FabSwingers.com forum: Should you have sex on the first date?

By *hagTonight OP Man
4 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.

I will set the scene first before i am asking the question. i watched an episode in eastenders and there they argued back and forth about if they should or not have sex, they sat in the car, the guy was abit annoyed, because when he made a move, she didnt want to do it, he said how much he had splashed out on her, like dinner and everything, she didnt want anything to do with it and left the car.

That got me thinking, when you are dating and if the other person dont want to have sex when you want it early on in the dating game, how would you take it, would you wait or leave after lets say 4 dates?

I would wait, because some things are worth waiting for, like relationships, if you really like the person too

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By *nya NeesWoman
4 weeks ago

Brum

That's deep for this time of day

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
4 weeks ago

Wherever

I think in a situation like this it’s only going to be obvious how incompatible people are. Nobody should ever feel obligated to anything.

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By *haron1701ETV/TS
4 weeks ago

Southport

Sex on first date shouldn't be 'expected' or demanded full stop.

I'd rather show a little respect and restraint.

If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, it doesn't.

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By *antasdeerideMan
4 weeks ago

winfrith

It's an in the moment thing surely ,first date suggests little knowledge of that person or could suggest you've known them yonks but have only just plucked up the courage to meet ,it depends what you do on that date ,if its romantic you may well end up between the sheets if it's an adventurous date who knows ,I certainly would always be respectful of what the lady wanted or didn't want but I also suspect the way she rebuffs you might be an indication of whether you will ever get that opportunity again .

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By (user no longer on site)
4 weeks ago

It's not expected or obligated but if it happens it happens

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By *aron Von RingsplitterMan
4 weeks ago

Mottram St Andrew

If this was a date for a potential vanilla relationship, whilst it's in no way a judgement on anyone, personally I would wait.

I've never gone on a 2nd date with someone who has put out on tge 1st. I just lose interest in them.

As for the fact the character paid a lot for the date, any expectation of sex makes her a whore in his eyes so it's doomed anyway. Men always pay for booty, it's the unwritten tradition.

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By *heelerMan
4 weeks ago

Northants

If the woman suggests and wants it who am I to refuse

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By *riar BelisseWoman
4 weeks ago

Delightful Bliss

At this time in my life I'd rather have sex on the first date. I'm kinky, so I want to know if we are compatible. I'd rather not go on 4 dates, getting to know each other and then find out we are not good together sexually. Being friendzoned is not always received well...

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By *iker JackMan
4 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

No one “should” feel they have to do anything or any expectation for something to happen

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By *vaRose43Woman
4 weeks ago

Forest of Dean

So he was upset he’d paid for dinner etc and she didn’t put out? Sounds like she had a narrow escape and he decided to wave his red flags early on.

Unless someone is a sex worker it’s not a transaction based on what the other person has spent (in time, money, effort - whatever). Consent is the key.

As for fucking on a first date that’s really down to the individuals

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
4 weeks ago

East Sussex

If you want to.

Nobody should expect sex because they paid for dinner or did the washing up though

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
4 weeks ago

Reading

I dont date but I always have a no sex social first.

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By *inkyropecoupleCouple
4 weeks ago

carluke

If both want it, all good, if someone doesn’t want it, respect that person’s wishes

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By *eachsidebestiesCouple
4 weeks ago

Kings Lynn

"So he was upset he’d paid for dinner etc and she didn’t put out? Sounds like she had a narrow escape and he decided to wave his red flags early on.

Unless someone is a sex worker it’s not a transaction based on what the other person has spent (in time, money, effort - whatever). Consent is the key.

As for fucking on a first date that’s really down to the individuals "

My thoughts exactly x

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By *ellinever70Woman
4 weeks ago

Ayrshire

I wouldn't have sex on a first date now.

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By *ripfillMan
4 weeks ago

Paris, New York, Hong Kong and Havant

Always a social first … I think it’s only right to learn a bit about the person first,

I never mind about buying coffee or lunch too

Delighted in fact.

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By *lue Eyed JokerMan
4 weeks ago

Always on the move

Not on a first date....unless it's a secret santa gift?

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By *tu.xMan
4 weeks ago

around

"I will set the scene first before i am asking the question. i watched an episode in eastenders and there they argued back and forth about if they should or not have sex, they sat in the car, the guy was abit annoyed, because when he made a move, she didnt want to do it, he said how much he had splashed out on her, like dinner and everything, she didnt want anything to do with it and left the car.

I would wait, because some things are worth waiting for, like relationships, if you really like the person too

"
you lost me at east enders

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By *wiss Army KnifeMan
4 weeks ago

Second star to the right…

"That's deep for this time of day"

Just a bit but the answer is quite clear to me.

Buying dinner, drinks or paying for a night out etc doesn’t buy you the right to have sex!!

If she doesn’t feel like it and wants to wait, no pressure should be applied.

Sometimes a great night out, with chemistry being felt by both of you leads to sex on the first date.

No expectations should be had on both sides, it either happens organically or it doesn’t.

That’s my two cents worth.

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By *oxy-RedWoman
4 weeks ago

pink panther territory

Nope never I need to get to know him a little first

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By *ernow1982Man
4 weeks ago

Plymouth

[Removed by poster at 11/12/24 09:05:16]

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By *mf123Man
4 weeks ago

with one foot out the door

Yes its called an interview i need to check her cv

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By *rHotNottsMan
4 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Was it Carole from the launderette? I would do her on the first date.

It’s been about 20 years since I watched the EastEnders, Is she even still alive ? If not, then I retract the above comment.

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By *rHotNottsMan
4 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"So he was upset he’d paid for dinner etc and she didn’t put out? Sounds like she had a narrow escape and he decided to wave his red flags early on. "

Luckily, it’s just a fictional show that would never happen in real life / FAB. If it was FAB, he would also be complaining that he shaved his pubes for nothing

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By *erfHerder74Man
4 weeks ago

Inverclyde

If there is an attraction and no sex after 4 dates that’s accceptable

If they haven’t kissed or held your hand or been excited to see you then I would ask if questions, not to get sex but to understand them more, they could be autistic, asexual, demisexual etc

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By (user no longer on site)
4 weeks ago

Yes. Always.

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By (user no longer on site)
4 weeks ago

If you want to.

If someone took me out on a date and expected sex from me because they paid for dinner, they would leave disappointed.

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By *mmaleiaWoman
4 weeks ago

Trowbridge

1st date I’d make my own way there, offer to go Dutch & probably arrange another date if I wanted to take it further.

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By *agic.MMan
4 weeks ago

Orpington

"1st date I’d make my own way there, offer to go Dutch & probably arrange another date if I wanted to take it further.

👏

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By *espacito56Man
4 weeks ago

Orkney

If you expect a fuck for a cash outlay just find a h@@ker. Much less complex and stressful

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By *espacito56Man
4 weeks ago

Orkney

"If you want to.

If someone took me out on a date and expected sex from me because they paid for dinner, they would leave disappointed. "

Bravo

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By *ucka39Man
4 weeks ago

Newcastle

It's never expected, but does happen, as we end up having a good connection/chemistry

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By *agic.MMan
4 weeks ago

Orpington

I wouldn't expect sex on the first date...as a matter of fact I'd probably be a bit suspicious if a woman is willing to have sex on the first meet (unless we had been chatting online/whaatsapp for a while and got to know eachother a bit). There's no time frame for such a decision...keep it natural, spontaneous and comfortable. If after a day or a week or month of dating, you as a man want to take the "relationship" to the next level, and she doesn't want to, than make the choice that makes the most sense to you (being waiting or leaving) - just don't be a dick about it

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By *olfandtazCouple
4 weeks ago

Bristol

I work on a 3rd date rule, by that stage you should know if you want to see the other person naked or not lol

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By *he AmbassadorMan
4 weeks ago

IRLANDA. / Prague. / Cil Dara

Every date is different, if there is raw chemistry then more than likely,,

I would suggest

Have sex as offen as the situation presents itself,

You never know one of you or both might walk out under a bus and then you missed out.

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By *hagTonight OP Man
4 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.

"I think in a situation like this it’s only going to be obvious how incompatible people are. Nobody should ever feel obligated to anything. "
Hi _eeliciouschaos, yes, you are right there, nobody should ever feel obligated to anything

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By *ansoffateMan
4 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

"I work on a 3rd date rule, by that stage you should know if you want to see the other person naked or not lol "

I have a friend who uses the reverse 3 date rule: If she has sex before the third date she ends it as she's obviously too into them.

It doesn't work but she is adamant it does.

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By *nya NeesWoman
4 weeks ago

Brum

If you want to and they want to then absolutely.

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By *teve691000Man
4 weeks ago

West Midlands

If the chemicals are flowing yes why not. Otherwise a social and see what happens on the next meet or two.

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By * and R cple4Couple
4 weeks ago

swansea

Thankfully i have never dated.. But if i did and someone took me out to dinner and offered to pay then got annoyed that i didn't drop my knickers i would be put right off them and definitely wouldn't meet them again

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By *imples24Man
4 weeks ago

tamworth

What ever feels right for both parties at the time

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
4 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly

Any question which starts with “should you” puts my hackles up. Shove off with those societal musturbations. I will do as I feel.

Mrs TMN x

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By *ny1localMan
4 weeks ago

READING

In my younger days third date was the norm for anything 'naughty ',before that it was getting to know them. Different days then,and, also different attitudes that was considered normal and acceptable at that time.

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By (user no longer on site)
4 weeks ago

Hi, it definitely up to the individual bit most importantly be safe and comfortable x

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By *issBellaWoman
4 weeks ago

Wales

I tend not to put out on a "first date." Although I did once we had a date around the Christmas markets, went home got ready and met back up at our works' Christmas do.

All I'm going to say is that the all-inclusive bar went down a treat, I ended the night at his telling him I liked anal 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

I found out in the morning that his mum and dad had been home, so they'd heard it all too 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️😂😂😂😂

I thought he was home alone 😬😬😬😬

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By *oodmessMan
4 weeks ago

yumsville

I've not had a vanilla date in that long it'd feel odd not shagging on first meeting. I think if I were to be invited for a second date in a vanilla setting I'd be thinking she's looking for a relationship or bf. I'd likely friend zone them or end up friend zoned as I wouldn't have a clue how to approach it.

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By *oodmessMan
4 weeks ago

yumsville

^ that's not saying I've ever paid for a meal to get a fab shag either

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By *vaRose43Woman
4 weeks ago

Forest of Dean

"I tend not to put out on a "first date." Although I did once we had a date around the Christmas markets, went home got ready and met back up at our works' Christmas do.

I found out in the morning that his mum and dad had been home, so they'd heard it all too 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️😂😂😂😂

I thought he was home alone 😬😬😬😬"

Hahahahaha

Did his dad give him a fist bump at breakfast? 🤣🤣🤣🤣

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By *annyDanielleMan
4 weeks ago

Street, Somerset

Get it in while you can.

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By *ickleTheWonderSchlongMan
4 weeks ago

Ends

Not if you have any self respect.

I don’t by the way.

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By *ansoffateMan
4 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

"Any question which starts with “should you” puts my hackles up. Shove off with those societal musturbations. I will do as I feel.

Mrs TMN x"

🫡 well said Ma'am

We should do as we feel Ma'am!

Tell us more!

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By *OVE-PORNMan
4 weeks ago

las vegas

If the chemistry is right why not

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By *annyDanielleMan
4 weeks ago

Street, Somerset

So you've taken the time and effort to brush your hair and drive to a specific location that could well be over 5 minutes away. You've dipped into your wallet and bought them a Big Mac, you might even splash out and make it a meal. You've made idle chit chat for at least the time it takes them to eat it.

Quite frankly i'd expect nothing less.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
4 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"Any question which starts with “should you” puts my hackles up. Shove off with those societal musturbations. I will do as I feel.

Mrs TMN x

🫡 well said Ma'am

We should do as we feel Ma'am!

Tell us more!"

🤣🤣

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By *endalshaggersCouple
4 weeks ago

Kendal

I had sex with Mr within the first week of us dating - no pressure on either of us - but we had been speaking for months and met up loads of times first before becoming "official".

If i was to go out on dates now, absolutely not on the first date unless the first date was absolutely electrifying and it was obvious we'd certainly be looking at a serious relationship. If it was just a first date and no obvious spark as such then no.

C xoxo

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By *o_yeur_eyes_onlyMan
4 weeks ago

Londontown

There are no rules! However there should be no expectations on either person to "put out" based on having "splurged out" on a date. A bit cheap....

Go with the vibe and the chemistry. I've had sex on first dates, and also enjoyed the build up towards it.

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By *yneVikingMan
4 weeks ago

Newcastle

Imo it depends how the mood strikes. When looking for love I would know from meeting them if I was just going to fuck and leave or if we would wait. If I liked someone alot from a first date I didn't want to sleep with them on that date as it would put doubts in my mind of, does she do this on every first date.

But tbh I do love fucking on first dates.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
4 weeks ago

North West

"Not if you have any self respect.

I don’t by the way. "

I'd never bang on the first date.

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By *ornucopiaMan
4 weeks ago

Bexley

"If this was a date for a potential vanilla relationship, whilst it's in no way a judgement on anyone, personally I would wait.

I've never gone on a 2nd date with someone who has put out on tge 1st. I just lose interest in them.

As for the fact the character paid a lot for the date, any expectation of sex makes her a whore in his eyes so it's doomed anyway. Men always pay for booty, it's the unwritten tradition."

I need to know what

"I've never gone on a 2nd date with someone who has put out on tge 1st"

means.

It could make all the difference to planning a second date!

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By *issBellaWoman
4 weeks ago

Wales

"I tend not to put out on a "first date." Although I did once we had a date around the Christmas markets, went home got ready and met back up at our works' Christmas do.

I found out in the morning that his mum and dad had been home, so they'd heard it all too 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️😂😂😂😂

I thought he was home alone 😬😬😬😬

Hahahahaha

Did his dad give him a fist bump at breakfast? 🤣🤣🤣🤣"

Don't, I've never wanted the floor to swallow me up more.

Alcohol induced Bella gets me in trouble

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By *ansoffateMan
4 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

The only women I've ever married fucked me on the first date.

Now that's true romance right there.

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By *porty_and_NaughtyCouple
4 weeks ago

Swansea

People can do as they wish. If it feels right, then go for it.

For myself, when I was dating whilst also on Fab, I chose not to have sex on the first date. I think I wanted a separation of fab meets to dates. On a date I wanted to show more of the person I am but not have sex. Yet on Fab meets I kept a part of myself held back and was more interested in sex.

I will caveat the above with the fact that sexual compatibility was extremely important to me before I could contemplate a relationship with a person. So I wouldn't want to go beyond a second date without having had sex.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
4 weeks ago

Yes

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By *rSircumsizedMan
4 weeks ago

Newport

Fuck aye

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By *ohn.Wick.Man
4 weeks ago

The Continental

If you want to, yes.

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By *hagTonight OP Man
4 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.

"At this time in my life I'd rather have sex on the first date. I'm kinky, so I want to know if we are compatible. I'd rather not go on 4 dates, getting to know each other and then find out we are not good together sexually. Being friendzoned is not always received well..."
Hi christabellend, yes, that is right, it is a good way to see if you are compatible with the other one too

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By *ortySwitchMan
4 weeks ago

london

"Should you have sex on the first date? "

No. You should eat them all first, then have sex after

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By *hagTonight OP Man
4 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.

"If the chemistry is right why not "
Yes, if the chemistry is right, it is good too

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By *ad NannaWoman
4 weeks ago

East London

If I was asked out on an actual date I'd see red flags galore if the man assumed we were having sex afterwards.

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By *cLovin2Man
4 weeks ago

Reading

You make an excellent point, if you are seeing someone it's important to know if you're both sexually compatible, why wait until the 3rd date.

Personally I have had sex on a first date, I didn't expect it. Nor should it be expected.

But I do find the whole wait until the 3rd date thing somewhat of a ritual, if it feels right, just go for it.

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By *porty_and_NaughtyCouple
4 weeks ago

Swansea

I'm always cautious of words like should/shouldn't, ought/ought not. People use them when they think others should comply with what they believe instead accepting that others have different views.

Personally, I think anyone expecting sex in return for having spent money is a huge red flag but each to their own.

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By *ornucopiaMan
4 weeks ago

Bexley

"If I was asked out on an actual date I'd see red flags galore if the man assumed we were having sex afterwards.

Even on Fab?

Perhaps I'm mixing up dates with meets!

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By *hagTonight OP Man
4 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.

"Was it Carole from the launderette? I would do her on the first date.

It’s been about 20 years since I watched the EastEnders, Is she even still alive ? If not, then I retract the above comment."
Did you mean carol jackson? No, it was ravis daughter avani who was in the car, the scene can be seen from the 17th october too.

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By *r.XratedMan
4 weeks ago

Liverpool/New York

"That's deep for this time of day"

An actress said to the bishop

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By *rettCoolMan
4 weeks ago

Dunfermline

If its with me certainly .. lol

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By *mizhereMan
4 weeks ago

Thame area

Yes

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By *layfullsamMan
4 weeks ago

Solihull

Maybe have sex before the first date to get it out of the way

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By *hGlobbitsMan
4 weeks ago

Leeds

In most cases, I'd be more than happy to have sex on the first date, assuming the date went well. Why wait, right?

That said, if the lady in question wasn't comfortable moving that quickly, of course I'd be prepared to wait. You'd have to be a cast-iron dickhead to pressure someone for sex (and, from a selfish perspective, the sex is generally significantly better if both parties are fully into the idea).

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By *hagTonight OP Man
4 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.

"I work on a 3rd date rule, by that stage you should know if you want to see the other person naked or not lol "
Hi _olfandtaz, yes, that 3rd date rule is a good one too

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By *oodmessMan
4 weeks ago

yumsville

"That's deep for this time of day

An actress said to the bishop"

Took you near three days for that.

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By *hagTonight OP Man
3 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.

"If you want to.

Nobody should expect sex because they paid for dinner or did the washing up though"
Hi nicecouple, yes, you are right there, nobody should expect sex because they have payed for dinner or done things too

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
3 weeks ago

East Sussex

"If you want to.

Nobody should expect sex because they paid for dinner or did the washing up thoughHi nicecouple, yes, you are right there, nobody should expect sex because they have payed for dinner or done things too

I think it's a shame when people expect sex as a reward. It always concerns me a bit when a guy complains he's not getting enough sex and someone suggests he does more around the house as if his partner might reward him with sex for maintaining his own property.

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By *odevilWoman
3 weeks ago

exeter

I generally think it's better to approach any situation with no expectations.

Personally, I think "no sex on 1st date" is a dumb rule.

If you're feeling it, (and the feeling is mutual) do it. If not, don't.

It's also very funny to ask earnestly when things are hotting up:

"Will you still respect me in the morning?" And them cackle maniacally. Pro tip right there.

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By *tead88Man
3 weeks ago

nine elms

I think it very much depends on the vibe. Never go into a date expecting anything and if it ends up in consensual sex then fair play

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By *with1Man
3 weeks ago

South East London

When on a first date or on the umpteenth date sex should never be assumed or dating to get sex no matter how much cash has been splashed out on the date. Any kind of sexual acts should only happen when both are comfortable, ready and want each other only then would sex be special and fulfilling.

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By *ndian_jmCouple
3 weeks ago

Wigston

What a shit questions

Answer if it feels right and both want yes

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By *layfullsamMan
3 weeks ago

Solihull

Tomorrow’s never promised for any of us so if the opportunity arises (excuse the pun) and the desire is mutual I’d say hell yes and enjoy the moment

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By (user no longer on site)
3 weeks ago

The last time I went on a date was October 24th 1990.

We had drinks at the local pub and he walked me home, we had a very nice kiss at the garden gate.

Now it's just sex and no dating.

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By *ingdangTV/TS
3 weeks ago

manchester

this is not a dating site. People here are for sex, not for dating

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