FabSwingers.com forum: Can you be friends with someone you find attractive

By *tephenAndHisPicklenic OP Man
12 weeks ago

Ends

Or do you secretly want to bang them

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By *eronicaExplorerWoman
12 weeks ago

London

Yes, you

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
12 weeks ago

3rd Rock from the sun

I think it's possible.. finding someone attractive and wanting to shag them are very different things

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By *quirrel!Man
12 weeks ago

I am! But it’s risky!

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By *IXEN200Woman
12 weeks ago

newcastle upon tyne

I think so but it would be hard to keep my thoughts under wraps

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By *aitonelMan
12 weeks ago

Liverpool

Both

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By *EAT..85Woman
12 weeks ago

Nottingham

Yes.

I have one relationship like this. There are constant internal conversations over whether to flirt/touch/kiss them. It's hard work sometimes. But I'd rather keep their friendship than have nothing.

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By *tephenAndHisPicklenic OP Man
12 weeks ago

Ends

"Yes, you "
must be hard for you to not have sex with me

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By (user no longer on site)
12 weeks ago

Interesting thought around this but just because you want to bang someone, can you not be friends?

I'd say it's possible to be friends with someone you fancy providing you're both open and honest, and then respectful.

I had a friend at uni that was stunning but she wasn't interested. We were actually very compatible as friends and enjoyed each others company but knew it would never be anything else. I accepted that and enjoyed the friendship. Obviously, if she changed her feelings then great but I'd want to know that it was genuinely for the right reasons.

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By *partharmonyCouple
12 weeks ago

Ruislip

"Or do you secretly want to bang them"

Yes and yes. Why can't they both be true?

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By (user no longer on site)
12 weeks ago

"Yes.

I have one relationship like this. There are constant internal conversations over whether to flirt/touch/kiss them. It's hard work sometimes. But I'd rather keep their friendship than have nothing. "

This, 100%

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By (user no longer on site)
12 weeks ago

"Interesting thought around this but just because you want to bang someone, can you not be friends?

I'd say it's possible to be friends with someone you fancy providing you're both open and honest, and then respectful.

Very much the relationship I have with a couple of friends

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By *aitonelMan
12 weeks ago

Liverpool

"Interesting thought around this but just because you want to bang someone, can you not be friends?

I'd say it's possible to be friends with someone you fancy providing you're both open and honest, and then respectful.

It is a case of, does the friendship have its core be about the attraction and wanting to bang or is it simply just a friendship that happens to have an attraction

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By (user no longer on site)
12 weeks ago

I only talk to guess I want to have sex with

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By *eroLondonMan
12 weeks ago

Mayfair

You can be friends with someone that you find attractive, and quite often the sanctity and integrity of the friendship will keep those boundaries intact. That doesn't mean you don't have urges. Urges are just private thoughts that remain steadfast within your mind (mostly), only betraying you when you engage in platonic but well intentioned tactility, often nonreciprocal.

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By *B69Woman
12 weeks ago

Wiltshire

Yes one of my brothers best friends, he gorgeous and he always says if he wasn’t gay we would be together.

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By *ansoffateMan
12 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

Yes if it's out in the open. When you want to bang each other it can start getting complicated though.

It can be kind of funny too.

"So basically if we fuck we'd be hoping it's not too good, because then we'd probably have to leave our partners for each other."

"I wouldn't want to leave her, I love her"

"I've never loved anyone like this, I can't share that, I don't want to"

😢 Kind of crazy when you can cry and laugh together about something like that.

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By *inger_SnapWoman
12 weeks ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Yes and yes, but not always.

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By *avecooper69Man
12 weeks ago

Benfleet

Yes but it's tough

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By *riar BelisseWoman
12 weeks ago

Bliss

Yes. But I'd never bang them. I value their friendship over a fuck, that could get messy and ruin the friendship

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By *oxy-RedWoman
12 weeks ago

pink panther territory

Nah I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off him

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By *wiggy2112Woman
12 weeks ago

some where in Yorkshire

Yes definitely...I have a good friendship with a few men on here

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By *yrdsisWoman
12 weeks ago

Gleam Street

Easily... Why is it an issue for you?

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By (user no longer on site)
12 weeks ago

"Interesting thought around this but just because you want to bang someone, can you not be friends?

I'd say it's possible to be friends with someone you fancy providing you're both open and honest, and then respectful.

It is a case of, does the friendship have its core be about the attraction and wanting to bang or is it simply just a friendship that happens to have an attraction "

I guess the flip side is that for a relationship to be successful then you must be friends at the core as the physical attraction may change over time and isn't enough to sustain a long term relationship.

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By *vonne5exMan
12 weeks ago

Doncaster

I've got many very attractive lady friends and I've never attempted to move on them, "Why" I haven't a clue.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
12 weeks ago

Central

Yes

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By *ulieScrumptiousWoman
12 weeks ago

North West

No man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.

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By *ulieScrumptiousWoman
12 weeks ago

North West

"No man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her."

So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?

No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
12 weeks ago

North West

"No man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.

So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?

No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.

Julie, dear friend, are you talking to yourself?

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
12 weeks ago

North West

Honestly, I really don't know because, believe it or not, I don't think this issue has even arisen for me

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By *mf123Man
12 weeks ago

with one foot out the door

Yeah if you let the bang phase vanish

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By *ulieScrumptiousWoman
12 weeks ago

North West

"No man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.

So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?

No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.

Julie, dear friend, are you talking to yourself?

Pecan piiiiiiieeee.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
12 weeks ago

North West

"No man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.

So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?

No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.

Julie, dear friend, are you talking to yourself?

Pecan piiiiiiieeee. "

Oh, I think Pickle is watching that. Silly me

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By *asycouple1971Couple
12 weeks ago

midlands

Yes.

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By *iker JackMan
12 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

If the reason for the friendship is based upon the fact you find fhem attractive and hope it will lead to more then for me it’s friendship for the wrong reason

I base friendship on many things and never on looks

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By *hiversMan
12 weeks ago

Dinas Powys

"No man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her."

They absolutely can. I have several attractive female friends and I wouldn't dream of trying anything because I value their friendship.

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By *iker JackMan
12 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

"No man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her."

Absolutely not true

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By *oppet22TV/TS
12 weeks ago

huddersfield

Definitely yes

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By *rHotNottsMan
12 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I don’t think that persons really a friend if you ‘secretly’ want to bang them.

I have one, she knows I would but she would want more , she’s not into just sex, so we agreed not to. We went on holiday together , shared a bed even, she even got pissed and got her boobs out and asked me if they were great tits. Took a lot of will power not to bang her but I know it’s not what she wants and would ruin what we have

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By *eliWoman
12 weeks ago

Yes, easily. I think all of my friends are attractive. They're a beautiful group of people. It doesn't mean I want to have sex with them. Far from it. That being said... there's one friend where we flirt with the idea of more from time to time but then remember we're both too dear to each other. And too similar.

Sometimes I think people like to keep a friendship going when they know the other person is attracted to them, even if it would be far, far healthier to let them be free, because they like the ego boost and the attention.

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By *uffolkcouple-bi onlyCouple
12 weeks ago

West Suffolk

Yes of course and yes you might want to bang them, but if you’re not banging them when you fancy them there will be a reason why you’re not. Perhaps the attraction is not mutual, or you’re both in a relationship and want to be faithful. As long as whatever is preventing the sex from happening remains in place, you can be just friends.

I think a partner might struggle with it if they know the whole picture tho, so you might want to keep your feelings under wraps.

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By *avexxMan
12 weeks ago

cheshire

"Yes, easily. I think all of my friends are attractive. They're a beautiful group of people. It doesn't mean I want to have sex with them. Far from it. That being said... there's one friend where we flirt with the idea of more from time to time but then remember we're both too dear to each other. And too similar.

"
.... this

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By *midnight-Woman
12 weeks ago

...

Of course... but if its unbalanced it can break the friendship if the one who wants to bang can't or doesn't respect the friendship boundaries. Messages can get mixed /draining real fast

If the other person is aware then they also need to think about whether they are just holding onto the friendship for access to an on-tap confidence boost. It's very tricky.

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By *he AmbassadorMan
12 weeks ago

IRLANDA. / Prague. / Cil Dara

Surely you can be friends with someone you also bang OP so my default you can be friends with someone you find attractive.

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By *use and wolfCouple
12 weeks ago

angus

it's mr here, i have lots of attractive friends but that doesn't mean i fancy them but i am demisexual.

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By *oandstephCouple
12 weeks ago

Bradford

Seems pointless being friends with a female i wouldnt want to wank over or fuck🤷

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By *pgroupsexMan
12 weeks ago

Kingston

I think women are fantastic (sooo much better than us men!) and once you get to know someone, you typically find all sorts of things about them really attractive (intelligence, for me, is a huge turn-on).

My ex 'work wife' is a great example; We worked on tons of stuff together and are still really close. She'd be considered VERY attractive (even if we are just talking in pure 'looks' terms) and I'd love to sleep with her for sure.

If it happens one day, well fab, but it was never the reason we are friends, and I'm sure we are both mature enough that if it ever did happen, then things would still be totally fine (it would only ever be FWB). I'm also close friends with several of my Exs and still find them really attractive, even after what's gone down with us.

I think, in general, most (maybe all!)

men have a (somewhat warped!) perception that they have a chance with 'all women'. That's perhaps where the notion that you can't have attractive platonic friends comes from; so there is always a underlying "I'm up for it" on the male side of things

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By *ulieScrumptiousWoman
12 weeks ago

North West

"No man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.

They absolutely can. I have several attractive female friends and I wouldn't dream of trying anything because I value their friendship."

It's a quote from When Harry Met Sally. Where the OP took his thread title from. Not what I believe. 🤣

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By *a LunaWoman
12 weeks ago

South Wales

Yeah. I could do it.

I just wouldn’t be able to get d*unk around them!

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By (user no longer on site)
12 weeks ago

Absolutely can be friends with women I'm attracted to. If we've established that it's just a friendship and nothing more, I won't pursue anything more, unless it happens naturally and equally.

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