FabSwingers.com forum: Self Administered Blunt Force Trauma

By *ags73 OP Man
21 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

Say..

You want to self flagellate yourself after a bout of stupidity

Something heavy and thick or comedy frying pan?

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By *ir tootMan
21 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent

If I can get past the mental blocked of knoking myself out, a good ol brick.

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By *ir tootMan
21 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent

"If I can get past the mental blocked of knoking myself out, a good ol brick.

"
.I missed the c....

Where's the brick.

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By *ags73 OP Man
21 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

"If I can get past the mental blocked of knoking myself out, a good ol brick.

Old school and effective

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By (user no longer on site)
21 weeks ago

Nice firm bellend to the centre of the forehead.

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By *ondiego85Man
21 weeks ago

nottingham

A 2L water bottle, straight in the cojones

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
21 weeks ago

A den in the Glen

A massive prize winning marrow on a davit hoist but on the marrow are two dwarves balancing with pugel sticks like in gladiator.

As I am hitting myself they are battling away.

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By *ister_ee_1981Man
21 weeks ago

Costa Del Exeter

Can't beat the classic "upturned rake"

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By *tephanjMan
21 weeks ago

Kettering

[Removed by poster at 29/12/24 18:32:38]

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
21 weeks ago

The bottom of the River Ankh

Headbutting a wall is pretty effective

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By *tephanjMan
21 weeks ago

Kettering

Try running into a low hanging pipe

Like I did several years ago and I still have the dent

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By *tr8MrEMan
21 weeks ago

somewhere near Sheffield

Forehead diving from 10ft into a hard hat

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By *ags73 OP Man
21 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

"Headbutting a wall is pretty effective "

Yeah can take a run at it too

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
21 weeks ago

The bottom of the River Ankh

"Headbutting a wall is pretty effective

Yeah can take a run at it too "

Exactly... except I'd probably just bounce off the wall on account of my boobs 🤣🤣

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By (user no longer on site)
21 weeks ago

A hairbrush does the job….or so I’ve heard.

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By *lynJMan
21 weeks ago

Morden

"If I can get past the mental blocked of knoking myself out, a good ol brick.

.I missed the c....

Where's the brick.

Or should that be "brik" 😁

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By *ools and the brainCouple
21 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.

Mallets mallet.

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By *ir tootMan
21 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent

"If I can get past the mental blocked of knoking myself out, a good ol brick.

.I missed the c....

Where's the brick.

Or should that be "brik" 😁"

I didn't screw up that time 🤣

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By (user no longer on site)
21 weeks ago

A Toblerone i got for Christmas, i still can't break it to eat it 🤬

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By *ools and the brainCouple
21 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.

"A Toblerone i got for Christmas, i still can't break it to eat it 🤬"

Suck it

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By (user no longer on site)
21 weeks ago

"A Toblerone i got for Christmas, i still can't break it to eat it 🤬

Suck it

I can't, it's a giant one 🫣🤣

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By *ormalfornorfolkMan
21 weeks ago

Norwich

I genuinely walked into a door, edge on, a few weeks ago. That properly hurt, and for quite a few days afterwards too.

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By *etitesaraTV/TS
21 weeks ago

rochdale

Well, ive already hit myself in the face with an armchair in the past, & once knocked myself out with a chocolate orange..

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By *ags73 OP Man
21 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

"Headbutting a wall is pretty effective

Yeah can take a run at it too

Exactly... except I'd probably just bounce off the wall on account of my boobs 🤣🤣"

Airbags 😂

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
21 weeks ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I can get this if I rush across a road

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
21 weeks ago

The bottom of the River Ankh

"Headbutting a wall is pretty effective

Yeah can take a run at it too

Exactly... except I'd probably just bounce off the wall on account of my boobs 🤣🤣

Airbags 😂"
Exactly! 😂🤣🤣

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By *ermite12ukMan
21 weeks ago

Solihull and Romford

A tow bar or lamp post were my (un)preferred implements of choice.

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By *aarv80Man
21 weeks ago

Crumlin

"A Toblerone i got for Christmas, i still can't break it to eat it 🤬"

How are you doing it? They are designed so that you pinch the top of the triangles together and it breaks by the way... Hope this helps in your choccy quest xx

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By *eneralKenobiMan
21 weeks ago

North Angus

I’d just grab the rifle but I’m not that far on ffs

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By *elenaSCDTV/TS
21 weeks ago

Mendip

Headbutted a parked car!

D*unk?......who me?

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By *vaRoseWoman
21 weeks ago

Ankh-Morpork

A huge anvil dropped from a height Wile. E. Coyote style

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By *ertcoupleCouple
21 weeks ago

Hatfield

Every time the mrs goes shopping I throw myself down the stairs, less painful than looking at the bank statement 😣😣😣

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By *ags73 OP Man
21 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

"A huge anvil dropped from a height Wile. E. Coyote style "

Mr Coyote certainly the master of a pratfall

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By *r TriomanMan
21 weeks ago

Somewhere Southwest

A comedy frying pan please, preferably administered by Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer.

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By *ags73 OP Man
21 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

"A comedy frying pan please, preferably administered by Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer."

With that sound effect

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By *andskinkycouplekentMan
21 weeks ago

Maidstone

I dreamt I was playing badminton once. Woke up mid-swing and dropped my arm on my face

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By *ags73 OP Man
21 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

"I dreamt I was playing badminton once. Woke up mid-swing and dropped my arm on my face

Ouch.

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By *ags73 OP Man
21 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

Head on the floor worked.

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By *xciter7169Man
21 weeks ago

The Midlands

TinaTitz's massive tits ploughed into my face,if she's up for it of course

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By *ags73 OP Man
21 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

Creative but not self administered

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By *othwaysnudeMan
21 weeks ago

branpton

Personal view this thread is why I stopped paying as a member. I’m no better than anyone but really believe self harm isn’t a funny chat thread.

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By *icky KlungespeareMan
21 weeks ago

St Leonards

Deffo the frying pan.

You don't get the ongoing "doingggg" sound and comedy vibrations with the brick.

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By *eltic connectionCouple
21 weeks ago

Manningtree

"Personal view this thread is why I stopped paying as a member. I’m no better than anyone but really believe self harm isn’t a funny chat thread. "

We're with you on this, we had a close fab friend who committed suicide just before Christmas! Not a subject that should be joked about.

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By *ags73 OP Man
21 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

"Personal view this thread is why I stopped paying as a member. I’m no better than anyone but really believe self harm isn’t a funny chat thread. "

Apologi s for offence caused

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By *ags73 OP Man
21 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

"Personal view this thread is why I stopped paying as a member. I’m no better than anyone but really believe self harm isn’t a funny chat thread.

We're with you on this, we had a close fab friend who committed suicide just before Christmas! Not a subject that should be joked about. "

Apologies and I’m sorry to hear about your friend.

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By (user no longer on site)
21 weeks ago

Something I won’t wake up from. I’m having some thoughts

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By *ags73 OP Man
21 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

"Something I won’t wake up from. I’m having some thoughts

I’ve had a stinker recently but wrong way to express it I guess.

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By *ags73 OP Man
21 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

"A comedy frying pan please, preferably administered by Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer."

Doink!

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By *rilingualMan
21 weeks ago

Guildford

Smack your bollocks between two house bricks.

If you keep your thumbs out of the way it shouldn’t hurt.

You have not been charged for this advice.

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By *ags73 OP Man
21 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

"Smack your bollocks between two house bricks.

If you keep your thumbs out of the way it shouldn’t hurt.

You have not been charged for this advice."

Oooooft sore one

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By *rilingualMan
20 weeks ago

Guildford

Oooooft sore one "

You could just try and sit on them, this way you save on the cost of the bricks.

I sat on mine last week and I did a weep.

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By *ags73 OP Man
20 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

Oooooft sore one

You could just try and sit on them, this way you save on the cost of the bricks.

I sat on mine last week and I did a weep."
oooft

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