FabSwingers.com forum: Ever fallen out with....

By *_Mr.K_x OP Man
32 weeks ago

North Worcestershire

Someone on here?

Let's just say you met someone, all good and all going well for a few months. You meet up a few times and even go as far as going to clubs together.

All seems too good to be true

But then something happens and he/she pulls away and just stops talking to you... (dismissive avoidant personality type) and then carries on regardless like things never mattered.

Had this happened to you? How did it make you feel? What did your do?

Just curious really to get other people's takes and experiences on this, or similar

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By *_Mr.K_x OP Man
32 weeks ago

North Worcestershire

Also... have you created a couples profile with this person and then this happen?

Like they just got overnight cold feet... kinda thing?

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
32 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly

I don’t think I’d class that as falling out.

If we’ve been getting on really well? It would hurt. But I’m also aware that some people don’t handle emotions or relationships (of any kind) well. So I’d let the dust settle and move on.

Mrs TMN x

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By *NormalMan01Man
32 weeks ago

Harrogate

There’s been a few questionable things happen, but that’s just people.

One person who I was getting on with really well thought I was a catfish and it really, really offended me. It annoys me because they were really nice but I just don’t understand why they did what they did. I’d still talk to them but I’ve no interest in meeting them now.

I think people are odd and can be very strange in the decision they make.

When someone ghosts it’s often due to their own insecurities more than anything else, so don’t take it to heart.

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By *_Mr.K_x OP Man
32 weeks ago

North Worcestershire

"There’s been a few questionable things happen, but that’s just people.

I think people are odd and can be very strange in the decision they make.

When someone ghosts it’s often due to their own insecurities more than anything else, so don’t take it to heart. "

Non taken to heart. It's easy to think it's you or that you have done something wrong.

But in fact, it's them and their own issues and boundaries.

We pick up, we move on. It's just a shame when that person seemed to make everything better and make you feel good about your life, especially after you've had years of problems.

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By *NormalMan01Man
32 weeks ago

Harrogate

"There’s been a few questionable things happen, but that’s just people.

I think people are odd and can be very strange in the decision they make.

When someone ghosts it’s often due to their own insecurities more than anything else, so don’t take it to heart.

Non taken to heart. It's easy to think it's you or that you have done something wrong.

But in fact, it's them and their own issues and boundaries.

We pick up, we move on. It's just a shame when that person seemed to make everything better and make you feel good about your life, especially after you've had years of problems. "

I’m sorry to hear that, I really am. But like you say, it’s not anything you’ve done.

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By *aster N NaughtyCouple
32 weeks ago

deal

Yes was talking to a couple on here meet a few times then moved the conversation to a different platform had to cancel next meet at short notice due to a sudden death of family member but the male half of couple became very abusive and very nasty ended up with police involved

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By *naswingdressWoman
32 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

Not a wise thing to discuss here.

Yes it happens. It's best dealt with privately.

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By *mf123Man
32 weeks ago

with one foot out the door

Not so much fallen out with cos i dont really see a point in that but the pull away thing yeah its usually cos im too lovable tho i see the reasoning and its shit at the time i learned i dont react well to it thats why they cannot have my penis

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By *mmaleiaWoman
32 weeks ago

Trowbridge

People change their minds for many reasons, I have, it happens, it’s best not to over think it & move on

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By *oodmessMan
32 weeks ago

yumsville

Of the people I've met no. They've either been one off meets, grown into fb's or long term fwb. The one off's and fb's, for the most, I didn't have a deep relationship with - just conversations on this and that but nothing really personal.

A few months and a few meets isn't that long so if something happened to stop them communicating, you likely know the reason, maybe they didn't think there was much of a connection or that much of the relationship?

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By *ellinever70Woman
32 weeks ago

Ayrshire

It's not the kind of behaviour I'd tolerate or enable

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By *partharmonyCouple
32 weeks ago

Ruislip

Not really, but we have had one woman be ridiculously rude to us calling us fake for no apparent reason.

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By *_Mr.K_x OP Man
32 weeks ago

North Worcestershire

"It's not the kind of behaviour I'd tolerate or enable "

How do you mean? If you can explain x

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By (user no longer on site)
32 weeks ago

I wouldn't be especially arsed about it although I've not had it happen so maybe I'll feel different.

I was chatting to someone and we'd agreed to a social but then it all went quiet. But people change their minds and don't owe me anything so c'est la vie.

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By *ad NannaWoman
32 weeks ago

East London

Loads of times. It usually means they got themselves a girlfriend.

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By *a LunaWoman
32 weeks ago

o o OO o o

Things end, sometimes amicably, sometimes not. I tend to just block and move on. I have no interest in dirty chat or suchlike after the fact. What’s done is done….onward!

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By *exxyyDy11Man
32 weeks ago

North West

"Things end, sometimes amicably, sometimes not. I tend to just block and move on. I have no interest in dirty chat or suchlike after the fact. What’s done is done….onward! "

Onwards and upwards I say

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By *exxyyDy11Man
32 weeks ago

North West

Not really fallen out as such, more times we have just stopped talking. Mostly due to life getting in the way for both of us. I'm still in contact with people I've met though.

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By (user no longer on site)
32 weeks ago

I have. They kept changing their mind

Block and move on. Don’t waste energy

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By *rHotNottsMan
32 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

No, but I can understand it from the other way round sometimes people read too much into things. Maybe got too heavy and it caused her to reassess & back off.

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By *_Mr.K_x OP Man
32 weeks ago

North Worcestershire

Just general brainstorming on how people would respond (or have responded) to this situation

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By (user no longer on site)
32 weeks ago

You aren't in a relationship right? People on here are so quick to read more into things, you get on, great. Maybe that's just as deep as it gets for them, it doesn't mean anything.

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By *unseeker v2Man
32 weeks ago

Cardiff

Had a relationship with someone on here. Unfortunately we were both hot headed and fell out over something trivial. There's always stuff in life one regrets.

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By *herrybakewellCouple
32 weeks ago

Staffordshire

[Removed by poster at 19/12/24 15:46:00]

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By *WB85Man
32 weeks ago

Staffordshire

I'd suggest reading some of the messages you send and see if you feel your attitude deserves a response.

I predict you may need to alter things.

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By *oodmessMan
32 weeks ago

yumsville

"I'd suggest reading some of the messages you send and see if you feel your attitude deserves a response.

I predict you may need to alter things. "

Some people do just go cold, it could be for anything - time, someone else, different outlooks, different views, sending/reading a message wrongly.. nothing goes to plan all the time but being left hanging is a pain. As others have said, just move on if there's no response.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
32 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

I saw someone from here for nearly two years who claimed to be single. Until his wife showed up screaming on my doorstep.

He genuinely seemed confused with the "but why would you give this up just because of one lie?" (Spoiler alert, it takes more than one lie to keep that big one afloat for that long.)

He still finds ways to try and convince me it wasn't that bad. As if the wife was the only issue and not the outright lying to me for years. It's amazing the absolute delusion some people must have. "I never overstep boundaries" after being told multiple times to not contact me being a solid favourite.

So, maybe you fucked up or are delusional too.

Or maybe it's just not that deep. They found someone they liked more and thought of your situation as a lot more casual than you did.

It sucks. But some people do just suck 💜

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
32 weeks ago

Reading

Yup it's happened. What can you do? Just shrugged it off and spent time with someone who was interested. Some people are just dicks.

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By *ealitybitesMan
32 weeks ago

Belfast

I've fallen out with people who made unreasonable demands and refused to listen to anything I said that didn't fit their own agenda.

On one occasion I hid my profile and didn't log in for over a year because of the drama they created.

In a more recent case I simply unfriended and ghosted someone I wrongly believed was a friend but who only wanted to use my friendship and my personal info to ingratiate herself with others.

I refuse to enable people like that.

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By *ustMe123xWoman
32 weeks ago

East London

I met someone on a site got on great we had a couples profile on here went to clubs spoke every day. 18 months later he just cut himself off. It really messed my head up tbh because right up until then we got on great. I think it’s a shitty thing today when you’ve been friends for so long and I don’t think some understand how much it fucks you up. I don’t get close to anyone now in case it happens again

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By *parkle1974Woman
32 weeks ago

Leeds

Only once, we haven't fallen out, we just don't communicate very much. I'm a grown up so can't be doing with childish behaviour...move on and don't give it a second thought x

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By *aster N NaughtyCouple
32 weeks ago

deal

"Not really, but we have had one woman be ridiculously rude to us calling us fake for no apparent reason. "

Yer we have had that a few times

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By *ansoffateMan
32 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

Ooh a bit of attachment theory.

It all really depends on the relationship really, what's the level of commitment and involvement have boundaries been discussed.

I the circumstances you describe then, it would probably suck a bit, but hey it ain't the end of the world.

I think too often people don't have the conversations and it's just left to luck if their ideas of the relationship correlate. Then you could argue some people will just say what they think you want to hear or be insincere and so on, so what's the point.

I just look at it like if I am straight up about it and willing to have the conversation that's the best I can do.

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By *he Silver FuxMan
32 weeks ago

Uttoxeter

Yes. I’m not going to reveal any details (protect the innocent etc.) but it kicked off over some weird interpretation of a particular message whilst discussing attending a party together.

A real WTF moment, tried to fix but ultimately had to block. A couple months later heard this lady had to be kicked out of a hotel takeover due to her behaviour so a bullet dodged I reckon.

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By *arley QuimWoman
32 weeks ago

Somewhere

Life changes though. It's rubbish is someone doesn't give a clear answer as to why, but maybe they either can't or don't want to.

No point in worrying about the what ifs though. If you've done something that you feel would have warranted upsetting them, then you know the reason why. If you haven't, then maybe they only know their reason why... But it's a them issue not a you issue

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By *cedGemWoman
32 weeks ago

your dreams

"Someone on here?

Let's just say you met someone, all good and all going well for a few months. You meet up a few times and even go as far as going to clubs together.

All seems too good to be true

But then something happens and he/she pulls away and just stops talking to you... (dismissive avoidant personality type) and then carries on regardless like things never mattered.

Had this happened to you? How did it make you feel? What did your do?

Just curious really to get other people's takes and experiences on this, or similar"

Yeah this happened to me very recently,it was fun while it lasted but getting dropped suddenly was a kick in the teeth...more for the fact I actually thought we were friends.

But we live & learn don't we x

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By *layfullsamMan
32 weeks ago

Solihull

A few have fallen out with me because they don’t like my posts

But it’s 12yo keyboard warrior stuff

Haters gonna hate

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By *ansoffateMan
32 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

"A few have fallen out with me because they don’t like my posts

But it’s 12yo keyboard warrior stuff

Haters gonna hate

/spit

mao@u

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By *_Mr.K_x OP Man
32 weeks ago

North Worcestershire

" Yeah this happened to me very recently,it was fun while it lasted but getting dropped suddenly was a kick in the teeth...more for the fact I actually thought we were friends.

But we live & learn don't we x"

Yeah this is a similar kind of thing.

To me, it's not so much of the wanting it to carry on or wanting them back... which don't get me wrong, if I could go back in time or push a big reset button... I would...

Bit it's the confusion of that you thought you meant something to someone and people can just switch off so easily and detach.. like it was nothing.

I'm not saying it was a full blown relationship, yes I caught feels, but it's just about feeling like you meant something, and clearing up that muddled confusion where you're just left in the dark.

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By *iss DevilWoman
32 weeks ago

Bedford

Yes, have a few "falling out"s with people on here. One I should have never met, he told me he was friends with another guy I was seeing occasionally (failed to mention the "friends" part was online only) which made me lower my guard. We got on well enough to meet a couple of times. Then, eventually, he told me he had a gf! That he did not mention sooner as he knew it would have been a deal breaker then- it was, and he knew that. He still tried to message me after a few months, wanting to meet and hoping I changed my mind, and got very upset when I told him I was not interested. He did get blocked straight after.

Then there was another guy, he took me to my first ever club. He was also happy to "take over" looking after me in the club when whoever I was with had to leave. One day, we arranged to go to the club together. He left me in the middle of the club and disappeared somewhere - he told me he was just going to take his jacket to the car. A member of staff found him for me later (we were sharing the locker, and he was well known in the club)- the drive home, in total silence, was extremely uncomfortable. Needless to say, I never met him again, and whenever I saw him in my local club, I was pretending he didn't exist. He is also the reason I always get my own locker nowadays.

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By *_Mr.K_x OP Man
32 weeks ago

North Worcestershire

I'm sorry to hear that... those sound like rather awkward experiences

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By *iss DevilWoman
32 weeks ago

Bedford

"I'm sorry to hear that... those sound like rather awkward experiences "

Those were two the worst ones that I could remember. It also happens that things just fizzle out, people change, circumstances change. But yes, particularly the club experience, that was no fun.

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By *iss DevilWoman
32 weeks ago

Bedford

But even more annoying is when someone just ghosts you for a while, then suddenly message and want everything to be back to the point from before the ghosting/lack of contact time. Erm, life doesn't work that way.

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By *ai Hard 2 - Dai HarderMan
31 weeks ago

Manchester / Cardiff

"Not a wise thing to discuss here.

Yes it happens. It's best dealt with privately."

I agree with this (dirty laundry in public and all that). I was going to DM you OP with some thoughts and my take on this, but your filters prevent. Feel free to message if you're still trying to brainstorm 🙂

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By *_Mr.K_x OP Man
31 weeks ago

North Worcestershire

"Not a wise thing to discuss here.

Yes it happens. It's best dealt with privately.

Thank you mate, I'm OK really, just perturbed.. it wasn't so much as 'dirty laundry' as there are no names and it's anonymous. Just describing a situation that maybe some people can relate to if they've ever found themselves in this position.

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By *ai Hard 2 - Dai HarderMan
31 weeks ago

Manchester / Cardiff

"Thank you mate, I'm OK really, just perturbed.. it wasn't so much as 'dirty laundry' as there are no names and it's anonymous. Just describing a situation that maybe some people can relate to if they've ever found themselves in this position. "

'perturbed', a very good way of putting it! I know the feeling well, yes can relate 😟

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By *ongAndThick123Man
31 weeks ago

Shrewsbury

"Someone on here?

Let's just say you met someone, all good and all going well for a few months. You meet up a few times and even go as far as going to clubs together.

All seems too good to be true

But then something happens and he/she pulls away and just stops talking to you... (dismissive avoidant personality type) and then carries on regardless like things never mattered.

Had this happened to you? How did it make you feel? What did your do?

Just curious really to get other people's takes and experiences on this, or similar"

Hmmm this seems oddly specific. There are multiple ways of falling out with someone - but you chose one specific scenario (also one which lays blame on the other person).

Are you referring to something that’s happened to you? Is this an attempt at getting their attention?

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By *_Mr.K_x OP Man
31 weeks ago

North Worcestershire

Are you referring to something that’s happened to you? Is this an attempt at getting their attention?"

It is something that's happened to me so yes, oddly specific. But no, not trying to get attention. Just cathatically sharing an experience to clear my own mind. But also, to find out whether I'm alone in this type of scenario and whether people can relate.

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By *rPunxMan
31 weeks ago

Hull

I've kinda discussed this in various catfish/catfishing threads but will repeat here. I was a member of a latex appreciation group on another platform. When someone took a liking to me. They were the ones pushing and suggesting we meet. We chatted privately for nearly two years.(a meet would be awkward as we both lived quite a distance and led busy lives). Though every time I tried to arrange a meet they cried off. But still chatted regularly. To cut along story short. They ended ghosting me then finally blocking me. Thing that annoyed me is the lost time. And I don't know for definite if I was catfish or it just didn't work out.

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By *_Mr.K_x OP Man
31 weeks ago

North Worcestershire

"I've kinda discussed this in various catfish/catfishing threads but will repeat here. I was a member of a latex appreciation group on another platform. When someone took a liking to me. They were the ones pushing and suggesting we meet. We chatted privately for nearly two years.(a meet would be awkward as we both lived quite a distance and led busy lives). Though every time I tried to arrange a meet they cried off. But still chatted regularly. To cut along story short. They ended ghosting me then finally blocking me. Thing that annoyed me is the lost time. And I don't know for definite if I was catfish or it just didn't work out. "

Lost time is a big big factor. Like, how you can go from being something...to nothing.

I saw a quote which made me howl with laughter. It went:-

"From cream pies to no replies"

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By *rPunxMan
31 weeks ago

Hull

Lost time is a big big factor. Like, how you can go from being something...to nothing.

I saw a quote which made me howl with laughter. It went:-

"From cream pies to no replies""

👍🤣

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By *enelope2UWoman
31 weeks ago

Doesn't matter cant block distances

Yeah happend a few months back we actually had met about 3 times during the week for over a month with weekends spent..in bliss..planned a trip away and suddenly he was getting depressed over an ex..I stated her loss and how well things were going and he said he needed time as he felt he'd be hurt again...

I'm not his ex and how do you turn a time of greatness into giving way to someone who hurt you...anyways blocked deleted and just call it a part of fab dreamers afraid of real reality. Many simply need therapy not pussy or dick.

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By *unseeker v2Man
31 weeks ago

Cardiff

"Many simply need therapy not pussy or dick."

Ain't that the truth!

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By (user no longer on site)
31 weeks ago

Some people can pretend to be someone different and for a longer period especially when sex is involved. If I've ever had genuine care for someone then I don't regret the relationship we had, I just take the lesson, wish them well and move forward.

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By *ongAndThick123Man
31 weeks ago

Shrewsbury

"Yeah happend a few months back we actually had met about 3 times during the week for over a month with weekends spent..in bliss..planned a trip away and suddenly he was getting depressed over an ex..I stated her loss and how well things were going and he said he needed time as he felt he'd be hurt again...

They don’t need therapy. This is just the nature of relationships. It doesn’t always work out. We can’t always control others feelings. It’s not worth getting angry at someone or blaming them for how they feel.

Accepting rejection is a part of life.

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By *ilverjagMan
31 weeks ago

swansea

The only ones that spring to mind are a couple who sitting in my lounge, wanted to use one of houses for their entertainment without me being there, and a guy who got arsey because I wouldn't let him use a house for a gang bang as I had my mum to see to. Needless to say I haven't lost a lot of sleep over either of them.

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By *eeCee76Man
31 weeks ago

Edinburgh

Sadly yes.

I could go into it, but there are two sides to every story and I ended up reporting her on here.

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By *oxy-RedWoman
31 weeks ago

pink panther territory

Just the once

I really can't believe how gullible I was ,it took me awhile to realise that he just wasn't worth another second thought

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By *tr8MrEMan
31 weeks ago

somewhere near Sheffield

If you've met in real.life, can you really class it as "falling out with someone on Fab"

Now if it is just Fab people per se, then yes, daily...it's very easy, it's all down to miss interpreted messages.

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