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What conspiracy would you love to come true next year?
Bonus points if you proffer a completely mentalist (but plausible - plausible is vital here!) line of reasoning to back it up.
Winner gets the original AI COVID bat, made in California using nanoflesh and Neuralink. | |||
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"The government are covering up the true number of conspiracies! " Only because the lizard greys from Sirius have brainwashed them though 😘. | |||
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"There’s a huge stockpile of green wine gums somewhere. Why else would there be so fucking many of the manky bastards in a bag of Wine Gums? " I think they're COVID batshit. Normal batshit you can turn into gunpowder. But 5G COVID nanoflesh Neuralink batshit can only be used in a packet of green wine gums. Logical, when you think about it  . | |||
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"There’s a huge stockpile of green wine gums somewhere. Why else would there be so fucking many of the manky bastards in a bag of Wine Gums? I think they're COVID batshit. Normal batshit you can turn into gunpowder. But 5G COVID nanoflesh Neuralink batshit can only be used in a packet of green wine gums. Logical, when you think about it ."That’s why the fuckers glow in the dark then. Better to keep the sheeples awake. | |||
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"There’s a huge stockpile of green wine gums somewhere. Why else would there be so fucking many of the manky bastards in a bag of Wine Gums? I think they're COVID batshit. Normal batshit you can turn into gunpowder. But 5G COVID nanoflesh Neuralink batshit can only be used in a packet of green wine gums. Logical, when you think about it .
That’s why the fuckers glow in the dark then.
Better to keep the sheeples awake."
You're good at this  .
Bonus point for getting "sheeples" in there  . | |||
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"It’s a bit cuntish really. Everyone likes reds and blacks, so ‘they’ cut down on the ratio enough to force you to buy a bag of reds and black only. But you like the yellow and orange ones just enough to need those too. Now you gotta buy 2 bags of wine gums. And the great ‘they’…….the big confectioners……..force RonaBogeys on us. I’ve done my research. " "They" do - "they've" been meeting in the Swiss Alps all over the Christmas period - sacrificing virgins, stroking cats, plotting confectionery chaos. | |||
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"Not so much a conspiracy, rather a prognostication by the late Bulgarian psychic, Baba Vanga: That extraterrestrials will reveal themselves unto the human race in spectacular fashion at a major sporting event in 2025. This has just got to be an awesome spectacle, right? Just imagine Claire Balding’s resulting stunned commentary as the little grey buggers run around all over the indoor green at Potters Resorts in January….. 😱😱 " I do like it when Balding gets flustered. It transports me back to an England of the 1930s... | |||
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"Harry will need a new kidney and finally find out his DNA isn’t as good a match to the rest of his family as he thought it’d be. Gbat " 🤭🤭 | |||
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"That their is a black hole and that eventually all the Earths atmosphere will be sucked into it and we all die before diesel fuel is abolished ." Is that the black hole by Antarctica? Or Luton? | |||
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"That their is a black hole and that eventually all the Earths atmosphere will be sucked into it and we all die before diesel fuel is abolished . Is that the black hole by Antarctica? Or Luton?" Oooo now let me think . | |||
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"All individual conspiracy theories are actually just part of of one huge conspiracy to keep us occupied while they sneak green wine gums into the packet." I knew it! They nearly had me too Arthur! | |||
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"All individual conspiracy theories are actually just part of of one huge conspiracy to keep us occupied while they sneak green wine gums into the packet. I knew it! They nearly had me too Arthur!" Just doing a public service. I’m part of the secret committee which thinks up the individual theories. | |||
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"Home Bargains is really a secret sub division of the BBC. Those potted indoor plants that look like they’re just alive so you take them home to “revive” them are a ploy. At the bottom of the plant there is a small antenna that listens in on the reasons folk are no longer watching prime tv, e.g. Songs of Praise. Folk always let their guard down when surrounded by house plants. The fools!!" This one does not originate from the committee and so might actually be true. | |||
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"They finally reveal why they've been watching us through our laptop cameras amd smart tvs. It's to sell us more pants! " What worries me more, is it's a work laptop. They got to see it all first before the "They" did!  | |||
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"It’s a bit cuntish really. Everyone likes reds and blacks, so ‘they’ cut down on the ratio enough to force you to buy a bag of reds and black only. But you like the yellow and orange ones just enough to need those too. Now you gotta buy 2 bags of wine gums. And the great ‘they’…….the big confectioners……..force RonaBogeys on us. I’ve done my research. "They" do - "they've" been meeting in the Swiss Alps all over the Christmas period - sacrificing virgins, stroking cats, plotting confectionery chaos." There are still virgins?? | |||
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"Not so much a conspiracy, rather a prognostication by the late Bulgarian psychic, Baba Vanga: That extraterrestrials will reveal themselves unto the human race in spectacular fashion at a major sporting event in 2025. This has just got to be an awesome spectacle, right? Just imagine Claire Balding’s resulting stunned commentary as the little grey buggers run around all over the indoor green at Potters Resorts in January….. 😱😱 " Indeed, and also the gender neutral fad was invented to accommodate the up and coming alien invasion as all aliens are non binary.  | |||
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"They finally reveal why they've been watching us through our laptop cameras amd smart tvs. It's to sell us more pants! " We’ve been watching. Oh and by more pants. | |||
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"Harry will need a new kidney and finally find out his DNA isn’t as good a match to the rest of his family as he thought it’d be. Gbat " Like they'd even offer Harry a kidney...bastards. | |||
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"In 2025 it will come out that the US has had a means of travelling to extraterrestrial planets since the late 90s. They've been using an ancient artefact discovered during a dig in Egypt in the 1920s to open wormholes that they send military scouting teams through. They've actually contacted several alien races and even worse, they've become involved in some sort of interstellar war after inciting one of these races, who have sent a massive spaceship to destroy us! 😳 . Oh, no wait... that's the plot of Stargate SG1... As you were. "It's definitely kangaphants Davina. The voices told me 😘. | |||
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"In 2025 it will come out that the US has had a means of travelling to extraterrestrial planets since the late 90s. They've been using an ancient artefact discovered during a dig in Egypt in the 1920s to open wormholes that they send military scouting teams through. They've actually contacted several alien races and even worse, they've become involved in some sort of interstellar war after inciting one of these races, who have sent a massive spaceship to destroy us! 😳 . Oh, no wait... that's the plot of Stargate SG1... As you were. "A new series based on stargate would be brilliant | |||
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"The Wombles were all quietly murdered in the early 80s, as their environmental efforts were at odds with the Thatcher government. Rumour has it that everything was arranged to have them all aboard the Rainbow Warrior when it was sunk." 😱 Oh my god! Please no! Poor Great Uncle Bulgaria…. 😭😭😭😭😜 | |||
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"The Wombles were all quietly murdered in the early 80s, as their environmental efforts were at odds with the Thatcher government. Rumour has it that everything was arranged to have them all aboard the Rainbow Warrior when it was sunk. 😱 Oh my god! Please no! Poor Great Uncle Bulgaria…. 😭😭😭😭😜" 😥 Tis true. He took a stick of dynamite right up the Orinoco. | |||
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"The Wombles were all quietly murdered in the early 80s, as their environmental efforts were at odds with the Thatcher government. Rumour has it that everything was arranged to have them all aboard the Rainbow Warrior when it was sunk. 😱 Oh my god! Please no! Poor Great Uncle Bulgaria…. 😭😭😭😭😜 😥 Tis true. He took a stick of dynamite right up the Orinoco." 😂😂😢😢😢 I heard the shady powers that be also took out The Flumps a few years back to. They planted an explosive device into Grandfather Flumps, Flumpet which detonated when he played his trademark end credits solo; wiped the entire lot of them out and officially blamed it on a random gas leak(!) Bastards! 😡 | |||
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"There’s a huge stockpile of green wine gums somewhere. Why else would there be so fucking many of the manky bastards in a bag of Wine Gums? " Geo Wizard finally shows up with a location for all of the world's missing stock pile of missing socks. It's an island, a tenth of the size and shape of New Zealand or Italy | |||
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"The Wombles were all quietly murdered in the early 80s, as their environmental efforts were at odds with the Thatcher government. Rumour has it that everything was arranged to have them all aboard the Rainbow Warrior when it was sunk. 😱 Oh my god! Please no! Poor Great Uncle Bulgaria…. 😭😭😭😭😜 😥 Tis true. He took a stick of dynamite right up the Orinoco. 😂😂😢😢😢 I heard the shady powers that be also took out The Flumps a few years back to. They planted an explosive device into Grandfather Flumps, Flumpet which detonated when he played his trademark end credits solo; wiped the entire lot of them out and officially blamed it on a random gas leak(!) Bastards! 😡 " They weren't a fan of the poll tax either and I wrote a song about that a few years back. 'We'll live on this common poll tax free' | |||
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"I still insist Covid was a complete hoax so that the government of the world could get together, get everyone off the streets for a while, replace the batteries and cameras in all the pigeons and make them all 5G compatible. You might laugh but answer me this, how did they really find an Osama Bin Laden & Dread Pirate Roberts…. AND Who here has ever seen a baby pigeon? No one has. They don’t exist. " I kept pigeons as a kid. White fantails (which are pigeons, although everyone calls them doves). They had babies. I saw them hatch. Then I put the cameras in them...but 🤫🤫🤫. | |||
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"This sounds like a conspiracy but is actually true: The EU are about to pass a law that all orchestral string instruments must be able to generate electricity by 2030. They want to tap into the kinetic energy created from all the sawing back n forth of the stick thing (although I expect they’ll look up and use the official name for it in the bill). Experiments are under way for using woodwind instruments to power underground trains in cities by collecting and pressurising the orchestra’s puff in chambers. " ^^ seems legit. | |||
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"I still insist Covid was a complete hoax so that the government of the world could get together, get everyone off the streets for a while, replace the batteries and cameras in all the pigeons and make them all 5G compatible. You might laugh but answer me this, how did they really find an Osama Bin Laden & Dread Pirate Roberts…. AND Who here has ever seen a baby pigeon? No one has. They don’t exist. I kept pigeons as a kid. White fantails (which are pigeons, although everyone calls them doves). They had babies. I saw them hatch. Then I put the cameras in them...but 🤫🤫🤫." Well, at the height of the cultural revolution in China something like one in five people were employed as spies and to re-distribute the party lies through all areas of society, school teachers, shopkeepers, factory workers , their job was when ever any kind of descent or opinion was formed contradicted with the party propaganda they would challenge it with stories like these , so it wouldn’t surprise me if they infiltrated the FAB forum as well to carry on the lies. You never really kept pigeons and saw them hatch as a child did you ? | |||
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"You never really kept pigeons and saw them hatch as a child did you ? "
I did!
It was near that meat market in Wuhan, so there 😤🕊💉🧬 | |||
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"They didn’t roll out colour television until after the moon landings as they don’t want people to know it is made of cheese - black and white tvs make it easier to hide the yellow of the cheddar." This makes perfect sense. | |||
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"I still insist Covid was a complete hoax so that the government of the world could get together, get everyone off the streets for a while, replace the batteries and cameras in all the pigeons and make them all 5G compatible. You might laugh but answer me this, how did they really find an Osama Bin Laden & Dread Pirate Roberts…. AND Who here has ever seen a baby pigeon? No one has. They don’t exist. " My daughter maintains that pigeons aren't real, they're animatronics. The REAL reason for the 2020 lockdown wasn't Covid, it was to give "them" the opportunity to change all of the pigeons' batteries! 😌 | |||
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"I still insist Covid was a complete hoax so that the government of the world could get together, get everyone off the streets for a while, replace the batteries and cameras in all the pigeons and make them all 5G compatible. You might laugh but answer me this, how did they really find an Osama Bin Laden & Dread Pirate Roberts…. AND Who here has ever seen a baby pigeon? No one has. They don’t exist. My daughter maintains that pigeons aren't real, they're animatronics. The REAL reason for the 2020 lockdown wasn't Covid, it was to give "them" the opportunity to change all of the pigeons' batteries! 😌" 🥰 She's cute 🤗.
I can't believe no one has gone to town on me yet for keeping pigeons as a kid.
I set it up for you all - it's an open goal 💁🏻♂️. | |||
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"I still insist Covid was a complete hoax so that the government of the world could get together, get everyone off the streets for a while, replace the batteries and cameras in all the pigeons and make them all 5G compatible. You might laugh but answer me this, how did they really find an Osama Bin Laden & Dread Pirate Roberts…. AND Who here has ever seen a baby pigeon? No one has. They don’t exist. My daughter maintains that pigeons aren't real, they're animatronics. The REAL reason for the 2020 lockdown wasn't Covid, it was to give "them" the opportunity to change all of the pigeons' batteries! 😌 🥰 She's cute 🤗.
I can't believe no one has gone to town on me yet for keeping pigeons as a kid.
I set it up for you all - it's an open goal 💁🏻♂️."Keeping? They’ve on/off switches mate | |||
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"I still insist Covid was a complete hoax so that the government of the world could get together, get everyone off the streets for a while, replace the batteries and cameras in all the pigeons and make them all 5G compatible. You might laugh but answer me this, how did they really find an Osama Bin Laden & Dread Pirate Roberts…. AND Who here has ever seen a baby pigeon? No one has. They don’t exist. My daughter maintains that pigeons aren't real, they're animatronics. The REAL reason for the 2020 lockdown wasn't Covid, it was to give "them" the opportunity to change all of the pigeons' batteries! 😌" It makes a lot of sense. I’ve worked on some major system updates over the years and this is exactly how you do it. Some of those pigeons have been knocking around the streets for 50+ year’s & really needed replacing, old speakers in them, terrible a-coo-sticks…. | |||
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"I still insist Covid was a complete hoax so that the government of the world could get together, get everyone off the streets for a while, replace the batteries and cameras in all the pigeons and make them all 5G compatible. You might laugh but answer me this, how did they really find an Osama Bin Laden & Dread Pirate Roberts…. AND Who here has ever seen a baby pigeon? No one has. They don’t exist. My daughter maintains that pigeons aren't real, they're animatronics. The REAL reason for the 2020 lockdown wasn't Covid, it was to give "them" the opportunity to change all of the pigeons' batteries! 😌 🥰 She's cute 🤗.
I can't believe no one has gone to town on me yet for keeping pigeons as a kid.
I set it up for you all - it's an open goal 💁🏻♂️.
Keeping? They’ve on/off switches mate "Podge did die in my arms. He was very off after that 😥. | |||
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"terrible a-coo-sticks…. " 😉 | |||
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"I still insist Covid was a complete hoax so that the government of the world could get together, get everyone off the streets for a while, replace the batteries and cameras in all the pigeons and make them all 5G compatible. You might laugh but answer me this, how did they really find an Osama Bin Laden & Dread Pirate Roberts…. AND Who here has ever seen a baby pigeon? No one has. They don’t exist. My daughter maintains that pigeons aren't real, they're animatronics. The REAL reason for the 2020 lockdown wasn't Covid, it was to give "them" the opportunity to change all of the pigeons' batteries! 😌 🥰 She's cute 🤗.
I can't believe no one has gone to town on me yet for keeping pigeons as a kid.
I set it up for you all - it's an open goal 💁🏻♂️."You’ve got off quite lightly, actually, didn’t you?. But don’t worry, we won’t forget this will come back and get you in the New Year. | |||
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"I still insist Covid was a complete hoax so that the government of the world could get together, get everyone off the streets for a while, replace the batteries and cameras in all the pigeons and make them all 5G compatible. You might laugh but answer me this, how did they really find an Osama Bin Laden & Dread Pirate Roberts…. AND Who here has ever seen a baby pigeon? No one has. They don’t exist. My daughter maintains that pigeons aren't real, they're animatronics. The REAL reason for the 2020 lockdown wasn't Covid, it was to give "them" the opportunity to change all of the pigeons' batteries! 😌 🥰 She's cute 🤗.
I can't believe no one has gone to town on me yet for keeping pigeons as a kid.
I set it up for you all - it's an open goal 💁🏻♂️.
You’ve got off quite lightly, actually, didn’t you?. But don’t worry, we won’t forget this will come back and get you in the New Year. " | |||
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"I still insist Covid was a complete hoax so that the government of the world could get together, get everyone off the streets for a while, replace the batteries and cameras in all the pigeons and make them all 5G compatible. You might laugh but answer me this, how did they really find an Osama Bin Laden & Dread Pirate Roberts…. AND Who here has ever seen a baby pigeon? No one has. They don’t exist. My daughter maintains that pigeons aren't real, they're animatronics. The REAL reason for the 2020 lockdown wasn't Covid, it was to give "them" the opportunity to change all of the pigeons' batteries! 😌 🥰 She's cute 🤗.
I can't believe no one has gone to town on me yet for keeping pigeons as a kid.
I set it up for you all - it's an open goal 💁🏻♂️.
Keeping? They’ve on/off switches mate
Podge did die in my arms.
He was very off after that 😥."Poor Podge. 😭 | |||
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"I still insist Covid was a complete hoax so that the government of the world could get together, get everyone off the streets for a while, replace the batteries and cameras in all the pigeons and make them all 5G compatible. You might laugh but answer me this, how did they really find an Osama Bin Laden & Dread Pirate Roberts…. AND Who here has ever seen a baby pigeon? No one has. They don’t exist. My daughter maintains that pigeons aren't real, they're animatronics. The REAL reason for the 2020 lockdown wasn't Covid, it was to give "them" the opportunity to change all of the pigeons' batteries! 😌 🥰 She's cute 🤗.
I can't believe no one has gone to town on me yet for keeping pigeons as a kid.
I set it up for you all - it's an open goal 💁🏻♂️.
Keeping? They’ve on/off switches mate
Podge did die in my arms.
He was very off after that 😥.
Poor Podge. 😭 "Pidge was thoroughly distraught for at least a week 😥. Then my grandad gave me a really butch Tumbler and she fell in lust. Fickle thing, pigeon love. | |||
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And Catnip for the virgin gag .
And Arthur for keeping a very good gag running across a few comments 👏👏.
But we're ALL winners 🏆, because when the lizard aliens suck out our essence every third Tuesday of the month, only our feeling of being a winner generates the nectar they came here for 💜❤️💙. | |||
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"OP, You forgot to mention Bill Gates and George Soros are funding everything in order to do something or other. " A-ha! That's just what they wanted you to think! | |||
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"Elon Musk is an alien and will be forcefully ejected from the Oval Office when they ask to see his passport." I want it to be true, just because I love your green feet. That's a cool pic ✅️✅️. | |||
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"Not that there's any official competition (coz I can't be arsed), but some corkers here already. Special shout out to John for bringing in "sheeple". No conspiracy theorist worth their salt can resist tarring everyone else as sheeple .
And Catnip for the virgin gag .
And Arthur for keeping a very good gag running across a few comments 👏👏.
But we're ALL winners 🏆, because when the lizard aliens suck out our essence every third Tuesday of the month, only our feeling of being a winner generates the nectar they came here for 💜❤️💙. "Why thank you, kind sir. What will the committee have up its sleeve in the New Year? All will be revealed....(no, not that!)......(get off me!).......(I have rights, don't you know!)......(kindly come along quietly, sir).......(silence).......... | |||
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"Not that there's any official competition (coz I can't be arsed), but some corkers here already. Special shout out to John for bringing in "sheeple". No conspiracy theorist worth their salt can resist tarring everyone else as sheeple .
And Catnip for the virgin gag .
And Arthur for keeping a very good gag running across a few comments 👏👏.
But we're ALL winners 🏆, because when the lizard aliens suck out our essence every third Tuesday of the month, only our feeling of being a winner generates the nectar they came here for 💜❤️💙.
Why thank you, kind sir. What will the committee have up its sleeve in the New Year? All will be revealed....(no, not that!)......(get off me!).......(I have rights, don't you know!)......(kindly come along quietly, sir).......(silence).........."Arthur? Aaarrrrthurrrrrrrrrrr!!! | |||
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"That it's actually cheaper to leave traffic cones everywhere pretending to be road works and local authority misappropriation of funding than to actually pay to store them somewhere " No offence, but we’re after conspiracies rather than facts. | |||
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"That is the conspiracy. Massive misappropriation of funding hidden behind conspiracy theories and misinformation. Wait till project blue book kicks in with the fourth reichsdie glockenspiel ufos 😉" That’s better. If the cones spread wi-fi and were made from dehydrated raw milk that would be perfect | |||
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"Infinite realities theory. Somewhere the moon is made of cheese & somewhere the moon is made of knob cheese. Fact "
And bumping.
Because one can never have too many cheese realities.
Even flat-earth cheese is a winner ✅️. | |||
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"Roadworks are intentionally designed to delay and slow the flow of traffic to try and encourage people to use public transport. "
Jools and the Brain are intentionally designed to delay and slow the flow of traffic on my thread to try and encourage people to use other threads instead .
xxx | |||
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"The EV cars that the government are pushing us into are actually transformers and are on standby for the e decepticon invasion " This...this I NEED to be true 💙. | |||
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"Get it off your chests before 2025 hits .
What conspiracy would you love to come true next year?
Bonus points if you proffer a completely mentalist (but plausible - plausible is vital here!) line of reasoning to back it up.
Winner gets the original AI COVID bat, made in California using nanoflesh and Neuralink."The Elon will privatise air....and water... No hang on.. Nobody would buy that would they? | |||
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