FabSwingers.com forum: Help

By *rcraig OP Man
11 weeks ago

alfreton

So me and wife were swingers but 5 years ago we met and guy who became her regular fuck buddy now boyfriend. And we haven’t slept together for over three months yet she still sees him. And only him. I’m so lonely what should I do I don’t want to split them up but I don’t want to leave and every time I bring sex up I feel like it’s not wanted so I stop or she tells me to.

What should I do x

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By *eronicaExplorerWoman
11 weeks ago

London

Sorry OP

I would like to say to you, look for a regular, but it's hard to find. I haven't found it yet for myself either

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By *orphia2003Woman
11 weeks ago

Tonypandy.

You need to sit down with her and explain how you feel.

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By *rcraig OP Man
11 weeks ago

alfreton

"Sorry OP

I would like to say to you, look for a regular, but it's hard to find. I haven't found it yet for myself either

I wish I could. No one seems interested I just feel like giving up. And have no one to talk to

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By *rcraig OP Man
11 weeks ago

alfreton

I so do I’ve tried but I’m scared she will feel forced to be intermet and I just want her to want me again

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By *ucka39Man
11 weeks ago

Newcastle

"I so do I’ve tried but I’m scared she will feel forced to be intermet and I just want her to want me again "

Hiya

Your only solution is to talk about it with her, then you know where things are and figure out where your next steps

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By *eroLondonMan
11 weeks ago

Mayfair

I'm sorry to hear this. I can't stress this enough that you really need to discuss this whole matter with your wife.

Without knowing the full setup it •appears• that she has changed the dynamic of your arrangement where she is able to fulfill all her desires and leave you within the realms of celibacy. In doing so it appears to be 'borderline' infidelity, of sorts, on her part.

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By *rcraig OP Man
11 weeks ago

alfreton

I know your right x

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By *ucka39Man
11 weeks ago

Newcastle

"I know your right x"

Isn't it a open relationship you have?

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By *rcraig OP Man
11 weeks ago

alfreton

"I know your right x

Isn't it an open relationship you have?"

Yeah but I struggle to find anyone

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By (user no longer on site)
11 weeks ago

"So me and wife were swingers but 5 years ago we met and guy who became her regular fuck buddy now boyfriend. And we haven’t slept together for over three months yet she still sees him. And only him. I’m so lonely what should I do I don’t want to split them up but I don’t want to leave and every time I bring sex up I feel like it’s not wanted so I stop or she tells me to.

What should I do x"

Chin him

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
11 weeks ago

Herts/Beds/Lomdon

You’ve been friend zoned in your marriage.

Talk to her, make it clear how you feel. If she can’t or won’t make changes to the arrangement you will need to decide if this is a life you’re prepared to settle for or whether you deserve better for yourself.

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By *tu.xMan
11 weeks ago

around

What should I do x"
tell her its not working for you see what she suggests you might not like the answer but at least you can choose to stick or twist

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By *issmorganWoman
11 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

"You’ve been friend zoned in your marriage.

Nail on head.

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By *rHotNottsMan
11 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I can’t figure out what the problem is from your post OP, sounds like an ideal situation for many 😂😂

Seriously , what is you want ? Sexual relationship with your wife, her to end with her fb , or a fb of your own and a sexless marriage , I think once you figure that out you’ve solved 99% of this simple little puzzle

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By *ABflirtyWoman
11 weeks ago

Norwich

You need too sit her down and have a heart to heart . x

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By *assy69Man
11 weeks ago

West Sussex and Wales

"You’ve been friend zoned in your marriage.

this

OP, i hope you manage to move on, either int he relationship you have, or just to move on

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By *porty_and_NaughtyCouple
11 weeks ago

Swansea

Talk to your wife.

Mrs

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
11 weeks ago

East Sussex

I have no idea what you should do. How did it get to this stage and when did you realise this wasn't what you wanted?

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By *veenBeeTV/TS
11 weeks ago

Winchester

What should I do x"

This must be the example why the open relationship is a bad idea... sorry but thank you....

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By *ornycougaWoman
11 weeks ago

MADERIA Wherever I lay my hat

"You’ve been friend zoned in your marriage.

This. Couldn't have put it better.

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By (user no longer on site)
11 weeks ago

As someone Nero eloquently put it you have been friend zoned in your own relationship for another man.

It’s a heartbreaking situation and if she is not willing to talk about it and get to the root of the problem.

You have some tough decisions ahead, it’s already getting to you and if it doesn’t change that pain and resentment is only going to get worse.

If it was me, i couldn’t have a relationship with someone who no longer desired me but desired someone else.

I would consider her actions as self centred and would have to decide if I could live like this.

I hope you have someone close to talk things through to decide what the best course of action to take.

Good luck and i hope things get better for you whatever the outcome 🙏

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By *rcraig OP Man
11 weeks ago

alfreton

So update. Yep I’ve been friendzoned spoke to her today and I’m no longer desired x. Thanks for everyone’s help x

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By *allnHandsome12Man
11 weeks ago

Teesside

"So update. Yep I’ve been friendzoned spoke to her today and I’m no longer desired x. Thanks for everyone’s help x"

I’m a bit late to the thread but I’m so sorry, i hope you come to a decision about what you want and grow stronger from it.

Personally, I’d say you deserve better but only you know what makes you feel valued.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
11 weeks ago

Reading

I think this must be quite common in open relationships that it tends to be easier for the woman to find partners.

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By *ildmanYorksMan
11 weeks ago

Doncaster & Bembridge

Similar happened to a former workmate. He and his wife enjoyed swinging but decided to change the dynamic by finding a bull for her. Long story short, the bull started to dictate the arrangement, told my mate he couldn't fuck his wife as she was the bull's property. His wife didn't like what was happening but couldn't stop seeing the bull. The bull moved in and my mate was told to sleep in the spare room. After a few weeks the bull told my mate to leave. He found a flat but was so hurt by what had happened his work suffered. I asked him what was wrong and he confided in me the whole story. He then quit work and I lost touch with him.

A few years later we were on a work's do and some old colleagues turned up. I asked them if anyone had heard from him and was told that all they knew was him and his wife had split up and he'd taken his own life.

You need to talk to your wife and find out where you stand. I don't want what happened to my mate to happen to you

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
11 weeks ago

East Sussex

"So update. Yep I’ve been friendzoned spoke to her today and I’m no longer desired x. Thanks for everyone’s help x"

What are your plans moving forward?

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By *rcraig OP Man
11 weeks ago

alfreton

I’m not sure. Suppose look for someone to fill that gap in our relationship x

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
11 weeks ago

Herts/Beds/Lomdon

"I’m not sure. Suppose look for someone to fill that gap in our relationship x"

If you want to get over a problem, check your ladder isn’t against the wrong wall.

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By *ovefist84Man
11 weeks ago

Oswestry

I fantasised about that,to get my mrs to swinging and find a regular,but now I'm not so sure I want that... I really hope everything sorts out...

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By *veenBeeTV/TS
11 weeks ago

Winchester

[Removed by poster at 10/12/24 18:32:31]

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By *veenBeeTV/TS
11 weeks ago

Winchester

"Similar happened to a former workmate. He and his wife enjoyed swinging but decided to change the dynamic by finding a bull for her. Long story short, the bull started to dictate the arrangement, told my mate he couldn't fuck his wife as she was the bull's property. His wife didn't like what was happening but couldn't stop seeing the bull. The bull moved in and my mate was told to sleep in the spare room. After a few weeks the bull told my mate to leave. He found a flat but was so hurt by what had happened his work suffered. I asked him what was wrong and he confided in me the whole story. He then quit work and I lost touch with him.

You need to talk to your wife and find out where you stand. I don't want what happened to my mate to happen to you

I'm so sorry for him but that sounds pretty fucked up!! How can a man let another man to do that in his own house??

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
11 weeks ago

East Sussex

"I’m not sure. Suppose look for someone to fill that gap in our relationship x"

Do you propose to stay together? I know marriages can take many forms so I'm not advocating separation but are you happy with that?

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By *elix SightedMan
11 weeks ago

Cloud 8

I am honestly staggered by all this. Not just the OP, but also that other guy who took his own life.

Swinging is a wonderful lifestyle but I imagine, for couples, it takes a very healthy relationship as the bedrock and continuous care, respect and trust for each other as individuals and as a couple.

Without all that it seems only too easy to end up down a dark path.

OP, all I can say is you have as much worth as your wife and you deserve respect.

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
11 weeks ago

3rd Rock from the sun

What should I do x

Chin him"

Not really a helpful comment...

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
11 weeks ago

3rd Rock from the sun

"So update. Yep I’ve been friendzoned spoke to her today and I’m no longer desired x. Thanks for everyone’s help x"

Oh that's rough..I'm sorry.. if you ever need a chat my inbox is open xx

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By * and R cple4Couple
11 weeks ago

swansea

You don't say how long you've been married etc but without sounding to harsh for your wife to so easily friend zone you their must have been other issues.

We have known a few couples that thought swinging or a open relationship would paper over the cracks and it just make them cracks even bigger.

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By *rcraig OP Man
11 weeks ago

alfreton

Been together 20 years and had a fantastic relationship just ever since she met this guy x

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By *rcraig OP Man
11 weeks ago

alfreton

"So update. Yep I’ve been friendzoned spoke to her today and I’m no longer desired x. Thanks for everyone’s help x

Oh that's rough..I'm sorry.. if you ever need a chat my inbox is open xx"

Many thanks x

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By *ony MannMan
11 weeks ago

Lagos, Portugal// Andover

You do need to talk to your wife, find out what she wants and tell her what you want.

Then you need to decide where you want to go. Do you want to stay with her or move on.

You are not the first in this position and will not be the last. One man moved in the a famous wife and the famous husband moved to a different room.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
11 weeks ago

East Sussex

"Been together 20 years and had a fantastic relationship just ever since she met this guy x"

Why are you tolerating it?

(Use reply+quote so we know who you're replying to

)

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By *rcraig OP Man
11 weeks ago

alfreton

"Been together 20 years and had a fantastic relationship just ever since she met this guy x

Why are you tolerating it?

(Use reply+quote so we know who you're replying to

I don’t want to hurt her she says she loves us both but seems me more as a friend x

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
11 weeks ago

East Sussex

"Been together 20 years and had a fantastic relationship just ever since she met this guy x

Why are you tolerating it?

(Use reply+quote so we know who you're replying to

)

I don’t want to hurt her she says she loves us both but seems me more as a friend x"

But she's hurting you. Why do you tolerate that hurt?

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By *itygamesMan
11 weeks ago

I'd probably tell the boyfriend to leave your wife alone and end it as its destroying your marriage

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By *rcraig OP Man
11 weeks ago

alfreton

"Been together 20 years and had a fantastic relationship just ever since she met this guy x

Why are you tolerating it?

(Use reply+quote so we know who you're replying to

)

I don’t want to hurt her she says she loves us both but seems me more as a friend x

But she's hurting you. Why do you tolerate that hurt?"

I’d rather me hurt than her hurt x

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By *erdyEstLdner 82Man
11 weeks ago

Ilford

"You do need to talk to your wife, find out what she wants and tell her what you want.

Then you need to decide where you want to go. Do you want to stay with her or move on.

You are not the first in this position and will not be the last. One man moved in the a famous wife and the famous husband moved to a different room.

Then you'll be the next one to slap a comedian at the Oscars...

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
11 weeks ago

East Sussex

"Been together 20 years and had a fantastic relationship just ever since she met this guy x

Why are you tolerating it?

(Use reply+quote so we know who you're replying to

)

I don’t want to hurt her she says she loves us both but seems me more as a friend x

But she's hurting you. Why do you tolerate that hurt?

I’d rather me hurt than her hurt x"

I see. Then I wish you all the best.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
11 weeks ago

East Sussex

^^ bur she's playing you for a fool

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By *rcraig OP Man
11 weeks ago

alfreton

Thankyou every one who posted. Even the ones that some people think were wrong in what they were saying. I listened to you all and it helped. Time to get on with things now and stop feeling sorry for myself. Too much fun to be had xx

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