Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
 | Back to forum list |
| Back to The Lounge |
| Jump to newest |  |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Cheers I agree with you" Personally I prefer a bit more of a moral core to people I associate with. But. It's an honest answer to your question 💜 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Does it pay to be honest about yourself on here. " Yes. Because you should have the self respect to advertise yourself honestly. Respect other people by not lying to them so they know what they’re getting into. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Does it pay to be honest about yourself on here. " I suppose that would depend on your intentions, if you're just here for wank go ahead and photoshop your pics, tell tall tales about where you've been and what you've done, you can pretend to be whoever you want online. But if you actually intend meeting some of the lovely people from fabswingers I think you'd be better off being honest about who you are and what you want. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm a shit liar so it would do me no favours whatsoever" I KNEW it was you who dropped that stinker in the lobby  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Does it pay to be honest about yourself on here. " Unless you like big butts and you cannot lie (a damnation combination unique to Sir Mix-a-Lot methinks) I would say there are some things you should not lie about. These include your dick size, STI status, and physical type. Don't be calling yourself athletic and muscular if you be soft and squidgy either. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"What do you gain by lying?" Sparkles your so beautiful and curvy your certainly made my Sunday its a 10/10 from me be safe baby xx | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"To be honest… lying may gain you something in the short term, but you die a little inside when you do. If you have any ambition of being a fully realised human being, if you reach for peace in your soul, and value kindness in your life, then tell the truth, especially when it’s hard. This is what character, integrity and honour are made of. " 😍 I can’t add to this | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"To be honest… lying may gain you something in the short term, but you die a little inside when you do. If you have any ambition of being a fully realised human being, if you reach for peace in your soul, and value kindness in your life, then tell the truth, especially when it’s hard. This is what character, integrity and honour are made of. " Every so often I read something on these forums that I really, really like. This is one of those times. 🍻 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"To be honest… lying may gain you something in the short term, but you die a little inside when you do. If you have any ambition of being a fully realised human being, if you reach for peace in your soul, and value kindness in your life, then tell the truth, especially when it’s hard. This is what character, integrity and honour are made of. " Or...Photoshop like your life depends on it and you get an inbox full of hot men. Swings and roundabouts. I'm not honest about where I live Or my name Or my private life Or anything else that that doesn't concern you Sometimes it's not great to be too honest | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Depends if you value honesty?" How honest do you need someone to be in a relationship that's purely sexual? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Depends if you value honesty? How honest do you need someone to be in a relationship that's purely sexual? " If she enjoyed it then I would like her to be honest about it. If she didn’t enjoy it then I would prefer she lied  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Does it pay to be honest about yourself on here. " Yep but you won't always like the answer | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Does it pay to be honest about yourself on here. " honesty is the best policy | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Depends if you value honesty? How honest do you need someone to be in a relationship that's purely sexual? " I agree. There's honesty, and honesty on fab. Yes there's no point in lying about your size and health. But anything else? Sorry, there's being total naive and opening yourself up to some pretty fucked up individuals!! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"To be honest… lying may gain you something in the short term, but you die a little inside when you do. If you have any ambition of being a fully realised human being, if you reach for peace in your soul, and value kindness in your life, then tell the truth, especially when it’s hard. This is what character, integrity and honour are made of. Or...Photoshop like your life depends on it and you get an inbox full of hot men. Swings and roundabouts. I'm not honest about where I live Or my name Or my private life Or anything else that that doesn't concern you Sometimes it's not great to be too honest " I'm going to start taking this approach from the new year, I get tired of telling people everything and it's less to worry about it they simply don't know. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Depends if you value honesty? How honest do you need someone to be in a relationship that's purely sexual? " Interesting question. I don't really have a reference point, I don't think I've ever had one that's purely sexual. I imagine there's still elements of trust, just different and potentially simpler - if both respect the boundaries of involvement. Going from the experience of friends who have attempted to have purely sexual relationships it's eventually become more involved over time and someone wants more. It only appears to work if it's temporary, at least that's their conclusion. Most honest answer I have is: I don't really know, I'm not really someone who can compartmentalise sex in that manner, it doesn't work for me. There have been times I've wished it could though. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Does it pay to be honest about yourself on here. " Honesty is a matter of pride for me, there's no point in being dishonest in my opinion but we are all different. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I prefer people to attempt their own version of extraordinary honesty. That way, I can see the lies they believe about their own self. Those they have no consciousness of. Then I choose how much of their self-deceit is something enjoyable to bring into my life, or whether to leave them to it and not engage. People who obviously lie a lot can be fun too - they're just easier to work out from the very beginning, and easier to choose what bits of them to invite in." Extraordinary honesty! I am going to use that | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I also think the un-conscious question we're really asking of other people is: "That good thing I lack, but want, and you can give to me, how much does it "cost" me? Do I lose "too much" in order to receive it?" Anyone who thinks truth, lies, and honesty are fixed and reliable concepts needs to spend a bit of time studying The Liar Paradox, Kurt Gödel, and dialetheia. Words, symbols, aren't up to the job of matching reality, but "feeling" what someone can give to you, and whether the "cost" is desirable or acceptable is closer to reality. Words play a role, but a limited one." I think you need to explain this a bit more because I’m a little bit thick! Sure language is never enough. It’s one of the reasons I love art and photography. I can express and feel things that words cannot describe. But there’s a big difference between consciously misleading versus being stuck for the right words. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I also think the un-conscious question we're really asking of other people is: "That good thing I lack, but want, and you can give to me, how much does it "cost" me? Do I lose "too much" in order to receive it?" Anyone who thinks truth, lies, and honesty are fixed and reliable concepts needs to spend a bit of time studying The Liar Paradox, Kurt Gödel, and dialetheia. Words, symbols, aren't up to the job of matching reality, but "feeling" what someone can give to you, and whether the "cost" is desirable or acceptable is closer to reality. Words play a role, but a limited one. I think you need to explain this a bit more because I’m a little bit thick! Sure language is never enough. It’s one of the reasons I love art and photography. I can express and feel things that words cannot describe. But there’s a big difference between consciously misleading versus being stuck for the right words." It's a massive topic, but a bit more, and this may or may not tackle what you mean? Words and actions are often "incongruent". Congruency is a fairly chunky idea in psychology/behavioural sciences. People say certain things (eg demand "honesty" from others), but their own actions reveal incongruity - they may be emotionally dishonest themselves, mostly un-consciously, and with no conscious malice. Using your example of "consciously misleading/stuck for right words", my specific (and there's loads more, but it's really chunky) example would be someone who "thinks" they're being honest, but they're actually fooling themselves and others because of a lack of awareness over their own emotional and cognitive drivers. Many people who do this are then presented with a further problem, which is, when they think they've been honest (but they haven't, because they don't know enough about themselves), the person they're with "picks up" on the incongruency. They start to feel a bit conned. That person then starts to distrust (rightly) the first person. The first person then distrusts them in turn, because they (the second person) has changed (rightly) towards the first person. Because the first person doesn't know about their own incongruency, they then can ONLY see the second person has changed towards them, and need to blame the second person because they are totally blind to their own role in the process. So it ends in tears, with recriminations. Because the first person is unaware of their own "misleading-ness". They genuinely (and really sadly) can't see it. And it exists outside of words, within the realms of un-conscious drivers, trauma, cognition, and emotions. Then there's also (at the very least) the whole "bewitched by words and meanings" thing, which is more the realm of philosophy/logic. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
You're not knowingly deceiving anyone. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I also think the un-conscious question we're really asking of other people is: "That good thing I lack, but want, and you can give to me, how much does it "cost" me? Do I lose "too much" in order to receive it?" Anyone who thinks truth, lies, and honesty are fixed and reliable concepts needs to spend a bit of time studying The Liar Paradox, Kurt Gödel, and dialetheia. Words, symbols, aren't up to the job of matching reality, but "feeling" what someone can give to you, and whether the "cost" is desirable or acceptable is closer to reality. Words play a role, but a limited one. I think you need to explain this a bit more because I’m a little bit thick! Sure language is never enough. It’s one of the reasons I love art and photography. I can express and feel things that words cannot describe. But there’s a big difference between consciously misleading versus being stuck for the right words. It's a massive topic, but a bit more, and this may or may not tackle what you mean? Words and actions are often "incongruent". Congruency is a fairly chunky idea in psychology/behavioural sciences. People say certain things (eg demand "honesty" from others), but their own actions reveal incongruity - they may be emotionally dishonest themselves, mostly un-consciously, and with no conscious malice. Using your example of "consciously misleading/stuck for right words", my specific (and there's loads more, but it's really chunky) example would be someone who "thinks" they're being honest, but they're actually fooling themselves and others because of a lack of awareness over their own emotional and cognitive drivers. Many people who do this are then presented with a further problem, which is, when they think they've been honest (but they haven't, because they don't know enough about themselves), the person they're with "picks up" on the incongruency. They start to feel a bit conned. That person then starts to distrust (rightly) the first person. The first person then distrusts them in turn, because they (the second person) has changed (rightly) towards the first person. Because the first person doesn't know about their own incongruency, they then can ONLY see the second person has changed towards them, and need to blame the second person because they are totally blind to their own role in the process. So it ends in tears, with recriminations. Because the first person is unaware of their own "misleading-ness". They genuinely (and really sadly) can't see it. And it exists outside of words, within the realms of un-conscious drivers, trauma, cognition, and emotions. Then there's also (at the very least) the whole "bewitched by words and meanings" thing, which is more the realm of philosophy/logic." Nicely explained Nicky. There's nothing quite like the feelies when it comes to challenging a person's self-concept. It's good when there's language that reflects a shared feeling. That can condense to a single word, a tone, even just eye contact, or a touch. Nature is smarter than people think. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Best to be honest, everyone gets caught out eventually. " Exactly xx | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Post new Message to Thread |
| back to top |  |
