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"Are the drinks free? " Of course... Its fab  | |||
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"... Is OPEN!! What you having on this blustery evening ?? 🍺🍹🥂🍷🍸🍶🍵☕🫖🥛" Jd honey please, landlady | |||
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"... Is OPEN!! What you having on this blustery evening ?? 🍺🍹🥂🍷🍸🍶🍵☕🫖🥛" I’d like to order “sours” please… can you please deliver it to the table of football supporters of Manchester football clubs please  | |||
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"... Is OPEN!! What you having on this blustery evening ?? 🍺🍹🥂🍷🍸🍶🍵☕🫖🥛 Jd honey please, landlady " Oh my brother would like that! Coming right up | |||
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"... Is OPEN!! What you having on this blustery evening ?? 🍺🍹🥂🍷🍸🍶🍵☕🫖🥛 I’d like to order “sours” please… can you please deliver it to the table of football supporters of Manchester football clubs please "
Ummmm i don't know how to do that - haven't you seen my age... I'm not sone young sexy techno-nerd  | |||
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"On the tequila rose tonight "Ooooo yummy.. Does it taste like strawberry milkshake???? | |||
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"Is there a Santa's grotto? " Ho ho ho young man, close your eyes and let's find out! | |||
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"I need to get food in me first so just a pint to start " I'm so stuffed i declined pudding
What do you want a pint of???? | |||
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"A red bush tea please. " Ooooo a nice red bush coming up-milk?? | |||
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"Spiced rum with warm apple juice please" Oh that sounds delicious!! 😍 I might join you | |||
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"Is there a Santa's grotto? Ho ho ho young man, close your eyes and let's find out! " I was kind of hoping for some alone time with Mrs Claus but...I gotta get back on that nice list somehow....go easy Santa.... | |||
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"I need to get food in me first so just a pint to start I'm so stuffed i declined pudding
What do you want a pint of???? "Oh just what’s on tap, I imagine there’s a Budweiser or something like that | |||
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"Pussy juice! (Sorry, that thread just tickled me) "
Umm.. That could take a while
Anything else whilst you're waiting 👀 | |||
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"A red bush tea please. Ooooo a nice red bush coming up-milk?? " No ta. Thanks for the smooth service. | |||
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"A red bush tea please. " So the bush matches the knickers ..🤔 | |||
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S | |||
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"Is there a Santa's grotto? Ho ho ho young man, close your eyes and let's find out! I was kind of hoping for some alone time with Mrs Claus but...I gotta get back on that nice list somehow....go easy Santa...." Santa's always gentle.. Just listen for my bells jingling  | |||
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"I need to get food in me first so just a pint to start I'm so stuffed i declined pudding
What do you want a pint of????
Oh just what’s on tap, I imagine there’s a Budweiser or something like that "Ohh lager coming up! | |||
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"I need to get food in me first so just a pint to start I'm so stuffed i declined pudding
What do you want a pint of????
Oh just what’s on tap, I imagine there’s a Budweiser or something like that
Ohh lager coming up! "*pops a tip in the jar Thanks very much bar keep | |||
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"Something massive after a bloody shit week!" Erm double G+T?? With an extra slice  | |||
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"A red bush tea please. Ooooo a nice red bush coming up-milk?? No ta. Thanks for the smooth service. " do you want me to squeeze your bag | |||
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"Could I gave a nice chilled glass of Chardonnay please🥂" Nice choice - large one?? | |||
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"Pussy juice! (Sorry, that thread just tickled me)
Umm.. That could take a while
Anything else whilst you're waiting 👀"And it must be from a high value woman! However, while I wait I'll have a water. But I want a fancy little umbrella in it | |||
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"Spiced rum with warm apple juice please Oh that sounds delicious!! 😍 I might join you" I was just thinking that. Make that three... 🥃🥃🥃 | |||
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"Moscatel wine
S"Oh that is an unusual choice!! A small one?? | |||
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"Could I gave a nice chilled glass of Chardonnay please🥂 Nice choice - large one?? " ooh is that an option too🍆 | |||
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"Just a nice cold pint of Peroni would be nice " Coming up .. Oooooo look at that perfect head | |||
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"Ooooh I'll have a cosmopolitan followed my a few baby Guinness's then maybe a baileys coffee 😋" Blimey that's quite a combination!! Don't be sick on my carpet!! | |||
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"I need to get food in me first so just a pint to start I'm so stuffed i declined pudding
What do you want a pint of????
Oh just what’s on tap, I imagine there’s a Budweiser or something like that
Ohh lager coming up!
*pops a tip in the jar
Thanks very much bar keep "Oo a tip *squeals* | |||
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"Pussy juice! (Sorry, that thread just tickled me)
Umm.. That could take a while
Anything else whilst you're waiting 👀
And it must be from a high value woman!
However, while I wait I'll have a water. But I want a fancy little umbrella in it " its good to stand out from the crowd!
Cute umbrella water coming up! | |||
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"Spiced rum with warm apple juice please Oh that sounds delicious!! 😍 I might join you I was just thinking that. Make that three... 🥃🥃🥃" Yaass welcome to the party! | |||
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"Moscatel wine
S
Oh that is an unusual choice!! A small one?? "Medium. I like the warm feeling in the belly after
S | |||
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"Could I gave a nice chilled glass of Chardonnay please🥂 Nice choice - large one?? ooh is that an option too🍆 " just make a wish and Santa can make it come true | |||
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"Moscatel wine
S
Oh that is an unusual choice!! A small one??
Medium. I like the warm feeling in the belly after
S"Would you like some sweet treats too?? | |||
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"Black Russian please or a black velvet on ice" Ooo is that like a less sweet espresso martini?!? | |||
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"Moscatel wine
S
Oh that is an unusual choice!! A small one??
Medium. I like the warm feeling in the belly after
S
Would you like some sweet treats too?? "Ferrero Roche please. Ti's the season
S | |||
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"Hello lovely, please can I have a sauvignon blanc please? 😘" Hello gorgeous, I've got a new chilled bottle for you especially 💋 | |||
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"I will take a nice cold pint of Stella with a whiskey chaser please and thank you " Coming up.. Which whiskey?? | |||
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"guinness cold please x" Oh I'll bring it over in 10 mins | |||
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"Rum and please" White or dark?? | |||
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"Rum and please White or dark?? " White please | |||
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"Rum and please White or dark?? " 2 parts white 1 part dark rum with a J20 mango | |||
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"Baby Guinness " Cute  | |||
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"Rum and please White or dark?? White please" Ooo that takes me back to my teenage years!! | |||
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"Beer bitter like me at the moment lol..." awww I'll sprinkle some stardust on it for you | |||
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"A rum and shrub...and white wine fruit based drink for the lady...thank you. X Mr." Mmm yummy.. White wine sangria?? | |||
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"Ermmmm I've just had a chocolate sundae and having a cup of tea....... what would you recommend to follow that up!?" Err bed | |||
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"Rum and please White or dark?? 2 parts white 1 part dark rum with a J20 mango " Ohh interesting! On its way | |||
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"Or you can let the red wine monkey out of its cage and see what havoc we can unleash..." Oh nice...how about an Italian valpolicella ripasso?? | |||
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"Drink 🥤 water 💧 " Would you like a fancy umbrella in your water?? Apparently its a new trend | |||
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"I'll have a old speckled hen please," On its way - any snacks?? | |||
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"Mead fit for a viking " I'll just get my wench to bring it over | |||
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"Drink 🥤 water 💧 " ...have you ever seen the hand written note from sober Steve to d*unk Steve telling him to drink water? ...and d*unk Steve's scribbled reply?! 🤣🤣🤣 | |||
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"A double whisky please " Single malt? 🥃🥃 | |||
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"A bulmers for a start" On its way.. Any snacks?? | |||
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"A double whisky please Single malt? 🥃🥃" anything shall doo | |||
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"Your wench is very pleasing " I'm glad she pleases, otherwise I'd have to thrash her and i can't stand the screaming 👀 | |||
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"A smooth, creamy pint of the black stuff for starters please "Gimme 10 mins! | |||
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"A double whisky please Single malt? 🥃🥃 anything shall doo" Anything
Double glenfiddich no 15 coming up | |||
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"A smooth, creamy pint of the black stuff for starters please
Gimme 10 mins! "You can’t rush perfection | |||
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"A smooth, creamy pint of the black stuff for starters please
Gimme 10 mins!
You can’t rush perfection "54 years and counting | |||
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"I do think she may need a spank as she did spill a little " WTH.. I'll sort this out, leave it with me ZELDA!!! GET YOUR SCRAGGY ARSE OVER HERE!!! | |||
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"Belly Fed, pint two si vous plait" Wait what | |||
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"Belly Fed, pint two si vous plait Wait what "I have lined my stomach with chicken fried rice and I’m ready for another pint good lady 🤓 | |||
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"Evening all, Could I have a double whiskey on the rocks please, I’ll make myself at home by the fire "I cannot possibly put ice into a single malt | |||
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"Gin and tonic please! " Would you like a slice with it?? Ice?? Santa?? | |||
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"Evening all, Could I have a double whiskey on the rocks please, I’ll make myself at home by the fire
I cannot possibly put ice into a single malt "I’ll have it neat then!  sorry, faux pass there. | |||
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"Is my high profile pussy juice ready yet? " How many pussies do you have to squeeze to get a glass of juice? 🤔🍸 | |||
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"A smooth, creamy pint of the black stuff for starters please
Gimme 10 mins!
You can’t rush perfection
54 years and counting "And from what I can see.....the wait was worth it | |||
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"Is my high profile pussy juice ready yet? How many pussies do you have to squeeze to get a glass of juice? 🤔🍸" Just 1. Only if it's from a high profile woman though. | |||
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"Could I have a whiskey sour in a heavy crystal tumbler glass xo" Now we're talking! Perfect choice! | |||
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"Is my high profile pussy juice ready yet? How many pussies do you have to squeeze to get a glass of juice? 🤔🍸 Just 1. Only if it's from a high profile woman though. " Ah. Of course. I have missed the thread that describes what a high profile woman is. I think that's probably for the best though. | |||
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"can i have two pints of san miguel please and a baileys with ice,,please" No you can't drink lager and then Baileys 🤮🤮😵💫😵💫 | |||
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"Is my high profile pussy juice ready yet? How many pussies do you have to squeeze to get a glass of juice? 🤔🍸 Just 1. Only if it's from a high profile woman though. Ah. Of course. I have missed the thread that describes what a high profile woman is. I think that's probably for the best though. " You should read it. A few good nuggets in there. | |||
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"Belly Fed, pint two si vous plait Wait what
I have lined my stomach with chicken fried rice and I’m ready for another pint good lady 🤓"But what is Belly Fed
I don't think i have that | |||
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"Now that would be worth seeing " Come back after closing | |||
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"Is my high profile pussy juice ready yet? " 🤮🤮 Zelda has been a bit busy | |||
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"Evening all, Could I have a double whiskey on the rocks please, I’ll make myself at home by the fire
I cannot possibly put ice into a single malt
I’ll have it neat then! sorry, faux pass there. "Most excellent recovery, i commend you on your choice
Double G15 on its way 6 | |||
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"Belly Fed, pint two si vous plait Wait what
I have lined my stomach with chicken fried rice and I’m ready for another pint good lady 🤓
But what is Belly Fed
I don't think i have that "Oh belly fed is just me for “I have eaten” I have my own book of alternative phrases designed to confuse people | |||
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"Is my high profile pussy juice ready yet? How many pussies do you have to squeeze to get a glass of juice? 🤔🍸" Are you offering your drippy pussy Julie | |||
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"A smooth, creamy pint of the black stuff for starters please
Gimme 10 mins!
You can’t rush perfection
54 years and counting
And from what I can see.....the wait was worth it "
Smooooooth | |||
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"Is my high profile pussy juice ready yet? How many pussies do you have to squeeze to get a glass of juice? 🤔🍸 Just 1. Only if it's from a high profile woman though. Ah. Of course. I have missed the thread that describes what a high profile woman is. I think that's probably for the best though. " She bathes in ass' milk daily | |||
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"Christmas cointreau please" Nice choice - ice?? | |||
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"Could I have a bitter lemon with a squeeze on the side please xx" You certainly can - who would you like to squeeze?? | |||
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"A smooth, creamy pint of the black stuff for starters please
Gimme 10 mins!
You can’t rush perfection
54 years and counting
And from what I can see.....the wait was worth it
Smooooooth "Just like my pint will be hopefully | |||
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"Belly Fed, pint two si vous plait Wait what
I have lined my stomach with chicken fried rice and I’m ready for another pint good lady 🤓
But what is Belly Fed
I don't think i have that
Oh belly fed is just me for “I have eaten”
I have my own book of alternative phrases designed to confuse people "🤯 | |||
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"Spiced rum with warm apple juice please Oh that sounds delicious!! 😍 I might join you" It is delicious and please do | |||
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"Could I have a bitter lemon with a squeeze on the side please xx You certainly can - who would you like to squeeze??" Mind if I squeeze your hips xx  | |||
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"A smooth, creamy pint of the black stuff for starters please
Gimme 10 mins!
You can’t rush perfection
54 years and counting
And from what I can see.....the wait was worth it
Smooooooth
Just like my pint will be hopefully "Haha.. And creamy.. It might come with a bite | |||
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"What time do you close x" At this rate 10pm | |||
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"Spiced rum with warm apple juice please Oh that sounds delicious!! 😍 I might join you It is delicious and please do " That's xmas drinks sorted!! | |||
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"A smooth, creamy pint of the black stuff for starters please
Gimme 10 mins!
You can’t rush perfection
54 years and counting
And from what I can see.....the wait was worth it
Smooooooth
Just like my pint will be hopefully
Haha.. And creamy.. It might come with a bite "I hope so | |||
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"Could I have a bitter lemon with a squeeze on the side please xx You certainly can - who would you like to squeeze?? Mind if I squeeze your hips xx " | |||
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"A smooth, creamy pint of the black stuff for starters please
Gimme 10 mins!
You can’t rush perfection
54 years and counting
And from what I can see.....the wait was worth it
Smooooooth
Just like my pint will be hopefully
Haha.. And creamy.. It might come with a bite
I hope so "Yeah sorry about Zelda - she has had her rabies shot | |||
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"I will have a cognac and please and thank you " On its way - ice?? | |||
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"A smooth, creamy pint of the black stuff for starters please
Gimme 10 mins!
You can’t rush perfection
54 years and counting
And from what I can see.....the wait was worth it
Smooooooth
Just like my pint will be hopefully
Haha.. And creamy.. It might come with a bite
I hope so
Yeah sorry about Zelda - she has had her rabies shot"Phew can you get her to stop humping my leg though 🤣 | |||
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"Christmas cointreau please Nice choice - ice??" Yes please | |||
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"A smooth, creamy pint of the black stuff for starters please
Gimme 10 mins!
You can’t rush perfection
54 years and counting
And from what I can see.....the wait was worth it
Smooooooth
Just like my pint will be hopefully
Haha.. And creamy.. It might come with a bite
I hope so
Yeah sorry about Zelda - she has had her rabies shot
Phew can you get her to stop humping my leg though 🤣" | |||
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"Christmas cointreau please Nice choice - ice?? Yes please " Watch out for those sticky fingers | |||
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"A double vodka lime and lemonade... and a double vodka orange juice please 🙏😀" Ooooo juicy choices | |||
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"A bulmers for a start On its way.. Any snacks?? " Some roasted nuts please | |||
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"A bulmers for a start On its way.. Any snacks?? Some roasted nuts please "We've only got salty nuts  | |||
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"A bulmers for a start On its way.. Any snacks?? Some roasted nuts please
We've only got salty nuts "I'll take whatever you've got… as long as it’s strong and memorable. | |||
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"I'll start slow with a double JD on the rocks please 🥃" On its way!! | |||
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"Pint of Guinness please and a packet of Scampi Fries. Fanks "Scampi fries flipping heck
Guinness ia pouring! | |||
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"A bulmers for a start On its way.. Any snacks?? Some roasted nuts please
We've only got salty nuts
I'll take whatever you've got… as long as it’s strong and memorable."Finger licking good | |||
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"Oh go on then it's been a while, jack and please " On its way! | |||
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"Hot toddy for me please " Awww are you poorly? | |||
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"I would like to try an Alaskan duck fart please " Best story for a drink name ever “ It's rumored that a 70-year-old woman came in and sat at the bar, and because of the slow day, began experimenting with Schmidt to create new drink combinations. When she drank the layered, whiskey-topped drink, she let out a distinct noise, a muffled burp that sounded almost like, well a duck fart.” | |||
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"I would like to try an Alaskan duck fart please " | |||
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"Anything, but double " Tequila... It makes you happy 😍😍😍 | |||
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"Don Julio 1942 double pls 🥃" Oh you'll be popular with the ladies!!! | |||
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"Malibu and ... Although a vodka and brings out my (Mrs) very slutty side "Malibu oh my I'll pour one of each | |||
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"I would like to try an Alaskan duck fart please Best story for a drink name ever “ It's rumored that a 70-year-old woman came in and sat at the bar, and because of the slow day, began experimenting with Schmidt to create new drink combinations. When she drank the layered, whiskey-topped drink, she let out a distinct noise, a muffled burp that sounded almost like, well a duck fart.”" 🤣🤣🤣🦆🦆🦆 | |||
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"Malibu and ... Although a vodka and brings out my (Mrs) very slutty side
Malibu oh my
I'll pour one of each " | |||
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