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Self Administered Blunt Force Trauma

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By *ags73 OP   Man
1 week ago

glasgow-ish

Say..

You want to self flagellate yourself after a bout of stupidity

Something heavy and thick or comedy frying pan?

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By *ir tootMan
1 week ago

Burton-on-Trent

If I can get past the mental blocked of knoking myself out, a good ol brick.

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By *ir tootMan
1 week ago

Burton-on-Trent


"If I can get past the mental blocked of knoking myself out, a good ol brick. "
.I missed the c....

Where's the brick.

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By *ags73 OP   Man
1 week ago

glasgow-ish


"If I can get past the mental blocked of knoking myself out, a good ol brick. "

Old school and effective

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By *nomeforyourboneWoman
1 week ago

Birmingham

Nice firm bellend to the centre of the forehead.

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By *ondiego85Man
1 week ago

nottingham

A 2L water bottle, straight in the cojones

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
1 week ago

A den in the Glen

A massive prize winning marrow on a davit hoist but on the marrow are two dwarves balancing with pugel sticks like in gladiator.

As I am hitting myself they are battling away.

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By *ister_ee_1981Man
1 week ago

Sunniest Exeter...

Can't beat the classic "upturned rake"

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By *tephanjMan
1 week ago

Kettering

[Removed by poster at 29/12/24 18:32:38]

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
1 week ago

Southampton

Headbutting a wall is pretty effective

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By *tephanjMan
1 week ago

Kettering

Try running into a low hanging pipe

Like I did several years ago and I still have the dent

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By *tr8MrEMan
1 week ago

Shireoaks, Worksop

Forehead diving from 10ft into a hard hat

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By *ags73 OP   Man
1 week ago

glasgow-ish


"Headbutting a wall is pretty effective "

Yeah can take a run at it too

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
1 week ago

Southampton


"Headbutting a wall is pretty effective

Yeah can take a run at it too "

Exactly... except I'd probably just bounce off the wall on account of my boobs 🤣🤣

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By (user no longer on site)
1 week ago

A hairbrush does the job….or so I’ve heard.

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By *lynJMan
1 week ago

Morden


"If I can get past the mental blocked of knoking myself out, a good ol brick. .I missed the c....

Where's the brick. "

Or should that be "brik" 😁

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By *ools and the brainCouple
1 week ago

couple, us we him her.

Mallets mallet.

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By *ir tootMan
1 week ago

Burton-on-Trent


"If I can get past the mental blocked of knoking myself out, a good ol brick. .I missed the c....

Where's the brick.

Or should that be "brik" 😁"

I didn't screw up that time 🤣

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By *ustAGoodGirl.1Woman
1 week ago

.

A Toblerone i got for Christmas, i still can't break it to eat it 🤬

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By *ools and the brainCouple
1 week ago

couple, us we him her.


"A Toblerone i got for Christmas, i still can't break it to eat it 🤬"

Suck it

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By *ustAGoodGirl.1Woman
1 week ago

.


"A Toblerone i got for Christmas, i still can't break it to eat it 🤬

Suck it "

I can't, it's a giant one 🫣🤣

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By *ormalfornorfolkMan
1 week ago

Norwich

I genuinely walked into a door, edge on, a few weeks ago. That properly hurt, and for quite a few days afterwards too.

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By *etitesaraTV/TS
1 week ago

rochdale

Well, ive already hit myself in the face with an armchair in the past, & once knocked myself out with a chocolate orange..

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By *ags73 OP   Man
1 week ago

glasgow-ish


"Headbutting a wall is pretty effective

Yeah can take a run at it too

Exactly... except I'd probably just bounce off the wall on account of my boobs 🤣🤣"

Airbags 😂

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
1 week ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I can get this if I rush across a road

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
1 week ago

Southampton


"Headbutting a wall is pretty effective

Yeah can take a run at it too

Exactly... except I'd probably just bounce off the wall on account of my boobs 🤣🤣

Airbags 😂"

Exactly! 😂🤣🤣

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By *ermite12ukMan
1 week ago

Solihull and Brentwood

A tow bar or lamp post were my (un)preferred implements of choice.

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By *aarv80Man
1 week ago

Crumlin


"A Toblerone i got for Christmas, i still can't break it to eat it 🤬"

How are you doing it? They are designed so that you pinch the top of the triangles together and it breaks by the way... Hope this helps in your choccy quest xx

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By *eneralKenobiMan
1 week ago

North Angus

I’d just grab the rifle but I’m not that far on ffs

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By *elenaSCDTV/TS
1 week ago

Mendip

Headbutted a parked car!

D*unk?......who me?

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By *vaRose43Woman
1 week ago

Forest of Dean

A huge anvil dropped from a height Wile. E. Coyote style

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By *ertcoupleCouple
1 week ago

Hatfield

Every time the mrs goes shopping I throw myself down the stairs, less painful than looking at the bank statement 😣😣😣

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By *ags73 OP   Man
1 week ago

glasgow-ish


"A huge anvil dropped from a height Wile. E. Coyote style "

Mr Coyote certainly the master of a pratfall

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By *r TriomanMan
1 week ago

Chippenham Malmesbury area

A comedy frying pan please, preferably administered by Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer.

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By *ags73 OP   Man
1 week ago

glasgow-ish


"A comedy frying pan please, preferably administered by Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer."

With that sound effect

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By *inkygentkentMan
1 week ago

Maidstone

I dreamt I was playing badminton once. Woke up mid-swing and dropped my arm on my face

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By *ags73 OP   Man
1 week ago

glasgow-ish


"I dreamt I was playing badminton once. Woke up mid-swing and dropped my arm on my face "

Ouch.

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By *ags73 OP   Man
3 days ago

glasgow-ish

Head on the floor worked.

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By *xciter7169Man
3 days ago

The Midlands

TinaTitz's massive tits ploughed into my face,if she's up for it of course

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By *ags73 OP   Man
3 days ago

glasgow-ish

Creative but not self administered

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By *othwaysnudeMan
3 days ago

chesterfield

Personal view this thread is why I stopped paying as a member. I’m no better than anyone but really believe self harm isn’t a funny chat thread.

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By *icolasHidalgoDeCorazonMan
3 days ago

St Leonards

Deffo the frying pan.

You don't get the ongoing "doingggg" sound and comedy vibrations with the brick.

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By *eltic connectionCouple
3 days ago

Manningtree


"Personal view this thread is why I stopped paying as a member. I’m no better than anyone but really believe self harm isn’t a funny chat thread. "

We're with you on this, we had a close fab friend who committed suicide just before Christmas! Not a subject that should be joked about.

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By *ags73 OP   Man
3 days ago

glasgow-ish


"Personal view this thread is why I stopped paying as a member. I’m no better than anyone but really believe self harm isn’t a funny chat thread. "

Apologi s for offence caused

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By *ags73 OP   Man
3 days ago

glasgow-ish


"Personal view this thread is why I stopped paying as a member. I’m no better than anyone but really believe self harm isn’t a funny chat thread.

We're with you on this, we had a close fab friend who committed suicide just before Christmas! Not a subject that should be joked about. "

Apologies and I’m sorry to hear about your friend.

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By *ickleTheWonderSchlongMan
3 days ago

Ends

Something I won’t wake up from. I’m having some thoughts

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By *ags73 OP   Man
3 days ago

glasgow-ish


"Something I won’t wake up from. I’m having some thoughts "

I’ve had a stinker recently but wrong way to express it I guess.

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By *ags73 OP   Man
3 days ago

glasgow-ish


"A comedy frying pan please, preferably administered by Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer."

Doink!

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By *rilingualMan
3 days ago

Guildford

Smack your bollocks between two house bricks.

If you keep your thumbs out of the way it shouldn’t hurt.

You have not been charged for this advice.

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By *ags73 OP   Man
3 days ago

glasgow-ish


"Smack your bollocks between two house bricks.

If you keep your thumbs out of the way it shouldn’t hurt.

You have not been charged for this advice."

Oooooft sore one

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By *rilingualMan
2 days ago

Guildford


"

Oooooft sore one "

You could just try and sit on them, this way you save on the cost of the bricks.

I sat on mine last week and I did a weep.

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By *ags73 OP   Man
2 days ago

glasgow-ish


"

Oooooft sore one

You could just try and sit on them, this way you save on the cost of the bricks.

I sat on mine last week and I did a weep."

oooft

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