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Specifications...

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By *phrodite OP   Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

I have been meaning to ask this question for a while and I just saw something that reminded me :

Does specifying that you fancy meeting black/ Asian/ white/ oriental/ older than x years... whatever lady or gent sound a bit odd?

I am not talking about a racist aspect - I am talking about singling out a specific trait as opposed to wanting to meet a person?

I know it is not against rules and I may be overthinking this but I would not ever want to be "chosen" based on my nationality or age or size or whatever.

How do others feel?

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Neither would I.

I prefer to be chosen because of an attraction rather than an inherited trait.

That said, I do understand that this is about sex and people achieving their sexual fantasties.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No idea, I'm an equal opportunities deviant.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"No idea, I'm an equal opportunities deviant. "

You like to spread your deviance about a bit?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No idea, I'm an equal opportunities deviant.

You like to spread your deviance about a bit?"

He does. Haven't you heard the rumours..? Well.... bit more than rumours tbh....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 24/04/13 23:47:17]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm like Marmite flavoured Philadelphia.

You either love me or hate me - but either way I spread easily!

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"No idea, I'm an equal opportunities deviant.

You like to spread your deviance about a bit?

He does. Haven't you heard the rumours..? Well.... bit more than rumours tbh.... "

I don't listen to rumours - apart from the Fleetwood Mac album.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I'm like Marmite flavoured Philadelphia.

You either love me or hate me - but either way I spread easily!

"

Marmite spreadable cheese? That's just weird!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No idea, I'm an equal opportunities deviant.

You like to spread your deviance about a bit?

He does. Haven't you heard the rumours..? Well.... bit more than rumours tbh....

I don't listen to rumours - apart from the Fleetwood Mac album."

Well, you should always go your own way.....

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By *ogistical NightmaresCouple
over a year ago

Manchester Area

What about if someone came along who didnt fit into your spec of a / b / c / d / e etc, but you felt a real connection with. Would they fail at the first hurdle or would you relax your spec??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good question! I deliberately don't specify much of anything in my profile as I'm open minded to who and how I want to meet. If I put any kind of information on there it seems like it will only attract that kind of person. But that's also why I prefer to go looking, because what I fancy today will be different to what I fancy tomorrow.

I'm not attracted to profiles with too many specifications. I just figure we won't get on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What about if someone came along who didnt fit into your spec of a / b / c / d / e etc, but you felt a real connection with. Would they fail at the first hurdle or would you relax your spec??"

When you meet people at parties any spec tends to go straight out the window, under the bed, on the sheets etc...

Given a nice mixed group there are very few rules/preferences!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm like Marmite flavoured Philadelphia.

You either love me or hate me - but either way I spread easily!

Marmite spreadable cheese? That's just weird! "

Thats me! Weird. You only have read some of my forum posts to know that!

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By *o-jCouple
over a year ago

Outskirts of Notts

I uinderstand what we're saying but I couldn't go with someone as young as my kids or as old as my parents .

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I'm like Marmite flavoured Philadelphia.

You either love me or hate me - but either way I spread easily!

Marmite spreadable cheese? That's just weird!

Thats me! Weird. You only have read some of my forum posts to know that!

"

Yet I read you avidly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

dont think there is anything wrong with stating a personal preference. its nice to see people who specifically know what they want.

besides it would stop unecessary contact from people (providing they read the profile or just wanted to be a chancer) from making contact.

as a large girl if anything its reassuring to know a man states that he likes bigger ladies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Swinging is about fantasy and living out those fantasies in a safe and controlled way. It's about no strings sex so rather than all the qualities we look for in a life partner ie, honesty, hard working, sharing interests, family values etc, the attributes that are important here become almost quite shallow ie, looks, skin colour, size of cock/tits etc.

I have played with men that I wouldn't be interested in outside of swinging ie

younger men mainly because I can. I have chosen men to play with because of the shape of their cock, the

reasoning behind this is that I want to know how that feels. Outside of swinging when deliberating on starting a relationship, the curvature of a penis is not the main consideration.

I am chosen by men because I have big tits or a nice face, I'm White, im curvy and I'm also a big girl. I'm not chosen because of other qualities because I don't offer or give that information. I

want to be chosen solely on looks, body size etc because I'm not offering anything other than that.

We do however subconsciously choose people who share a similar background, so whilst looks and sexual

interests are at the forefront, we choose those attributes from people within a similar social background because we have to communicate and

we feel comfortable doing so from people with similar values and upbringing.

So mainly the preferences come into play from a different set of criteria and from a curiosity to experience something different from the standards we choose in a life partner.

Phew I'm tired now, couldn't sleep before.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

Ive fucked/dated CEO's earning in excess of £120k a year - Ive also shagged women on low incomes .. it usually goes off what you find attractive in a person. Theres not much more to read into it.

Though a post saying your tastes would hopefully cut a lot of the spam out potentially (or maybe not)

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By *owlmMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

for me its about genes and pheromones. I wouldnt want to go with a coloured person because it dosent attract me. I think im genetically predispositioned to go with people of my own colour. I'm also predispositioned to go with men who are physically strong and things like that. its how I am.

I think your worried how strange a specification 'string' might sound. your worried it will come across a bit robotic and wierd.

just phrase it a bit differently. instead of 'seeking asian = 33-43' try something like 'seeking young/middle age d asian type. You just need to phrase things a bit more humanely.

It might be you doing the database criteria filtering rather than the other person; because they might not be as choosy as you.

good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does it make you feel odd that, mutual attraction aside we met because of your age?

For me its not odd, it is all about what one is attracted to;-)

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By *obbygggMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

But Aphrodite your profile has specifications on it so I don't understand that.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I go for personality rather than a type, I think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On the flip side, I am well aware of why I am 'chosen' by others.

It's not my personality, my hair colour, my body size. Just that I am a female.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i think its good that people say exactly what they are looking for.

i have met lots of different types, i know what type i would prefer to meet but i dont like to offend anyone and i prefer white men who arent overweight who are clean shaven but sometimes you like someone for other different reasons.

such as a nice personality, which is important, someone who dresses nice, smells nice, someone you feel comfortable with.

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By *phrodite OP   Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Wow, what a lovely diverse spectrum of responses.

I have specs as somebody rightly said - and it is because I am trying to give an outline albeit only an approximation of what I am and what I am looking for (I think anyway) - it is not set in concrete and sometimes I talk to people on here who would not at first glance fit my spec but because they are funny, intelligent, witty, quirky or sexy I am attracted to them and then I would consider meeting them.

I guess what I was trying to say was more about not wanting to be chosen for ... for example my age (would put me in"cougar" bracket) as there is more to me. Similarly I would not choose a guy because he is black or 6 foot tall - he MAY be both but that is not the sole criterium. Hope I explained that a bit better.

Thank you all for contributing such interesting posts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"On the flip side, I am well aware of why I am 'chosen' by others.

It's not my personality, my hair colour, my body size. Just that I am a female. "

You don't mention a pulse ,

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By *phrodite OP   Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"On the flip side, I am well aware of why I am 'chosen' by others.

It's not my personality, my hair colour, my body size. Just that I am a female.

You don't mention a pulse , "

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey


"I'm like Marmite flavoured Philadelphia.

You either love me or hate me - but either way I spread easily!

Marmite spreadable cheese? That's just weird! "

So is the chocolate one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I'm a great believer in variety being the spice of life!

That said - as always it's down to personal preference if people have specific target groups they're looking for. Whatever 'floats someone's boat' floats their boat - and if that includes strict criteria and excludes those outside of specific traits then that's just the way it is !

I like the concept of relatively open preferences though as I feel it's more 'inclusive' than 'exclusive' and offers a wider scope for meeting different and interesting people.

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

I am kind of on the fence on this one as there are certain things that attract me to people and that I generally look for.

But my preferences are not set in stone and I am often suprised at who will grab my attention at parties.

On the other hand I wouldn't want someone to just meet me for example because they like short arsed 5 ft 2 ladies. So I suppose I am a bit of a hypocrite.

If any of that makes any sense? It has been one of those days!

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By *phrodite OP   Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"

I like the concept of relatively open preferences though as I feel it's more 'inclusive' than 'exclusive' and offers a wider scope for meeting different and interesting people. "
I like that way of looking at it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What about if someone came along who didnt fit into your spec of a / b / c / d / e etc, but you felt a real connection with. Would they fail at the first hurdle or would you relax your spec??

When you meet people at parties any spec tends to go straight out the window, under the bed, on the sheets etc...

Given a nice mixed group there are very few rules/preferences!"

With some maybe but personally I still wouldn't consider anyone well outside my age preference

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