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Sex and unexpected body functions

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By *elix Sighted OP   Man
11 weeks ago

Cloud 8

Have you ever yawned during sex? Did you get grief for it?

Have you ever sneezed on someone’s face/bits?

Did you fart while they were ‘down there’? Was it a corker and properly stink?

Did you ever get a bout of hiccups?

Spill all here (just not your body juices)

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By *eneralKenobiMan
11 weeks ago

North Angus

Someone once coughed so hard I was almost sent flying across the room

(Exaggeration for comedic effect)

But still, I was ejected 😂

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By *ell GwynnWoman
11 weeks ago

North Yorkshire

I have laughed penes out of my foof before. I can't think what was so funny. I must have queefed or something.

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By *aitonelMan
11 weeks ago

Liverpool

I don't know how true as I can thankfully say it did not happen to me.

However brace yourselves...

My mate told me once, he and his now ex were at it, she was on top and getting pretty close then suddenly... Shit. Shit everywhere.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
11 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

Bodies do silly things sometimes. But sex should be fun. A little laughter break now and again isn't a bad thing.

I remember one time I was giving head and he was almost there, then he suddenly pulled my head away and I thought he was just trying to stop me getting to swallow his cum, so I fought to stay. And the stubbornness made him laugh, which pushed out the incredibly raucous fart he was holding in that had caused him to try and pull my head away.

We had to stop for quite a while to let the laughter subside, and to burn some incense before returning to the room 💜

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By *ensuallover1000Man
11 weeks ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Not sex but I did once inadvertently belch into a woman’s mouth whilst kissing her 😵‍💫

I was bent over in an uncomfortable position at the time to be fair….

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By *enelope2UWoman
11 weeks ago

Doesn't matter cant block distances

Yeah a few of those 🤣🤣

I've burped while giving a BJ.

I've had spells of hiccups while he was doing oral and he stopped got me a drink and carried on.

I've tapped out and fell asleep waking up To him smiling earlier to ear.

Fucking who you also enjoy being around has it's perks it just becomes another story to laugh about.

Plus too many other more traumatic bodily fluids issues to post. All still funny though

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
11 weeks ago

A den in the Glen

For me. Have been farted on during 69.

Best I've heard first hand; a wife was guiding her hubby into the ass of their female playmate. He withdrew and put came a pooball nestled on/around his cock. They both looked at each other, she flicked it off and it stuck on the TV.

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By *mf123Man
11 weeks ago

with one foot out the door

I once spunked into a fart as it arrived

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By *layfull pairingCouple
11 weeks ago

Bristol

Had a girl riding up on top who suddenly stiffened and cried out .. I pompously assumed she was in mid throws of a fantastic orgasm...turned out she had cramp in both legs ... made a right old fuss about it too ....

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By *vaRose43Woman
11 weeks ago

Forest of Dean

Let’s see

Yes, I’m afraid I’ve farted. Luckily not on someone’s face and at the time I was in the middle of climax

Queefs happen

I’ve also definitely fallen asleep in the past… and yes I snore

So…. Line up boys. What a catch 🤣

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By *ir-March-a-lotMan
11 weeks ago

london

I’ve witnessed some queefs and farts which I’ve found amusing.

I’ve also cracked a joke in my partners ear after climax that had us in hysterics

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By *ad NannaWoman
11 weeks ago

East London

I regurgitated some tuna, mayo sandwich onto a penis I was deep throating. Tasted awful and he had to shower straight away.

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By *vaRose43Woman
11 weeks ago

Forest of Dean


"I regurgitated some tuna, mayo sandwich onto a penis I was deep throating. Tasted awful and he had to shower straight away."

Oh noooo 🤣

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By *eneralKenobiMan
11 weeks ago

North Angus


"I don't know how true as I can thankfully say it did not happen to me.

However brace yourselves...

My mate told me once, he and his now ex were at it, she was on top and getting pretty close then suddenly... Shit. Shit everywhere. "

I wanted to forget this moment but yes I was gifted the ice cream cone of bleghhh before 🤢

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By (user no longer on site)
11 weeks ago


"I regurgitated some tuna, mayo sandwich onto a penis I was deep throating. Tasted awful and he had to shower straight away."

I bet he smiles when he walks past them now whilst choosing the meal deal of the day

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By *ansoffateMan
11 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

I think all of this weird idiosyncratic, is usually a source of humour.

Sometimes they can become quite adorable, I think that's the level of comfort with each other.

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By *hatKlungeEnigmaMan
11 weeks ago

St Leonards


"I once spunked into a fart as it arrived "

Is that a funk or a spart 🤔?

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By *uilder.funMan
11 weeks ago

Bristol

If you knock on poos door long enough, don't be surprised if one day he answers.

All jokes aside, it happens we're all, well most of us, humans. Make light of it have a laugh then carry on. Never make someone feel bad.

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By *r.and.Mrs.DSCouple
11 weeks ago

N. Wales

Both of us get cramps from time to time, that's annoying af.

I've definitely farted. I've had to stop mid-orgasm because I felt I was going to shit myself if I let go 🤣

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By *elix Sighted OP   Man
11 weeks ago

Cloud 8

Only just had a chance to look over these and they made me chuckle! Thank you for your fables of filth.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
11 weeks ago

North West

An ex pissed in my mouth at the point he thought he was reaching orgasm. Vile

Plenty of queefs and suchlike.

I get hip and leg cramps fairly frequently.

There was definitely a poo related incident relating to a DP scenario too

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By *urry BlokeMan
11 weeks ago

Stalybridge

Going to sleep whilst getting blown

That's happened at least twice (with different people)

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
11 weeks ago

3rd Rock from the sun

I farted while my fwb was giving me oral in a threesome with my hudb.. we hadn't known each other long either 🤣

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By *zeroMan
11 weeks ago

Glasgow

I had my leg go into cramp during a threesome and made a meal of trying to fix my positioning.

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By *ayandsusieMan
11 weeks ago

Milton Keynes

The first time I gave an assertive male a really deep rimming, I was so worked up and horny that I prematurely shot my load untouched! I was so aroused as my tongue penetrated his wet flexing ring, deeper and deeper that I lost control and spurted all over my stomach!

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By *oneyVWoman
11 weeks ago

Cirencester

Ejected lol !!!

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By *mmaleiaWoman
11 weeks ago

Trowbridge


"Had a girl riding up on top who suddenly stiffened and cried out .. I pompously assumed she was in mid throws of a fantastic orgasm...turned out she had cramp in both legs ... made a right old fuss about it too .... "

That’s so painful, I’ve had that a few times

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By *mmaleiaWoman
11 weeks ago

Trowbridge

I’ve fallen asleep during a very soft spooning, I did warn him, he loved it

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By *andH 23Man
11 weeks ago

Luton


"I don't know how true as I can thankfully say it did not happen to me.

However brace yourselves...

My mate told me once, he and his now ex were at it, she was on top and getting pretty close then suddenly... Shit. Shit everywhere. "

That’s happened to me twice 🤣🤣🫣 managed to laugh it off with both women promising to keep it a secret

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By *orthern BeardMan
11 weeks ago

Warwickshire

I’ve had cramp quite a few times. I did fall asleep once while she was giving me head. I was insanely tired and had a few too many drinks.

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By *r.and.Mrs.DSCouple
11 weeks ago

N. Wales

Oh, another!! I've unexpectedly coughed and yeeted him right outta there. I pre-warm when I can, so he can batten down the hatches 😅

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By *ornycougaWoman
11 weeks ago

MADERIA Wherever I lay my hat


"I’ve had cramp quite a few times. I did fall asleep once while she was giving me head. I was insanely tired and had a few too many drinks.

"

I have fallen asleep whilst giving head. I was insanely tired and had a few too many drinks.

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By *ripfillMan
11 weeks ago

Paris, New York, Hong Kong and Havant

I once a few years ago threw up whilst in the missionary position

It was after a cider and sausage fest … both showered but it was really embarrassing

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