FabSwingers.com forum: Serious Question

By *eesside Anubis OP Man
2 weeks ago

North East

How do people cope if they are having negative thoughts.

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By *iker JackMan
2 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

Depends if they are re occurring and the cause of them

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By *oandstephCouple
2 weeks ago

Bradford

Go outside away from the kids and wife, theyre usually the cause 😂no only kidding

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By *ustAnotherMan
2 weeks ago

Mids

Find a hobby, something that can pull you out of circular thinking.

Get to the root of what's causing the negativity

Talk to someone about it

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By *ir tootMan
2 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent

Very badly, especially recently.

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By *midnight-Woman
2 weeks ago

...

"How do people cope if they are having negative thoughts. "

Negative thoughts that are getting you down a little, or more serious, such as wanting to harm yourself?

If the latter please seek help ASAP through MIND or The Samaritans

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By *rixie_BlondeWoman
2 weeks ago

London (She/Her)

I’ve never found a successful way to manage them, but my sister says starting to take adhd meds means that though the negative thoughts are still there they aren’t as busy/repetitive/present in her head

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By *adagastMan
2 weeks ago

Rotherham

"How do people cope if they are having negative thoughts. "

Talk to someone you really trust and be prepared to listen to their advice. Proper counselling also helps.

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
2 weeks ago

Southampton

"How do people cope if they are having negative thoughts. "

I would suggest cognitive behavioural therapy.. really good at helping developing techniques for getting out of the cycle of negative thoughts, try and distract yourself etc, talk to people xx

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
2 weeks ago

Southampton

"Very badly, especially recently.

Hugs xx

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By *eesside Anubis OP Man
2 weeks ago

North East

It's constant cycle of feeling I'm not good enough or handsome

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By *iker JackMan
2 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

Ah okay. In what regard?

On here?

In general?

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By *midnight-Woman
2 weeks ago

...

"It's constant cycle of feeling I'm not good enough or handsome "

So then you have to break the cycle -comparison is the thief of Joy.

Action no.1: stop comparing yourself to others -if family are doing the comparison ask them to stop.

Choose to do something different and choose (create)happiness, or choose to continue behaviour and choose to remain unhappy. Only you can decide

Find inner contentment and you will increase your confidence

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By *eesside Anubis OP Man
2 weeks ago

North East

"Ah okay. In what regard?

On here?

In general?"
In everyway ive suffered some pretty serious events in my life.

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By *eesside Anubis OP Man
2 weeks ago

North East

"It's constant cycle of feeling I'm not good enough or handsome

So then you have to break the cycle -comparison is the thief of Joy.

Action no.1: stop comparing yourself to others -if family are doing the comparison ask them to stop. Thank you

Choose to do something different and choose (create)happiness, or choose to continue behaviour and choose to remain unhappy. Only you can decide

Find inner contentment and you will increase your confidence

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By *eesside Anubis OP Man
2 weeks ago

North East

Thank you all

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By *aron Von RingsplitterMan
2 weeks ago

Mottram St Andrew

Negative seems a bit vague...

Sometimes I'm just in a bad mood so take myself off for a walk away from people. Other times I'm plagued with self-doubt so read or listen to personal development books/podcasts...

If the thoughts are on the darker side of negative then you have to start reminding yourself who needs you, and whose life would be a whole lot worse or harder without you in it.

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By *iker JackMan
2 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

"It's constant cycle of feeling I'm not good enough or handsome "

I may sound harsh but it’s not meaning to

You’ve been on here 7 weeks and had 2 successful meets.

Many many men would love that

Your green arrow shows you have asked advice at least twice before

The reality is what is your expectation on here?

That everyone wants to meet and message each other?

That every meet will end up in sex?

That there will always be an attraction?

Use the site as a “tool” to aid anything but don’t see it as the primary way to do it

MORE importantly look after you and your mental health. Look for local men’s groups. Andy’s mental health for men is amazing

I wish you all the best

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By *aron Von RingsplitterMan
2 weeks ago

Mottram St Andrew

"It's constant cycle of feeling I'm not good enough or handsome "

You are good enough... I don't need to know you or your circumstances to know that. We're all good enough. You may have made mistakes but you've also got an awful lot right too.

I've forever put myself on an impossible pedestal and berated myself when I have underachieved. It's a difficult cycle to break so I suggest getting around people that want you to be your best and will recognise when you're ahead of where you think you are.

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By *eesside Anubis OP Man
2 weeks ago

North East

"It's constant cycle of feeling I'm not good enough or handsome

I may sound harsh but it’s not meaning to

You’ve been on here 7 weeks and had 2 successful meets.

Many many men would love that

Your green arrow shows you have asked advice at least twice before

The reality is what is your expectation on here?

That everyone wants to meet and message each other?

That every meet will end up in sex?

That there will always be an attraction?

Use the site as a “tool” to aid anything but don’t see it as the primary way to do it

MORE importantly look after you and your mental health. Look for local men’s groups. Andy’s mental health for men is amazing

I wish you all the best "
I've had other accounts in the past but never got even spoken too. It's in life mostly

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By *ansoffateMan
2 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

Depends greatly on their nature and what emotional state they are relating to.

It all comes down to emotional regulation for me, the thoughts are a symptom, rather than a cause. Accepting that I am experiencing a difficult emotion and accepting it (sitting with it) has been th best method for me. It becomes less unsettling over time. Sometimes it can help me to see the things I need to change in my life.

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By *eesside Anubis OP Man
2 weeks ago

North East

Thank you all for listening

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By *porty_and_NaughtyCouple
2 weeks ago

Swansea

I never used to get like that and then had a breakdown associated with the end of my marriage. Now, if I'm tired/rundown/stressed etc those same thoughts come back. I recognise them now for what they are, a sign I'm in need of test and self care and have learnt that once I realise this they become manageable.

When it first happened it was hell, I used to make an effort to note the good times - because no matter how bad your head tells you life is, these still exist. Something will make you laugh, you'll become engrossed in done task and not think shit thoughts for ages etc. I made an effort to recall these even when my mind was telling me that was pointless, they didn't count , nothing was worth it etc etc. eventually, I learnt to recognise when the blackness was coming on and ride it out while I found something to distract me.

I hope you find your way through OP.

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
2 weeks ago

Herts/Beds/Lomdon

Question, OP. You don’t need to answer of course.

Are these thoughts

you ruminating on things you are unhappy about?

Intrusive negative thinking which interrupts whatever else you are thinking about at the time?

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By *egoMan
2 weeks ago

Preston

Walk in nature or wank.

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By *orruptionandliesMan
2 weeks ago

leeds

Running has really helped me recently

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By *aron Von RingsplitterMan
2 weeks ago

Mottram St Andrew

"Walk in nature or wank. "

Or wank in nature... I'm sure it's a thing.

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By *undee2Man
2 weeks ago

Dundee

"How do people cope if they are having negative thoughts. "

https://andysmanclub.co.uk/

Don't suffer in silence nor isolation. There are good people out there who can help.

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By *hunky GentMan
2 weeks ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"How do people cope if they are having negative thoughts. "

OP- please seek advice from your doctor.

The best medical help it there.

Take that first step and you won't regret it.

Hugs.

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By *nkymikeyMan
2 weeks ago

Andover

When I feel down or negative I let it be as it part of me.

I have to feel this to be whole and I use it to power myself to become better.

When I'm at my lowest is where I grow the most.

I have to be uncomfortable to move forward.

When I happy and take my life for granted I stay still and die.

I have train my mind to use every hurt and pain as fuel.

How my ex treated me was disgusting but I used that to go back the gym and become who I am now to say fuck you.

Let every bit of you feel everything, even how uncomfortable it is and give it a time limit and once your done and time up you put it ot bed and move on.

Take a lot of patience and a shit load of hurt but you're get there

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By *nkymikeyMan
2 weeks ago

Andover

Ps how you feel now, won't be how you feel tomorrow or in a few days time

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
2 weeks ago

Horsham

I play on my mobile, but that then brings up its own problems of playing too much on it.

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By *riar BelisseWoman
2 weeks ago

Delightful Bliss

I meditate. Using wave sounds, deep breathing, flow out with the negative and in with the positive.

If it's a bad anxiety spiral I go to a beach and spend time readjusting my mindset.

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By *apio51Man
2 weeks ago

Edinburgh ish

Speak to someone you trust. Over the years I have spoken to many people having issues and I have been to few dark places myself. Most of the time, I found, the brain is your own worst enemy that tends to over exaggerate the problems you are having without leaving room for rationalisation.

When you open up and to speak to someone that first validates your feelings (probably best not open up to Dave at the Dog and Duck after he has had a couple - or to anyone else that chins it off with a “it will be all right mate”) they back and forth conversation will result in a more balanced view of the problem (rationalisation) followed by a “plan” on a way out.

I’ve found, almost always, people who are having issues 1) cannot see wood for trees and 2) being to hard on themselves.

But I agree that if it’s seriously in danger of causing you harm, seek professional help ASAP…perhaps starting with more immediate action such as giving Samaritans a phone.

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By *weetkitten65Woman
1 week ago

Halifax

Challenge it with a positive one.

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By *ai Hard 2 - Dai HarderMan
1 week ago

Manchester / Cardiff

I'm too d*unk to go into detail rightnow , but have a read about

E+R=O. Helps me try to keep positive

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By *umagain58Man
1 week ago

London

Don’t rely on these forums as will think others having too much fun. Speak to friends if you can. Good luck

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By * o h nMan
1 week ago

Manchester

There's a charity called andysmanclub, heard a talk about them a couple of mouths ago, fantastic support offered, group and online support, think they have a number you can call as well, for men and their families, a quick google search will give you the info needed

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