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By (user no longer on site)
11 weeks ago
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It works if you are on the same page and can have control over your emotions. Sure, there is always a chance of catching feelings, but sometimes that depends on what you mean by feelings.
If it's falling in love and both of you aren't wanting that at the same time, then yes it can be bad and will likely end the friendship if it can't be resolved through communication. But if it's loving, in the same sense as loving your friends, then that's perfectly fine (at least to me).
I find allowing myself to feel the friend love enhances the experience anyhow. Intimacy doesn't mean you have to close off every emotion, to be a blank slate and never have any feelings whatsoever.
I guess it all depends on what you're capable of, the people involved, what you're both wanting out of it and how strong the friendship is.
There isn't a set standard for this sort of thing. It can often be chaotic. I wouldn't go into something like FWB, if you were uncertain whether you might end up liking them more than you initially thought.
Communication is absolutely necessary, to keep things in balance. If you feel strongly, talk about it. They might feel the same way.
I'm talking with someone at the moment (not from here), where we are perfect for each other, but circumstances forbid us from taking it further and we're both happy with the dynamic we have, because we've talked about it and gotten everything out.
I care about her, she cares about me. That is more than enough for both of us, so we're carrying on enjoying what we do have and not regretting what we can't.
The most common issue with FWB is that people don't talk or open up about how they feel. Everything gets pushed down and compressed, then over time it just explodes, often with frustration and anger. I've had to walk away, due to a lack of communication and honesty.
It's the one thing I've always done. Be transparent, open and honest. If it doesn't turn out the way you hoped, then at least you've not done anything to make it worse by closing yourself off. |
