FabSwingers.com forum: Posting on this site

By *yclop OP Man
over a year ago

belfast

The few times I've started a thread on this site, or contributed to one, the other contributors have invariably dragged the thread completely off subject. Some have even got quite personal about it.

We have even (not this latest time) had conversations of several posts about what people were doing that weekend, or full of little in-jokes that nobody else got.

Invariably the thread was made almost unreadable.

Members wanting to contribute to the discussion itself, have felt obliged to pm each other, either from fear that their post would be lost in the mess of the thread, or they did not want to pop their heads above the parapet and leave themselves open to personal slanging.

Is this not all a little bit childish?

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By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

"or they did not want to pop their heads above the parapet and leave themselves open to personal slanging.

You should do some research prior to making statements, “Personal Slanging” as you put it, is neither allowed or tolerated on this site

As for threads taking a deviation from the original topic,

a) all one has to do is post a comment relating to the original topic in order to bring it back on topic

b) 99% of threads on here finish on a totally different topic to how the thread started.

c) we're not aware of anyone scared to pop their head above the parapet

what's that all about?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wrote something similiar under a recent topic heading 'cliques'. You will find there is a group of posters that always hijack threads and turn them into personal love in sessions, as if they need the constant reassurance of the pack, rather amusing to watch actually. I was 'told off' for daring to say as much but as I've never been shy in saying what's on my mind or afraid of 'the pack' it matters not to me. Yes I get a lot of pms too usually along the lines 'pissing in the wind'. This thread wont last long I'm afraid as they'll soon be out in attack mode: they wont be able to resist. That said, if you see a post you're interested in still contribute to it as you'll never stop people from hijacking threads I'm afraid.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am new here and I know what looks like a clique really isnt as they were all new once and had to find their way on here.

I want to post in the forum and if people respond or go off topic thats fine. I get ignored in real life and responded to sometimes

This is a website forum where people are here posting and read mostly by people they have never met.

So my motto is, dont take anything personally. Its a free site and it has rules and as long as people stick within them, no harm is being done

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

dont think I've ever known a forum that doesn't go off track, no matter what type of site it's on or what subject it starts off on! it's just the way it is

We been on the site nearly 2 yrs but have only just started entertaining ourselves in the forum. Just chill a bit and take the responses with a big pinch of salt, and you will learn to enjoy it too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What corri said, lol

You have to be a bit robust for the forums, and understand that some are are big fish in a little pond

But the fun is here

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By *heekychezzaWoman
over a year ago

warrington

Quite a lot of the regular forum posters have gone to some of the socials up and down the country over the last six months, so a lot have met and had a laugh and made friends. and I'm sure that sometimes makes things appear clique-y.

Yes threads regularly get highjacked or veer off in a different direction, but as has been said before, it's easy enough to bring it back to the original point.

One of the things I love most about the forums is the way everyone rallys if someone needs support...be it just the need for a vitual hug cos they're feeling low, or really practical help (as is the recent case of sorting out a much-needed stairlift for someone's sister).

It's a place where people gripe and rant, and laugh and poke fun. It's educational, humerous, confrontational and extremely addictive. And it's here for everyone to use...there is no reason why people need to be scared to contribute...as long as they abide by the rules...but you do need to be aware that sometimes things which seem to be slightly "off" can just be put down to an individuals sense of humour...some peoople's humour just takes a bit of getting used to I've found.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

".....

be it just the need for a virtual hug cos they're ..."

I need one of them

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By *heekychezzaWoman
over a year ago

warrington

".....

be it just the need for a virtual hug cos they're ...

I need one of them

xxxHUGxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He he welcome ta the madhouse lol lighten up there is very little that's serious in swinging lol xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

".....

be it just the need for a virtual hug cos they're ...

I need one of them

xxxHUGxxx"

Thanks, I feel warmer already

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Quite a lot of the regular forum posters have gone to some of the socials up and down the country over the last six months, so a lot have met and had a laugh and made friends. and I'm sure that sometimes makes things appear clique-y.

Yes threads regularly get highjacked or veer off in a different direction, but as has been said before, it's easy enough to bring it back to the original point.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah pretty much everyone who's been on here a while sees the op point of view but in the end we all did the if ya cant beat em join em and ya know what its fun lol xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

when it all kicks off, I switch on Sky News... and see the hard reality of life.....

brings it all back to having fun on here....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"when it all kicks off, I switch on Sky News... and see the hard reality of life.....

brings it all back to having fun on here....

Well said that man life out there is far too serious xx

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

"The few times I've started a thread on this site, or contributed to one, the other contributors have invariably dragged the thread completely off subject. Some have even got quite personal about it.

We have even (not this latest time) had conversations of several posts about what people were doing that weekend, or full of little in-jokes that nobody else got.

Invariably the thread was made almost unreadable.

Is this not all a little bit childish?"

They are open threads and by starting one you are asking others to add their opinions to them, some you will agree with and some you wont, but that's life!

What feels like a really important subject to you might seem totally trivial to others, but again that's life!

If we all thought the same the world would be a really boring place to live

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By *heekychezzaWoman
over a year ago

warrington

They are open threads and by starting one you are asking others to add their opinions to them, some you will agree with and some you wont, but that's life!

What feels like a really important subject to you might seem totally trivial to others, but again that's life!

If we all thought the same the world would be a really boring place to live

How true !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To the OP, whilst I can see what you are saying, and understand how you preceive things to be I ask one question ......

How many conversations with your friends or family have you known to start and end on exactly the same subject and never wandered off track along the way ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I believe it is the nature of the forums, especially the Lounge, to go off topic soon after the thread appears.

The Lounge is supposed to be light-hearted and frivilous IMHO

As for in-jokes/cliques/whatever, it is the same wherever you go. You get to know certain people more than the others, and form a better rapport with them.

Some of us have met together at social events, and some are even playmates!!! It is not rocket science that they will gel better on here!!!

Jump in and join in the fun I'd say.

If one perceived to be an outsider, that's most likely that he/she has not made the effort to go with the flow, and constantly tries to swim against the tide.

Chill out and have fun! Long live the forums!!!

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

"I am new here and I know what looks like a clique really isnt as they were all new once and had to find their way on here.

I want to post in the forum and if people respond or go off topic thats fine. I get ignored in real life and responded to sometimes

This is a website forum where people are here posting and read mostly by people they have never met.

So my motto is, dont take anything personally. Its a free site and it has rules and as long as people stick within them, no harm is being done "

yep, just what Corrie said...

(saves on the typing)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well have read all above and still do not believe in cliques really existing. How many people are there on this site in comparison to those who have met at socials? Would imagine about 5% may have met at Fab socials.

But perception is a very real feeling. Sorry to be serious for a moment but its the term used in harrassment and bullying in a workplace. Its how the person feels rather than if intention was meant to hurt in any way.

Yes forums are a great laugh and can be serious topics as well and people have feelings. Its not the real world but to some people its their lifeline to a social life. Nothing wrong with that.

So I suppose while it is easy to say go with the flow, I think you still need balls to drop into a forum and start posting. I happen to have balls

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wrote something similiar under a recent topic heading 'cliques'. You will find there is a group of posters that always hijack threads and turn them into personal love in sessions, as if they need the constant reassurance of the pack, rather amusing to watch actually. I was 'told off' for daring to say as much but as I've never been shy in saying what's on my mind or afraid of 'the pack' it matters not to me. Yes I get a lot of pms too usually along the lines 'pissing in the wind'. This thread wont last long I'm afraid as they'll soon be out in attack mode: they wont be able to resist. That said, if you see a post you're interested in still contribute to it as you'll never stop people from hijacking threads I'm afraid. "

I agree 100%

I can understand people having a few laughs whilst commenting on the topic in hand but many posts make no mention of the original topic and turn into a thread chatroom for those described above

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By *uckscouple2007Couple
over a year ago

Bucks

who knows what the cricket score is ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"who knows what the cricket score is ??"

we won

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tut! Tut!

You didn't mention the original topic

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By *uckscouple2007Couple
over a year ago

Bucks

"Tut! Tut!

You didn't mention the original topic

Isn't the "original topic" Squirrel Sh!t ? (what has a hazelnut in verybite ...)

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By *obbytupperMan
over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley

Some people take a very one eyed veiw of life.pmsl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some people take a very one eyed veiw of life.pmsl

i never take my eye off the ball ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some people take a very one eyed veiw of life.pmsl

ha ha - very good. I wish I'd thought of that one - very subtle indeed

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By *uckscouple2007Couple
over a year ago

Bucks

"Some people take a very one eyed veiw of life.pmsl

yes, very subtle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some people take a very one eyed veiw of life.pmsl

i never take my eye off the ball ....

Especially if they have only one eye and one ball

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By *imfromGlasgowMan
over a year ago

er...guess

" .............

Is this not all a little bit childish?"

Has it taken you 11 months to work that out?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

happy to give anyone my one eyed view

or views one eyed .....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The problem is soon to be solved. In the new year when the site gives us the ability to Block any forum posters whose posts you don't want to read, as I understand it they wont be able to see your posts, you wont be able to see thiers and people on you existing block list will automatically be blocked in the forums as well as the chatrooms, profiles and from mailing you.

This means you will only be able to see and read posts from those not on your block list, so, if you think someone is just being childish, using the forums for thier own pleasure or any other reason you simply have to block them and never have to read another post from them, I am sure people will be active with my name and the block button

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

well to the OP, sorry you feel that way..but you are right invariably subjects are "hi jacked" but its all done in good fun and is not done deliberatly to piss people off..but is the way of the forums....thick skin needed at times..welcome to the forums...wanna borrow my spare tin hat????xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i have noticed not a clique as such but a regular group of posters who do indeed seem to know each other, but far from being attackers of people these very same people have given me valuable advice and welcomed me and have even pm`ed with some of these "cliquw" members who have put me right on a few things, and i cant speak for everyone but i find thier posts amusing informative and much better to read than negative posts,

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By *ary and BejesusCouple
over a year ago

Ye Olde Stable

Well as one who has posted now and then I am in agreement with both the OP and the regular forum posters.

Sometimes it is infuriating when a thread goes off topic and ends up in lovey dovey dross, or random banter between friends...and actually sometimes it is quite rude and bad manners even if it is not intentional. ( holds hands up to having done it.).

However there are plenty of frivolous threads about and it would be nice if sometimes the drivel and banter could be kept in there rather than ruining what is sometimes a topic that requires some thought and is bloody interesting.

Upon reflection...I am with the OP on this one

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

yep kinda with the op myself as well on the matter of going off subject with a mass love in

to be honest when it happens i just move to another subject whilst i wait for them to come spoil that subject as well.

You know who you are

get a room springs to mind

Steve

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By *yclop OP Man
over a year ago

belfast

love the notion that "Cyclop" is taking a "one-eyed view of life" lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"love the notion that "Cyclop" is taking a "one-eyed view of life" lol"

See ya smilin already lol xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The Swingers Chat forum is a lot better for a serious debate as the intellectual challenge of it all seems to keep the "love in's" at bay

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

"The Swingers Chat forum is a lot better for a serious debate as the intellectual challenge of it all seems to keep the "love in's" at bay

Aw - surely one can be intellectual and a bit of a lovie as well? Well, can answer my own question there actually - some can and some obviously can't! Z XXXXX mwah!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The Swingers Chat forum is a lot better for a serious debate as the intellectual challenge of it all seems to keep the "love in's" at bay

Aw - surely one can be intellectual and a bit of a lovie as well? Well, can answer my own question there actually - some can and some obviously can't! Z XXXXX mwah!"

Correct and If you look at both forums then you have your answer as regards who can and who can't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The problem is soon to be solved. In the new year when the site gives us the ability to Block any forum posters whose posts you don't want to read, as I understand it they wont be able to see your posts, you wont be able to see thiers and people on you existing block list will automatically be blocked in the forums as well as the chatrooms, profiles and from mailing you.

Wont be blocking you..you are often the voice of reason...x

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By *ebzStarWoman
over a year ago

Notting

JedNSash - is that not gonna get mighty cofusing if someone you DONT wanna read posts something but some one you have NOT blocks quotes them??????

LOL

I dont care what others put in the forums that i dont wanna read - i either ignore and odnt post - or dive in with both feet and expext a rise, hehehe.

Sometimes its fun just to get a rise.

Am also guilty of posting back and forth with others who arae more regualr posters, but also would like to hope that if a newbie came on and posted i would treat them the same.

I remember diving on here under a year ago as a newbie.

Had been on other non swinging forums before that and even after a year was not accepted, so thought well i gotta dive in and if i hate it i dont have to swim.

These forums, yes it takes a while getting used to others sense of humour - and bloody hell, mine is twisted and yet i still get things wrong.

At the end of the day - just join in - there are other aspects of this site - just mailing, chat etc, you dont need to rely on the forums, here we are all just for a banter, discussion and fun.

Oh, and Bonksy is right (FOR ONCE) that swingers chat forums DO tend to stay on topic.

Have fun

The waffler!!!! LOL xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the forums can decend into chaos and totally off thread but also lead to other threads! the cliquiness has been discussed to death yeah some people know other people and use it as a chatter base but its human nature! verbal sparring matches have also happened ( me n the fishcakes one

) the view i take with the forums is that its fun but with some good points and issues! to any newbies join in!! and have a thick skin!! xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Right for Once, well we seem to be making good progress with that denial disorder of yours Debs

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By *ebzStarWoman
over a year ago

Notting

"Right for Once, well we seem to be making good progress with that denial disorder of yours Debs

Dont get too carried away Bonksy - i only said ONCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hehehehehehe xx

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