FabSwingers.com forum: Rejection Tactics

By (user no longer on site) OP
12 weeks ago

When I get rejected on here over and over I change the age range slightly? Might try a different picture in the opening message? I sometimes come off here for a few days to give myself a break.

What do you do?

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By *parkle1974Woman
12 weeks ago

Leeds

Don't give it a second thought and move on to the next one. We aren't going to be everyone's cup of tea.

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By *he AmbassadorMan
12 weeks ago

IRLANDA. / Prague. / Cil Dara

"Don't give it a second thought and move on to the next one. We aren't going to be everyone's cup of tea."
this,👍

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By *eroLondonMan
12 weeks ago

Mayfair

I commend your perseverance, OP. Patience is key, and I also think giving yourself a break from here every now and again is a good thing.

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By *ansoffateMan
12 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

I shed a single tear.

And then self-flagellate to drive the weakness out.

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By *ucka39Man
12 weeks ago

Newcastle

I do nothing, I'm well balanced

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By *eggieMarshmallowWoman
12 weeks ago

Cardiff

I like to send a string of abuse calling them out and generally being an incel

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By *rigbyMan
12 weeks ago

Skelmersdale

I find that nothing ever,ever works.

Its like a club for the young and good looking that you can only see through the window from outside but can never join in

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By *ohn.Wick.Man
12 weeks ago

The Continental

"Don't give it a second thought and move on to the next one. We aren't going to be everyone's cup of tea."

What she said.

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By *eliWoman
12 weeks ago

I've not experienced it.

I don't think you should be sending messages out over and over on here OP, I don't think not receiving a reply over and over is good for anyone.

Take some time away if necessary, remember it's not a rejection as such (because that sounds harsh and they don't really know you). Be more selective in who you message but also... don't give it too much headspace. Really reduce that. Fab isn't worth giving lots of hesdspace to, x

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
12 weeks ago

A den in the Glen

What is this 'rejection' you talk about? 🤔 😂

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By *iker JackMan
12 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

Rejected in what regards

Don’t get replies

Talk fizzles out

You meet and they say they are not interested due to….

Rejection can take many forms.

Changing your ages you look for and still getting rejection what happens next?

Surely concentrate on the age range and people you find attractive physically and mentally

That said if you come and go, like I did, take a break, people have less time around Christmas on the whole with work and (wider) family commitments

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By *tephenAndHisPicklenicMan
12 weeks ago

Ends

I go unlos if someone rejects me.

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By *tephenAndHisPicklenicMan
12 weeks ago

Ends

Seriously though, I delete the message and I don’t think about it.

I’m attractive. I don’t care anymore if someone on fab doesn’t see it. I see it.

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By (user no longer on site)
12 weeks ago

Rejection from someone I don't know and never interacted with is fine.

From someone who I've spoke to and met, that hurts a little.

I just go on a "all men are twats" rant.

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By *ustincamebridgeCouple
12 weeks ago

manchester

"Don't give it a second thought and move on to the next one. We aren't going to be everyone's cup of tea."

This

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By *riar BelisseWoman
12 weeks ago

Bliss

Have you been to the Bedford Social yet OP. Maybe mixing up online chatting and real life chatting will help with the rejection thoughts

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By *hatKlungeEnigmaMan
12 weeks ago

St Leonards

"I shed a single tear.

And then self-flagellate to drive the weakness out."

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By *ealitybitesMan
12 weeks ago

Belfast

I don't have the type of conversations that can lead to rejection so it's not something I've experienced on here.

I would suggest though that rather than constantly changing your pics or your filters you might be more successful if you focused on who you are and what you want rather than on what you hope might attract others.

Make your profile the best reflection of you as as person and allow your messages to reinforce that.

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By *ark742024Man
12 weeks ago

Cheshire

This site is based on rejection - don’t take it personally, as many on here reject everyone

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By *ellhungvweMan
12 weeks ago

Cheltenham

I think if rejection is constant then you need more than an age range change or a different picture.

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By *ornucopiaMan
12 weeks ago

Bexley

I was hoping that this thread was going to to provide ideas for rejecting people.

Sometimes this is something which needs doing carefully for one's own well being.

My technique is to bore them with long phone calls about subjects which I know they will not be interested in and yawn a lot during the process.

They will then think they will have a lucky escape by going separate ways. Job done!

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By *a LunaWoman
12 weeks ago

South Wales

I have a pillow that I sob into. Then I dial a dick to soothe my sorrowful pussy!

I just feel a bit deflated for a bit and then crack on with life. We can’t be for everyone.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
12 weeks ago

East Sussex

It depends who I'm rejected by really

I think your approach is a very sensible one op.

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By (user no longer on site)
12 weeks ago

I present myself how I want to be seen, not what how I think others want me to be. So I don't change anything, I just not care and carry on with my day.

/whistles

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By *eltCuteMightDeleteWoman
12 weeks ago

Reading

I've just laughed at all the 'don't take it personally' comments.

I'm not overly invested in rejection from people I don't know or have barely interacted with.

But I've also been rejected by people after we've met or have messaged a lot, by people I consider friends and not just 'fab friends'. Some things don't work out. And I usually message my best friend to talk about it, have a little cry. Avoid this place for a bit and then move on.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
12 weeks ago

East Sussex

^^ it's hard not to take rejection personally. I think you'd need a very thick skin. Not letting it affect you too much personally or dealing with it as the op does is different though

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By *TinyDelight-Woman
12 weeks ago

City Centre

After the initial sting, I trust that rejection is redirection to something better.

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By *agerMorganMan
12 weeks ago

Canvey Island

Do nothing, I’m not everyone’s cup of tea but someone’s cup of tea.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
12 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

I've managed to cut down the incidents of being rejected by limiting myself to sending one message a month.

Statistically I can then say that on average I only get rejected once per month. Which sounds much better than 'every time I contact someone.......😇😇

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By *eroLondonMan
12 weeks ago

Mayfair

He's my cup of tea...this fine gentle fellow...^ 🍺

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By *eroLondonMan
12 weeks ago

Mayfair

"This site is based on rejection..."

I think you need to disabuse yourself from that notion. If you truly believe that then I would only assume you're here for the forums and nothing else.

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By *amierebelMan
12 weeks ago

My own little world

I don’t get rejected on here 😎

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By (user no longer on site)
12 weeks ago

"But I've also been rejected by people after we've met or have messaged a lot, by people I consider friends and not just 'fab friends'. Some things don't work out. And I usually message my best friend to talk about it, have a little cry. Avoid this place for a bit and then move on. "

This is part of the reason I've chosen to no longer care quite so much (almost to the point of not at all).

I've been fucked over a few times by people who were close to me. Ghosting, abuse, slander, etc. I adopted the stance of shrugging things off, becoming tough-skinned and just carrying on.

Yeah, I do feel bad if and when it happens, but only for an extremely short amount of time, to allow myself to feel those emotions (instead of blocking them out entirely, which can have negative results further along), then say "Meh, fuck it!" and get on with life.

It's worked great for me, the last 2-3 years I've been doing it.

Some stuff is just beyond your control. Embracing that and letting go of certain things can be a game changer.

It all coincided with learning I have ADHD. These events and changes to my attitude all sorts of happened at once, the more I learned and reflected.

Rejection, in whatever form it might take, is just "one of those things" you can't control. The actions of others are entirely up to them. But the one thing you can control (to a certain extent, at least) is how you might react.

That's probably the most important lesson I learned. 😄

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By *r Mrs FuckableCouple
12 weeks ago

Stoke

Never message anyone first so wouldn't know.

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By *entlemanH666Man
12 weeks ago

"I have a pillow that I sob into. Then I dial a dick to soothe my sorrowful pussy!

I just feel a bit deflated for a bit and then crack on with life. We can’t be for everyone.

What is your current dial a dick service like?

Do they come quickly?

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By *entlemanH666Man
12 weeks ago

"Never message anyone first so wouldn't know. "

Rejection comes in more forms than a first message

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
12 weeks ago

Central

It could be useful to learn from experience but mostly it would reinforce the understanding that most people are not mutually compatible with most other people.

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By *ot really famousMan
12 weeks ago

monaghan

Cock pics cock pics cock pics....rinse and repeat..

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By *entlemanH666Man
12 weeks ago

Rejection is re-direction to someone who will worship you

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By *olinOfBathMan
12 weeks ago

Corsham

I arrange to have them put into landfill.

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By *oxy jWoman
12 weeks ago

somerset

rejection is one of the norms of the scene and as there are many many many more guys than women/couples they will feel it most ... if rejection is a problem for you then this scene as a whole is properly not for you as its a selection/rejection thing jasy as in normal life....

so many moan about rejection but surely its just a natural thing in life if you get rejected move on its that simple ...

and it will only get worse for guys as more n more guys join daily yet not many women or couples if any ....

put 100 guys in a room and one woman theres a strong chance she selects no one and thats how swinging works its not a knickers down for anyone scene as some think or hope..

i say to anyone if rejection is a thing that bothers you then take a real break or if its really bad find a new lifestyle...

good luck op

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By *hat.coupleCouple
12 weeks ago

Dartford

I don't overthink it and for a serious overthinker that's a tough thing to do! I look at it as black and white, we're not their type and that's that. We have a type as does everyone else so it makes sense that we just aren't for them. It's easy to overthink and let your thoughts get you down, but learning to get a thicker skin will help you move on without doubting yourself. Be kinder to yourself xx

Mrs x

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By *oxy-RedWoman
12 weeks ago

pink panther territory

I would never ask a guy outright for a meet on fab so I haven't had the misfortune of being rejected

I have in real live and it does sting a bit ,but I just tell myself that worse things happen at sea

We are never going to be everyone's cup off tea,fact

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By *electableicecreamMan
12 weeks ago

The West

[Removed by poster at 03/12/24 12:34:19]

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By *ackdaw52Man
12 weeks ago

Chesterfield

Nothing you can do will change the gender imbalance on this site.

Being 'rejected' is just part of Fab life. Try not to take it personally. To the people who are doing it you are just a notification marker, not a person.

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By *ucka39Man
12 weeks ago

Newcastle

Acceptance, you can't and will never always have what you intended on. Accept defeat and the rest makes it more manageable and mentally prepared

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By *lue Eyed JokerMan
12 weeks ago

Always on the move

I tend to have a quick wank, and move on

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By *exxyyDy11Man
12 weeks ago

North West

[Removed by poster at 03/12/24 13:35:18]

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By *exxyyDy11Man
12 weeks ago

North West

If I haven't been talking, I forget about it. If talking for a while, and I get rejected, I won't pretend. I do get deflated. But eventually I move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
12 weeks ago

Let it slide...if you focus on the fact you're not getting the responses you want,you will eventually put yourself in a negative headspace.

Try to speak to people you feel you'll connect with, and if you click, that's great! If you don't, then just move on

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By (user no longer on site)
12 weeks ago

"When I get rejected on here over and over I change the age range slightly? Might try a different picture in the opening message? I sometimes come off here for a few days to give myself a break.

What do you do? "

I invariably phone the Samaritans.

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By (user no longer on site)
12 weeks ago

Keep having breaks if it helps. If you were everyone’s cup of tea you’d be a mug ☕️

Although I do like Colin’s advice.

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By *ond Jimmy BondMan
12 weeks ago

London

A man who gets offended by rejection will not survive on fab I’m afraid. A huge amount of people will not fancy you. Ignore the rejection gracefully and keep looking. Personally o don’t care about being rejection but I have been upset when someone sends an abusive message instead of a polite “no thanks”

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By (user no longer on site)
12 weeks ago

"A man who gets offended by rejection will not survive on fab I’m afraid. A huge amount of people will not fancy you. Ignore the rejection gracefully and keep looking. Personally o don’t care about being rejection but I have been upset when someone sends an abusive message instead of a polite “no thanks”"

Same as myself. Well aware I am not for everybody, and not everybody is for me. I've had simple "no thanks" which is fine, but I've had some horrible responses, which can be disheartening but ultimately its just words on a screen.

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By *oxy jWoman
12 weeks ago

somerset

horrible and abusive messages should be reported there simply no need for it to anyone ... and there does not have to be a no thanks ....

the problem is people seems to think they can do as they wish on the internet ... but do they not realize that couples and women talk and word of mouth and screen shots will get them totally shut down away from fab ...

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By *tu.xMan
12 weeks ago

around

Don't take it personal obviously not for them move on

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By (user no longer on site)
12 weeks ago

horrible and abusive messages should be reported there simply no need for it to anyone ... and there does not have to be a no thanks ....

Oh agree, I'm not by any means suggesting that a response is needed whatsoever, but abuse shouldnt be tolerated at all. I've reported a few nasty responses in the past but they're few and far between in all fairness!

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By *ond Jimmy BondMan
12 weeks ago

London

horrible and abusive messages should be reported there simply no need for it to anyone ... and there does not have to be a no thanks ....

I have had long nice correspondence over days and weeks and then swap pictures and had abusive replies, but then they block you before you can even respond. I fear any man that ever meets these woman!

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By *ucka39Man
12 weeks ago

Newcastle

Learn to reject people as well, be ahead of your game

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By *HUSH-Man
12 weeks ago

London

I very rarely send out a first message and when I do I delete my sent message to them.

I’ve had 2 rejections on here which did get me down in all honesty. I had gotten to know them as people and liked them. It wasn’t just physical lust. They didn’t do anything wrong for the record. People have the right to change their mind if they’re not feeling it. There’s no hard feelings my end. Sometimes things just don’t pan out.

Rejection can be many things. Sometimes it might be a case of not right now as opposed to them just not liking you. Take time away if you need to and in time you’ll move on.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
12 weeks ago

"I find that nothing ever,ever works.

Its like a club for the young and good looking that you can only see through the window from outside but can never join in"

This is pretty deep. I felt every word.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
12 weeks ago

"Have you been to the Bedford Social yet OP. Maybe mixing up online chatting and real life chatting will help with the rejection thoughts

No I haven’t but would love to. I’ll be going to penthouse over the next few weeks but would love to try the Bedford social. I’ll look it up

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By *antricSeeker60Man
12 weeks ago

Durham

I wish them well and move on. We can’t be everyone’s cup of tea.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
12 weeks ago

"I arrange to have them put into landfill. "

LOOOOOOOOOmightdoOOOOOOOOOOOOL!

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By *hGlobbitsMan
12 weeks ago

Liverpool

"I've not experienced it.

I don't think you should be sending messages out over and over on here OP, I don't think not receiving a reply over and over is good for anyone.

This. Fab is great when you're in the right headspace for it, but if your self-esteem isn't as robust as it might be, it can all be a bit brutal. Don't be afraid to take a break if it starts to feel like a relentless conveyor belt of rejection.

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By *hunky GentMan
12 weeks ago

Maldon and Peterborough

Rejections can be difficult to accept, but you get used to them after the first few hundred. 😆 🤣

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