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By *phrodite OP   Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

conflict as it evolves in front of you? The anger management thread made me think of this.

What happens when people argue and even fight in your presence? Do you cower in the corner, try to reason with them and what goes on inside you while the drama unfolds?

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

If its nothing to do with me and nobody is getting physically hurt, I stay out of it. I'm very good and controlling difficult situations I'm involved in and never resort to screaming or shouting.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I turn into a ninja.....do some moves and tell then to shut the fuck up and grow up...

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By *phrodite OP   Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Fornix and Cheeky... how do you feel inside when it happens?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Usually leave them to it as I hate arguing, if its family or best mates I try and step in and help

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hand out the boxing gloves and ref it

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By *eyondCuriousWoman
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

I can always be found in the corner - I hate confrontation unless it's via email then I'm quite good

XxH

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"Fornix and Cheeky... how do you feel inside when it happens? "

annoyed I hate arguing but if you are going to give me a headache then you will hear about it....

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By *phrodite OP   Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Really interesting! I guess most people do not actually like witnessing an argument. Ok it might be funny to begin with but as people get more serious, most people would feel anxious, worries, uncomfortable, angry, sad ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nature of my job used to be to defuse it if possible and nothing really goes on inside me.just got used to getting in there and being a mediator.

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By *phrodite OP   Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Nature of my job used to be to defuse it if possible and nothing really goes on inside me.just got used to getting in there and being a mediator."
So you assume a neutral detached stance which allows you not to have personal feelings?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pretty much yeah ive seen so much crap and so many fights you learn to shut of and deal with it.

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By *hris148Man
over a year ago

.

If I witness people arguing, I just want to laugh, I can't help it.

I suppose it is some sort of defence mechanism that is denying any possibility that the arguement is actually a serious matter

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By *phrodite OP   Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"If I witness people arguing, I just want to laugh, I can't help it.

I suppose it is some sort of defence mechanism that is denying any possibility that the arguement is actually a serious matter"
That is sucha good point!

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By *hris148Man
over a year ago

.


"If I witness people arguing, I just want to laugh, I can't help it.

I suppose it is some sort of defence mechanism that is denying any possibility that the arguement is actually a serious matterThat is sucha good point! "

Why thank you

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By *phrodite OP   Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"If I witness people arguing, I just want to laugh, I can't help it.

I suppose it is some sort of defence mechanism that is denying any possibility that the arguement is actually a serious matterThat is sucha good point!

Why thank you "
Seriously - I think that idea of laughing as a defense mechanism is clever.

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By *hris148Man
over a year ago

.


"If I witness people arguing, I just want to laugh, I can't help it.

I suppose it is some sort of defence mechanism that is denying any possibility that the arguement is actually a serious matterThat is sucha good point!

Why thank you Seriously - I think that idea of laughing as a defense mechanism is clever. "

There have been times when it hasn't quite worked, and then people really flip their lid because they aren't being taken seriously

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

I've always used my voice to talk myself out of any potential physical arguments. I've never had to resort to physical violence myself, and even though I'm perfectly capable of looking after myself, I would rather walk away.

I've worked in the licensed trade for about 18 months now, and have held my SIA badge for about 4 years, so have seen a lot of trouble kick off. I'll leave a verbal argument until it gets to a point I believe it is going to escalate, then I'll put myself in between the people involved. My mate says being a woman makes it easier, people are more inclined to listen to a woman, but I'm finding this to be less so more recently. Especially with younger people.

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By *phrodite OP   Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"If I witness people arguing, I just want to laugh, I can't help it.

I suppose it is some sort of defence mechanism that is denying any possibility that the arguement is actually a serious matterThat is sucha good point!

Why thank you Seriously - I think that idea of laughing as a defense mechanism is clever.

There have been times when it hasn't quite worked, and then people really flip their lid because they aren't being taken seriously"
I may have misunderstood you - I thought you meant laugh inside, by yourself not antagonising the arguing couple further.

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By *phrodite OP   Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"I've always used my voice to talk myself out of any potential physical arguments. I've never had to resort to physical violence myself, and even though I'm perfectly capable of looking after myself, I would rather walk away.

I've worked in the licensed trade for about 18 months now, and have held my SIA badge for about 4 years, so have seen a lot of trouble kick off. I'll leave a verbal argument until it gets to a point I believe it is going to escalate, then I'll put myself in between the people involved. My mate says being a woman makes it easier, people are more inclined to listen to a woman, but I'm finding this to be less so more recently. Especially with younger people. "

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By *hris148Man
over a year ago

.


"If I witness people arguing, I just want to laugh, I can't help it.

I suppose it is some sort of defence mechanism that is denying any possibility that the arguement is actually a serious matterThat is sucha good point!

Why thank you Seriously - I think that idea of laughing as a defense mechanism is clever.

There have been times when it hasn't quite worked, and then people really flip their lid because they aren't being taken seriouslyI may have misunderstood you - I thought you meant laugh inside, by yourself not antagonising the arguing couple further."

I laugh to myself everytime, but more often than not, I will laugh out loud, which makes those arguing wonder what is so funny and then realise it is them making a fool of themselves

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By *phrodite OP   Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"If I witness people arguing, I just want to laugh, I can't help it.

I suppose it is some sort of defence mechanism that is denying any possibility that the arguement is actually a serious matterThat is sucha good point!

Why thank you Seriously - I think that idea of laughing as a defense mechanism is clever.

There have been times when it hasn't quite worked, and then people really flip their lid because they aren't being taken seriouslyI may have misunderstood you - I thought you meant laugh inside, by yourself not antagonising the arguing couple further.

I laugh to myself everytime, but more often than not, I will laugh out loud, which makes those arguing wonder what is so funny and then realise it is them making a fool of themselves"
Well that is definitely a good outcome!

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By *hris148Man
over a year ago

.


"If I witness people arguing, I just want to laugh, I can't help it.

I suppose it is some sort of defence mechanism that is denying any possibility that the arguement is actually a serious matterThat is sucha good point!

Why thank you Seriously - I think that idea of laughing as a defense mechanism is clever.

There have been times when it hasn't quite worked, and then people really flip their lid because they aren't being taken seriouslyI may have misunderstood you - I thought you meant laugh inside, by yourself not antagonising the arguing couple further.

I laugh to myself everytime, but more often than not, I will laugh out loud, which makes those arguing wonder what is so funny and then realise it is them making a fool of themselvesWell that is definitely a good outcome! "

It also works on individuals who have lost their temper

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By *oxerjoshleeMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

Depends on the conflict.

No one can change how an individual thinks or behaves and no matter what you say you are unlikely to change any views they have which has brought them to their agitated state. But what you can do is control how that person reacts to you through your approach.

Done correctly and you can diffuse most situations.

I studied conflict management as part of my job and have been in the middle of some very tense situations but using the above tecnique has always seen me through.

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By *phrodite OP   Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Depends on the conflict.

No one can change how an individual thinks or behaves and no matter what you say you are unlikely to change any views they have which has brought them to their agitated state. But what you can do is control how that person reacts to you through your approach.

Done correctly and you can diffuse most situations.

I studied conflict management as part of my job and have been in the middle of some very tense situations but using the above tecnique has always seen me through.

"
Do you manage to stay calm inside while managing/ diffusing other people's conflict?

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

The last argument I witnessed made me sigh with derision. I detached myself from the situation and let them get on with it.

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By *oxerjoshleeMan
over a year ago

Sheffield


"Depends on the conflict.

No one can change how an individual thinks or behaves and no matter what you say you are unlikely to change any views they have which has brought them to their agitated state. But what you can do is control how that person reacts to you through your approach.

Done correctly and you can diffuse most situations.

I studied conflict management as part of my job and have been in the middle of some very tense situations but using the above tecnique has always seen me through.

Do you manage to stay calm inside while managing/ diffusing other people's conflict? "

Always. I'm a very calm person by nature. I'm a great believer in life is too short to get angry.

..and let's face it, if someone manages to get you angry, you've lost the fight.

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By *phrodite OP   Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"The last argument I witnessed made me sigh with derision. I detached myself from the situation and let them get on with it. "
Sometimes it is the best maybe even the only true self protection to detach.

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By *phrodite OP   Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Depends on the conflict.

No one can change how an individual thinks or behaves and no matter what you say you are unlikely to change any views they have which has brought them to their agitated state. But what you can do is control how that person reacts to you through your approach.

Done correctly and you can diffuse most situations.

I studied conflict management as part of my job and have been in the middle of some very tense situations but using the above tecnique has always seen me through.

Do you manage to stay calm inside while managing/ diffusing other people's conflict?

Always. I'm a very calm person by nature. I'm a great believer in life is too short to get angry.

..and let's face it, if someone manages to get you angry, you've lost the fight.

"
True, I just thoughtif the fight is between two other people - whether you can stay unemotional, detached.

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By *oxerjoshleeMan
over a year ago

Sheffield


"Depends on the conflict.

No one can change how an individual thinks or behaves and no matter what you say you are unlikely to change any views they have which has brought them to their agitated state. But what you can do is control how that person reacts to you through your approach.

Done correctly and you can diffuse most situations.

I studied conflict management as part of my job and have been in the middle of some very tense situations but using the above tecnique has always seen me through.

Do you manage to stay calm inside while managing/ diffusing other people's conflict?

Always. I'm a very calm person by nature. I'm a great believer in life is too short to get angry.

..and let's face it, if someone manages to get you angry, you've lost the fight.

True, I just thoughtif the fight is between two other people - whether you can stay unemotional, detached."

You have to stay detatched to successfully diffuse the situation. You need the agressors to buy into you as a person and then get them to respond to what you want them to do. If you start to discuss the ins and outs of the argument it only adds fuel to the fire.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Depends on the conflict.

No one can change how an individual thinks or behaves and no matter what you say you are unlikely to change any views they have which has brought them to their agitated state. But what you can do is control how that person reacts to you through your approach.

Done correctly and you can diffuse most situations.

I studied conflict management as part of my job and have been in the middle of some very tense situations but using the above tecnique has always seen me through.

Do you manage to stay calm inside while managing/ diffusing other people's conflict?

Always. I'm a very calm person by nature. I'm a great believer in life is too short to get angry.

..and let's face it, if someone manages to get you angry, you've lost the fight.

"

it also depends on how you go into the situation.

When i first started in my job i was a little more hot headed but over the years became more and more relaxed and able to detatch my own feelings.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I have grown very patient over the year due to my job and I have learnt that sometimes if you mimic the person confronting you they take a step back...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it's other people arguing I tend to try and diffuse the situation. If it's aimed at me then I react differently dependng on who the other person is.

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By *orkieMan
over a year ago

Who knows


"conflict as it evolves in front of you? The anger management thread made me think of this.

What happens when people argue and even fight in your presence? Do you cower in the corner, try to reason with them and what goes on inside you while the drama unfolds?"

Depends on which role I take, if its while I am working then its observe, try and diffuse the verbals and separate, if it escalates to physical then both parties have to be removed.

If its a good friend or family and Im not working then I watch their backs in case it goes pear shaped but 9 times out of 10 its always handbags at 5 paces whichever way you look at it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tend to reason , inside I get really anxious

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