FabSwingers.com forum: Can people change from bad to good?

By *hagTonight OP Man
2 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.

I was watching a christmas carol scrooge with the actor patrick stewart and I like the christmas message they gave that you can change yourself if you are bad to good, whats your view? I belive you can do it if the person really wants too

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By *avexxMan
2 weeks ago

cheshire

i love scrooge my fav is alastair sim... answer to your question op... yes it can happen

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By *oinerbillMan
2 weeks ago

warrington

[Removed by poster at 25/12/24 09:10:16]

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
2 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

I think if someone truly acknowledges their flaws and actively wants to be better then it is possible.

I think if they're doing it out of guilt or obligation to or for someone else, it's only ever going to be a performance piece for as long as it's needed 💜

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By *ark742024Man
2 weeks ago

Cheshire

Scrooge is a misunderstood character - his approach to life is based on a fear of poverty. Poverty in those days meant death as there was no safety net

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
2 weeks ago

Herts/Beds/Lomdon

No one is born bad it’s a conscious choice to be so. Being good is then also a choice. But it doesn’t expiate the choice to be bad or its consequences.

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By *nkymikeyMan
2 weeks ago

Andover

Depends on if you acknowledge that the behaviour is wrong.

To grow you have to look inwards and except 100% responsibility for your action and learn from them.

I have hurt people in my past.

I take full responsibility for the hurt I caused, I'm working hard to never repeat that behaviour.

Massive step change was coming to peace with my shadow.

What a dark rabbit hole this is

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By *vonne5exMan
2 weeks ago

Doncaster

Yes

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By *antasdeerideMan
2 weeks ago

winfrith

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By *ildo_swagginsthe3rdWoman
2 weeks ago

Wales

Yes

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By *antasdeerideMan
2 weeks ago

winfrith

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By *oppet22TV/TS
2 weeks ago

huddersfield

Depends on why they where bad in 1st place and life changes

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By *atte Lover 82Man
2 weeks ago

BERWICK-UPON-TWEED

"I think if someone truly acknowledges their flaws and actively wants to be better then it is possible.

I think if they're doing it out of guilt or obligation to or for someone else, it's only ever going to be a performance piece for as long as it's needed 💜"

This 100%

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By *ools and the brainCouple
2 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.

Yes of course they can .

Obviously bad and good is open to interpretation based on one's view.

But being bad and being evil are quite different.

As humans we all have the ability to change for good or bad.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
2 weeks ago

Reading

Of course people can change.

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By *haron1701ETV/TS
2 weeks ago

Southport

Dont know abt bad to good, but unfortunately been on receiving end of someone close changing from very good to downright bloody evil...

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By *aron Von RingsplitterMan
2 weeks ago

Mottram St Andrew

Of course, people can change if they want to. We change all the time but mostly it's unconcious. The trick is to grow consciously.

But the perception and preconception others have about them won't necessarily change at the same time.

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By *ourtney CocksWoman
2 weeks ago

Cardiff

I believe a person can try to change but sooner or later the mask will slip & the persons bad side will show up again

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By *hagTonight OP Man
2 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.

[Removed by poster at 25/12/24 11:57:42]

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By *hagTonight OP Man
2 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.

"i love scrooge my fav is alastair sim... answer to your question op... yes it can happen"
That is good. I also like scrooge, yes, it can happen too

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By *lym4realCouple
2 weeks ago

plymouth

People can and do change but then most people who are just bad etc etc know they are and just enjoy being utter twunts it seems but then we all have been bit of twunt in our lifes we reckon ? and reason we have to have laws/regulations though ? as our history teaches us relying on some to do what's best for the majority and not the small minority ? has hardly ever worked out well ? xxx

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By *ucka39Man
2 weeks ago

Newcastle

Sure they can just as much as from good to bad. It's a learning curve

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By *ack688Man
2 weeks ago

abruzzo Italy (and UK)

Most people are the heroes of their own stories and very few people consider themselves to be bad, they have reasons for their actions that seem justifiable to themselves and often believe themselves to be misunderstood if others see them in a bad way.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
2 weeks ago

Leeds

I think people can change but the change has to be done because they want to change, they acknowledge previous behavior and make a conscious effort not to repeat it.

I think none of us can say we've always been the best person we can be.

Mrs.

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By *aryportmeatMan
2 weeks ago

Whitehaven

Worked for Earl Hickey, could work for anyone

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By *oxy jWoman
2 weeks ago

taunton somerset

yes and no ... some people simply will never change and some will

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
2 weeks ago

Central

Yes

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By *ustAGoodGirl.1Woman
2 weeks ago

"Some" people can change, others haven't got a clue how too

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By *antasdeerideMan
2 weeks ago

winfrith

No a bad person has bad in them you can't take it back ,they've done bad things that they might regret but they did them and they could do them again .Have you seen Shawshank redemption?

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
2 weeks ago

BRIDPORT

I’m always good

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By *ansoffateMan
2 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

I think there's very few people who are essentially all bad or good. Good people sometimes behave badly and vice versa.

I think people can develop beliefs about the world, society or human nature based on their experiences and this affects how they behave towards others.

e.g. I believe we live in a consumerist culture that alienates us and is environmentally unstable. So when someone tries to upsell me something, I have a 'bad' reaction on a good day that's probably a sarcastic retort on a bad day I may tell them to fuck off, if they don't take the hint.

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By *porty_and_NaughtyCouple
2 weeks ago

Swansea

People do stuff because it makes them feel good. It's why we eat, have sex, love our kids, give to charity, steal, kill, everything. Changing what you do is simply a case of changing what makes you feel good. If someone or something can influence this then a person's behaviour will change.

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By *hagTonight OP Man
2 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.

"I think if someone truly acknowledges their flaws and actively wants to be better then it is possible.

I think if they're doing it out of guilt or obligation to or for someone else, it's only ever going to be a performance piece for as long as it's needed 💜"
Hi _reytothefairies, yes, you are right there, if they truly acknowledges their flaws actively, then it is possible too

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By *sleWightCoupleCouple
2 weeks ago

Ryde

I was a really unstable, nasty, borderline-psychotic bastard before I met my wife, and I changed completely. It helps that she's the most calming person in the world.

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By *a LunaWoman
2 weeks ago

South Wales

Yes they can. If they want to.

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By *aptain Caveman41Man
2 weeks ago

Home

I hope so

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By *ools and the brainCouple
2 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.

"Worked for Earl Hickey, could work for anyone "

Mmmmm Joy, white trailer trash

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By *hagTonight OP Man
2 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.

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By *mf123Man
2 weeks ago

with one foot out the door

Good or bad is a point of view people can change thats what learning is problem is if people are unable to learn

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By *ags73Man
2 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

In whose perception?

Perception is Reality.

In past I often didn’t care how I came across to others, I knew I wasn’t a people person and I went with who I was, got on with those I could, left alone those I didn’t.

Heard many things and you can only be as black as you’re painted. Some stories weren’t true, some were.

Those that knew me, knew I had my friends back and I could be trusted and I cared. Those that didn’t, I didn’t care what they thought.

After what happened, I softened a bit, I cared a bit more how about how I came across and I try a bit harder with people, even those I don’t think I’ll get on with.

To answer the OP, how would you know if someone is bad or good?

At best it’s your perception of them, there’s gonna be loads you’ll never know.

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By *asterfulsoulMan
2 weeks ago

Manchester

People are the sum of their acts. You can choose to do good acts, and stop doing bad acts, and at some point that will tip you over to being an, overall, good person.

Some acts, there is no coming back from. And at some point, you run out of time. Apologies don't matter, absolution doesn't matter. All that matters is what you've done.

So, yes, some people can.

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By (user no longer on site)
2 weeks ago

Most people can't or don't want to change. A person's personality is who they are and though some can manage their personality they are who they are no matter what.

Anyone that has gone through any type of recovery program will always say they are a recovering ......

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By *ags73Man
2 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

"Most people can't or don't want to change. A person's personality is who they are and though some can manage their personality they are who they are no matter what.

Anyone that has gone through any type of recovery program will always say they are a recovering ...... "

It’s like smoking. Can’t say I’m an non smoker but it’s been 15 or so years..

So it would appear to others, but I know myself I’d crumble if I did

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
2 weeks ago

Glasgow / London

I broke a thousand hearts,

Before I met you.

I’ll break a thousand more, baby,

Before I am through.

I wanna be yours, pretty baby,

Yours and yours alone,

I’m here to tell ya, honey,

That I’m bad to the bone.

B-b-b-b-b-b-b-bad,

Bad to the bone.

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By *vilwizardnibMan
2 weeks ago

yeovil

Of course, just as people can change from good to bad or from apathetic to mildly indifferent.

The real question is who sets the meter?

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By *vaRose43Woman
2 weeks ago

Forest of Dean

Yes people can change.

However I think it’s important to understand that those they’ve hurt are under no obligation to forgive, acknowledge or interact in any way with them.

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By *cott14Man
2 weeks ago

Essex & SW Exeter/Taunton

Anyone can effect change , all depends on the want

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By *hagTonight OP Man
2 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.

"No one is born bad it’s a conscious choice to be so. Being good is then also a choice. But it doesn’t expiate the choice to be bad or its consequences."
Yes, it is a conscious choice too

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
2 weeks ago

East Sussex

I really don't know Shag. I'd like to think people can change but sometimes I reckon that others just give up on asking or suggesting that they do, accept the badness and stop caring, this gives the impression that change has occured.

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By (user no longer on site)
2 weeks ago

Some can.

Some are just destined to be cunts all their life.

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By *aitonelMan
2 weeks ago

Away for Christmas

"Some can.

Some are just destined to be cunts all their life.

🤔

Ta da!

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By *nomeforyourboneWoman
2 weeks ago

Birmingham

Good and bad are subjective, when we like or dislike someone it's because their actions, morals and values don't align with ours so ultimately we become judge and jury. If you can separate personal feelings, it's important to understand that everyone is a product of their environment so whilst I don't excuse their behaviour, there's a reason for it. I think we owe each other understanding, compassion and the chance to change.. its a personal choice which people we have in our lives but that's the least we can do for each other.

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By *appytochatMan
2 weeks ago

Deep in the New Forest

If you put a rose in an asshole it doesn't become a vase. It's still an asshole.

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By *ittle Miss TinkerbellWoman
2 weeks ago

your head

Bad, yes. People make mistakes. Sick, twisted and evil, not a fucking chance. Really depends on the person.

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By *ittle Miss TinkerbellWoman
2 weeks ago

your head

"If you put a rose in an asshole it doesn't become a vase. It's still an asshole. "

Might smell nice though

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By *ildmanYorksMan
2 weeks ago

Doncaster & Bembridge

"I was a really unstable, nasty, borderline-psychotic bastard before I met my wife, and I changed completely. It helps that she's the most calming person in the world.

Calming? She gives me the raging horn!!!!

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By *hagTonight OP Man
1 week ago

From the land of haribos.

"I really don't know Shag. I'd like to think people can change but sometimes I reckon that others just give up on asking or suggesting that they do, accept the badness and stop caring, this gives the impression that change has occured. "
Hi nicecouple, yes, you are right there. I also think that people can change too

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By *929Man
1 week ago

bedlington

From what I’ve seen no I’m not saying this applies to all just stating my experience, everyone I know who’s a shitbag has always been a shitbag and will likley always be. I think our personality and values are shaped and instilled in us at an early age and more or less remain our entire lives

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By *hagTonight OP Man
1 week ago

From the land of haribos.

"Yes people can change.

However I think it’s important to understand that those they’ve hurt are under no obligation to forgive, acknowledge or interact in any way with them. "
Hi eva, yes, you are right there, people can change too

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