deliberately do lots of other things to put people off me - only those who get to the end of that obstacle course are the ones I want to talk seriously with about being future and ongoing lovers, which is a different thing to my ONS tastes. " Oh I'm well aware of confirmation and cognitive bias. How it works. No need to explain either of that to me. 
I do think that sometimes people can be rather judgy about it. Like Nicecouple posted though, everything is judged. Discussions about it happen less frequently and my curious mind enjoys learning how others view it.
Lots of things can be useful filtering tools on this site. Not just the tools the site actively provides us with. | |||
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"Like I said, the forums, and by that I mean the Lounge in particular, can be judgey. 😂😂😂 Are you judging the judgeys J? xxxx
I am. I am being Judge Julie Judgey McJudgerson QC of Judge City. "
Well I think you have a phenomenal pair of judges 😘💥 | |||
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" They carefully chose the men that just randomly showed up at the club..🤔 Not sure how careful it is putting some guys cock in your mouth you've met 10 minutes earlier but sure..🤷🏻♂️ I mean there is a risk every time you have sex? How does knowing someone longer remove the risk if you don't see their SH testing, or if they don't even test? How is meeting someone on a dating site safer for instance The thread feels like a fishing trip..." It's not, Midnight. It's a discussion thread. People can choose to share what they feel comfortable with. I like that posters have contributed how they feel about it, discussing their takes on it. Some people (Brucey and Compy and Aviatrix spring to mind) are happy to discuss things and are very open. Other posters have made me think about my own views on the subject and I really value that. As Delicious picked up earlier, it's a thread following on from someone's post on her thread, that was a direct reply to me. | |||
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"Read through this thread trying to work out what ONS stands for? Apologies for the basic question, it’s a very sheltered life under my rock. I am mainly here to meet attractive married women and their chilled husbands that enjoy seeing/ sharing their wives with me so nsa is essential where feelings are concerned. That’s not to say I don’t seek regular meets with the same people if we’re all compatible and the sex is fantastic." One night stand. | |||
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"Read through this thread trying to work out what ONS stands for? Apologies for the basic question, it’s a very sheltered life under my rock. I am mainly here to meet attractive married women and their chilled husbands that enjoy seeing/ sharing their wives with me so nsa is essential where feelings are concerned. That’s not to say I don’t seek regular meets with the same people if we’re all compatible and the sex is fantastic." One night stand | |||
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"Read through this thread trying to work out what ONS stands for? Apologies for the basic question, it’s a very sheltered life under my rock. I am mainly here to meet attractive married women and their chilled husbands that enjoy seeing/ sharing their wives with me so nsa is essential where feelings are concerned. That’s not to say I don’t seek regular meets with the same people if we’re all compatible and the sex is fantastic. One night stand." Passively shocked | |||
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"Like I said, the forums, and by that I mean the Lounge in particular, can be judgey. 😂😂😂 Are you judging the judgeys J? xxxx
I am. I am being Judge Julie Judgey McJudgerson QC of Judge City. "Aww Julie. ❤️ You're really quite likeable. | |||
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"I like the question and it's interesting how everyone has their own lens both in the framing of the question and their answers. The whole thread and other people's responses has made me think about my own experiences so I'm going to add a bit more. If someone hasn't noticed that the forums can be judgey in a myriad of ways then they've been hiding under a rock. I do think there are people who I might be interested in who would be put off by 'Sex Person Julie' but that would be their loss because I'm awesome. 😂" And you do clean the jizz off between meets. Mostly  | |||
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"I like the question and it's interesting how everyone has their own lens both in the framing of the question and their answers. The whole thread and other people's responses has made me think about my own experiences so I'm going to add a bit more. If someone hasn't noticed that the forums can be judgey in a myriad of ways then they've been hiding under a rock. I do think there are people who I might be interested in who would be put off by 'Sex Person Julie' but that would be their loss because I'm awesome. 😂 And you do clean the jizz off between meets. Mostly "Do I fuck. I walk around Tesco with jizzy tits. | |||
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"I like the question and it's interesting how everyone has their own lens both in the framing of the question and their answers. The whole thread and other people's responses has made me think about my own experiences so I'm going to add a bit more. If someone hasn't noticed that the forums can be judgey in a myriad of ways then they've been hiding under a rock. I do think there are people who I might be interested in who would be put off by 'Sex Person Julie' but that would be their loss because I'm awesome. 😂 And you do clean the jizz off between meets. Mostly
Do I fuck. I walk around Tesco with jizzy tits. "
Every dribble helps  . | |||
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"No, I haven't. I'm not looking for NSA personally but I dont judge others that are, what's the point? What they are looking for doesn't affect what I'm looking for. Just means we aren't compatible. Yes, the forum can be extremely judgy sometimes. " Is there an element of judging in saying we're not compatible with someone? I'm not quite being serious here.
That's a good way of looking at it, anyway. I've met those who enjoy casual sex and other types of sexual interactions. If it doesn't affect me, I'm not too fussed about what they do. If they're exclusively looking for casual sex? We're not compatible. And that's fine. | |||
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"I had a ONS last year with someone I didn't know and honestly it was awful and reinforces how important trust and connection is for me. I don't judge others for it though, it must be amazing to let go easily with a stranger. I wouldn't say that the forums are particularly judgy about those kind of things in comparison to real life. I guess the only thing that would make me judge someone is knowing they were fucking/playing with strangers often without protection. I think that says a lot about someone. " Lemmy! Hey Lemmy, thank you for the openness. I tried a erm very casual sexual dynamic in the past couple of years (the time frame in the OP was chosen purely because I think it sounds recent-ish) and it didn't really do anything for me. Much like your experience. I don't know if that's possibly because I still have some monogamous leanings/hang ups. Or maybe it's just not for me and I shouldn't think too much on it. I'm pondering though. I quite like exploring why certain things aren't for me, challenging any questionable opinions I might have etc. How would you find out about sexual health? People lie/omit certain facts. I suppose there's an element of trust and also, looking out for yourself. Another poster used risk management and I like that. | |||
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"Including sex in clubs, glory holes... erm you get the idea. In the past two years, have you done any of the above? Do you think that on the forum that kind of thing can be looked down on at times? Would you ever hide that sort of thing because you don't want to put potential fucks off? " Ehm? Weird one if people are judging those that go to clubs? | |||
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"I had a ONS last year with someone I didn't know and honestly it was awful and reinforces how important trust and connection is for me. I don't judge others for it though, it must be amazing to let go easily with a stranger. I wouldn't say that the forums are particularly judgy about those kind of things in comparison to real life. I guess the only thing that would make me judge someone is knowing they were fucking/playing with strangers often without protection. I think that says a lot about someone. Lemmy! Hey Lemmy, thank you for the openness. I tried a erm very casual sexual dynamic in the past couple of years (the time frame in the OP was chosen purely because I think it sounds recent-ish) and it didn't really do anything for me. Much like your experience. I don't know if that's possibly because I still have some monogamous leanings/hang ups. Or maybe it's just not for me and I shouldn't think too much on it. I'm pondering though. I quite like exploring why certain things aren't for me, challenging any questionable opinions I might have etc. How would you find out about sexual health? People lie/omit certain facts. I suppose there's an element of trust and also, looking out for yourself. Another poster used risk management and I like that." People will lie, but as long as you are reading a situation it is the same as personal safety. Is it just oral? If there is penetration is there a condom? For me when covid was at its peak I wasn't meeting anyone, even regs as my view was if they were willing to risk covid for a lay, they weren't going to be the sexual awareness types... | |||
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"Including sex in clubs, glory holes... erm you get the idea. In the past two years, have you done any of the above? Do you think that on the forum that kind of thing can be looked down on at times? Would you ever hide that sort of thing because you don't want to put potential fucks off? Ok someone has kindly explained the acronym..I find the thread very odd for fab ..." Many people (not saying you, Midnight, or the OP) think that Fab is reduced to the Forum when in reality it is a minuscule part of the whole site. For me the forum has never been a hunting or fishing ground. Ever. I attend socials because I love meeting new people (and I met my best friend in the whole world at a forum social) but most of the people I have met from Fab who have any relevance in my life weren’t even aware there was a forum on Fab. As Sparkle74 said, the forum is the minority. So whatever they think of the way I use this website or who I meet is of no concern to me. | |||
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"I get looked down on anyway being a shortarse." Except when you’re on top. | |||
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"I have indeed. I get looked down on anyway being a shortarse. But in all seriousness- if anyone judges me & decides they don’t wish to fuck me…. Zero shiny shits given. My moral compass is my own. What irks me is the people who make the judgey comments on here…. But then are totally different in DMs (and total shitbags in real life) " Shiny shits is brilliant! | |||
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"Including sex in clubs, glory holes... erm you get the idea. In the past two years, have you done any of the above? Do you think that on the forum that kind of thing can be looked down on at times? Would you ever hide that sort of thing because you don't want to put potential fucks off? " Just wrote a long response to this and accidentally refreshed the page and lost it. I'll try to be succinct. I've never been to clubs or gloryholes but ONS and NSA? Absolutely - and mostly enjoyed them. Some I knew were ONS going in (for example with someone only in the UK on holiday) and others turned out to be ONS afterwards for various reasons. I don't necessarily agree with the common statement that sex always gets better the more times you do it with someone. There's a thrill to the first time you get to explore someone's body. Sometimes the chemistry is such that you crave that person again (and again, and again) and sometimes it isn't and you don't want to go back - not because there was anything wrong with the person or the sex, but because the spark was only large enough to enflame you both once. And that's fine - you have a pleasant evening and you move on. I have people who became friends after we slept together and decided not to do so again but we got on so stayed in touch, and others where we didn't. It's not disrespectful if done properly. Yes it can be disappointing but there's nothing to be done about that. | |||
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