FabSwingers.com forum: You have been given an elephant. You can't give it away or sell it

By (user no longer on site) OP
31 weeks ago

What are you going to do with the elephant

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
31 weeks ago

The bottom of the River Ankh

How big is the elephant? Is it a real elephant???

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By *exyScientistsCouple
31 weeks ago

Castlebar

I hope it's s baby. They are soooo cute 😍

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By *exxyyDy11Man
31 weeks ago

North West

I'm going to do a Hannibal and take the Elephant over the Alps

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By (user no longer on site)
31 weeks ago

[Removed by poster at 23/12/24 19:02:37]

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By *ewdtenantMan
31 weeks ago

West Sheffield

Take it with me everywhere and see if anyone dare mention it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
31 weeks ago

"How big is the elephant? Is it a real elephant???"
a real one yes. Got to take it s erious

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By *ai Hard 2 - Dai HarderMan
31 weeks ago

Manchester / Cardiff

Paint its feet yellow and hide it upside-down in a bowl of custard

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By *orthern StarsCouple
31 weeks ago

Durham

[Removed by poster at 23/12/24 19:06:07]

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By *ewdtenantMan
31 weeks ago

West Sheffield

Practice climbing onto its back via its back legs, avoiding pulling on it's tail, so I can top out successfully when rock climbing on rounded gritstone crags.

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By *ewdtenantMan
31 weeks ago

West Sheffield

"Practice climbing onto its back via its back legs, avoiding pulling on it's tail, so I can top out successfully when rock climbing on rounded gritstone crags. "

*its, dammit

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
31 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Is it a flying elephant?

Like Dumbo?

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By *ark-stealthMan
31 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

Put it in a room and sit back and see if anybody notices it !lol 😂 🐘

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By *exxyyDy11Man
31 weeks ago

North West

"Put it in a room and sit back and see if anybody notices it !lol 😂 🐘"

That made me laugh 😂

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By (user no longer on site) OP
31 weeks ago

"Is it a flying elephant?

Like Dumbo? "
Obi if you want it to be it can be

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By (user no longer on site)
31 weeks ago

Sick I love elephants. Got to feed and wash one in Thailand they're amazing animals

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
31 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Is it a flying elephant?

Like Dumbo? Obi if you want it to be it can be

Oh epic.

In that case I'll take it for a fly by over a certain house and hope it shits like a giant pigeon.

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By *ags73Man
31 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

Excellent for taking to a city centre and shitting on cars

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By (user no longer on site) OP
31 weeks ago

"Is it a flying elephant?

Like Dumbo? Obi if you want it to be it can be

Oh epic.

In that case I'll take it for a fly by over a certain house and hope it shits like a giant pigeon. "
can you share the certain house

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
31 weeks ago

Manchester-ish

Put it in the fridge of course.

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By *exySenseiCouple
31 weeks ago

"Take it with me everywhere and see if anyone dare mention it. "

Will you put it in a room tho and see if anyone mentions it?

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By *issYeuxBleusWoman
31 weeks ago

My boudoir - S Wales

Pass it a paint brush and ask it to paint my 13ft high ceilings. I’ll give it a carrot for its hard work.

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By *ffervescentMan
31 weeks ago

winfrith

"What are you going to do with the elephant

"
Hide it in the bathroom .

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By (user no longer on site)
31 weeks ago

[Removed by poster at 23/12/24 20:02:49]

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By (user no longer on site)
31 weeks ago

THIS SAID ELEPHANT

CAN IT PLAY THE PIANO

IF SO GREAT

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
31 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Is it a flying elephant?

Like Dumbo? Obi if you want it to be it can be

Oh epic.

In that case I'll take it for a fly by over a certain house and hope it shits like a giant pigeon. can you share the certain house

Of course.

.....not.

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By *im54Man
31 weeks ago

The Port

Eat it.. one bite at a time

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By *a1970Man
31 weeks ago

East cork

Take down the world

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By (user no longer on site)
31 weeks ago

But a mouse and send the rumour is true

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By *seYou267Man
31 weeks ago

Coventry

"What are you going to do with the elephant

"
I’d tell everyone on fab and women would flock to meet the elephant ride the elephant and I’d eventually seduce them for a evening of naughty fab fun

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By *oxy-RedWoman
31 weeks ago

pink panther territory

Il have it for Christmas Dinner,be a change from Turkey

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By *ermite12ukMan
31 weeks ago

Solihull and Romford

I'd paint it white and place it in my living room.

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By *aitonelMan
31 weeks ago

Liverpool

"But a mouse and send the rumour is true "

It's sort of true. Are they scared of mice particularly? No. But they are easily startled so if a mouse appeared suddenly the elephant may freak out.

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By *ansoffateMan
31 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

Has anyone eaten elephant? How does it taste?

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By *ormalfornorfolkMan
31 weeks ago

Norwich

Buy myself an enormous freezer. Like the one Rocky trained in.

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By *iaisonseekerMan
31 weeks ago

Liverpool

I seem to recall Bart Simpson charging neighbourhood kids for rides when he acquired Stampy so that'll do for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
31 weeks ago

Find it a home where it could be a happy elephant doing happy elephant things

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By *ellhungvweMan
31 weeks ago

Cheltenham

Use it as a notepad - then I will never forget anything.

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By *hav02Man
31 weeks ago

Glasgow/London

Ah, with great elephants come great wisdom.

Or, at least a more eco-friendly way to commute

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By *urious249Man
31 weeks ago

Newry

Put it in the middle of the room and ask people are they going to ignore it

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By *ad NannaWoman
31 weeks ago

East London

"Put it in a room and sit back and see if anybody notices it !lol 😂 🐘"

Good jokes

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By *ad NannaWoman
31 weeks ago

East London

I'd loan it to a safari park.

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By (user no longer on site)
31 weeks ago

Rent it out.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
31 weeks ago

Crumpet Castle

I would ask the elephant what it needed and where it wanted to be

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
31 weeks ago

Central

It needs to be with its kin, in its natural environment, so I'd get it there

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By *rixie_BlondeWoman
31 weeks ago

London (She/Her)

Is it African or Asian? African elephants are super violent whereas Asian elephants are trainable

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By *ambs MikeMan
31 weeks ago

Cambridge

"I'm going to do a Hannibal and take the Elephant over the Alps "

Completely agree. Plenty of stops for fruit and veg but ride it into Rome. My first trip to Italy

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By (user no longer on site) OP
31 weeks ago

"Is it African or Asian? African elephants are super violent whereas Asian elephants are trainable "
Asian I'm led to believe .

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By (user no longer on site)
31 weeks ago

I will start a Zoo with the elephant 🐘

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By (user no longer on site)
31 weeks ago

I’m not sure, can you eat elephant? Asking for a mate…

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By (user no longer on site)
31 weeks ago

"Is it African or Asian? African elephants are super violent whereas Asian elephants are trainable "

African elephants have more playful body language.

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By *rAitchMan
31 weeks ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

Paint its toenails red and hide it in a cherry tree.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
31 weeks ago

East Sussex

I'd take it to the zoo every day and let it sleep over...

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By *ripfillMan
31 weeks ago

Paris, New York, Hong Kong and Havant

I would keep it in next doors garden they have more bushes and lush vegetation and a four car garage

But I think it would be very useful for breakdown / vehicle recovery in Havant

Towing things out of the way and using its trunk to wave at the bus queues

That’s if I had an elephant.

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By *orny PTMan
31 weeks ago

Peterborough

Take it to the Blue Peter studios.

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By *ripfillMan
31 weeks ago

Paris, New York, Hong Kong and Havant

"Take it to the Blue Peter studios."

You have a great memory!!! 👍 like an elephant!

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By *r TriomanMan
31 weeks ago

Malmesbury

What Elephant? I was told that there was no F in elephant

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By *issolvedOrdersMan
31 weeks ago

Bristol

Ride it naked through the streets of Bristol à la Lady Godiva

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By *elvet RopeMan
31 weeks ago

by the big field

Dress it in bondage gear and enter it as an art installation in the Turner Prize- entitled '50 Shades of Grey', keep the prize money and then donate the elephant to the Tate modern (with a value of $20m), which i can write off against tax....plus i aint got to feed the greedy fucker anymore, so a double win

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By *nnCeeWoman
31 weeks ago

East of Eden, West of Hell

There will be no riding of the elephant. They might be strong, but riding them hurts their backs.

If it is an Asian elephant, I'll take it to the sanctuary I visited outside of Chiang Mai and let it live happily in its natural environment, well fed and well looked after.

If African, I'll find a similar place where it will be happy in the bush.

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By *ags73Man
31 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

Take it to shite outside the police equestrian unit.

See how they like piles of shite outside their gaff

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By *oubleswing2019Man
31 weeks ago

Colchester

I find it highly unlikely I would be given an elephant because I do not have a licence covering the Dangerous Wild Animals Act 1976 & 1984.

Anyone who had an elephant (and by virtue had a Dangerous Wild Animals Act 1976 & 1984 licence themselves) would know this requirement, and being a responsible animal keeper would wish to ensure the adopted elephant's welfare was entrusted to a fellow owner of a Dangerous Wild Animals Act 1976 & 1984 licence.

Clearly, it's not something I am going to lose any sleep over, but I am concerned that the OP might be trying to offload a pachyderm clandestinely and covertly.

I am not quite sure how you would manage to covertly get an elephant "adopted", nor am I sure by which manner it might arrive.

Would a DPD card be left to say "Sorry, we called to deliver but you were not in. Please contact your local depot to collect your parcel. Weight 6,000 kg." or would they say, "Sorry, we called to deliver but you were not in. We've left George in your front garden. You can't miss him."

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By *vaRoseWoman
31 weeks ago

Ankh-Morpork

Pspspspspsps

Amazing new pet, mode of transport and unique garden fertiliser.

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By *issolvedOrdersMan
31 weeks ago

Bristol

"Pspspspspsps

Amazing new pet, mode of transport and unique garden fertiliser. "

Well damn right! You’d have to keep it wouldn’t you

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By *vaRoseWoman
31 weeks ago

Ankh-Morpork

"Pspspspspsps

Amazing new pet, mode of transport and unique garden fertiliser.

Well damn right! You’d have to keep it wouldn’t you "

I’d absolutely keep it. I wonder if it would live with the geese 🧐

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By *issolvedOrdersMan
31 weeks ago

Bristol

"Pspspspspsps

Amazing new pet, mode of transport and unique garden fertiliser.

Well damn right! You’d have to keep it wouldn’t you

I’d absolutely keep it. I wonder if it would live with the geese 🧐"

Just make sure there’s no mice haha

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By *vaRoseWoman
31 weeks ago

Ankh-Morpork

"Pspspspspsps

Amazing new pet, mode of transport and unique garden fertiliser.

Well damn right! You’d have to keep it wouldn’t you

I’d absolutely keep it. I wonder if it would live with the geese 🧐

Just make sure there’s no mice haha "

No mice, the chickens are great little predators

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By *issolvedOrdersMan
31 weeks ago

Bristol

"Pspspspspsps

Amazing new pet, mode of transport and unique garden fertiliser.

Well damn right! You’d have to keep it wouldn’t you

I’d absolutely keep it. I wonder if it would live with the geese 🧐

Just make sure there’s no mice haha

No mice, the chickens are great little predators "

Closest living relative of the T-Rex, just not as terrifying

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By *echnosonic_BrummieMan
31 weeks ago

Willenhall

If it was Nellie I'd tell her to fuck right off.

Please don't feel sorry for her. It's her own fault on account of her voting for Donald when she left the circus.

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