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By *abbithole24 OP   Couple
8 weeks ago

durham

Hi guys not sure if this is a thing or not?

I've been with my wife 20 Yr and haven't done anything with anyone else.

we started this journey 7 weeks ago.

We are both ready to do something and was close last week if the lady had come onto me I would have went all the way.

I just feel I couldn't touch anyone first I would need her to come onto me to start it.

Possibly worried incase i did something wrong.

I'd hate to be accused of something

Or am I just over thinking it.

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By *enk15Man
8 weeks ago

Evesham

Were you in a swingers club at the time?

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By *ellhungvweMan
8 weeks ago

Cheltenham

I think you are slightly over thinking things but I also know what you mean.

If you think the mood music is there then a simple “Shall we?” is probably all the situation needs. If she is interested then she can say yes and you are good. If she doesn’t want to then she can simply say no. Take her at her word and go with the flow.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

8 weeks ago

East Sussex

You might be over thinking a little.

If you're all in agreement and have discussed boundaries beforehand you should be fine. Reassure the people you meet that if they're uncomfortable they only need to say 'stop' (the same applies to you).

Remember, they're there willingly

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

8 weeks ago

East Sussex


"Were you in a swingers club at the time?"

Good point, I assumed it was a private meet

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By *orny PTMan
8 weeks ago

Peterborough

We: that's the most important word here.

Work slowly, go to a club that has a great social area, where you can talk and flirt, away from the play areas.

Strike up a rapport and let the night go organically. Jus a simple kiss on the hand, should add a little confidence when saying hello. an Excuse to touch and it's classy too.

You need to tell each and yourselves that you have permission to play. This is a huge mental barrier and it is normal, vanilla has a lot o answer for.

Get over that hurdle, get over your nerve, get on then get off with some nice.

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By *abbithole24 OP   Couple
8 weeks ago

durham

We where in a club last time .

The lady said she was fine with anything but I still felt too awkward to touch her .

We had fun with our own partners on the same bed .

I feel we may have swopped or did somthing if I wasn't been as awkward.

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By *abbithole24 OP   Couple
8 weeks ago

durham

Just to add.

I mean after we speak at the bar and then all decide go into a play room or if we where to meet at a house.

I couldn't make the first move.

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By *ellhungvweMan
8 weeks ago

Cheltenham

If you don’t feel comfortable then it is perfectly fine not to play. From the way you describe it, it sounds as if she was happy so you wouldn’t have been overstepping the mark. When you are ready then you are ready but don’t rush it before then.

Do what you are happy with and that’s all that matters.

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By *abbithole24 OP   Couple
8 weeks ago

durham

I want to play ...

I just don't want to make the first move lol .

Maybe after the first time it will be alot easier.

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By *ellhungvweMan
8 weeks ago

Cheltenham


"I want to play ...

I just don't want to make the first move lol .

Maybe after the first time it will be alot easier.

"

Only one way to solve that problem

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

8 weeks ago

East Sussex


"I want to play ...

I just don't want to make the first move lol .

Maybe after the first time it will be alot easier.

"

There's no reason why you should make the first move. It could be a mutual thing or you could say something like "would it be ok if I (insert agreed action?"

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By *ansoffateMan
8 weeks ago

Sagittarius A


"I want to play ...

I just don't want to make the first move lol .

Maybe after the first time it will be alot easier.

"

Honestly, that used to play on my mind. Then I realised it's just not my thing to 'make a move', certainly not in any overt sense.

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By *abbithole24 OP   Couple
8 weeks ago

durham

I'll get there I'm sure

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By *abbithole24 OP   Couple
8 weeks ago

durham

Yea .also

I think there partner been there is hard to get my head around aswell .

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By *allySlinkyWoman
8 weeks ago

Leeds


"Yea .also

I think there partner been there is hard to get my head around aswell .

"

Was your partner there too ?

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By *ags73Man
8 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

Learn as you go.

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By *abbithole24 OP   Couple
8 weeks ago

durham


"Yea .also

I think there partner been there is hard to get my head around aswell .

Was your partner there too ?"

Yes

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