FabSwingers.com forum: For the single male visiting clubs

By *hole Nuts n Chill OP Couple
5 days ago

B’stoke

Just to have a look at dynamics of things as they are Keo attended a club as a single male and can say that it can feel isolating compared to going as a couple . Unlike couples or single women, solo men often face limited opportunities to connect, leaving them as spectators rather than participants. The lack of a partner removes the comfort and camaraderie that can ease awkward moments, amplifying feelings of exclusion. Even with confidence and respect, the experience can feel empty when interactions are scarce, leaving you questioning whether it’s worth the effort. Without someone to share it with, the excitement often gives way to loneliness.

While it can feel isolating, going solo to a club doesn’t have to stay that way. Moments of observation can transform into opportunities for genuine connection when approached with patience. The right conversations, natural confidence, and a respectful presence often draw others in over time of Lady Luck is on your side. Solo attendees who blend curiosity with openness often find their footing, discovering that even in an unfamiliar space, connections can flourish when the atmosphere feels sincere and welcoming.

For those chasing zombies - feel sorry for you in a way. 😇 I can see, including us why we avoided single guys.

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By *urreyfun2008Man
5 days ago

East Grinstead

A guy who now tries hard to avoid the herd.

After years of not clubbing atarted again last year though so far on short breaks to berlin.

Going through a hit the dance floor and just enjoy the music phase. So a nice bar for a break and water is best.

Dressing up more these days and if a party embracing the fancy dress.

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By *cotlad178Man
5 days ago

falkirk

This thread doesn't help calm nerves 🙃

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By *ecky and justCouple
5 days ago

Godalming

Just relax.

Don’t try too hard..

Don’t think that everyone wants to fuck there and then.

Do think that others (couples and single fems) are nervous as well.

Do try to make conversation.

Don’t push it if people aren’t interested.

Talk about things like you would in the pub.

Leave conversations with a nice ‘maybe see you later’ and talk to others.

Don’t follow people around, especially with your cock out.

Do assume that you won’t have sex..

Try to just enjoy chatting to people with the same mindset as you.

Always ask, no matter what.

Every time we’ve met someone like that, we’ve wanted to go further.

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By *hole Nuts n Chill OP Couple
5 days ago

B’stoke

"This thread doesn't help calm nerves 🙃 "

There is nothing I could say to calm nerves , just a shoulder from another who understands the situation 🙃

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By *hole Nuts n Chill OP Couple
5 days ago

B’stoke

"Just relax.

Don’t try too hard..

Don’t think that everyone wants to fuck there and then.

Do think that others (couples and single fems) are nervous as well.

Do try to make conversation.

Don’t push it if people aren’t interested.

Talk about things like you would in the pub.

Leave conversations with a nice ‘maybe see you later’ and talk to others.

Don’t follow people around, especially with your cock out.

Do assume that you won’t have sex..

Try to just enjoy chatting to people with the same mindset as you.

Always ask, no matter what.

Every time we’ve met someone like that, we’ve wanted to go further. "

Could have said all that but didn’t want to come across preachy. But well said.

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By *oughmanMan
5 days ago

Sunderland

This actually helps. I was thinking of going maybe at some point but just don't know if it's right.

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By *cottish guy 555Man
5 days ago

London

"Just relax.

Don’t try too hard..

Don’t think that everyone wants to fuck there and then.

Do think that others (couples and single fems) are nervous as well.

Do try to make conversation.

Don’t push it if people aren’t interested.

Talk about things like you would in the pub.

Leave conversations with a nice ‘maybe see you later’ and talk to others.

Don’t follow people around, especially with your cock out.

Do assume that you won’t have sex..

Try to just enjoy chatting to people with the same mindset as you.

Always ask, no matter what.

Every time we’ve met someone like that, we’ve wanted to go further. "

Excellent advice.

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By (user no longer on site)
5 days ago

Thanks, great tips.

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By *cottish guy 555Man
5 days ago

London

I'd just add, as I've been told by couples I've met, tell people that you would like to play with them if they are interested.

Obviously don't open with that but perhaps if the conversation has reached a natural end and you are moving on.

It's been mentioned to me on more than one occasion, mostly near the end of an evening, that people were interested in playing but didn't think I was interested as I hadn't made it known and they thought I just wanted to chat.

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By *ildTimes.Man
5 days ago

Colchester/London

Until clubs stop ripping off single guys with entrance fees double or triple that of the ladies. vetting guys by age or looks but not the women, I have no interest in paying £45 to get into a club that might be full of 'Mid' women that I wouldn't look twice at on the street, when you can pick and choose on fab for free.

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By *osey WalesMan
5 days ago

Surrey

"Until clubs stop ripping off single guys with entrance fees double or triple that of the ladies. vetting guys by age or looks but not the women, I have no interest in paying £45 to get into a club that might be full of 'Mid' women that I wouldn't look twice at on the street, when you can pick and choose on fab for free.

Wow.

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By *end1Man
5 days ago

southend on sea

What the OP didn't say was also expect a lot of the regular club going couples to be very clickie with other couples. Also clubs should limit single guys instead of thinking how much they can make.

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By *hole Nuts n Chill OP Couple
5 days ago

B’stoke

"What the OP didn't say was also expect a lot of the regular club going couples to be very clickie with other couples. Also clubs should limit single guys instead of thinking how much they can make. "

Tribal nature is seen in every walk of life , we wouldn’t paint everyone with the same brush.

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By *og-ManMan
5 days ago

somewhere

The best advice I could give a single guy going to a club is to only drink one or two beers maximum

Go with no agenda except to meet others and make some new friends

But remember if you don't ask you won't get

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By *aron Von RingsplitterMan
5 days ago

Mottram St Andrew

I can resonate with some of the opening statement OP but my experience as a single male wasn't as you described. I was welcomed, and there were plenty willing to chat. There were many that were a bit standoffish but not so much that they blanked me.

But it is very different to going as part of a couple, I'll grant you that.

But you hit the nail on the head, open-mind and respect. Go with the appreciation that it's not about you and you'll have fun, even if it doesn't lead to sexy participation. I see being a single in the lifestyle as a long game of building connections and friendships - and maybe a little fun along the way.

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By *he Silver FuxMan
5 days ago

Uttoxeter

There are couples that go to clubs to only meet other couples - and some of those couples are in close friends groups- not a clique.

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By *he Silver FuxMan
5 days ago

Uttoxeter

There are single men that do very well in a club environment - the thing they all have in common is that they are hygienic and smell pleasant, socially adept, approachable, confident, pleasant, have good banter and are fun.

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By *ildTimes.Man
5 days ago

Colchester/London

Wow."

That's what the ladies of fab say 😎

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
4 days ago

Central

Go with the expectation that it's not about that night but it's a longer term investment, a bit like starting to exercise. You might be less comfortable at times but this will wax and wane and you may be pleasantly surprised and make some great gains.

Not every night in a public is the best night ever. Clubs can be thought of as similar to pubs, that you've gone to for a break from regular life. But they may give you something great longer term.

If membership fees are high, this is why it's more essential to get your advance preparation right, to find the right club for you.

If you find sometimes you're a bit too isolated, post meets up, looking for other singles, who might benefit from company too - and would appreciate your experience.

But take on board the advice here, on engaging with others, in positive ways.

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By *oeBeansMan
4 days ago

Derby

I think it's easy to throw out the old tropes of what a so gle guy should do in a club. Be friendly, be approachable, dress well, don't have and agenda etc. etc. but I think what fails to get mentioned is that initial attraction is still an important aspect into whether a woman or couple wants to find out how friendly and approachable you are.

You can do all the things mentioned about, but if they don't even want to make eye contact with you let alone chat to you, it's very easy to question what else you could possibly be doing wrong and let it affect your confidence as a result.

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By *entleman JayMan
4 days ago

Wakefield

"What the OP didn't say was also expect a lot of the regular club going couples to be very clickie with other couples. Also clubs should limit single guys instead of thinking how much they can make.

There are couples that go to clubs to only meet other couples - and some of those couples are in close friends groups- not a clique.

Agree with this. It’s not a clique when friends meet up.

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By *ustAnotherMan
4 days ago

wherever I may roam

A nice thread OP genuinely thanks for the effort.

My couple of experiences at a club were seeing the chasing zombies and wanting NOT into that crowd, but the natural opportunity just not opening up. Had a couple of nice chats, nothing more. Not a negative experience but was definitely stressful as a single.

I'd like to go with friends sometime or somewhere away from home not worrying about awkward recognition or something

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By *on_departCouple
4 days ago

West Midlands

The chasing zombies ruin it for everyone.

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By *ecky and justCouple
4 days ago

Godalming

"The chasing zombies ruin it for everyone."

The Wanking Dead… 🙄

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By *ardcore28Man
4 days ago

glasgow

Well said my friend

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By *host63Man
4 days ago

Bedfont Feltham

This is why I no longer attend clubs.

It's too much money a waste of effort and not worth the time

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By *xstaceyxxTV/TS
4 days ago

longeaton,

I'd love to visit a few clubs but would feel awkward being a single male,maybe one day hopefully.

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By *heHookyMonsterMan
4 days ago

Liverpool

"Just to have a look at dynamics of things as they are Keo attended a club as a single male and can say that it can feel isolating compared to going as a couple . Unlike couples or single women, solo men often face limited opportunities to connect, leaving them as spectators rather than participants. The lack of a partner removes the comfort and camaraderie that can ease awkward moments, amplifying feelings of exclusion. Even with confidence and respect, the experience can feel empty when interactions are scarce, leaving you questioning whether it’s worth the effort. Without someone to share it with, the excitement often gives way to loneliness.

For those chasing zombies - feel sorry for you in a way. 😇 I can see, including us why we avoided single guys."

As a single guy I relate to all of that - including the negative parts. Being natural, making conversation and being patient all makes a difference. Not being a 'wandering/w#@£%&g dead' type helps too. Stay away from those guys as a single fella and it gets noticed for all the right reasons.

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By *heHookyMonsterMan
4 days ago

Liverpool

"Just relax.

Don’t try too hard..

Don’t think that everyone wants to fuck there and then.

Do think that others (couples and single fems) are nervous as well.

Do try to make conversation.

Don’t push it if people aren’t interested.

Talk about things like you would in the pub.

Leave conversations with a nice ‘maybe see you later’ and talk to others.

Don’t follow people around, especially with your cock out.

Do assume that you won’t have sex..

Try to just enjoy chatting to people with the same mindset as you.

Always ask, no matter what.

Every time we’ve met someone like that, we’ve wanted to go further. "

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By *heHookyMonsterMan
4 days ago

Liverpool

"I can resonate with some of the opening statement OP but my experience as a single male wasn't as you described. I was welcomed, and there were plenty willing to chat. There were many that were a bit standoffish but not so much that they blanked me.

But it is very different to going as part of a couple, I'll grant you that.

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By *heHookyMonsterMan
4 days ago

Liverpool

"There are single men that do very well in a club environment - the thing they all have in common is that they are hygienic and smell pleasant, socially adept, approachable, confident, pleasant, have good banter and are fun.

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By *heHookyMonsterMan
3 days ago

Liverpool

Wow."

Agreed with the 'Wow'.

'Mid' women???

Perfection on the outside can never be achieved while ugliness remains on the inside.

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By *ildTimes.Man
3 days ago

Colchester/London

Wow.

Agreed with the 'Wow'.

'Mid' women???

Perfection on the outside can never be achieved while ugliness remains on the inside.

Agreed! They're probably ugly on the inside too 🤷🏻‍♂️

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By *heHookyMonsterMan
3 days ago

Liverpool

Wow.

Agreed with the 'Wow'.

'Mid' women???

Perfection on the outside can never be achieved while ugliness remains on the inside.

Agreed! They're probably ugly on the inside too 🤷🏻‍♂️"

Just worked out you're a wind-up merchant, rather than a narcissist. That's a relief!

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
3 days ago

Southampton

[Removed by poster at 31/12/24 19:25:53]

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