This site is a perfect parallel to job hunting. People who quickly land a job or secure frequent meets tend to assume the process is simple and the site works well. Remarks about “putting yourself out there” or “changing your approach” often come from individuals who haven’t experienced repeated rejection or the feeling of being overlooked. I took a glance at the profiles commenting on this thread, and the pattern was clear: those with successful experiences (subjective, but marked by frequent meets) generally have a positive opinion, while those with fewer meets tend to hold more modest or pessimistic views.
In any case, it can be exhausting to be the one constantly chasing or struggling to find someone. Another factor that shapes your outlook on this site is expectations. Expecting instant connections or quick encounters is naive. Naturally, people are opinionated and searching for their own fantasies, and if you don’t fit their criteria, you simply won’t “get the job.”
To say the site is dying is subjective. It still works well for many, but I assume this criticism stems from the difficulty in finding partners or meets. In that respect, I agree there’s been a shift. I joined in 2018, and as an 18-year-old straight male with no verifications or experience, I could land a meet every couple of weeks with fantastic people who embraced their desires while upholding class and values. Fast forward to 2022 and beyond, people have become more selective, and understandably so.
Another noticeable shift is the increasing popularity of bi-couples and females. As a single straight guy, your experience depends on whether you’re sought after or overlooked, and that ultimately determines your outlook here.
This perspective comes from someone with plenty of experience in the “real world.” Over the last six months, Tinder, Hinge, nightclubs, and holidays abroad have introduced me to amazing individuals, both casual and otherwise, far more than six years on here, where I’ve had only a dozen meets.
Everyone is entitled to their preferences and fantasies, but it can feel like a chore to be on this site, essentially, it’s like job hunting. That said, I’ll always keep my profile open. The site has given me opportunities to meet incredible people I wouldn’t have encountered otherwise. Reducing my expectations for sexual encounters has greatly improved my perspective, and I now view the site as an opportunity rather than a guarantee. |
