FabSwingers.com forum: The negative impact of fab

By *reenman19 OP Man
11 weeks ago

.....no......

This is a topic I've been discussing with some fellow members and recently I've weighed in on a post about men posting fake accounts. There has also been a rise in people saying that it's not what it used to be.

Fab has some many good points and for me it would be the communication to the like-minded, the confidence it can instill and connection to your tribe.

However I think some behaviours are popping up more frequently that make me just want to step away. I don't because it's addictive and when things go right it's soooo much fun.

For single males there is a large number of us that get changed by the site in one way or another and a lot of times you don't see good outcomes. I think a lot of this is due to attempting to immerse yourself in a world that doesn't need you (most of the time) and it being online makes your initial interactions somewhat disjointed. Not to mention, constant rejection.

You see a lot of hate for the guys that play up, which in turn does ruin it for others (in some cases not all)

In the past I've attempted to organise men's socials to try and combat the negative effects that this site has. To get lads out together and chatting as opposed to getting toxic or entitled, hidden behind their phones.

My questions to the forum:

Do you see problems or a decline?

If it was within your means how would you help?

How has fab changed your mentality?

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By *aughty_Smooth_OperatorMan
11 weeks ago

Birmingham

The decline I see is more and more people don’t want to meet more online chat and maybe some cam play

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By *eroLondonMan
11 weeks ago

Mayfair

"My questions to the forum:

1. Do you see problems or a decline?

2. If it was within your means how would you help?

3. How has fab changed your mentality?"

•

1. I see neither problems or a decline, nor any erosion of Fab. If they exist then I'm not cognisant of it, thankfully. I carve my own pathway on Fab, ignoring any impediments.

2. I'm already helping: I try to include men and promote the solidarity that remains overlooked. I can't see myself helping any other way.

3. I'm not sure I understand the question. I don't think it's affected my mentality. It's just Fab, a minor facet of my life. I'll admit I can't live without it because it's my only conduit to meet women and so far it's worked its mågïç.

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By *iker JackMan
11 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

Fab is a tiny part of my life that if it every had any detrimental effect or impact on my mental health then it would be gone

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
11 weeks ago

North West

The only negative impact for me/us are the wallies who like to send unpleasant messages.

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By *ucka39Man
11 weeks ago

Newcastle

The site has never had a negative impact on my mental or daily life, the site is just something that takes a portion of my life whereas I'm able to enjoy and fulfill other desires without it effecting other things that I enjoy doing. The lifestyle is Like a hobby

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
11 weeks ago

Central

The older the site gets, the greater likelihood that more people will accumulate that could negatively impact it. I think the pandemic was a negative influence on online behaviour, including in Fab, some of which remains.

It's wise for us to take responsibility for ourselves, how we affect others and how we are affected online. Certainly life has had some very strong pressures against good well-being, so online life and experiences are not isolated from these.

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By *ellinever70Woman
11 weeks ago

Ayrshire

I see problems, not a decline

I have no desire to help men that are clueless

And it's changed me in as much as I'm pretty astonished about what goes on in the mind of some men who probably pass as perfectly ordinary functional men in the real world

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By *ABflirtyWoman
11 weeks ago

Norwich

Loads of men who are married saying they are single ... Lots playing games .. when you have this time and time again it makes you feel everyone is like it here. And i know there is some lovely people here too.

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By *rHotNottsMan
11 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

What a weird post can’t make out what it’s really about. It’s part usual whiny man, part playing the victim , criticise site as usual & quite condescending towards men.

I’ve organised men’s socials before , I used to regularly cook breakfast for up to to 20 men on a Saturday morning. But I would never dream of doing that, for people on a sex site I saw as abusive to women where I self-confessed I was addicted to it ! if you’re gonna mentor people you really need to work on yourself a little first.

We’re all (hopefully) adults , if it’s not working, or you don’t like the site then you should take a break surely?

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By *jlondon78Man
11 weeks ago

Suffolk

With so many on this site it's hard to tell real from fake and in my opinion it can have a negative impact especially when trying to make a connection and getting nothing. Still it is what it is

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By *ansoffateMan
11 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

Do you see problems or a decline?

I see problems sure, it's about the same as it's ever been.

If it was within your means how would you help?

Make everyone use sarcasm as a defence mechanism.

How has fab changed your mentality?

I've learnt from people on the forums and relationships, in various ways. I'm making an effort to be more conscientious.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
11 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

I really don’t think that deeply about it! It’s always worked for me when I’ve wanted it to

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By *B69Woman
11 weeks ago

Wiltshire

I don’t use this site enough to have any impact on my life, but when I do it’s been very positive.

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By *ealitybitesMan
11 weeks ago

Belfast

I've been here 8 years and I don't recognise anything in your post.

In all that time I've had a couple of negative experiences but nothing that could ever affect my mental health or change my approach.

I've only ever seen fab as a hobby and not a lifestyle choice and as Nero said above I paddle my own canoe.

I've never treated it as a competition because for a start I wouldn't even know who I was supposed to be competing with.

I'm not in any chat groups and don't discuss what others may or may not be doing so I only know how to be me.

I would deliberately avoid any same sex discussion groups because I know from experience that a large proportion of fab support groups are anything but and they encourage toxic behaviour rather than deal with it.

If I decide to leave fab it will be because I want to and not as a result of other people's behaviour.

I can honestly say that I've never once felt like a second class citizen here and that isn't because everyone is so welcoming and inclusive but in spite of the fact they aren't.

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
11 weeks ago

Herts/Beds/Lomdon

What negative effects? People not being interested isn’t a negative effect.

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By *ife NinjaMan
11 weeks ago

Dunfermline

Rejection use to make me feel ugly. Solution....don't send many messages and go to clubs instead

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By *exxyyDy11Man
11 weeks ago

North West

When I first joined, I used to feel like shit especially when getting rejected. I won't lie.

Then I thought, why the fuck should I get worked up over it and it isn't the end of the world. So now I mostly use the forums and will chat to anyone and everyone. If we find each tower attractive, great. And if not, then not too worry. We can still be respectful and have a laugh on the forums.

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By *olinOfBathMan
11 weeks ago

Corsham

Fab certainly hasn't affected me negatively.

Of course, that could be because, a) I don't take either Fab or myself seriously, and, b) I'm a legend, according to my verifications.

Anyone who doesn't enjoy Fab should find another hobby. And, if Fab is anything more than a mere hobby to you, seek help.

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By *ABflirtyWoman
11 weeks ago

Norwich

"What negative effects? People not being interested isn’t a negative effect. "
That is very negative ...

we need to start thinking positive from that good think happen . lol

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
11 weeks ago

Herts/Beds/Lomdon

"What negative effects? People not being interested isn’t a negative effect. That is very negative ...

we need to start thinking positive from that good think happen . lol

Hang on…just stubbed my toe and I’m trying to work out how I can blame fab

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By *iker JackMan
11 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

"What negative effects? People not being interested isn’t a negative effect. That is very negative ...

we need to start thinking positive from that good think happen . lol

Hang on…just stubbed my toe and I’m trying to work out how I can blame fab

My dazzling good looks made you lose concentration 🤣🤣🤣

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
11 weeks ago

Herts/Beds/Lomdon

"What negative effects? People not being interested isn’t a negative effect. That is very negative ...

we need to start thinking positive from that good think happen . lol

Hang on…just stubbed my toe and I’m trying to work out how I can blame fab

My dazzling good looks made you lose concentration 🤣🤣🤣"

My toe hurts and it’s Jack’s fault. I blame Jack. Jack is on Fab. I blame Fab too.

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By *tephenAndHisPicklenicMan
11 weeks ago

Ends

"What a weird post can’t make out what it’s really about. It’s part usual whiny man, part playing the victim , criticise site as usual & quite condescending towards men.

We’re all (hopefully) adults , if it’s not working, or you don’t like the site then you should take a break surely? "

Perfectly put tbf

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By *HUSH-Man
11 weeks ago

London

I’m too new to comment on whether it’s declined or not. I can understand why people can get disheartened on here. I’ve felt that way too. It can make you feel inadequate, insecure, invisible and if you are feeling a bit down it’s not the place to be. That isn’t exclusive to fab though and is far worse on dating apps and other social media platforms.

If it was within my means I don’t really know how I’d improve it for everyone. Less fake accounts seems to be the only thing I can think of 🤷‍♂️

FAB has changed my mentality for the better. That’s entirely the forum and the people posting on it. I’ve always been given advice when I have asked. Glowupdoll’s “Think about your reputation” was/is sage advice that I’m really grateful for. It made my clubs nights a success (I didn’t get laid, I made contacts, spoke to people. It gave me confidence to do it again)

I’ve become a lot more comfortable talking about sex. I wasn’t like that before I signed up here. I am (slowly) making friends on fab. Although that wasn’t my intention I’m pleased it’s happening. I’m in a position now where I’d like to respond to more people in my chats, get to know them as people but I get a bit overwhelmed by it. I’m not suggesting they are all after me for the record. They are conversations usually started from a thread.

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By *exxyyDy11Man
11 weeks ago

North West

"I’m too new to comment on whether it’s declined or not. I can understand why people can get disheartened on here. I’ve felt that way too. It can make you feel inadequate, insecure, invisible and if you are feeling a bit down it’s not the place to be. That isn’t exclusive to fab though and is far worse on dating apps and other social media platforms.

If it was within my means I don’t really know how I’d improve it for everyone. Less fake accounts seems to be the only thing I can think of 🤷‍♂️

This was a great reply. Thanks buddy. You have articulated everything I was about to say. Best advice I've ever got was just enjoy yourself on here regardless of whether or not you get meets. And that social events and clubs are the best way to do it.

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By *exySwitches203Couple
11 weeks ago

Felixstowe

We have recently seen an increase in fake couples and single ladies accounts. Which are actually men trying it which is sad. A lot of couples looks for that special unicorn..then get very disappointed.

We’ve been on fab for years and it does have busy times and quieter times. Feels reasonably busy currently but a higher amount of fakes so is it actually busy?

We’ve met some amazing people from fab but we tend to meet them more at social events or clubs then swab fab details. Hard to meet genuine people and get a good vibe through messages first before meeting

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
11 weeks ago

Southampton

"When I first joined, I used to feel like shit especially when getting rejected. I won't lie.

Yeah I'm the same... it used really bother me when I first joined when I arranged a meet and got stood up... now I just think fuck it... lol

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By *exxyyDy11Man
11 weeks ago

North West

"When I first joined, I used to feel like shit especially when getting rejected. I won't lie.

Yeah I'm the same... it used really bother me when I first joined when I arranged a meet and got stood up... now I just think fuck it... lol"

It is their loss. You can't please everyone sadly. But just think of all the positives. The people you've met for socials etc x

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By *ANDCOCouple
11 weeks ago

South Somewhere

It’s brutal I know. But we don’t talk to anyone who hasn’t got 5 verifications.

Enough clubs meets etc to get verified imho even if there is not play.

It s out the issue people…and the decent folk can build their veri’s up.

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By *jlondon78Man
11 weeks ago

Suffolk

"It’s brutal I know. But we don’t talk to anyone who hasn’t got 5 verifications.

Enough clubs meets etc to get verified imho even if there is not play.

It s out the issue people…and the decent folk can build their veri’s up. "

Well said

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
11 weeks ago

Southampton

"When I first joined, I used to feel like shit especially when getting rejected. I won't lie.

Yeah I'm the same... it used really bother me when I first joined when I arranged a meet and got stood up... now I just think fuck it... lol

It is their loss. You can't please everyone sadly. But just think of all the positives. The people you've met for socials etc x"

Exactly

and the people I'm yet to meet

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By *weetiepie99Woman
11 weeks ago

cardiff

"It’s brutal I know. But we don’t talk to anyone who hasn’t got 5 verifications.

Enough clubs meets etc to get verified imho even if there is not play.

It s out the issue people…and the decent folk can build their veri’s up. "

Disagree with all that. Verifications are pointless, meaningless, waste of time...it's just a 'rating'. Well I don't want a rating. One is fine, just to say you are real.

'Play'...eeewww.

Are you not 'decent' if you don't have verifications?!!

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By *HUSH-Man
11 weeks ago

London

If it was within my means I don’t really know how I’d improve it for everyone. Less fake accounts seems to be the only thing I can think of 🤷‍♂️

Thank you bro

🤜 🤛

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By *ellhungvweMan
11 weeks ago

Cheltenham

I don’t think Fab has improved or declined over the years. It has largely stayed the same - different people but the noise is unchanged.

Fab has always been quite an unforgiving place at its core and I can see why many people get disheartened. All I can say is that if Fab is causing you issues then you are genuinely better elsewhere - just to help with your sanity.

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By *ortyairCouple
11 weeks ago

Wallasey

We've been on and off the site since it started and haven't noticed much of a difference over time.

There used to be a pretty girl in the main banner of the site but she disappeared after a few years.

In the beginning new pics that were posted were shown on the main page of the site, which always seemed a bit weird to us.

As for the site improving or having a negative effect on your mental health, if that is the case you have bigger issues than worrying about whether the site has changed or not. You should remove yourself and seek professional help from a mental health expert before coming back. Swinging is not the answer if you are feeling fragile mentally.

That's my two penny worth, oh yeah there's always been fakes and there always will be. But there's always been genuine people too. Fab is just a small slice of the outside world, looking to shag one another. It's not serious and it should be fun.

Mrs x

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By *jlondon78Man
11 weeks ago

Suffolk

Wow that's a well written statement

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